From Relaxation To Awakened Mind

Bhante Sujatha gently untangles one of the biggest modern meditation misunderstandings: true practice is not just “relaxation,” but Bhavana — the cultivation and awakening of the mind. Through warm stories about tea aisles, yoga mats, and silent retreats, he shows how too many options, emotional consumerism, and chasing special experiences can actually deepen confusion instead of wisdom. Bhante explains why loving-kindness and the breath are essential companions on the inner journey, how suppressed emotions arise in silence, and why, in the end, awakening is a path you walk by yourself, supported by noble friends rather than gurus. This talk is perfect for anyone feeling overwhelmed by techniques and teachers, and ready to move from temporary calm to a truly awake mind.

Transcript

So. . . In Sanskrit language, Deya is the word for meditation. So I'm talking very basic today. There's a word for meditation we call bhavana. Bhavana. If you want to write it down, If you have paper or phone, You know, You can write it down. No problem. And Bhavana. B-H-A. Bhavana. Okay? English speaking countries like United States, They translated this word Bhavana as meditation. Actually, It is wrong. So that's the problem. It is wrong because my background, My studies, My academic studies is Sanskrit. So therefore I know the language better. So bhavana is not meditation. Simple meaning, Bhāvana means cultivation. Cultivation. Mental culture Developing the mind, That is the better translation. Now let's use the popular word. What does true meditation mean? Developing our mind, Cultivation, Mental culture. Otherwise just sitting on the cushion doing nothing if we are not you know receiving wisdom What is the purpose of this sitting? There is no purpose. So now you can understand what is true meditation practice, Developing and cultivating your mind. Make sense now? So long time ago when i start the temple very beginning Uh. . . I can say maybe 20 years ago, But temple started 25 years ago. So one person came to me and said, Bhante, Before I meet you, I was practicing meditation 15 years. Sounds wonderful, Right? 15 years practicing meditation. I said, Great, How wonderful. I'm so new to this community. I'm just learning about the American culture, How people are thinking, Because I'm coming from totally opposite direction and other side of the world. And then I was thinking, Wow, It is amazing. 15 years practicing meditation. How wonderful! Then he said, Not wonderful, I'm so confused. Then I was thinking, After 15 years practicing meditation somebody is confused, Something wrong. Then I asked, How come you are so confused with this meditation practice? Then he said, The problem in our country We have so many options. What I did last 15 years, Place to place, Teacher to teacher, I was keep traveling, Looking for wisdom. 15 years I did it. Now when I go to one teacher, He say or she say something else, Then other teacher says totally different. Now I'm listening to those teachers and the techniques, I'm so confused. That's the only thing I develop in my mind. Confusion Actually that time, Because I don't know that many options, Because we don't have that many options in our countries, So therefore I don't know about those options. Just whatever we have, Just survive. That's what we do, Right? So anyway, I was so quiet about it, I didn't say nothing much. So one day, After a few months later, I was coming from, You know, Driving Route 14. After one of my classes, I think, If I remember right, When I was passing Carry, Illinois, One of my brother monks called me and said, Hey Bhante, If you are close to the grocery store, Could you please go and buy some tea? Simple, Right? Very simple. Go and buy some tea. I know tea really well. Why? I am coming from Sri Lanka. Sela aunty coming from Sri Lanka. All over the island we have tea. Is beautiful. I know tea really well. Then what I did, I went to Jewel and carried. I never purchased tea before. Okay, Why we always have tea from home? So then I don't know where they are. Then I asked the man, You know, I want to get some tea. Would you please help me? Then he show me, Go to that aisle. Then you can see, You know, Get whatever tea you want. Then I said sure. Then I went to the tea aisle. I was look around like this. I saw thousand kind of tea. I was so confused. Then I grab my phone, I call monk at the temple and say, Hey, What kind of tea do you want? Then right away he said, What are you talking about? Just tea. Now i realize in that moment i'm a i don't know maybe i'm too much thinking i'm a thinker i was thinking oh my god What is the difference? That man practicing meditation 15 years is confused. Right, So many options. Now, Middle of the jewel, I'm confused by thousands of tea. Now I am confused middle of the tea aisle, That monk confused at the temple, The question I ask. We all are confused anyway. So therefore what I did, I said, Okay, I will pick something. My mind is now getting like an American mind. What I did, I grabbed one. We read labels. I start to read the labels. I found very interesting tea. Good for sleep. Good for wake-up. Yogi's Tea. Calming the Mind Inner peace, Tranquility, Tension tamer, Eliminate stress, Buddha mind, Buddha body, Different label, Different kind of tea all over the aisle. I was so confused. Then I was thinking all the tea are very good. Why? Different labels. Then I was thinking what the heck I am doing now. I'm traveling, I'm teaching, I'm sharing this message. No need to do that. It's easy. Now, Julie called me and said, Bante, I'm stressed out. Go drink this tea. Right? I want to be calm. You know, Drink this tea. No need to go anywhere. Get all the tree back, You know, Tea brand and I can introduce it. Do you think it will work? I don't think so. I don't think so. One yoga studio in Mandaline, And I was staging in the winter