Why We Suffer: Dhamma Talk With Bhante Sujatha

The Abbot of Blue Lotus Temple, Bhante Sujatha shares his incredible dhamma talk while visiting the temple. He candidly describes his own experience with disappointment and anger. He encourages the sangha to create realistic goals in order to benefit from our practice.

Transcript

Lots of people this morning.

Good morning,

Everybody.

So happy to see you all.

So thank you so much coming here this morning.

So you ever had disappointments?

Do you?

Everybody.

So OK,

Good.

A few days ago,

I had the disappointments in my mind.

When you have disappointments,

What is come after that?

Sadness.

What else?

Anger.

Yeah,

That's a big one,

Right?

When you have disappointment,

Definitely more than sadness,

We feel angry.

So that day,

I had a little disappointment when I think about my practice.

I'm very honest today,

OK?

So maybe this experience will help you to understand this practice.

I had the little disappointments.

Can you believe being a monk almost 40 years now?

And so still,

I have those disappointments.

And so then I experience behind that disappointment,

A little bit anger issue is coming.

So then after that,

I felt sad.

So then I was thinking,

I didn't do enough for my own spiritual journey.

This is not enough.

I had to do better.

So always,

Whatever we experience in life,

We feel it is not enough.

I know I'm always doing things.

I'm always going,

Always helping.

I'm taking care of myself.

And I do most of everything.

But still,

I had the moment in my mind,

I am not doing well.

Because there are so many things to consider around that.

So then I felt a little anger,

Sadness,

All those other demons are working into my mind.

But the good thing about my academic studies and the knowledge I gained throughout the years being a monk and studying kind of saved my life in that moment.

Then I was thinking,

No,

If I feel I am failed,

That's the best blessing I can have to gain something.

If I see it,

I am failed.

No need to be negative about it.

But I can get something beautiful after that.

So then quickly I realized,

Because why I feel disappointed about myself,

I always try to compare my practice.

Always I try to compare my practice.

Whatever people created,

I call the conditions,

Human conditions.

We all created,

Who made the conditions?

We all made some kind of condition.

What are the conditions?

Good is one condition.

Bad is another condition.

Like is another condition.

Dislike is another condition.

All the conditions,

We call the human conditions.

Your like and my like is totally different.

Your happiness is my happiness is totally different.

Why?

According to your condition mind,

It is always changing.

Then I realized why I am disappointed today,

Because of my condition mind.

So then I realized even I am doing meditation next 40 years.

I hope I will live.

If not,

However years I am going to do,

My next whatever years,

I feel exactly disappointed,

There I am going to die.

Then I realized,

No,

I'm not going to do it.

Then I realized,

I don't want to put my practice,

Whatever I call the practice,

These conditions.

I don't want to measure my practice,

Those human conditions.

Then I realized many people,

Including me and the people who practice around me,

And people listen to me,

People go in everyday life as a meditation practice.

Then I was thinking,

We all are in the same human conditions.

Now some people,

The day I started the temple,

The 17 years ago,

People I met,

All those years,

People who practice with me around the country,

Around the world,

I can see still they are going through those pain and difficulties and challenges in their lives.

Then some people I'm thinking,

Whatever I heard 17 years ago,

Still I hear the same story.

So then I was thinking,

They are doing their practice properly or something missing.

So what people are doing as a practice now,

Whatever you heard from other people,

Whatever you read from a book,

All those things you are comparing into your practice.

Do you think those are right?

Who knows?

Therefore,

Don't put your practice to those human conditions.

I think that the moment I realized that,

I felt so free.

Makes sense to everybody what I'm telling or confusing?

What do you think?

Make sense?

So whatever the world I call the conventional,

Whatever conventional,

All the condition people created in this world,

All of us,

Including me,

Don't put your practice those conditions.

The practice,

Your true practice beyond those conditions,

Human conditions.

Your practice beyond the time.

Time is what?

What is the time?

Time also condition.

Who made that condition?

We all did it.

Now people think,

I have to practice every morning 6 o'clock.

Every morning I had to do my practice 6 o'clock.

If you cannot do your practice 6 o'clock,

How do you feel 7 o'clock?

