Living Generously: 12 Ways To Alleviate Loneliness

Research shows that giving increases happiness in both the giver and the receiver. Today's podcast will provide you with 12 ways to give, and live with a generous heart, and build connection, as you do.

Transcript

Hi,

This is Theresa Conte.

Today I'd like to talk to you about living generously and how doing so not only helps to build a sense of connection but also helps to alleviate loneliness,

Something many people in the world are experiencing today.

We'll also look at 12 different ways to live from a generous spirit,

But first I'd like to share a quote by Maya Angelou.

She said,

I have found that among its other benefits,

Giving liberates the soul of the giver.

True and wise words indeed because research shows that giving increases happiness in both the giver and the receiver.

For instance,

Let's do a little experiment.

I invite you to close your eyes and think of a time you felt inspired to give someone a gift.

No expectations of anything in return,

Just giving for the joy of doing so.

Didn't have to be on any special occasion.

Now as you play that scene out in your mind's eye,

Take a moment to notice how you feel.

For instance,

What sensations does it bring up in your body?

Perhaps you feel a sense of expansion,

Or joy,

Calmness,

Or peace,

Or perhaps a sense of feeling fully alive and present.

On the flip side,

Many of us find it easier to give than to receive.

We may shut down if someone tries to give us a gift.

Even a compliment can lead to feeling uncomfortable.

I remember in my early days before I did my own work around this issue,

If someone gave me a compliment it would be really hard to accept.

And then I learned a simple tool and that was just to say thank you regardless of how I might have been feeling.

I used it as a practice and after a while it became natural and I was actually able to allow that compliment to sink down deep inside of me.

So now if receiving a gift is hard for you,

I'd like you once again to close your eyes if that's comfortable and imagine someone gifting you.

Again,

It doesn't have to be anything grand.

It can even be a compliment.

And as you play that scene out in your mind's eye,

Once again pay attention to how you feel in your body.

Notice any change in your breathing for instance,

Or what the sensation is in your chest as if there's a sense of constriction or if your chest feels open.

When you're ready you can open your eyes.

Living generously helps us build connection and as a way to care and feel cared about,

Which are essential human needs.

And best of all,

Living generously doesn't require a large expenditure.

In fact,

It can cost little to nothing.

Whether you're living in your hometown and you've been there your entire life,

Have moved to a new neighborhood,

Or even living in a new country,

Living generously can increase your sense of happiness and lead to new connections.

Here are 12 ways to build connection and alleviate loneliness.

Perhaps you'll come up with other ideas at the end of today's podcast or even as I'm speaking.

If so,

I invite you to pause the talk and write them down.

So now here we go.

Number one,

Spend time with people you love and care about.

If time is tight,

Even meeting for coffee or a short walk can let people know that you care and create feelings of joy and connection.

Number two,

Call or write someone who lives at a distance.

A brief call to say,

Hey I'm thinking of you,

Can brighten someone's day and can make us feel loved and cared about in return.

Number three,

Give gifts of time,

Caring,

And support.

For instance,

Consider helping someone with errands.

I remember some time ago there was an elderly woman crossing the street who was carrying a couple of bags of groceries.

I saw her struggling and went up to her in the middle of the street and offered to help her.

She accepted and I walked her to her home,

Which was about five or ten minutes away,

And as I brought the bags of groceries up the steps and put them into her apartment,

She had the biggest smile on her face.

She actually offered to pay me,

Which I of course refused.

My payment was walking away feeling so happy and fulfilled.

So even something like that can be an amazing way to brighten someone's day and lead to our own sense of inner fulfillment and happiness.

Number four,

Bake your favorite cake or buy some cookies and invite someone over for coffee.

Number five,

Tell those you care about you love them.

You may think they know,

But hearing it drops the message down to a deeper more significant level.

I know we may feel vulnerable expressing ourselves this way depending on who we're telling,

But when we take the actions and allow ourselves to stretch and grow,

We provide an opportunity and a space for other people to do the same.

So as we heal,

We never heal alone.

As we give,

We also receive.

Number six,

Use your creative abilities.

For instance,

Write someone a poem,

Paint them a picture,

Or give someone with a special photo.

It doesn't even have to be something you created.

It could be a poem that makes you think of them,

Something you think they'll enjoy,

Or a photo that you find inspiring.

You might like to attach a note letting them know why you're sharing that image or that photo with them.

There are many ways to use our creative abilities.

Number seven,

Do you like children?

If so,

You can offer to give someone a free night out and babysit their kids,

Or find another alternative like taking their kids to the playground,

Buying them an ice cream,

Giving their parents a little bit of a break.

A few months ago,

As I was in the supermarket,

I ran into someone that I know who teaches English in a middle school here in Trieste,

Italy.

I hadn't seen her in a few years.

I'd been to her English language class some time ago as a way to show up and support her and have a fun time interacting with the kids.

She asked me if I'd like to visit her classroom again,

And I immediately said yes.

The act of giving opens us to a sphere of possibilities and opportunities that serve as a blessing,

Not only to those we're gifting,

But to us as well.

I had a fabulous time with the kids talking about travel and their interest,

What inspires them,

What they like to do,

And my friend and I went out for coffee afterwards.

It was really quite a beautiful experience.

Number eight,

If you're good at organizing,

Perhaps you can help someone clear out their closets,

Organize their garage,

Or reduce their clutter.

If you were living here in Trieste,

I might ask for your help in paring down the bulk of papers I need to sort through.

That's one of my personal challenges.

Number nine,

Know someone who's going out of town.

Even taking in the mail or offering to feed their cat can be a significant blessing and help you feel a deeper sense of connection with not only the person but with their animal.

Number ten,

If you're part of a group,

It could be a dance class,

It could be a language class,

It could be perhaps chatting with some of your neighbors.

Why not invite them over for a potluck dinner and get to know each other a little bit better.

Number eleven,

If you're tech savvy,

You can offer to help someone who's struggling with a software issue or a computer-related project.

Number twelve,

Most importantly,

Let people know you appreciate them.

Gratitude is an amazing practice.

When you tell someone you appreciate them,

Be specific and tell them why.

The information lets them know exactly what you're grateful for and makes it more meaningful.

And as a closing note,

Don't take it personally if someone refuses your offer to help in some way.

It's not about you,

It's something going on with them.

So choose someone else and try again.

I'm wishing you very happy giving.

May you feel a deep sense of connection as you embark on this new opportunity.