day. I just walked into the studio, It's so cold. Then owner said, Bhante, Have some tea. I opened the cabinet. Can you believe, Even you don't believe the tea I saw? It says pregnancy tea. Pregnancy. I'm a joker too. I saw that. I cannot stop laughing. Then I said Adam. This tea is not for me. Right. So then anyway, I found some tea. I was sipping my tea until people come and sit down. Then I was thinking to myself, Oh, Interesting. Then I realized when we have our weak emotions, Business people, They know how to use our weak emotions to sell things. Makes sense? But, Don't misunderstand. If you are a business owner, Don't feel bad at all. Why? That is the nature of the business. We have to understand what customer is looking for accordingly. So we have to do the business. I totally understand that. But as a person, As a meditation practitioner, You can do two things. One thing you can do, Emotionally engage. Make sense? Emotionally engage and then what will happen? Keep buying, Keep buying, Keep buying, Keep buying, Keep buying. Then after two, Three years later, You do the garage sale. That's the emotional bias. Other person, Now think about the person who practice meditation, He or she. Bind things how? Mindfully. With awareness. Concern, Do I really need it? Then you are buying it. I will tell you another experience now, You know, Before we get into the meditation practice, Okay? Group of women Travel to Sri Lanka with me. Then we have Ayurvedic spa. You know, All the spices and this and that. So then next day Our driver cleaning the van. Then he hand over me a receipt. There was a receipt. Somebody purchased all those things. $800. But looking at it. I realize who is the person. Because I know the character of people who are traveling with me. Then anyway I hand over that bill to her. So then after, A few months later, I was visiting that area in this country. When I go there, She said, Bante, I don't use them anymore. She gave it to be everything again. What happened in that moment? Everybody is going crazy and buying, Buying, Buying, Buying. Her emotions are going crazy with that emotions. She was keep buying too, Like a little competition. Meditation practitioners, They don't do like that. Make sense they are not engaging emotionally they are engaging mindfully Make sense? Now be careful. With your emotions. Now you can see there are so many meditation teachers. So many meditation practitioners. So many meditation techniques. How we are going to pick one. The first thing I want to let you know. This is not an easy job. This is not an easy journey. Everybody understand that, Right? Maybe some couples, You know, Two friends are together, Maybe family members are together, Husband and wife are together, You know, But I am going to tell you the truth. If you really want to do this meditation journey, Inner journey, You are by yourself. That's the number one we have to understand. When you come to that point, Your mother is not there, Your father is not there, Your husband is not there, Your wife is not there, Your children is not there, Your dog is not there, Nobody is there. Only person is you. Are you ready to accept that if you really want to go in this journey? But in this journey, We can have noble friends. Noble friends are not giving 100%. They do whatever they can do, So I can help you as a noble friend. I'm not your guru, But I am your noble friend. I don't want to be a guru, Because I'm not perfect yet. Right? So therefore, I am your noble friend. I can help you. Today you know I was talking to Ana and my good friend who has come to the temple, She was helping me today because of my physical issues and we were talking about in this journey We are by ourselves. All other people meet and supporting? Respect them, But when you go in a journey, You have to say goodbye. They are not coming holding hand with you to enlightenment or contentment or happiness. No, You are by yourself. You know that's the number one you have to accept when you go this inner journey. Then next thing. I want to explain two words. First one is the word relaxation. Okay, Relaxation. If you want to relax, Everyday life, What are the things you do? Everyday life. Walk. Very good. What else? Read Anything else? Nature, Yes nature. Sleep. Okay. One day when I asked that question, One lady said, Drinking wine. She said that. Maybe it's very relaxing. I don't know. And so, You know, You can do so many. Go for a massage. Go for a spa service. How do you feel after that? How do you describe that feeling? So? Relax. Okay. Now think about, Anybody do yoga? Yoga people here? Okay, Yoga. So when you do yoga, What is the last pose you are doing when you do yoga? Shavasana. Now think about, You know, After hour later, 45 minutes later, Doing all the poses, Asanas. Now last pose we are doing, Savasana. So when you are laying on the yoga mat, How do you feel? So relaxed, So grateful. Now just imagine, Early morning you go to the yoga studio, Did the 45 minute yoga, Then you are doing shavasana, You feel so relaxed and peaceful, You are so grateful to the teacher, How wonderful my life. Then right away you get dressed, Take a shower, Get into the car, Driving 90 east, 7. 