Hello my dear friend.
Before we go anywhere,
Let yourself arrive here.
Feel the ground beneath you.
The weight of your body.
The places where you are supported.
Notice your breath moving in.
And moving out.
You don't need to make it deeper.
You don't need to change how you feel.
Just let yourself be here.
Maybe you've spent a long time paying attention to everything around you.
Reading the room,
Noticing what other people need.
Thinking about how your choices might affect someone else.
Wondering if you're asking too much.
Or whether you should say anything at all.
Maybe somewhere along the way,
You learn to make yourself a little smaller.
To keep the peace.
To question what you knew.
To explain yourself.
To ignore the quiet voice inside you when it became inconvenient for someone else.
You don't need to work out where any of that began today.
You don't need to pull apart your past.
Just notice what you've been carrying.
Some things are learned slowly.
So slowly we begin to mistake them for who we are.
But something learned.
Is not the same as something true.
Take a comfortable breath.
And bring your attention towards the center of your body.
Imagine there is a tiny ember there.
You don't have to see it clearly.
Maybe you simply sense its warmth.
It might be very small.
A single orange glow amongst the darkness.
But it is there.
This ember is not something we are going to force into a roaring fire.
We are simply going to tend it.
With each easy breath,
Give it a little space.
A little air.
A little attention.
And notice what happens.
The glow may become brighter.
Warmth may begin to spread.
This is the part of you that knows.
The part that notices when something feels right.
And when something doesn't.
A part that has preferences.
Desires,
Boundaries,
A voice.
The part of you that can say yes.
And the part that can say no.
None of this needs to be loud.
Power does not always roar.
Sometimes it begins as the quiet moment when you stop abandoning what you know.
Feel the ember growing warmer.
Not burning you,
Warming you.
Moving through your belly.
Your chest.
Your shoulders.
Down through your arms and into your hands.
And imagine that warmth beginning to burn away,
Nothing of you.
Only making visible what was never yours to begin with.
The expectation that you must always be agreeable.
The belief that somebody else's disappointment means you've done something wrong.
The habit of questioning yourself before trusting yourself.
The idea that taking up space somehow takes something away from somebody else.
Let the fire illuminate them.
You don't have to fight them.
You can simply see them.
And beneath them.
You are still he.
Your knowing is still here.
Your voice is still here.
Your life is still here.
And now,
Feel the warmth behind you,
Across your shoulder blades.
Imagine it's spreading.
Imagine it beginning to spread outwards,
One side.
And then the other.
Like great wings unfurling behind you.
Warm,
Strong,
Alive.
Maybe you see the feathers glowing with fire.
Deep red.
Amber.
Gold.
Or maybe you don't see anything at all.
You simply feel their presence.
The great wings of a phoenix.
And for a moment you might imagine this creature standing behind you.
Protecting you.
Reminding you of your strength.
Until you realize she isn't standing behind you.
These are your wings.
This fire is yours.
The phoenix was never coming to rescue you.
She was reminding you.
You are still here.
Not untouched.
Not unchanged.
But still yours.
Feel the strength of those wings behind you and the steady ember within.
You don't have to become fearless.
You don't have to become harder.
You don't have to become someone who never doubts herself again.
You can simply begin listening to yourself.
One choice at a time.
One boundary.
One honest no.
One wholehearted yes.
One moment where you notice what you know and don't immediately talk yourself out of it.
This isn't becoming someone new.
This is returning.
Returning to your voice.
Your knowing.
Your fire.
Take one slow,
Comfortable breath.
Feel your body again.
The ground beneath you.
The air against your skin.
You don't need to carry a roaring fire with you when you leave here.
An ember is enough.
You know where it lives now.
And whenever you need to,
You can return and tend it.
Begin moving your fingers.
Your toes.
Let your awareness widen to the room around you.
And when you're ready,
Open your eyes.
Take your time.
Your fire is still here.
