Tonight.
We are going to talk about that feeling of being late for your own life.
You probably know what I mean.
On your birthday.
Instead of feeling happy.
Something tightens inside.
You come across the name of someone your age.
With the house.
The job.
And the children.
And in the evening.
When nothing keeps you busy anymore.
The list of everything you have not done comes back up all by itself.
Where does that come from?
We all have a kind of calendar in our minds.
And age to finish your studies.
And age for a stable job.
An age to meet someone.
And an age for a place of your own.
No one ever wrote it down.
And yet we all know it.
We catch it in our family.
At school.
And on screens.
Where everyone shows what they have obtained.
But not how long it took.
So your mind compares where you are with where you think you should be.
And it calls that being late.
Tonight,
I am not suggesting that you catch up on anything at all.
Only that you make peace with time.
It has not worked against you.
And what you believe you have missed.
Was in the process of ripening.
Let's return to this moment.
And to your own inner space.
The meditation is about to begin.
Start by closing your eyes.
Let them close by themselves.
They have worked all day.
Tonight?
They are the first to rest.
Listen to your breathing.
It continues on its own while you are listening to me.
It is your body's first clock.
It has been beating since your first day.
And it has not been late by a single second.
At the very bottom of your throat.
Where the air comes in.
A warmth begins.
It is very small.
Like the first ember in a fire that has just been lit.
It is going to spread everywhere.
It rises into the upper part of your chest.
Under your collarbones.
Your ribs open a little more with each inhalation.
This chest tightens when a date is approaching.
Around number age.
A year's end.
Tonight no one is asking anything of it.
The warmth passes into your shoulders.
They drop one notch.
Than another.
Weight they were holding flows down into the mattress.
Your neck lets itself be supported.
It rises up to your jaw.
This jaw closes silently when the list comes back up in the evening.
The warmth enters and loosens it.
Like a fist that you uncurl after keeping it clenched all day.
Your cheeks soften.
Your eyelids grow heavy.
Your forehead widens.
All the way back behind your ears.
With each inhalation.
The warmth takes up a little more space.
With each exhalation.
Your body weighs a little more.
It moves back down into your arms.
Which become heavy.
Your elbows open.
Your wrists give way.
The warmth fills your hands.
And your fingers uncurl one by one.
Like those of someone who has finished counting.
It returns to the center.
It passes through the hollow of your stomach.
That place that knots up when you redo your calculations.
The knot resists for a moment.
Then it gives way.
Your belly rounds with each breath.
The lower part of your back gives its weight back to the mattress.
Then it flows into your legs.
Let your thighs become wide and warm.
Your knees are not.
Your calves release what they have been carrying.
These legs have walked fast.
Even on days when nothing was urgent.
Tonight.
They have arrived.
Your ankles loosen.
The warmth reaches the soles of your feet.
Your toes relax.
One by one.
With each inhalation.
Your body lengthens just a little.
With each exhalation.
It sinks a little deeper.
Now feel your whole body as one single piece.
It settles.
All of its weight flows into the mattress.
From your heels to your neck.
And the bed receives it completely.
Every muscle has finished its day.
Nothing is holding on anywhere.
Your body is completely relaxed.
And it has nowhere to go.
No time to keep.
And in this relaxation.
Allow your unconscious to open.
It can finally open.
And now.
Imagine on your inner screen.
A very large tree in the middle of a field?
There is only the tree.
The tall grass.
And the sky.
No one needs to hurry.
It is taller than you thought.
Walk toward it.
The dry grass crackles under your steps.
It comes up to your waist.
And it parts in front of your legs.
It leaves seeds on your trousers.
The air smells of warm earth and straw.
A grasshopper leaps in front of your foot.
And falls back farther away.
You come closer.
The ground becomes harder.
Packed by the roots.
You step into the tree's shade.
And it is suddenly cooler.
The sound of the insects drops a little here.
Walk around the trunk to find the right side.
There is one side where the bark is smoother.
Hollowed out exactly at the height of a bag.
Place your hand on it.
It is warm.