38 in the morning. Just imagine, Now lots of traffic. Bumper to bumper, Snowing, Accidents, Late to work. Late to your appointment. How do you feel? Stressful, Right? Now you are not like a yoga mat on the yoga studio, Right? You are honking people, You are pointing fingers for other people, And you know, People do all those things when they stress out. So what you experience on the yoga mat, So relaxed. Now real life, You are the same difficult annoying person again. So what is that means? The benefit of relaxation is temporary. Benefit of relaxation is temporary. That's why I'm always reminding people. Sometimes people don't like it, But truth is bitter. We had to tell the truth. Truth is bitter. If you cannot accept that, That's not my problem, Right? And so, I'm always reminding people, This is not what we call the Blue Lotus Spa. This is not a spa, You know, This is fake. This temple is fake. Do you see that? We make it for you to feel good. This is like a training school, Training college. People come here and train here in this fake place like a gym. Then we are going to live outside in real life. So therefore, Don't feel blue lotus is real. We made it for you. Real life is right after you go out from this door. I can see some people come to the temple exactly going to a spa. You know, If I want to make a spa here, Blue lotus spa, I don't want to work that much hard. You know, I have a couple of rooms and, You know, It's simple. But this is a totally different experience. Why? Because giving little bit more wisdom is a more powerful thing. Make sense to everybody? Now think to yourself, Relaxation is temporary. Make sense? When you relax your body and mind Halfway you are sleeping. Do you see that? Halfway you're sleeping. That's why sometime I have seen when I do the day retreat or something here. During the meditation I open my eyes and I look around. Okay, Then I can see people are really sleeping. Then, I not myself who is sleeping. Then I, As a question, Right after they opened their eyes, I'm asking how was meditation? Most of people were sleeping. Yeah. Oh my God, Bunty, It's so awesome. So wonderful. Then I want to, You know, I don't want to say in front of people, I want to tell them, Not awesome, You are sleeping. You were sleeping. So therefore sleeping is not meditation. So when you get in the relaxed state of mind, Halfway you are sleeping, Or I call self-hypnotize. It is not real. So now we call Siddhartha Gautama, We call Buddha. Buddha is not his name. His name is Siddhartha Gautama. That's his name. But after his attainment, Enlightenment, We call him what? Buddha. Buddha is not a name. What is the meaning of Buddha? Buddha, Bodhi, Buddhi, All those come from the same root from the Sanskrit word. Buddha means… Buddha means what? Awaken one. Enlighten one. That's the word Buddha used himself. Somebody asked from the Buddha, Who are you? Who are you? Buddha didn't say, I am Siddhartha Gautama. He said, I am the Buddha. I am the awakened one, I am the enlightened one. So, What is the real meditation now? Our mind has to be awake. So if you are sleeping. Then we call it sleeping. You know, A person who is sleeping, We cannot say, Oh, He's awake. No, He's still sleeping. Now even we walk around and doing thing, We all are in a dream state of our mind. We all are in a dream. We are walking in dream. So what meditation does is helping you to fully awake. Other thing what will happen when you get into a relaxed state of mind I have lots of experiences with people and sometimes I want to laugh you know it's very interesting people get into the many different uh I don't know thoughts and feelings in their head. One day I'm driving home again, One person called me very excited and said, Pandey, Pandey, I have something very exciting to tell you. I said, What is that? Actually, I'm passing crystalline. And so then, You know, Last night I was meditating. I was meditating. I was meditating, Then I heard something. Then I was listening to it. I was listening to it. Then I asked, What did you hear? I heard your voice. Bhante Sujath is talking to me. How wonderful, Bhante, You talk to me! Did you talk to me? Then I kind of calculate my time. I asked what time. I was totally busy. I was focused on something else that time. Even I didn't have a thought about her. I said, Be honest, My friend, I don't have that power. To talk to people from the distance, Right? I don't, Sorry, I don't have that power. I didn't talk to you. No Bhante you did. I remember your voice. I know that's the way you talk and all those things she's, You know, Keep trying to prove to me. Now almost 10 minutes we are talking back and forth. I said, No, I didn't talk. No, No, You are not telling me the truth. I say no, I am telling you the truth. I don't have that power. She said, No, You did it, You are not telling me the truth. Now I'm ready. Sometime when I come to the point, I will say, Even it is hurting, Right? I have to do the surgery. And so what I said, My friend, Listen. You didn't meditate. That's what we call the hallucination. Actually, She was so upset. I said, Okay, Bye. But later she came back, Still she's coming. And so, You know, Now think about it. People think when you get into that relaxed state of mind, Those things will come. Then don't think your meditation is so improved. I can hear from the voices, I can talk to other people. No, That's craziness. So, When you are really meditating, When you are relaxing, It's good. Without relaxing your mind and body, You cannot meditate. That's why in the beginning we are putting into the relaxed state of mind. But relaxation itself, It is not meditation. Make sense? Relaxation itself it is not meditation, It is temporary. Makes sense? It is temporary. So now you can see the background now what we are doing. So relaxation is very important in the beginning, But relaxation itself is not meditation. What is true meditation is that cultivation is the true meditation. Developing mind is a meditation. Mental culture is a meditation. When you go to the deeper awareness of the meditation, We call that awakened mind. So our goal from there. Zero to come to that awakened mind state of the meditation okay so Now I want to talk. Little bit. Why in the beginning we are practicing loving-kindness? Very simple technique, Right? Why in the beginning we are practicing loving kindness. So we all are, Our nature of our heart, Our mind, We are wounded. Do you see that? We are wounded. Sometimes we are smiling. Still you have problems deep inside. Now, When you are looking at me, Do you see any pain? In