It's Okay Not To Be Okay - Honoring Tough Times Mindfully

This guided meditation explores deep breath and expanded awareness to find space to process the accumulated stress of current events. The goal of the meditation is to find deep breath to shake up the monotony of latent tension and stress that often goes unchecked in our body-mind and life.

Perfect for this space and time.

Transcript

So why am I mentioning that?

We as a society have forgotten the necessity of tragedy.

What do I mean by that?

Even in the fabled documents of the United States,

The Declaration of Independence,

It says we hold these,

Like,

You know,

Life,

Liberty,

And the pursuit of happiness,

Not the guarantee,

It's the pursuit,

Right?

And in order to pursue happiness,

One might argue that you need to also understand sadness,

And you need to hold space for all things,

Right?

So in our present circumstances,

One of the first meditations I taught in my whole teaching career was just because things are crazy externally doesn't mean that you have to be crazy internally,

And that kind of became a mantra at the beginning of the pandemic.

If it was true in the beginning of the pandemic,

Why can't it be true now?

Right?

I would submit the following things before we get into the guts of our meditation.

One,

We may be exhausted because of recent events and the concomitant nature of the way things have scaffolded on the other,

And we're stronger than we're giving ourselves credit for,

Right?

I'll share the,

I'll also share the following story.

Hi kitty cat.

I'll share the following story.

I had the blessing of spending time with my 94-year-old grandma last week.

I spent 10 hours in the presence of her wisdom and beauty,

And I was like,

Mama,

Have you ever seen anything this crazy in your life?

And y'all,

Her response was,

No.

This woman is a dark-skinned black woman who lives in southern Virginia that grew up in the depression in Jim Crow,

And I asked her if she said anything this crazy.

She was like,

No.

We have a flowery conversational relationship.

We go back and forth.

We trade jokes.

Like,

We snap on each other,

And her response was no.

So two things I learned from that.

One,

Wow.

And two,

She said it with such peace that it gave me life goals,

Right?

She was like,

No,

But not like,

No.

And,

You know,

Part of that is because she's turning 95 years old,

But the second part of that I would submit is that when you've been through some things,

Things pass,

Right?

Things come and go,

And the only thing that you can hold on to or seek to hold on to with regularity is a sense of peace and well-being,

And that is what we are going to do today through breath work and all the things.

So spend the next moment or two settling into whatever that means,

Right?

So if you want to shrug the shoulders,

If you're in an upright seat,

However you find yourself,

Find comfort in your physical body,

A posture that allows you to be relaxed yet alert and comfortable wherever you are.

Maybe you twirl the wrist,

Maybe you make movements in the neck,

But spend the next several moments just settling into your physicality wherever it is,

Noticing where you are and being okay with that.

This time yesterday I had pretty wicked inflammation in my right foot and I wasn't able to walk without pain.

Today it has passed.

So for me not only am I excited about that,

But that's a life lesson,

Right?

So I couldn't do anything else.

I'm not going to do anything else.

I'm not going to do anything else.

I'm not going to do anything else.

So for me not only am I excited about that,

But that's a life lesson,

Right?

So I couldn't do anything yesterday.

That was yesterday.

Today I can do more.

So be present with where you are in this moment.

Soften the gaze,

Upright spine for those in the seat.

If you're not in a seat,

Allow yourself the grace and peace to settle as you are where you are.

So notice the breath.

Notice the body.

Notice the union between the two.

And begin to take a three-part breath with me.

So inhale deeply through the nose.

Fill the belly.

Pause.

Fill the ribs.

Pause.

Fill the upper chest.

Pause.

Exhale totally out the mouth.

Five more just like that.

Deep inhale through the nose.

Fill the belly.

Pause.

Fill the chest.

Pause.

Upper chest.

Pause.

Exhale all out the mouth.

Four more.

Inhale deep through the nose.

Fill the belly.

Pause.

Ribs.

Pause.

Upper chest.

Pause.

Exhale out the mouth.

Three more.

In through the nose.

Fill the belly.

Pause.

Ribs.

Pause.

Upper chest.

Exhale totally out the mouth.

Two.

Inhale fill the belly.

Pause.

Ribs.

Pause.

Upper chest.

Pause.

Release.

Last one.

In through the nose.

Fill the belly.

Pause.

Ribs.

Pause.

Upper chest.

Pause.

Release.

Now begin to settle into a cadence of breath to your liking.

In through the nose.

Out through the nose.

Noticing the effects of the breath work that we just did.

So the lungs move in six directions.

So up,

Down,

Forward,

Back.

They go,

They're three-dimensional,

Right?

And they're bigger than we think they are.

So in the cadence that we just did,

We use the entire,

All the lobes of the lungs.

And the diaphragmatic breathing or viloma pranayama.

And when we pause on the inhale,

I take that as a life lesson,

Right?

So just when things are going out of control,

Just pause.

Deep inhale,

Pause.

Then let it out to clear space in order for you to take a more controlled breath,

Which is what we're doing now.

