Coping with Trauma: Tips on Moving Forward

My name is Asha Alexander.

I'm a licensed clinical social worker.

I work with LGBTQ youth and young people.

Today we're going to talk about trauma.

There are many forms of trauma,

Intimate trauma and collective trauma.

Intimate forms of trauma can be conflict with your partner or your family members,

Physical or verbal abuse.

Experiencing fighting in your home,

Divorce in your family,

Homelessness,

And even financial problems.

Some examples of collective trauma would be natural disasters,

War,

And even a pandemic.

Trauma can pass along from one generation to another.

There are many examples of this.

I think one that's very simple that I can talk about personally for myself is being a black woman.

I have family who are from down south who know about sundown towns.

And so even though I have never in my life experienced a sundown town,

There was a real feeling of when I go into a town that I don't know,

All of a sudden,

Maybe my heart is beating faster.

Maybe I start to sweat.

We also see this phenomenon with folks who have parents and family members who have survived the Holocaust.

There are some images and experiences that they can kind of see or feel or smell.

And all of a sudden they are having all of the symptoms of being in a traumatic event,

Even though they have never experienced it because it is passed down.

Let's say you experience a traumatic event.

Something you can notice is that you have a desire to isolate.

Your body feels different.

You're having very different thoughts than you usually have.

It can look a various number of ways,

And it's different for every body.

Some people experience nightmares.

Some people start to sweat when they go somewhere that's familiar to the trauma they experience.

Some people just have a feeling of hopelessness.

When we experience things that are scary or maybe we feel like our lives are in danger,

One of the biggest senses that can kind of really heighten our feeling of danger is feeling like we have no control of what's happening.

Feeling out of control can make your body feel like it's in danger,

Even when it's not.

A lot of the work around trauma and helping someone heal from trauma is about re-engaging the relationship with your body.

If you feel like you have experienced a traumatic event,

One of the best ways you can get support is by just first acknowledging that something scary happened to you.

We experience things that are scary all the time,

But it's the frequency of having really traumatic events,

Scary events,

Events where we think our lives are in danger over and over again.

If all of a sudden you were having thoughts of hopelessness or feeling like you go to certain places and you're feeling really anxious all of a sudden,

And it wasn't like that before the traumatic event,

That is a sign that you need to open up,

Find a safe person,

Find a support group,

A professional talk to someone.

You want to find someone who is safe and affirming and who will listen to you and also help direct you to a professional who can support you.

The thing that I always say is that it is not your fault what happened to you,

But it is our responsibility and our human promise to care for ourselves and explore all the ways we need to thrive and have a healthy and happy life.

You deserve goodness.

You deserve to feel safe.

And that begins by you first believing that.