6 Ways We Can Stop The Bad Body Image Epidemic

In this powerful talk, Andrea discusses specific ways to upgrade the ingrained programs that can lead to a bad body image. Learn what you can do to help shift the cultural trend of body image obsession and perfection.

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Andrea Wachter.

I'm a psychotherapist and author,

And I'm also honored to be an Insight Timer teacher.

In my therapy practice,

I enjoy working with many different issues,

But a few in particular have always been especially close to my heart.

These were the ones that I personally battled and overcame.

Body Hatred and the Eating Disorder that Body Hatred led me into.

Body dissatisfaction has reached epidemic levels in our image-obsessed culture,

And I am passionate about doing my part to change that.

I've devoted much of my life to helping people heal from food and body image issues.

I've written three books on these topics,

And I decided to do this talk to propose six ways that we can turn this bad body image epidemic around.

I realize that some of the changes I propose may not be easy to do.

Long-term patterns can be very ingrained,

And most of us are surrounded by very unhealthy and confusing messages.

But the suggestions I pose to you today are goals that we can all strive for.

And if we begin to upgrade our body image programs and strict food rules,

We can make things better,

Not only for ourselves,

But for future generations as well.

We have enough to deal with in the world without having to spend time lost in body disapproval and food obsession.

Before I dive into my tips,

I'd like to share a bit about my story.

I first started hating my body when I was 12 years old.

Before that,

I really didn't give my body too much thought.

I was simply in my body being a kid.

But then I got teased about the size of my thighs,

And my entire sense of okayness and my relationship with food took a complete nosedive.

I know that some kids may have taken the teasing in stride,

But for me,

It was a dart in the heart moment,

And I took it very hard.

My solution to the pain and shame that I felt was to go on my very first diet.

This was easy enough to do since both my mom and my older sister were already dieting.

So I joined the club,

And I began to eat tasteless diet food in front of my family and friends,

And then make up for it when I was alone.

I should mention that the bad body image,

Dieting,

And sneak eating programs were fully downloaded into my home at this point.

My mom hated her body and was dieting for as long as I can remember.

And my dad was convinced that if my sister and I were thin,

We would be happier and have better lives.

I don't blame my parents for any of the messages they passed on.

They caught the lookism and dieting spell from the culture in the same way that so many of us did.

It's like catching a cold or the flu.

They caught it,

And they innocently passed it on.

So back to my first diet.

Like most people,

Dieting led me to overeating,

And like many people,

It escalated into a full-blown eating disorder.

I was not exactly a big fan of moderation back then,

So I took an innocent trip down the road of yo-yo dieting and turned into a full-blown,

Full-time,

Unpaid career of bulimia.

In addition to bulimia,

I drank excessively,

Used drugs,

And smoked a pack and a half of cigarettes a day.

Like I said,

I was not a big fan of moderation back then.

It feels now like I'm talking about a different person when I think of the ways I treated my body.

But I was in pain,

And I needed to mask the pain until I eventually got the willingness,

Courage,

And help to heal it.

So for years,

I basically had two modes.

I was either eating low-carb and low-fat and exercising in ways I didn't even necessarily enjoy,

Or I was binging on everything I never let myself eat.

I was basically in prison or in full-blown rebellion.

I refer to this now as the diet riot rollercoaster.

And then there was my thinking.

Oh dear,

I was basically an unkind mind with limbs.

I remember being in some of the most beautiful places on the planet and being much more concerned with the fact that my thighs were rubbing together,

Or about what I just ate,

Or what someone else was eating,

Than I was with the beauty around me.

I tried every diet that I had heard of,

Convinced that that would be the answer to all my problems.

I tried powders and shakes and fasting.

I even tried moving from New York,

Where I was raised,

To the West Coast,

Thinking I could leave my problems behind.

But since my problem was largely my thinking,

It all came with me.

I lived in Colorado till it got too cold.

I moved to Arizona till it got too hot.

And then somehow I landed in California.

And it was there that I finally began looking for help that went deeper than a new diet,

A new exercise routine,

Or a change of location.

I joined my very first support group,

And I met others who struggled and searched in the same ways that I did.

I learned how to tune into my internal hunger and fullness signals,

And how to distinguish my natural cravings from emotional ones.

I learned how to eat one or two cookies instead of none or the entire box.

I learned how to move my body in ways that I loved and rest without an ounce of guilt.

