When you've found a comfortable position,
Cleanse yourself with a big,
Deep inhale.
Release your tension as you exhale.
Inhale and exhale.
Welcome to a hit of hope.
Synonyms are words that can be so similar in meaning that they are considered interchangeable.
However,
Most words have nuances,
So even though they are synonyms,
They might play out differently in our lives.
Two such words are respond and react.
Generally,
When we respond,
We are thought to be more intentional,
More mindful.
When we react,
Well,
That's often when we humans get into so much trouble.
And I bet we can all think of situations when we were in that situation,
Something happened,
And we reacted,
And not in a magnificent way.
Maybe you were in a fight or in a stressful situation at work.
Or maybe you were so sick to death of this new reality,
COVID,
And you said or did something and instantly regretted it.
I recently saw a post on Facebook that read,
A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret.
Yep.
And so darn hard to do.
Because we are human,
And it is far easier to react than to respond,
Especially when we are in a conflict.
In conflict,
Researchers have determined that we tend to react in one of two ways.
The first is with the HOT system.
This is when we let our emotions such as anger and fear,
Hate and sadness take over.
The other is the COLD system.
This is where issues get resolved through objective analysis,
Facts,
And logic.
It might seem like cold is the clear winner,
Right?
And that the cold system is to respond while the hot system is to react.
In general,
Yes,
Things do go better when we are objective because we're able to think through things,
Imagining how our words might be taken or how our reaction might hurt the other person's feelings.
However,
Always reacting with a cold system can be painful too.
We humans have fingers and toes,
We have brains and intestines,
And we have feelings.
All kinds of feelings.
Now if we are ruled by our emotions and if we give them absolute free reign,
That can lead us to react and trouble.
Too much heat in our reactions and things may explode.
But if we never,
Ever feel,
That can create its own harm as well.
Too much cold can turn things into letting them become icy with all kinds of unexpressed emotions and withheld concerns.
Because you see,
It isn't that we don't feel,
It's that we force our feelings and frustrations down deep and pretend that they aren't there.
And that isn't good for us either.
So how do we find that sweet spot between too much hot and too much cold,
Between responding and reacting in our relationships?
We try and play Goldilocks.
As frightening as it may be,
We learn how to feel and express our emotions honestly.
But we also don't get ruled by our emotions.
So we respond in ways that help us take into account the other person.
We talk,
We share,
We think,
We dare,
We listen,
We say sorry if we need to say sorry,
We heal.
I want to be clear.
Our response doesn't have to be perfect because that's impossible.
The idea is,
Can we take a moment?
Can we take a breath?
Can we feel and can we consider?
And from there,
Can we open up,
Bringing our best self to the moment and hoping the other will do the same?
By doing that,
We fully inhabit our human selves and meet someone else's fully human self.
And that's a gift,
A chance for caring and connection,
A chance for grace and love.
Inhale,
Exhale.
Namaste.
