I Am Just So Happy To Be Alive - Just Filled With Gratitude ATM

Despite all of the madness of this world we live in, I still feel so grateful to be alive and I wanted to share that gratitude with all of you, right now, in this very moment. I hope you enjoy this one.

Transcript

Hey guys,

I hope that you guys are doing amazing wherever you are in the world.

My name is Boomshakha and I welcome you to my podcast or to my channel,

Wherever you guys are listening or watching me at.

I really appreciate your support.

In this video,

I want to speak to you guys about something abstract,

Something that is really not discernible or something that's very intangible,

Something that you can't really talk about,

But I'm going to try and talk about it.

Because I've been feeling this emotion recently,

This emotion of joy,

This absolute ecstatic joy at being alive.

It's just been a really interesting adventure for me to feel that emotion because I have been through times where I felt absolutely crappy about my life and I've been through times where I've felt really,

Really good about my life.

In this moment in time right now as I'm standing here in front of you doing this video,

I feel this sense of contentment,

This kind of peaceful joy.

Not a kind of ecstasy joy,

Ecstatic joy,

Or not a kind of joy where I'm running after something or feeling some kind of lack,

Not the kind of joy where I want to work really hard or be really productive or I want to move around a lot or that kind of crazy joy.

And not the kind of sadness obviously where I'm just depressed and want to hide in the corner.

Not those kind of emotions.

I'm feeling the kind of joy where I just feel at peace with the world,

With myself and with where I am in the world.

And recently a friend of mine actually mentioned this to me.

She said,

You know,

I love the fact that you are so,

It's so obvious that you are so happy to be alive.

And it was actually interesting to me that it is visible to people that I'm happy to be alive because usually I try to hide it from the world because people are always negative about the fact that I'm happy.

They always say,

You know,

How are you happy?

There's a lot of negative stuff going on in the world right now specifically.

I mean the world is dying.

There's a lot of stuff I'm not going to talk about that's going on in the world that's basically killing the planet and people are dying and there's slavery and things like that.

So how can you be happy when you live in a world knowing that all of this stuff is going on around you?

And the people are always negative about the fact that I'm happy.

They're always trying to,

I guess,

Explain to me,

Which is funny to me,

They're trying to explain to me why I shouldn't be happy.

They're trying to explain to me why the fact that I am happy is a wrong way to feel in this world right now and the only way to feel is to be unhappy about the world and depressed and sad.

Which is really hard because sometimes I wonder to myself why people have to be that way.

Why do they have to be negative about someone else's joy?

Why can't they just let live and let live?

If you want to be unhappy about the state of the world,

Then be unhappy obviously.

Do what you want to do with your life.

But if someone else is happy,

No matter what's going on around the world,

If they are joyful about the fact that they're alive,

Then why not let them be joyful about it?

I don't get that.

I would never go up to someone who's happy and say,

You should be unhappy,

Everything is crappy right now.

But the reason I wanted to do this video podcast is because I wanted to talk about this feeling of just ecstasy and just the joy of being alive.

Now a lot of it is just coming from the fact that I am alive and that's what I want to really speak about.

It's the fact that I'm not happy because I have something or I am something or I am somewhere.

Not any of that.

Of course I'm happy because I'm in my favorite place in the world,

Chiang Mai.

I have this beautiful apartment behind me in my own space.

I'm really happy about that.

I'm happy about the person I am and the person I'm becoming and all the learning that's going on in my life.

I'm grateful for all my family and my friends and everyone who loves me.

So I have all these things,

Yes of course,

That are making me happy.

But the real reason,

The main reason why I'm really,

Really,

Ecstatically happy is because I am alive.

And it's just a weird thing for me because I've been journaling a lot about it.

And I've been realizing that that's the main reason why I'm happy.

Sometimes I'll just wake up in the middle of the night and I'll just be lying there in the darkness and I'll be thinking to myself,

I am so lucky that I am still alive.

That I am still alive.

I'm still alive and I'm still breathing and I'm still here.

My heart's still beating.

My brain waves are still going and I'm still alive.

And I'll go back to sleep with that pleasant thought in my head that I'm still alive.

And you know,

I'll wake up in the morning and it's the same thing.

I have this feeling in my head,

These thoughts that come up in my head that say over and over again that,

You know,

You're alive.

You're alive.

You're alive.

You're so lucky that you are alive.

Right?

Now sometimes I'll actually also notice my heartbeat.

Or I'll notice that it's kind of pumping away in my heart.

My heart is going badum badum badum.

And that'll just make me happy all of a sudden.

I'll be like,

Wow,

Can you imagine my heart's been beating constantly for the last 35 years and it's still beating and I'm so lucky that I'm alive.

Or I'll notice a pulse beating in my wrist.

There is this pulse in my wrist that always beats.

I can see it right now.

And it beats and it beats and it beats and sometimes it's really visible,

Especially after a run or something strenuous.

But normally as well,

I'll just be lying there watching some anime and all of a sudden I'll glance at my wrist and it's beating there,

Pulsing,

Pulsing,

Pulsing,

Pulsing.

Right?

And that in itself,

That little thing,

Just a little pulse in my heart,

In my hand,

Sorry.