I learned how to deal with painful emotions and that they were a normal and natural part of being human.

And I learned,

And am still learning,

To question rather than believe every thought that pops up on the screen of my mind.

That was over 30 years ago,

And I still consider myself blessed to be able to share with others everything that helped me climb out of the pit of obsession,

Compulsion,

Depression,

And anxiety.

Over the last few decades,

The majority of my clients have been teens and adults with an occasional young child.

But over the last several years,

I began to notice a very disturbing trend.

As our social media began to grow,

The age range of my clients began to get younger.

So instead of seeing an occasional 9 or 10 year old in the course of a year,

I started seeing young kids regularly.

Can you imagine a 6 year old who hates their body?

Or a 7 year old child refusing to get dressed for school in the morning or put on a bathing suit?

Or an 8 year old who's obsessed with getting 6 pack abs and refusing to eat carbs?

Who among us even knew what carbs,

Fats,

Or 6 pack abs were when we were 6,

7,

And 8?

As I saw that this bad body image epidemic was striking more and more young children,

I realized our kids are not going to change until we change.

Children are not born thinking that fat,

Carbs,

Or gluten are bad.

Or that they need to work out in order to burn calories.

They learn it,

Just like we learned all our rules and restrictions.

We learned it from the culture,

So there are no bad guys here.

But now kids are learning it from the culture and from us.

So what can we do?

How can we turn this epidemic around?

Well,

I'm glad you asked.

I'd like to propose 6 things that we can all do or stop doing to upgrade our culture's obsession with perfection.

So if you'd like to pause the recording and grab a pen and paper,

I'll wait here.

Okay,

Tip number 1.

Stop fat chat.

Fat chat is the term I use for speaking negatively about fat.

And there are a few aspects to this.

First,

Can we all agree to stop talking negatively about fat?

On bodies and in food?

All this does is cause and contribute to fear,

Obsession,

And rebellion.

And it leaves most people either avoiding fats or overdoing them because they feel so deprived.

Another aspect of fat chat is using the phrase,

I feel fat.

What if we all decided to ban that phrase?

First of all,

Fat is not even a feeling.

It's an essential food group,

And it provides cushion for our bones,

Warmth for our bodies,

And flavor to our food.

The phrase,

I feel fat,

Keeps people from discovering and addressing their true feelings,

Which then takes them further from uncovering their true needs.

Another aspect of fat chat is talking about how good or bad you are according to what you ate or how much you exercised.

How about saying you enjoyed or didn't enjoy your meal or dessert,

As opposed to it being good or bad or too high in fat or calories?

And finally,

On the topic of fat chat,

If you notice someone lost or gained weight,

How about simply saying it's good to see you instead of commenting on their weight?

We actually have no idea what's going on for most people when their weight changes.

They might be emotionally struggling.

They might be physically ill,

Or they might have an eating disorder or be recovering from an eating disorder.

There's so many factors,

And it just is most helpful if we stop commenting on people's weight.

These are all examples of how you can stop fat chat.

Tip number two,

Stop dieting.

Whether you are on an official diet or you just think of food in terms of good and bad,

Dieting is a setup for obsession and rebellion.

The diet industry promises us that whatever plan,

Book,

Or food combination they are selling,

It will help us with our overeating problem.

But what they don't tell us is that the diet itself is actually part of the problem.

Dieting leads most people to overeating.

Dieting is the number one reason why people overeat.

Let's all work together on finding a balance between the prison of restriction and the rioting of supersizing.

Practice tuning into your natural physical hunger signals and then eating delicious,

Nutritious foods and learning to stop eating when you feel comfortably satisfied.

And if you have trouble doing that,

You can reach out for support.

Tip number three,

Stop judging appearances.

It's far too common to make assumptions and judgments about another person based on what you see.

But in truth,

We have no idea how healthy or happy someone is based on their appearance.

How about we ban terms like obese,

Overweight,

And underweight?

Over and under what weight?

We have no idea what another person is supposed to weigh.

People are either genetically predisposed to look the way they do,

Or they may be dealing with factors that contribute to their current appearance,

Or their size may be a symptom of emotional struggles,

In which case they need compassion,

Not criticism.

We are not all supposed to look the same or look like the media tells us to look.

We all have natural shapes and weight ranges that our bodies settle into when we treat them respectfully.

When you see other people,

Assume that you have no idea if they are healthy or not based on their appearance,

And send them the same well wishes you would hope to receive from them.