me, No. Right? But I talk to you, Right? You know, Right. You know, Now I'm going through lots of pain because I have back pain. But even I have pain, Using my mind, I manage it. I am sharing this teaching. But when I'm looking at you, I don't see any pain. But we all have some kind of mental, Physical pain. Please accept that. So Then people come to meditation. Then they are trying to meditation. I can see most of people cannot meditate without loving kindness, Loving kindness practice. Why is that? When we are calming down in the beginning, What will happen? Things you suppress, They are coming to the. . . Surface. Sometime is very dangerous if you don't have a proper teacher, Proper guidance in the beginning, Very dangerous. So I think most of people loving kindness in the beginning is a perfect practice for you. Why something negative come up during the meditation? Because of the loving-kindness we can soothe it. We can apply some bandana and okay, Everything is fine. I am well, I am happy, I am peaceful. You have some tools to deal with that. One time I was doing a retreat. Is a silent retreat, Day silent retreat. Actually, First time I did somewhere in McHenry County, First retreat. Right after I start the blue lotus temple. Now I'm going to be silent, Everybody is silent. Before we start the silent retreat, I know what is going to happen. They are excited, But I am not. Because I know the story. So what happened, I instructed people, You know like 10 minutes. I know you are excited for this silent retreat today, But I am not excited. So many negative things will come. You are going to be very unhappy. Be aware about that. That's the only thing I am going to remind you. People are looking at me. What? Negative things coming, We are here to be happy. Kind of they are not accepting that. I said, It's okay, Whatever. And so I was thinking, Okay, Go for that. And now everybody is sitting silently, Eating silently whole day. End of the rate trade i gave them time to talk Then one person said, I am so happy you gave that instruction. Those negativities will come and you, You know, Inform to us, But I was inside me, I was laughing. But Bante, During the retreat, I was so silent, I felt I want to kill Bante Sujatha. That's how I felt. Why? Because of him we are so quiet. You know, Now think about it. He had even anger towards me. Make sense now? So now you can see why we need the loving kindness in the beginning. So many years, Now think about your age. So many negativities. Happened in life, We didn't answer those things, We didn't find the solution for those things, What we did? Suppress. Suppressing, Suppressing. We call in the Buddhist teaching, Latent. Latent defilement. They are deep inside you. They are not addressed. When you go to silent retreat or, You know, Quiet period of time when you are meditating, What will happen? Those things you repress, They are coming to the surface, Then you don't know what to do. That's why loving kindness is very important in the beginning. Use like a prop, As a tool. Always repeat yourself, I am well. I am happy. I am peaceful. Just keep in your mind. Then, The next part of the meditation practice, Focus on the breath. Okay, Focus on the breath. So, Why focus on the breath? Always with us, Right? Now I can say, Focus on that clock. Focus on that wall, Focus on that exit sign or something like that. I can say focus on this quotient. I can say that, Right? Why focus on the breath? Breath is always there with you. I call my breath is my noble companion. Does it make sense? That's a really good word, Right? My breath is my noble companion. My breath from the day I was born into this world, The day I leave this world, My breath is keep supporting me. That's why he focused on the breath. Even according to the Buddha's teaching, He attained the enlightenment focused on what? Focus on the breath when we are focused on the breath what will happen the analogy in the buddhist teaching like calm pond or lake. Now think about the lake is muddy or murky, What will happen? You cannot see the bottom of the lake. If lake is crystal clear, You can see everything bottom of the lake. Sometime we see that right? So what will happen, We are distracted, Our minds are distracted because of the social matters, Family matters, Workplace matters, You know, All the matters, Whatever happening right now in the world, We are distracted. Therefore, We don't see the truth. So therefore, When we are focused on the breath, What will happen? Calming down. When we have a calm breath, Then we can see what is happening inside you. When you have distracted breath, You cannot see what is happening. All the decision you are making, All the words you are using, All the activities you are doing, Very negative. Why we are distracted. So anytime as a meditation practitioner, If you are distracted, Don't talk. Don't talk. Don't make the decision. Sometime when we are under anesthesia Right, Now think about it. You are not really focused, Right? But doctor says, Don't sign any papers. It says right? Don't sign any papers, Don't make any decision, Don't drive. Why? You are not really aware about yourself. So therefore, Awakened mind always fully aware exactly what is happening right now. When you are focused on the breath, You can see that calmness in yourself, Then you can make the decision. If you are not calm or distracted, You can take a break. So a couple of times it happened during the COVID. You know, I was a little distracted. You know, It's happened to me. I'm very honest about it. This happened to me. So what I'm telling always, I would go out. Then I go around the American park like three rounds, Like seven miles. When I come back, I feel good. I'm ready to talk, Why? That negative energy already burned, I was processing, I was aware. Now think about every time when you are negative or mad or angry, What will happen to your