It has kept the sun of the afternoon.
Sit down and take the time to settle in.
Your shoulders find their place against the wood.
A root passes under your thigh.
So you shift a little.
And your back rests more comfortably.
The light passes through the leaves and lands on your arms in small patches that move.
And this afternoon.
Is going to last.
In the distance,
Someone appears in the light and walks toward you.
You first see the way they walk.
Than their hands.
Than their face.
It is time.
It has no age.
Its face changes with the light.
For a moment it has a very young face.
With plenty of things to do.
The next moment.
A very old face.
That nothing surprises anymore.
It is wearing a loose garment in the color of the hours.
The pale gold of midday.
And the russet of just before evening.
It smiles as it walks.
Like someone who has known you for a long time.
It comes up beside you.
And looks at the field for a moment.
Standing next to you.
Then it places a hand on the trunk.
Bends its knees.
And sits down against the same bark.
It takes a very long time to do so.
You hear the grass being crushed beneath it.
A bee flies between you.
And then goes back toward the field.
Then it holds out its hand.
Palm open.
Place yours in it.
It turns your hand over gently in its own.
Its skin is dry and warm.
Then it places two fingers on your wrist.
Where you would take your pulse.
It waits.
You wait with it.
It takes a few seconds and then you feel it.
A small regular beat under its fingers.
This beat is yours.
It was already beating while you slept.
You then understand that this beat and time are the same thing.
It has not been running after you.
It lays your hand back down on the grass and leaves it there.
You then notice that your other arm is busy.
You have been holding something from the beginning.
Pressed tight against your belly.
Under this tree.
It has taken on a shape.
A heavy bundle.
Warm from having been carried for so long.
Look at what is inside.
The lateness accumulated year after year.
The list of what you have not done.
And the lives of others.
Which you have placed next to your own to measure yourself.
Time is not asking anything of you.
It leans in close to you and brushes the grass aside.
With the flat of its hand in two or three gestures.
Between two large roots?
There is a hollow.
The earth there is fresh and loose.
Full of what has fallen from the tree for centuries.
Leaves.
Bark.
And fruit.
It smells of damp earth.
An insect crosses the hollow and disappears underneath.
The tree has fed on all that.
And turned it into wood.
Time looks at you and waits.
It shows you the place and it gives you all the time you need.
So place the bundle down gently.
First,
Loosen your forearm.
Feel the weight pass into your hand.
Then lean over to the side and let it slide down into the hollow between the roots.
It goes down by itself at the end.
It touches the fresh earth and stops there.
Stay leaning over for a moment.
This place has been receiving things for a very long time.
And a little more does not bother it.
Then sit back up.
Feel your arm,
Now that it is free.
It rises a little all on its own.
Your belly unfolds where the bundle was pressing.
Air passes between your arm and your ribs.
And that place feels cool.
And the grass closes again over it.
Time turns its head toward the field.
And you follow its gaze.
The tree's shadow has moved while you were sitting there.
And you did not see it happen.
It has moved forward all the same.
Then it lifts its eyes toward the branches.
And you lift yours with it.
Between the leaves.
Heavy fruits are hanging at the end of their stems.
They needed the whole season.
Including the days when nothing seemed to be happening.
Nothing has been lost for you either.
What you believe you have missed was ripening.
Time places its hand flat in the grass beside it.
And taps twice to show you a place.
Someone is already sitting there.
Against the same bark.
It is you in a year's time.
Look at her.
What has changed in her body?
Her jaw stays loose while she looks at the field.
Her breath drops all the way down without her thinking about it.
Her hands are open in the grass.
And they are not holding anything.
What has changed around her in a year?
Her face.
A little more rested in the morning.
The clothes she has chosen without hurrying.
And that thing she started that year.
When she believed she was too far behind for it.
And look at how she takes up space.
She is sitting broadly.
Her legs stretched out in front of her.
She is not looking at the time.
When a sound crosses the field.
She turns her head.
She takes the time to look.
And feel that this is already on its way.
That year has already begun.
Let this image go.
