Meditation teacher Jessica Amos offers seven easy practices for self-encouragement that help you access the freedom, clarity and joy already inside you.
Self-Encouragement For Letting Go Of External Approval
We come into this world naturally curious, open and embodied in our Beingness. It’s not until we get a bit older that we’re conditioned to look outside ourselves for approval, validation and joy. This inevitably leads to a deep sense of self-doubt about our worthiness, loveliness and goodness. We begin to question our own perceptions, look to other people to meet our needs and ultimately feel like an imposter most of the time.
Despite all this, there’s a place deep inside you – your true self – who knows you are valuable and worthy of love.
It’s an honor to be here with you, in love and kindness, to offer some encouragement for when you doubt yourself. These practices come from my own self-compassion and healing practices. I hope you find them helpful.
7 Practices To Overcome Self-Doubt
1. Trust yourself
“Trust in yourself. Your perceptions are far more accurate than you are willing to believe.” — Claudia Black
Most of us were taught to betray our instincts as small children in order to please the adults in our lives. This causes a lot of pain, doubt and mistrust within ourselves down the road.
When you trust your inner voice and follow your inner guidance, you can lead your life from a place of peace, joy and centeredness.
Betraying yourself to please others, or be who you think they want you to be, will only cause you to feel more doubt. When you are on your own side, you cannot go astray.
Read more: Learn to set compassionate boundaries and how to say no without feeling guilty.
2. Do what you want
Lucille Ball once said,
“I cured myself of shyness when it finally occurred to me that people didn’t think about me half as much as I gave them credit for. The truth was, nobody gave a damn… When I stopped being a prisoner to what I worried was others’ opinion of me, I became confident and free.”
Yes!!
Other people aren’t thinking about you half as much as you think they are. On top of that, it’s none of your business what others think of you. It only matters what you think of you.
So, do what you want. Everyone else is too busy worrying about themselves to give a damn about what you’re up to.
Read more: It’s almost as if self-consciousness is our default mode. This article explores how to stop caring about what others think and take back your personal power.
3. Own your story
“You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours.” – Anne Wilson Schaef
Write down all the things you have done in your life that have led you to now.
All the jobs you’ve had… courses you’ve taken… relationships you’ve been in… roles you’ve played… stuff you’ve created… places you’ve been… sights you’ve seen… love you’ve given… pain you’ve come through… all the Everything’s you’ve experienced and done in your life to this point.
Write down anything and everything that comes to mind.
You’ll be amazed how many lifetimes you’ve lived in your 20, 40, 60+ years. Your life experiences have taught you everything you know.
That makes you an expert on yourself, your life and your experiences. Own it!
Read more: Explore the benefits of writing out your thoughts that can transform your life.
4. Follow your joy
You don’t need to have everything figured out. You don’t need to have all the answers. You don’t need to know what’s next.
All you need to do is ask, “What would bring me joy right now?” Then do that thing.
Curiosity and comparison cannot co-exist. Choose curiosity and there’s no room to feel like a fraud.
Take it from Katharine Hepburn:
“If you do what always pleases you, at least one person is happy.”
If you need help building trust with yourself, accessing your joy or practicing self-encouragement, try these popular meditations by Jessica Amos:
- Grounded In Love Jessica Amos 18:17
- Deep Inner Wisdom Jessica Amos 19:57
- Abounding Joy Meditation Jessica Amos 21:15
- Posture & Breath Jessica Amos 24:57
- Clearing Internal Space Jessica Amos 19:57
- Ritual & Mantra Jessica Amos 20:57
5. Mantras & Affirmations
Here are a few affirmations for self-encouragement you can use as a personal mantra when impostor syndrome starts to take over:
- “I am smart, capable and know what I’m doing.”
- “I am joyful and engaged.”
- “I am curious and open.”
- “I am ready and open to give. I am ready and open to receive.”
- “I am enough, just as I am. Always have been. Always will be.”
- “What’s truly meant for me is unstoppable. It needs me, and I need it.”
- “I trust my instincts and inspirations.”
- “I am good. I am kind. I am compassionate.”
Discover hundreds of guided affirmation meditation practices for self-empowerment and self-encouragement.
6. Be where you are
“Here I am, where I ought to be.” – Louise Erdrich
The past doesn’t exist except as a memory happening in the present moment. The future doesn’t exist except as a thought or projection happening in the present moment.
When you compare yourself to others, worry about the future or ruminate on the past, you are not able to respond to what’s actually happening in the present moment.
If you are interested in learning more about being who you are, where you are, Jessica Amos’ 30-day course for Bringing Presence Into Everyday Life might be a good place to start.
7. Fake it ’til you make it
“When the Soul wants to experience something, she throws out an image in front of her and then steps into it.” – Meister Eckhart
Part of the work of rerouting your neurological pathways is doing things that are foreign to you or outside your comfort zone. Sometimes you need to “act as if” on the outside as a way to influence and guide how you feel on the inside.
It’s not about being phony or dishonest. It’s about choosing your thoughts and actions.
If everything inside you is screaming that you’re not good enough, it’s time to take mindful action and live from what you know to be true: You are good enough. You always have been and always will be.
If you act like it on the outside and make choices that are in alignment with Truth, not fear, eventually you’ll start to feel good enough on the inside too.
Wherever you are today, whatever you are doing, I hope you know how valuable and worthy of love you are. May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease. May you stay with yourself, today and always.
Read more: Explore how to practice self-love every day with the six keys of self-care.