You feel,

Oh my god,

I'm a terrible Buddhist.

I'm a terrible monk.

And so I go to the Blue Lotus Temple so many years till I cannot get it.

Don't get into that ditch.

Don't get into that darkness.

If you do that,

I think that's the worst thing you are doing to yourself.

It is really sad for me to see many people experience this.

Many people come to me and telling,

My meditation practice month is still difficult.

It still doesn't work.

Still hard.

Why it is hard?

Whatever you have a condition in your mind,

What you call easy.

Then you are comparing your practice,

Whatever you understand,

Whatever you call easy.

Whatever comforting you.

So therefore,

Your meditation practice,

Don't put into like.

Don't put into the dislike.

Don't put into the happy.

Don't put into the unhappy.

Don't put into any extremes.

If you put into those conditions,

What will happen?

You are in extreme.

In that moment,

I was so happy.

I want to jump up and down.

Yes,

I got it.

More than I feel miserable about myself,

I felt it is so good I get this message.

So I was driving with this young man called Nick Brown.

And always he's driving with me when I go to the classes.

And we had a really great discussion about it.

So I said,

Nick,

This is the problem.

We put our practice into those conditions.

So that means how we are going to do our practice now.

My question,

How we are going to do our practice?

Still,

We have to use the condition words.

Don't misunderstand that.

So otherwise,

There's no way to communicate.

How we are going to do our practice now?

Yes,

OK.

Just do it.

And so when you sit and meditate,

Don't think,

Oh,

After I do my 15 minute meditation,

I will be enlightened.

I will be so peaceful.

I will be so happy.

I will be great.

I will be floating or something like that.

Don't make those assumptions and the stories.

Then what will happen?

Nothing happened.

Then later,

Oh my god,

Now think about it.

You come every morning,

Like Friday,

5 in the morning,

To meditate at the temple.

Now you all have some kind of commitment to your practice.

Then what I realized,

I'm very sorry today,

I'm not going to make the commitment anymore.

When I say commitment,

There's another condition.

So how am I going to practice?

I was sitting and practice hours.

I was doing the silent retreat hours and hours.

I was being in the middle of the forest.

I was in the meditation center,

Top of the mountain,

Without electricity and without con.

I did all those things in my life.

Then I realized,

What the heck I did in so many years and no benefit.

Then what I did so many years,

I'm so wonderful.

I feel so great.

I realized this.

I did all those conditioned things to make myself happy,

Telling other people,

Look,

I'm meditating.

Look,

I'm a monk.

Look,

I'm better than you.

Look,

I can do this.

Look,

I have patience more than you.

I have kindness more than you.

Then there is a name in front of my name,

Loving kindness monk.

That's another condition.

All of our foolish decisions in our life.

But I'm telling you,

To live in this society,

We have to understand there are some conditions.

Otherwise,

We all are going crazy.

So these conditions are OK for us to survive and live in this world,

But don't attach to them.

Don't attach to them.

So then I was thinking about the life of the Buddha.

He was a prince.

He had a very luxurious life.

Like when we are reading all the sutras about his life,

He's a party boy.

When he was in the palace,

Even inside the palace,

He had the nightclub.

In the modern world,

When I see what the words we are using,

He had that kind of lifestyle.

He was in one extreme.

He was thinking,

That is my ultimate happiness.

Then what he did,

He said,

This doesn't work.

This is too crazy.

Then he left and lived in the forest.

He didn't eat.

He almost died.

Self-denial.

Six years.

Then he was in another extreme,

Another condition.

Then finally,

He realized,

I'm so grateful to the Buddha.

Now I can see,

Because of these conditions,

I keep coming to the problem.

So let's make it simple for you.

I know it's too much for you.

Make it simple.

Don't make a big plan.

Just be.

Your meditation is when you are driving.

Your meditation is when you are at work.

One of my good friends,

I can see her face right now,

Middle of me.

And she's going through some difficult time at work.

She called me.

And she said,

Bandhe,

I'm having a difficult time with my work,

My boss.

And they don't like,

Because I gave a little,

I didn't give a two weeks notice to leave the place,

Because I don't like them.