Let the visualization fade away.
Now the light stretches out.
It moves out from under the leaves in long,
Warm bands that cross the field.
From one end to the other.
Each time you think it is going to fade?
It stretches again.
And becomes a little more golden.
The sun has stopped at the height of the branches.
And it stays there.
Evening can wait.
The tree's shadow stretches with it.
It leaves the field.
Passes through the window.
Reaches your bed.
And settles on your legs.
Warm and calm.
The field has come to you.
Or your bed has gone to the field.
No one is surprised by that here.
And meanwhile.
.
.
The tree remembers in your place.
That is its job and it does it well.
Your years enter its wood one by one.
And arrange themselves in rings.
In order or out of order.
It does not matter.
The year when you held on without anyone seeing.
The year when you were sure you were wasting your time.
The year when nothing happened.
And that was preparing the rest.
They are there.
In the warm thickness of the trunk against your back.
Kept safe.
And they get along well with one another.
You have nothing left to hold on to.
Someone else is keeping the dates.
The ages.
And the lists.
And has been doing that for centuries.
Above your head the fruits have filled with afternoons.
They weigh entire hours at the end of their stems.
When one of them comes free and falls into the grass.
It does not break.
It makes a puddle of warm light.
And it stays there.
The field is covered with them.
From one end to the other.
There are some even under your pillow.
You are holding one in your hand without knowing how.
The trunk against your back is breathing very slowly.
About one inhalation per hour.
You follow it without thinking.
And your breath lengthens until it is as long as the tree A's.
You are ripening too.
Your sleep is ripening.
It takes its time.
It thickens.
It rises up through your feet.
Your legs.
Your neck.
It has the taste of a late afternoon that will not fade.
There is nothing to finish tonight.
Nothing to catch up on.
You only have to last.
And you are already doing that very well.
Lasting in this light that keeps on stretching.
And that holds you.
And if you are not asleep yet.
Repeat the following positive affirmations.
Until you fall asleep.
I feel deeply in my right place in the time that is passing.
Time moves forward with me.
At my rhythm and for me.
I fully acknowledge the path I have already walked.
Each night.
My body learns the feeling of being on time.
I am building a calm and trusting relationship with time.
I leave behind the idea that my life should go faster.
I choose a new story.
Made of patience and trust.
I feel free to live according to my own calendar.
Each year of my existence has built something within me.
I trust my natural ability to let things ripen.
I look at my life with clarity.
Calm.
And kindness.
I feel supported by time and by my own abilities.
Each day my inner peace grows deeper.
I deserve a life that takes the time it needs.
I receive with gratitude everything this year has brought me.
I move forward with confidence from a quiet inner space.
Comparisons return to their rightful place within me.
I keep the strength of what I have been through,
And I choose lightness.
I transform my impatience into trust and clarity.
I feel free to move forward differently from others.
My progress can be simple.
Natural.
And peaceful.
I see all around me everything that is growing and taking its time.
My projects grow with steadiness and wisdom.
I make my decisions from a place of calm.
My chest remains supple and peaceful.
When I think about my age.
I trust my ability to go through every stage of my life.
I allow myself to fully enjoy where I am right now.
I let serenity take root deeply in my life.
During my sleep.
My unconscious strengthens my peace with time.
I fall asleep in the deep certainty.
That everything happens at the right moment.
I feel deeply in my right place in the time that is passing.
Time moves forward with me.
At my rhythm and for me.
I fully acknowledge the path I have already walked.
Each night.
My body learns the feeling of being on time.
I am building a calm and trusting relationship with time.
I leave behind the idea that my life should go faster.
I choose a new story.
Made of patience and trust.
I feel free to live according to my own calendar.
Each year of my existence has built something within me.
I trust my natural ability to let things ripen.
I look at my life with clarity.
Calm.
And kindness.
I feel supported by time and by my own abilities.
Each day my inner peace grows deeper.
I deserve a life that takes the time it needs.
I receive with gratitude everything this year has brought me.
I move forward with confidence from a quiet inner space.
