Hi,
And welcome.
My name is Amy and I am a meditation instructor here on Insight Timer.
I wanted to film a quick video today to unburden anyone who is feeling that they are failing at helping those around them.
To help you understand why you cannot always fix the problems of others.
I am the type of person who always wants to help those around me.
And when someone tells me that they are struggling,
Or that they're feeling broken or lost,
I can often see obvious steps that a person could take.
So that they could help themselves or heal.
Have you ever offered advice to someone and just felt like it went in one ear and out the other.
Like no matter how hard you try to pick someone up.
They ultimately remained stuck in their victimhood.
The reason for that is that everybody is on their own path.
If somebody isn't ready to make a change in their life,
You cannot force them to.
And equally you need to let go of the attachment to your advice being heard.
Your advice might not be agreeable to them,
Not what they want to hear right now.
And That's okay.
We are never a finished product.
Nobody is.
And our advice might not resonate with others.
You are on your path.
Which is the only path that you are responsible for.
And they?
Are on theirs.
But this can be really hard when we love others so deeply,
Especially as a parent or a friend.
How do you protect your own energy?
In a situation like this.
With the exception of a life or death situation,
Only offer your advice.
If it is actually asked for.
That way you know,
At least in that moment,
The person that you are hoping to support actually wants to listen.
You must release the idea of a positive outcome.
I'm not saying do nothing.
I'm not saying don't attempt to help people.
Release the idea of any preferred outcome.
Or timescale in your mind because you cannot control it.
In a moment of wanting to help someone.
Simply see it as your duty when asked for support to listen and guide and plant a seed of potential in someone's mind.
If you plant a seed,
At all.
An idea.
And someone chooses not to water that plant.
You still planted the seed.
That is all anyone can ask of you.
And all you can ask of yourself.
You did your best to help and support.
Whether someone waters that plant.
Is up to them.
It's not a reflection of you.
Or your ability to love someone.
It's nothing you have done wrong.
Empower people to make positive changes in their lives.
Don't be attached to fixing anything in its entirety.
There is also more than one way a person can help themselves and they may not choose your way.
Once a conversation has happened.
And you've tried to support someone.
If they don't help themselves right now.
Take comfort that they may do in the future.
Know that you've done your best.
And let it go.
Release the outcome.
Make yourself happy.
Unburden.
Your empathy.
Whatever has happened.
Did not fail someone.
Whatever is happening.
You are not failing someone.
Thank you for listening.