breath? Very fast. Then think about in that moment what is the action you are doing in life. Very negative. Now it makes sense, What is breath means? Breath is your anchor, Keeping everything together, Holding together. So that is the technique. Now you have two techniques. First technique is a relaxation technique. The second technique, Loving-kindness technique. So that's a safety blanket, Right? If something negative happens. Third one, Really practicing calming your mind. That's the third technique. Then there is a fourth technique is when you have a calming the mind We see everything differently. Do you see that now? Now when we have calm mind, Somebody honking you when you are driving. If you don't have a calm mind, How do you react? You are honking back? Or you are chasing that person. Make sense? So. . . When you have a calm mind, How do you react? This is how I'm thinking, Oh maybe he just bought a new car, He's practicing how to honk. Then what will happen? You are changing your perspective about it. So now think about somebody is driving crazy and fast, Then you are so mad and upset, You know, As a meditation practice. Or maybe she's going to pick her child. Maybe she's driving to the hospital. So every time, You know, When I'm sitting here and meditating, When I hear ambulance going by or fire truck going by, Every time, Wherever I go in the world, If I hear, Oh, Somebody's in trouble, Somebody need help, We have to send loving kindness. How wonderful. Right? So. Then now think about sometimes people are talking about the traffic. Oh, It's too much traffic. Oh my god, Crazy. Then meditative practice on how he or she sees the traffic. I am the traffic. Make sense? When you are practicing meditation you see Instead of complaining about the traffic, You see I am a part of traffic. So that's what we call insight meditation, Vipassana meditation. We see what exactly happening in our mind. One time, Again, I was sick. I cannot drive. One of my students driving me a long time ago, We are going to Chicago. And so while he's driving, He's eating an apple. Then the wintertime, A lot of flash happening, You know, All the big trucks going by. Then he said, Oh, I hate these trucks. I hate these trucks. I was so quiet. Then I didn't say nothing. Then I saw big truck is coming towards us. It is like a produce delivery truck. It is delivering produce for all the groceries. Then I quietly I said, A. His name is Ben. A said Ben. Look at that truck. Maybe apple you are eating now? Delivered by that truck. Can you see that? Then right away he is holding up. He got it, He got it. Now what is that means? When we are practicing your awareness developing, You see things differently, You hear things differently, Your senses are widely open. Now think about always we are using our senses where we want. Our senses are not working where we want. So that is the journey we are going now, To the enlightenment. Make sense now? So now let's talk about, Then I'm giving you time to discuss, Now think about this. What is the postures? You know, I'm sitting cross-legged. Do you think it is important? Yeah, So I can sit like this because most of my life as a monk, I would sit like this. Therefore, Even I have a lot of back pain today, Still I'm sitting like this. Why? More than a chair, It's very easy for me to sit like this because most of my life I will sit like this. When I sit like this, Good thing I can keep my back straight. Make sense? But if you are not used to that, Totally understand. Then you can use chairs, No problem. You can sit at a higher place, No problem. We have back issues, We have knee issues, They are totally fine. But what is the most important thing? Keep your back. Straight. Like this. Chin little bit up. I don't know why people are doing that. I think because of your cultural background, When people are praying, What they do. You know, They put head down. I can see some people always meditating like this. That's not healthy. Right? Massage therapist is not healthy. You know, We have to keep our neck little, You know, Straight like this. When you are doing like that is hurting and easily you are falling asleep. Then other thing I will tell you another experience I had I was doing a college talk in Phoenix, Arizona So during, Some people are sitting on the ground. During the guided meditation, I heard sound. I closed my eyes too, Like this. I hear something like this. Then I open my eyes, I can see one of my friend, Her name is Anne, And she's hitting her knee. Like this. Then the question is, You know, I asked Anne, Why are you beating your knee? I am angry with my knee. She said, She's very honest, Outspoken woman. And she said, I'm so angry with my knee. He is what? During the meditation, I opened my eyes, Looked around, Everybody was so nice, Sitting perfect. Perfect posture, They are maintaining, Everything is perfect, Bhante. I am the only person doing like this and always doing that, My, You know, My knee never going down. That's why I'm so angry with my knee. I'm beating my knee, Go down, Go down. Even she doesn't care about what other people around, That much she was mad. Then I was looking at you, You are sitting like this, Perfect. Oh my God, Bhante is a great meditation practitioner. You know, She's now comparing my body, Her body, You know, How she sit. Then I said, And. You are wrong. You know from age 10 until now I am sitting like this. I am very good to sit like this. But same time be honest if I want to have a nap I can have a really good nap sitting like this. Maybe you are thinking I'm doing good meditation practice. Maybe I'm having a nap. Therefore, When you are doing your practice, Don't compare with others. Other people's postures. Make sense? So I am always reminding meditation is not a punishment. You know about your body. Therefore you can adjust your body according to your body style, How you feel. All this