So finally,

She called me and said,

What can I do?

Is it OK for me to leave?

And I can see she's here now.

And she's smiling and looking at me.

That's great.

And so I'm telling that story.

It's a beautiful story.

Then what I said to my good friend,

How about more than leaving one week notice,

Use that other week to be there as your practice.

Make sense?

How beautiful.

That means one week in a retreat.

So otherwise,

We are thinking our retreats are in 10 days in silence.

My retreat is in the middle of the forest.

My retreat in a temple,

It is no.

You can make your temple wherever you are.

But what you had to do,

You had to change your perspective about life,

How you do things.

I hope it helps.

So what I'm asking you,

Every day,

Every experience,

Every observation,

You can think this is my practice.

Somebody is annoying in front of you.

So then you can think,

Oh my god,

Annoying Buddha.

So more than thinking this person is so annoying to me,

You can see Buddha is helping me today like annoying.

There is an angry woman or angry man in front of you.

You can say,

There's an angry Buddha.

So that person coming to my life today with anger,

Teaching me,

Giving me the wisdom.

You have all the opportunities in the world.

Even no need to come to the Blue Lotus.

Don't.

I'm not asking to stop coming,

But it's your choice.

I'm so happy to see you all.

But you can make this temple middle of jewel grocery store when you are doing the groceries.

When you are waiting in the grocery line,

You can think this is my meditation practice,

My observation,

My kindness.

Everything is there.

Then what will happen when you come to that kind of mindset,

You go above.

What is the analogy in the Buddhist teaching?

You become a lotus flower.

Lotus flower growing in mud and murky water,

Opening to the world.

But lotus flower never touch the mud or water,

But still connected.

We had to connect it to this junk world.

All the problem we have,

We are connected.

So we get the nutrition from that.

If you separate the lotus flower from water and mud,

Lotus flower cannot survive.

So that means if you get exhausted and tired and you feel I want to run away from everything,

I want to live in a little island myself,

How many times you feel you don't get it?

How about right now,

Right here,

All this human condition,

Can you go above this murky world?

I think this is a beautiful place,

Beautiful place to live.

So always these days I try to listen more and with awareness and less reactions.

Just listen.

Just hear.

Just observe.

If it is an emotional story,

You can recognize,

I know it is a sad story.

If it is a difficult,

Angry story,

You recognize it is an angry story.

Somebody's life is,

Injustice happens.

But in that moment you feel I want to save the whole world.

But more than trying that,

First you have to observe your feeling.

Otherwise you become a part of it.

So very simple today.

There is no such thing called doing meditation.

I think the best thing is being in meditation.

You just being wherever you are,

Whatever you do.

Therefore,

Don't meditate anymore.

This makes sense to everyone.

Don't do it.

Just be with it.

So I had the two choices to make.

The moment I feel disappointment with my practice,

I felt horrible and terrible and get mad and angry.

Then good thing about my whatever so far I did,

Quickly addressed the problem.

Then I thought,

I'm not going to put my practice to these condition world matters.

It is unique.

It is different.

I am going to be myself.

I'm not doing this practice to make other people happy.

I just do it for my own freedom and salvation.

Any questions,

Any thoughts?

Yes.

I know you are going to have a question.

What you're saying is that not to want anything from our practice of meditation just to do it,

Not wanting these conditions.

Just don't want anything.

Yeah.

Again,

As I said,

When you come to that mindset,

There are no communicational words to explain it.

It is beyond explanation.

Our words are very powerful.

But when you come to this point,

That's another good thing I realize,

When you come to this kind of realization,

There's no word.

But I try my best to use those condition words to explain to you.

So if you get the flavor of it,

That's great today.

That's enough.

Any other thoughts?

Or confused?

Yes.

I kind of like how it's using the four noble truths in a broader aspect right now.

Like,

Is it just quite something that any of it is just bringing us into the deep inner-life?

Right.

So Tessa from the office got the message the other day,

Bante,

I know you are Saturday here.

Please send me the title to promote people are coming.

So what you are going to talk.

Usually,

I don't have any organized talks.

And so then I said,

Why we suffer?

That's the title.