And my heart,

Obviously my heartbeat.

It makes me feel so grateful because that is an indication that I am alive right now.

Alive,

Just alive,

Right?

I'm just here right now and I'm alive.

I'm not dead.

I have the capacity to be here right now.

I have the capacity to feel and sense and just be in this world right now to see what's going on in the world,

To experience everything,

To just be here and to be alive.

You could play a drinking game and the number of times I stay alive in this podcast or in this episode.

But I really wanted to give you a sense of this idea that I have been kind of tumbling around in my head.

And that idea is that I'm not happy because of something that's going on around me or inside of me.

But just the fact that I am here right now,

Able to experience this world in its essence as it is.

Right?

Now I'm not born,

I wasn't born in the 1600s.

I wasn't born in the 2100s or 2300s.

Maybe I will be,

Maybe I was,

I don't know right now.

But in this moment in time,

I am here right now and it's 2019 and I'm here right now,

Alive and able to experience exactly what's going on in the world right now.

In all of its joys and all of its fears and all of its doubts and all of its madness,

All the crazy stuff that's going on and all the good stuff that's going on.

All of it is something that I'm able to experience as a human being right now.

And I think that is what really truly gives me the joy that I feel right now at being alive.

It's because I'm here to experience it all.

I can walk down the street and I can see.

And I'm so lucky to have all my senses intact.

So I have my sight and so I can see the beautiful trees and I can see the flowers and I can see the beauty of someone being kind to someone else.

Or I can see the beauty of some animal or some bird or some insect.

I can walk around and I can experience all of it.

I can experience the taste of all of these delicious foods and I'm so lucky to have really,

Really delicious food in Chiang Mai that I can experience and taste on a daily basis.

I'm lucky enough to be alive in the world where I can buy anything at a click of a button and have it delivered to my house the next day.

I needed a kettle because I was getting a sore throat and I really wanted to have my teas.

So I went on Lazada,

Which is like an Amazon version of Thailand.

Lazada.

So I went on there,

I bought a kettle and I had a kettle the next day and I'm able to have delicious herbal teas at the click of a button.

It's such a simple thing and it's so,

It's really seriously so simple.

You're just sitting there and you're able to click a button and switch on a light.

You're able to put on a tap,

Switch on a tap and drink some water,

Some fresh,

Delicious,

Clean water.

These are the little things and it makes me feel so grateful every single time something like that happens.

Even though it's really small,

Even the fact that my pulse,

My tiny little baby pulse is going off in my little wrist,

That makes me feel so delightfully happy.

It makes me feel happy that I'm here right now and I'm alive.

Because the fact of the matter is,

As you guys know,

I am obsessed.

I'm absolutely obsessed with death and the fact that we're going to die soon.

But in this moment in time,

I'm so grateful.

I'm standing here in front of you doing this video and I'm alive right now.

I'm here.

And that kind of aliveness,

That sense of being here,

Of being able to experience everything,

Just being able to be with all of this stuff that's going on in the world,

Whatever it might be.

The fact that I can go to a ballet class if I want to,

The fact that I can get up in the middle of the night and go for a walk,

Or the fact that I can sit there and watch the sunset.

All of these beautiful things are happening in the world every single day.

And as a human being right now on this planet,

We're able to experience all of that.

And that sense of aliveness,

That sense of being,

Of being here as a human being.

We could have been born an insect,

But we're born a human being able to express all of this joy,

Able to sense all of this beauty.

And we're here right now.

We can move from one place to another in a plane.

In a matter of hours,

I can be here,

I can be there,

I can be anywhere.

All of this amazing stuff is going on in the world.

And we are lucky enough as human beings right now to be alive right now,

Here in this moment in time.

And that sense of aliveness is what I'm really feeling joy at in this moment in time.

And that's the feeling of joy and aliveness that I wanted to kind of really share with you guys in this podcast,

In this episode,

In this video.

Because it's hard as you can imagine,

Right?

It's not really tangible.

It's not something that I can really say,

Okay,

This is the reason why I'm so happy because I have a million dollars in my bank or something.

Not that I do.

But it's not something that you can actually just put a number on.

You can't just be like,

Well,

This is the reason.

It's just a pulse in my wrist.

It's my heart that's beating.

It's the fact that the sun is out.

It's the fact that the clouds are fluffy.

I don't know.

I mean,

These are all these little things that are making me feel grateful for being here,

For being alive.

And so obviously it's very intangible.

But I did still want to share with you the joy that I'm feeling at being alive.

And hopefully perhaps translate some of that joy to you if I can.

Alright?

Again,

Thank you so much for watching,

For listening,

For however you guys are watching or listening to me.

Either on my podcast or on YouTube.

I really,

I really,

Really appreciate all your support.

And if you guys have any questions at all,

Please message me anytime.

All my contact information is in the description below.

And I shall see you guys next time around.

Bye for now!

Reviews

Absolutely loved this- and feel the same… a lot. Sometimes I wonder, is it strange I can really get so hype over things like the clouds or the moon or flowers or- having running water. Thanks for sharing this message it was so light and joy-filled 🌸