you can change that. Make sense? Then next one. Now posture is fine, Therefore you can find whatever posture you like. But most importantly, Keep your back straight. The next thing people are struggling with, Wandering mind. When you are meditating, Wandering mind, Mind is going all over. People don't like it. Oh, Somebody said, You know, I heard quiet our mind. I understand what it means. Do you think when you are practicing meditation you can quiet your mind? Most of people don't want to meditate, Why they are keep telling me, Bhante, I cannot quiet your mind. I remember one person who used to come to Wednesday night meditation at the temple. He said, Bhante, I cannot meditate. I s y Then he said, I cannot quiet my mind. I said okay. So then instead of giving answer what I asked, Do you go to work tomorrow? He said yes. Where do you work? In a bank. I said okay, Now just imagine you are going to work tomorrow morning in the bank. You know you are sitting in your office. You are so quiet, Your mind is not working. It's frozen. Do you like it? Then he said, No, I don't like it. Then I said, Stop complaining then. So mind has to work. It's a working organ. Mind is working. Mind is doing its job. It's okay. So quieting mind is not meditation. If you are quiet, You are dead. You know what is the real mind? Awakened mind. Awakened mind is not quiet. So many people cannot meditate, Why they want to quiet their mind. Good luck. You cannot quiet your mind. What you can do, You can observe your mind. Remember so many times, I know people maybe heard that, I said, So when we are watching and observing your breath, People are trying to quiet their mind. Don't try to quiet your mind. Instead of quieting your mind, What you can do, Observing your mind. Exactly like a babysitter. Babysitter There are two different kinds of babysitters. One babysitter ask baby to sit and play and always that mother or father who are babysitter always screaming don't do it Don't do it. Sit down. Be calm. Don't jump. Do you think are you helping the baby? No. Baby cannot develop his personality. Why always somebody is controlling somebody is pulling the string So that baby. Live his or her life based on what? Based on fear. Why? Very difficult to make the decision. Why somebody is controlling. So those babies, One day. . . They don't do good. Why they always feel risk to make the decision. My life, I'm a risk taker. Always my ordination to now. I took the risk. That's how I did it. It worked for myself because I'm a stubborn person anyway. Right. So. So now there's another babysitter. This babysitter is a little bit different. This babysitter never used the word no. How wonderful that babysitter, That mother never used the word no. That mother, That babysitter explained to the baby cause and conditions. If you do this, This may happen to you. If you go and put the finger into the candle, You burn. You feel hurt. It takes time for babysitter to explain. But good babysitter always explaining cause and conditions, Then what good babysitter does, Go and play. Now think about that mother baking a cake, Doing the laundry, Calling a friend. She's busy in the household, But baby's playing, Running around, Then the baby's crawling and go and pointing the fingers on the outlet or something. What that wise mother does. Throw everything away, Go and grab the baby. Can you do the same thing for your mind? Instead of controlling it. Don't control it. Let it be but you can use your awareness to watch and observe watch and observe what my mind does where my mind going now think you see things you hear things you taste things you smell things you know all your senses are working now think about now think about there's a big chocolate cake here Now think about right after this, There's a big chocolate cake. We all like to eat chocolate cake, No problem. Please do. But don't eat half of the cake. Eating chocolate cake is okay. The problem is how you are going to eat it. Don't have awareness. So when you are eating you are not eating that whole chocolate indulgence. You are eating to sustain my body. There's a purpose. That's how meditation practice now observe his or her six senses including the mind. Make sense now? Okay, Yeah. So now you can see, Therefore, Controlling doesn't work. Only observation is the real meditation practice. You cannot quiet your mind. There is no such thing in the meditation. Even another hundred years you are practicing meditation, You are not quiet. But instead of having quiet mind, What is happening in your mind? You are aware. You are. Mindful, You are concerned, You are alert, Your lights are always on, Cameras are always on. So Buddha gave an analogy, Real mindfulness practice is exactly like holding a mirror in front of your face. Now it makes sense, Holding a mirror in front of your face. Now think about all your senses are aware. Around here. All your senses are working somewhere around here. That's how I see it. So what we have to do, When you see something, Your mindfulness mirror in front of your face, To your eyes, To your ears, Nose, And you know always that mindfulness mirror going around is the protection. That is the real meditation. Otherwise, If you are control and suppress these senses, How you are going to enjoy your life? How you are going to watch a movie? How we are going to do things. You cannot live your life. That means you're almost like a. . . Dead person Mindful practitioners, Meditation practitioners, Not act like a dead. They are very active, They are very productive, They are working hard. That is real meditation practitioner's behavior. Does it make sense? So anybody has any question about the meditation practice, You know, During the meditation, What you are going through? Any challenges? That is very important. Is there kind of like an ultimate goal that I should be going after during this meditation? So like, I know when