Comparisons return to their rightful place within me.
I keep the strength of what I have been through,
And I choose lightness.
I transform my impatience into trust and clarity.
I feel free to move forward differently from others.
My progress can be simple.
Natural.
And peaceful.
I see all around me everything that is growing and taking its time.
My projects grow with steadiness and wisdom.
I make my decisions from a place of calm.
My chest remains supple and peaceful.
When I think about my age.
I trust my ability to go through every stage of my life.
I allow myself to fully enjoy where I am right now.
I let serenity take root deeply in my life.
During my sleep.
My unconscious strengthens my peace with time.
I fall asleep in the deep certainty.
That everything happens at the right moment.
I feel deeply in my right place in the time that is passing.
Time moves forward with me.
At my rhythm and for me.
I fully acknowledge the path I have already walked.
Each night.
My body learns the feeling of being on time.
I am building a calm and trusting relationship with time.
I leave behind the idea that my life should go faster.
I choose a new story.
Made of patience and trust.
I feel free to live according to my own calendar.
Each year of my existence has built something within me.
I trust my natural ability to let things ripen.
I look at my life with clarity.
Calm.
And kindness.
I feel supported by time and by my own abilities.
Each day my inner peace grows deeper.
You I deserve a life that takes the time it needs.
I receive with gratitude everything this year has brought me.
I move forward with confidence from a quiet inner space.
Comparisons return to their rightful place within me.
I keep the strength of what I have been through.
And I choose lightness.
I transform my impatience into trust and clarity.
I feel free to move forward differently from others.
My progress can be simple.
Natural.
And peaceful.
I see all around me everything that is growing and taking its time.
My projects grow with steadiness and wisdom.
I make my decisions from a place of calm.
You My chest remains supple and peaceful.
When I think about my age.
I trust my ability to go through every stage of my life.
I allow myself to fully enjoy where I am right now.
I let serenity take root deeply in my life.
During my sleep.
My unconscious strengthens my peace with time.
I fall asleep in the deep certainty.
That everything happens at the right moment.
I feel deeply in my right place in the time that is passing.
Time moves forward with me.
At my rhythm and for me.
I fully acknowledge the path I have already walked.
Each night.
My body learns the feeling of being on time.
I am building a calm and trusting relationship with time.
I leave behind the idea that my life should go faster.
I choose a new story.
Made of patience and trust.
I feel free to live according to my own calendar.
Each year of my existence has built something within me.
I trust my natural ability to let things ripen.
I look at my life with clarity.
Calm.
And kindness.
I feel supported by time and by my own abilities.
Each day my inner peace grows deeper.
I deserve a life that takes the time it needs.
I receive with gratitude everything this year has brought me.
I move forward with confidence from a quiet inner space.
Comparisons return to their rightful place within me.
I keep the strength of what I have been through.
And I choose lightness.
I transform my impatience into trust and clarity.
I feel free to move forward differently from others.
My progress can be simple.
Natural.
And peaceful.
I see all around me everything that is growing and taking its time.
My projects grow with steadiness and wisdom.
I make my decisions from a place of calm.
My chest remains supple and peaceful.
When I think about my age.
I trust my ability to go through every stage of my life.
I allow myself to fully enjoy where I am right now.
I let serenity take root deeply in my life.
During my sleep.
My unconscious strengthens my peace with time.
I fall asleep in the deep certainty.
That everything happens at the right moment.
I feel deeply in my right place in the time that is passing.
Time moves forward with me.
At my rhythm and for me.
I fully acknowledge the path I have already walked.
Each night.
My body learns the feeling of being on time.
I am building a calm and trusting relationship with time.
I leave behind the idea that my life should go faster.
I choose a new story.
Made of patience and trust.
I feel free to live according to my own calendar.
Each year of my existence has built something within me.
I trust my natural ability to let things ripen.
I look at my life with clarity.
Calm.
And kindness.
I feel supported by time and by my own abilities.
Each day my inner peace grows deeper.
I deserve a life that takes the time it needs.
I receive with gratitude everything this year has brought me.
