The power of the polite no.
How to say no at work without feeling guilty.
Why is it so difficult to say no?
I mean,
It's such a small word,
So why is it so hard to say?
If you're a working mum,
Chances are you've lost count of how many times you've said yes when every part of you wanted to say no.
Someone at work needs a hand,
Another meeting gets added to your diary,
Or that quick favour lands on your desk at 4.
45pm.
And even though you're already running on empty,
You smile and you say,
Of course.
You're not alone.
Saying no feels uncomfortable.
I remember when I used to work in corporate and saying no,
Even when I had a good reason,
Was really difficult.
It was even worse when I said no and that was rejected.
I wish I had courage back then to stand my ground.
Having taken the time to reflect on why I accepted my no being rejected,
It was because somehow I justified it as not being that important and I could accommodate the request.
For you,
It might be different.
You might choose to say yes because you think that saying no might make you appear unhelpful,
Unkind,
Or like you're not a team player.
The fact is,
What you think isn't reality.
What is true is that constantly saying yes often leads to overwhelm,
Resentment and exhaustion.
When yes becomes too heavy.
When you keep saying yes to everyone else,
You're actually saying no to yourself,
Your time,
Your energy,
Your sanity.
You're allowing others to break through your personal boundaries.
You're showing others how they can treat you.
You're telling people what is acceptable.
As working mums,
We're often the ones keeping all the plates spinning.
The job,
The home,
The school admin,
The social plans,
And the never-ending mental to-do list.
And then when someone asks for something more,
That inner voice whispers,
You can't say no,
What will they think?
That's why it's important to think differently.
Your first responsibility is to yourself.
Saying no isn't rude,
It's responsible.
It's you recognising that your time is valuable,
That you matter just as much as everyone else around you.
The art of saying no nicely.
You can say no without it sounding harsh or awkward.
The trick is to be clear,
Kind and confident.
Try something like,
I'd love to help,
Though my plate's full at the moment.
Or,
That's not something I can take on right now,
Though I can suggest someone who can.
Or,
I want to give this proper attention and I don't have space to do that this week.
You're not rejecting the person,
You're simply protecting your boundaries.
People actually respect a clear,
Confident no.
It shows you have self-awareness,
Integrity and strength.
As Dr Ranjan Chatterjee says,
Boundaries aren't about controlling others,
They're about managing ourselves.
This is your reminder.
You are allowed to protect your time.
You are allowed to prioritise yourself.
You are allowed to say no.
Saying no doesn't make you selfish,
It makes you strong.
It's an act of confidence,
Self-respect and leadership.
And if this is something you're struggling with,
If you're nodding along thinking,
This is me,
Then try putting into practice some of the tips I've given you.
Let me know how it goes.