I started, It was a big challenge for me to like kind of stop my ruminations, You know, My brain from going into its own stories. And I've improved in that and it's been amazing. But is there kind of, When I sit down on a Saturday morning with you, Is there a goal I should be aiming for? Good. Now think about, Good question. I really like that question. Now think about every day what you do. After wake up you go to work, Do the business, Family matters and always doing something. So the question is you are asking based on that doing point. So we don't do meditation. Don't do it. I'm, You know, Oh, Bhante, I'm trying to do the meditation, Doesn't work. I said, Don't do it. That's my answer, Most of the time I say don't do the meditation. But we use that term, Otherwise how are we going to speak, Right? We do meditation, But don't really do-do. Just be. You know, When you go to work every morning, What is your goal? To make money. Living. When you come to meditation, What is my goal? Don't have a goal. Don't keep a goal. I just trying to find my present moment peaceful, Moment to moment. When I was in the school, McHenry County, My professor one day he said, One day okay I'm going to my class, You can stay in my office and do homework and so you have a good day. Then he grabbed his backpack and he tapped my back and then he said, Oh, I'm leaving. I said, Okay, Thank you, Sir. You have a good moment. I said that. It just came out of my mouth. Then he stopped like frozen. He's a world religion professor, Right? He dropped his backpack and he sit next to me. It is so amazing what you said. I was telling you, Have a good day. You are telling me have a good moment. Meditation practitioners are not Long goal they are focusing on. When you are focusing on the long goal, It becomes a job. So therefore try to find the peace in this moment. Remember those peace walking monks, He said, Today is my peaceful day. That's it. Just one day. If you make your today peaceful. Tomorrow is fine. You know therefore always plan your meditation moment to moment. I am at peace this moment. I am loving this moment. I am kind this moment. Therefore there is no goal for meditation. But we can talk about the goals, But even we are talking about the goals, It is not a work. It is a whole mental exercise. But still we have to use the words. And also, When you are meditating, Another problem people come to you, People always talking about time. How long I have to meditate. The training time, When you are training your meditation journey in the beginning, I am asking two hours, No, Just kidding, Two minutes. Can you do two minutes meditation every day? Sitting two minutes? I know when I say two minutes, I know how to trick you. That's why I ask two minutes. When I ask two minutes, You know how to do five minutes. If I say two hours, Oh no. I know how our minds are working now. So I know when I'm asking two minutes, You say, Oh, That is easy. Then definitely I'm really sure if you start meditation, You are doing more than two minutes. Therefore, Don't cling to the time. In the beginning training time, Yes, You do. But now, Sometimes people asking, Do you know the time? How long? Actually, My mind clock is working. It's very interesting. I know exactly how long it's going now. So therefore I'm not really into time now anymore. I just sit. I feel my body clock is helping me to figure it out. So therefore don't attach to the time, Don't attach the place, Don't attach the person when you're in this journey. Does it make sense? No goal. If you have a goal, If you use that word moment to moment, Moment to moment, Moment to moment. Thank you. Okay. Okay. So then what I'm going to do, I'm going to give you like maybe five, 10 minutes break, Use the washroom and come back. Okay. Okay, Now I want to ask you another question. Before we start to do little guided meditation, When you do meditation, Now I talk about how to do, How to sit and all those things, When you do your meditation, Every single day, How you are going to measure it, You are doing well. How you are going to know you are doing well. Based on what? Now think of some people already I know come into the temple regular basis and how do you know you are doing well? Based on what, We can make the decision, Oh I'm getting better. Feel good, Feel good. But, You know, When we say feel good, Later maybe you feel bad too. Right you know so i want to ask a little bit more about it how you are going to know self-control. Actually, I understand what it means, But I don't like the word control. Self-awareness, Self-discipline, Right? Self-discipline. So I will tell few things very quickly, I can give another whole talk about it. When you are practicing meditation, I observe myself, Okay? Then I realize my loving-kindness practice is getting better. Towards myself and the world. Make sense? My loving kindness is getting better towards myself. That means there's a good sign my meditation is working. The second one, My compassion is getting better. What is compassion? Kindness to others. So, Do you know, Maybe, You know, Nurses and medical field people are there, You know, Therapists are there. Sometimes people use compassion fatigue. So I can see, Especially medical field, The monks, The teachers, People doing in the public service, Right? So they have that, You know, Keep giving, Keep giving, Keep giving. Actually, We think it is a compassion if you are hurting to yourself. So therefore true compassion is how I am going to help you without hurting to myself. That's very important. I did the meditation for the nurses in Phoenix. That's what I am trying to teach them. You little Buddhas keep helping people in the world. Beautiful, I appreciate. But don't hurt yourself. You know, Like a few years ago, I was thinking to myself, I'm traveling almost 200 days per year. When I'm traveling, I'm tired and exhausted. I don't want to