So my point today,

When we are in those conditional state of mind,

Of course we are going to suffer.

Does this make sense?

We are going to suffer another 100 years.

That's why we are suffering.

Bante,

Is there a place to understand or read about the conditions?

Is that part of whose teaching?

Actually,

If you are going to read it,

This become another condition.

OK?

That's a great question.

These kind of things,

I'm telling you,

You cannot find in a book.

This truth,

This wisdom,

There is no reading level.

This is your mental level,

Your realization.

That's why I said,

It is very difficult for me,

Even what I experience,

Very difficult for me to put into the words.

So try to get the taste and make more discovery,

Inner discovery.

You can read lots of sutras.

You can get the taste.

But understanding this truth is very challenging.

So this morning I was thinking,

Now 2,

600 years later,

We are talking about the Buddha's teaching.

In the beginning,

It was an oral tradition.

The monks were memorizing all the teaching and keep bringing these teachings to the world.

Who knows what happened?

So therefore,

Don't believe all the books what we have now.

But still,

There's a possibility for you to learn whatever already we have.

OK.

So another teaching Buddha gave many years ago,

He said,

One day,

My teaching is going to dilute.

Why?

This great teaching going to those conditioned minds,

Then they are explaining this teaching from those conditioned minds,

Then teaching becomes conditioned too.

That's what's happening now in the world.

Therefore,

Listen to me,

Listen to other people,

Read the book,

Don't believe it.

So don't believe what I'm telling you today.

But what I'm asking,

Go and make a research.

You understand yourself,

But I try to explain whatever I learn myself.

OK.

That's good.

OK.

All the little Buddhas are here.

Come on.

That's wonderful.

Look at that.

Reviews

It sessions like these that remind me why this app is called "insight" timer! This stuck to me like spiritually mindful glue thank you so much for the tools to utilize when faced with opposition. Incredible.

Great dharma talk with insights about bringing meditation into everything you do and taking the middle path with meditation itself.

Yes, we are all over conditioned and this made so much sense to me! Blessings

This is a great Dharma talk, I personally gained a new perspective on practice.

When you think you don't understand or aren't getting it listen to this.

Very wise, thank you for being strong enough to share exactly nd not make up any story ⭐️🫶🏻

Exactly what one needs to deconstruct the 'perfect' routine of pratice and just be.

The best and shortest way to explain human life, suffering and practice. Heart opening and mind focusing advice - Just be with life. Thank you very, very much.

Funny, transparent, perfectly timed talk for me as I'm starting to recognize my job as my own personal 'mindfulness lab' packed with opportunities to practice. Gratitude to you, Bhante!

Very good l need to listen to this regularly to prevent myself getting to self critical about my practice.

This is a teaching I need to listen to more than once. Thank you for this jewel

What an inspiring and comforting talk. The conditioned mind, be mindful of it, and let it go. Very grateful to hear this today. 🙏🏽

This was so what I needed to hear! I woke up fine. Then I opened my email. I’ve been doing that more and more lately instead of my usual meditate before starting my day. It sets the tone. But that’s a condition, isn’t it? Lol
Thank you for this talk! Very insightful and I feel like I’ll need it on repeat till I get it. Just be present in every moment. That’s all. Lol 🌸🤗❤️

This was one of the best talks I have ever heard and I am going to share it with all my friends. Thank you so, so much!!! I will stop meditating and BE meditation. I know my practice and my life will benefit!!!🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💜💜💜💚💚💚

A helpful re-mind-er and reframe to assist one in coming into neutrality and presence.

Fantastic. I absorb information much better with humour.

Beatiful! Just helped me out to realize that I am doing everything right. Thank you!

I really loved this talk. Even though you said it was difficult to explain because of the condition of words, you tried to explain in a simple way. I appreciate you sharing your experience and realizations with us and I really like the anecdotes you used to help us understand your message. I feel like I gained a new perspective and insight to meditation and my practice and I am excited to try to "be meditating" wherever I am and with/without whomever (I like your example of "annoying Buddha and "angry Buddha" who are teaching us something.) No experience goes to waste. Thank you so much for this.

Amazing. Thank you!

Very honest and deep talk!