Tip number four,

Manage media.

What if we all refused to buy magazines or look at websites that feature emaciated,

Unrealistic-looking models or that advertise the latest diets and weight loss schemes?

Let's stop reading articles and responding to ads that teach and preach extreme and unhealthy ideas about food,

Fitness,

And physiques.

And while we're at it,

How about writing to the editors before we ban these magazines and websites and letting them know we are signing off until they make a change?

Let's also screen the programs,

Websites,

And magazines that our kids are looking at,

And treat dieting,

Extreme fitness,

And proanorexia sites the same way we would porn sites.

Tip number five,

Early prevention.

If you see your child restricting certain food groups or over-exercising,

Binging,

Or struggling with body image,

Take action the same way you would if you found out that they were using drugs.

The sooner you treat body image disturbances and disordered eating,

The lower the chances of them blooming into full-blown disorders.

Get your child professional help if needed and teach them everything that you are learning.

And of course,

The more naturally and casually that you eat all food groups in moderation and appreciate your body and all body sizes,

The more likely it is that your child will follow in your healthy footsteps.

And finally,

Tip number six,

Stop laughing at or telling fat jokes.

Our culture is obsessed with looks because we have been programmed to think that thin is better than fat.

But this program is false and it can be deleted.

Some of the sickest and most internally tortured people I know are thin.

And I know people of varying sizes who are healthy and at peace.

Fat jokes cause shame for people who are large and pressure and fear for people who are not.

Okay,

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.

So how about if we all strive for peace of mind instead of a certain number on the scale?

If we can say no to racism and homophobia and child abuse and animal cruelty,

We can say no to fat chat,

Body hatred,

Extreme dieting and binging.

We can tell our children all day long that they are beautiful just the way they are.

But if they hear us trash talking bodies or food choices,

It's these comments that will have the most impact.

Our kids are listening to us and we are all listening and learning from each other.

So can we all agree to stop berating our bodies and start appreciating them for what they do for us?

Can we stop dieting and restricting and learn how to eat real,

Delicious foods and allow our body's wisdom to tell us when we've had enough?

Can we learn to move our bodies in ways that we love and rest when we need to?

Can we learn to reach out for support when we're filled with emotions rather than stuff them down with excess food,

Diets,

Drugs,

Alcohol or excessive screen time?

Let's all upgrade the soundtracks in our minds and speak kinder to ourselves.

Let's change the conversations we're having with each other about fats,

Carbs,

Calories,

Gluten and weight to deeper topics.

And how about we all commit to finding sweetness and fulfillment in our lives rather than from excess food or the fantasy of weight loss?

These are my hopes for you and for the children in our lives.

And may we all live healthily ever after.

Reviews

I’m a 64 year old woman who has struggled with body image my entire life and go in and out of food obsession. I’m especially bad right now. This was just what I needed. Thank you!

Thank you. This important information will be shared!

Thank you Andrea for another great talk. Especially the examples and alternative ways we can be mindful for everyone. 🙏

It’s great to hear such sane and beautiful words on this topic. Very helping on the way to healing. And yes! Let’s spread these words ❤️

An invaluable talk. Some very good tips that will help me back on the right path. Thankyou!

This is such an important topic! Thank you for the inspiration, I never thought of associating this problem with porn, drugs, racism and homophobia. A very powerful message to share. In gratitude

This is so outstandingly done! Literally EVERYONE should listen to this. ❤️

This was great!
Thanks for covering the topic with such kindness

Just perfect. I know I will return to this talk again and again because it was so helpful. I'm not quite ready to take on board all 6 steps but I am totally committed to recovery from my 28 year eating disorder and this talk will be a valuable tool. Thank you so much.

Excellent talk. So important to learn and grow in this area. Thank you.

Excellent 🌟⭐️✨💫 suggestions Andrea, thank you. 💖🌸

That was so inspiring! Exactly what I needed to hear for my recovery!

Stupendous!! We need to change our conversation and mindset around food and our bodies. Thank you!!

Amazing as usual 🙏💗

Thankyou so much Andrea very happy to have found you 🙏🏻

Thank you for the important work you are doing. The value to this is beyond words.

Amazing I have changed and understood more from my actions from this session..🙏🏽🙏🏽

Thank you for those very considerate and compassionate words. I had not thought about my weight and dieting from this perspective, quite and eye opening talk.

Thank you! These are great tips. Wish I’d had them sooner.