As you focus on the inhale through the nose,

Use the exhale as a tool to soften the body.

So if the shoulders are crept up towards the ears,

Gently beckon them back and down.

If the jaw is clenched,

Maybe you flutter the lips.

And then resume in through the nose,

Out through the nose.

But in this moment,

At this time,

Begin to use the breath as a tool.

Right?

So if the face is tight,

On the exhale.

If the upper chest is tight,

Clear the throat.

Begin to use the exhale intermittently in different ways as you find stress in the body.

Realizing the tool that the breath can be and that it actually is.

Right?

So we encounter life situations as we do,

Right?

We can't necessarily control external events at all.

The only thing that we can control is our response.

And our response is intimately tied with the breath.

If deep breath is not comfortable for you or available to you,

At least feel grounded and take as deep of a breath as you can.

If deep breath is available to you,

Do not cheapen the breath.

So breathe as deep as you can.

To not only oxygenate the system,

But to use the tool of the exhale to relieve tension in the body,

We all have some level of accumulated stress by virtue of being alive at this time.

Which also has nothing to do with your personal circumstance.

So settle into a cadence here again,

Like I said,

Using the exhale as a tool to shake up the monotony of latent tension and stress that often goes unchecked in our body,

Mind,

And life.

And as you focus on the breath exclusively,

You may notice thoughts form in the mind or pass through the mind or race through the mind.

Notice them as you might clouds in the sky.

Oh,

That's an interesting formation.

And then let it pass.

It may be helpful to name it,

So it could be planning or dread or sadness or snark or victory or whatever.

It could be so many things.

Begin to objectify the thoughts that you have.

And notice that the breath is constant.

Thoughts change.

And if thoughts change,

Perhaps our reaction to circumstance can change as well.

So about another minute or two,

Deep breaths in through the nose,

Out through the nose.

And if there's tension in the face,

Flood of the lips.

If you notice tension in other aspects of the body,

Lion's breath.

And if there's a thought that comes to mind that could be overwhelming,

Name it.

Deepen the breath.

And then with the exhale,

Allow it to pass.

Because when we do this,

When we get into the training of using the breath as a tool of mindful awareness,

We realize that we have more power,

For lack of better terminology,

Than we think that we do.

What do I mean by that?

I've shared this often,

But I'll share it again.

Ten years ago,

I was in the darkest days of my entire existence.

Deaths in the family,

Homelessness,

Unemployment,

Abject poverty,

All the things.

And all I could do was breathe and cry.

And I'm not talking like misty tears,

I mean gut-wrenching,

Like make myself sick sobs.

And what I learned in that experience is that as painful as it was to endure,

It passed.

I grew stronger.

I grew more compassionate.

I grew more aware.

And I offer these tools and those stories in this moment because perhaps you may feel some level of similar experience in this moment.

And if you do,

Just remember that deep breath in,

Deep breath out,

Bear witness to what is happening,

Thoughts and feelings come and go,

Experiences come and go.

What lessons can we learn from them?

And learn to hold space for all.

It all belongs whether we like it or not.

About 30 more seconds here.

Smooth breath in through the nose.

Exhale as you require.

And being okay with whatever emerges,

Knowing that this too shall pass,

Not in a fatalistic or new age sense,

But the two constants in life are death and change.

Everything else is up for discussion.

And while we are alive,

And this is cliché,

But I think it bears repeating,

That we should accept the present with full awareness because it's a gift.

It's not promised.

So learning to be present even when circumstances aren't to your liking gives you,

I would say,

A superpower and the ability to hold space for all things,

Which is another gift as well.

Bottom of the next exhale,

Place hands together in front of the heart for compassion,

In front of the head for wisdom,

Whichever you care to breathe into.

So in front of the heart,

Heart center to breathe in the compassion,

In front of the forehead for wisdom.

Four breaths in through the nose,

Please.

Exhale,

Clear.

Final three breaths as we begin.

Inhale,

Fill the belly,

Fill the ribs,

Fill the chest.

Exhale,

Clear.

Two more.

Inhale through the nose,

Fill the belly,

Ribs,

Chest.

Exhale,

Clear.

Last inhale,

Fill the belly,

Ribs,

Chest.

Exhale,

Clear.

Rub palms together,

Creating some level of friction.

Place the hands anywhere that needs your attention.

So for me,

That's the neck right now.

So those are glasses.

Please remove them.

We'll do that again.

Rub the palms together,

Create friction.

Now rest those heated palms over the eyes.

Give the eyes a gentle massage in both directions with circles,

Thanking them for their service.

Then as you are ready,

Open the eyes into the palms.

See the darkness in the palms.

Lower the palms and notice how darkness becomes light.

Welcome back.

Reviews

Outstanding! 10 stars !! ⭐️ thank you for naming the external situation, thank you for such potent and skillful guidance. 🌟

Most excellent!!

Amazing!

Thank you 🙏 and many blessings.