do this, Right? Too much. Why? Every day I'm listening to people, Difficulties and challenges. Then I realized, You know, I'm not focused on myself. I'm taking everything to myself. End of the day now i feel i can be the dumpster yes i'm a dumpster right by my dumpster is a bottomless I, You know, People can throw it, But I cut the bottom. So that means whatever they throw is processed and gone. So after this, I'm fine. Makes sense? So therefore, Real compassion is how I'm going to help you without hurting to myself. End of the day, I don't have these problems. Makes sense? I try to help my best. So that quality also getting better. The next one when we are really practicing sympathetic joy. What is that? Sympathetic joy is getting better. That means opposite of. Jealousy Make sense? So that means when you are practicing meditation, Now think of somebody who bought a brand new car. Maybe you don't have it. You can go and say, How wonderful you got a brand new car. I'm so happy for you. You got a brand new house. I'm so happy you bought a house. Oh my God, You passed PhD, Your degree. I'm so happy for you. In Buddhist teaching, We call rejoicing together. Make sense? We are enjoying their success with them without having jealous mind. So that quality also will change when you are practicing meditation. Then next one is equanimity equanimity so keep your mind balanced now think about whole world is in balance right everything going like this like a roller coaster when you go roller coaster first time how you feel good excited and good second time is okay third time Same day, Too much. Why? Too much bouncing back and forth. Our life is going bouncing all the time back and forth with what all our thoughts feeling and emotion every day up and down up and down up and down so when you are meditating you recognize your emotion going like a what is the heart what is called in the nurses when you check the heart monitor EKG, Doctors are looking for some levels, Right? But going crazy, They don't like it. So our emotions are going kind of even, Not really big bumps. That means we are calming down, We are settled down. It sounds boring. When you feel sound boring, That means you are looking for what? Excitement. Meditation is not excitement. Make sense? Those are very wonderful qualities. I have a lot to explain. Meditation is not excitement. It is so calm. If somebody comes to you and says, You are so annoying, I hate you, You can say, Thank you. Then actually it's happened to me all the time. So many times people say, Bhante, You are so wonderful, You are so awesome. I say, Thank you. Once in a while, Now think of all the time I hear all the good things, Once in a while if I hear a bad thing. Then it's upset, Right? So now what I was thinking, I think people appreciate me, It's a good thing. If people say bad thing, Also is a good thing. Why? That is the time I can test myself. They are for more than the good, I like to hear bad. So then I can see where I'm at. The next one. When you are practicing meditation, You understand root cause of your problems. What is the root cause of your problem? Can you guess? All the problems we have going through in our life, What is the root? My and mind i call the eye my mind syndrome It's a syndrome. So based on everything is egotistical. I, My and mine. Then you use instead of I always you use what? Instead of my temper. I always you our temple. Then ego is less now. Then you can say, Oh, My ego is less. This each, You know, Quality of what I talk now, I can give each quality one hour talk explanation. Then the last thing is so powerful. Even I talked to Anna about today. When you are meditating, It's a beautiful thing to see and observe as a benefit. You can see everything is cause and condition. If everything is a condition. Everything is changing. Does this make sense? If everything is a condition, What we see is a condition, Our eye is a condition, Eye consciousness also condition. So that means everything is conditioned. If everything is a condition, What is the nature of it? Change. So you understand that. After you understand that, Why worry? Why bother? Just live. So those qualities are really growing little by little every single day in your life. You can see. No need to ask me, Bhante, Where I am at. I don't know. Don't ask me that question. Bhante, After I'm coming to the Blue Lotus Temple 10 years, Where I'm at now? I don't know. If you see these qualities are getting better every single day, You can write your certificate by yourself. I'm doing good. Don't ask me to give you a certificate, Okay? So, Now think about If you want to test yourself, That is the way to test. Otherwise, I cannot test you. I can test you too. I know that. I can do that. But if you can test yourself, That's the best thing. And also, You can test me too. Does it make sense? You can test me, You can say things, You can see how I'm going to react, What I'm going to say. But again, Even when you are practicing loving kindness, Compassion and mindfulness, I'm always reminding people, Don't become a doormat. Makes sense? Don't become a doormat. What my teacher said, Even you are practicing loving-kindness, Compassion and mindfulness, If somebody trying to hurt you or do, It depends on the situation. Be a cobra! What cobra does, Not a toy cobra. Real cobra when you go and touch the cobra Cobra don't bite. Before bite cobra warning you. This is a test. What did that cobra remind you? I'm a cobra, Be careful. Make sense? Before bite, Obrahis. That means stay away. I'm very good with that too. Right? I know how to hiss. But very rarely I do that. But most of the time I'm doing good. I don't want to do that. But when time comes, I do that. Make sense? So therefore, Don't become a doormat either. When time comes, Ready to say it, Say it. But after you say it, Done. Don't carry it rest of your day and life. That is the practice.