Put The Day Down

Twenty minutes in the evening, for a day that finished an hour ago and is still running in your body. Seated, lights low, phone face down. Three cyclic sighs, then something you won’t find in most evening practices: three rounds of deliberately tensing everything and dropping it with an audible sigh. Nine hours of held tension doesn’t come out by being asked politely. Then several minutes of long, unhurried out-breaths, a full pass through ten places that hold the day, and a stretch of doing nothing at all. It ends by letting the day be finished. Not solved, not tidied up, just finished. Whatever’s unresolved will be exactly as unresolved tomorrow, and it’ll have you at full strength instead of this version of you.
Sit up rather than lying down. Falling asleep isn’t the same as recovering, and this works better before bed than in it.
Direction: down-regulating.
Seated, no props. If anything feels wrong, breathe normally.

Transcript

20 minutes to put the day down. Your day is probably still running in your body, Even though it finished an hour ago. And that's not a flaw. It's a system that hasn't been told it's over. This is how you are going to tell it. Sit somewhere with support behind you, Both feet on the floor, Preferably not lying down. If you lie down, You'll fall asleep. And sleeping isn't the same as recovering. We'll get to sleep later. Turn the lights down if you can. Phone, Face down, Out of sight, Somewhere you can't see it and do not disturb. If anything I say doesn't suit your body tonight, Ignore that instruction and breathe normally. Opening your eyes is also always available to you. Eyes open to begin with, So let them move around the room slowly. The four wall, The ceiling, Something close enough to touch You're not scanning for problems, Everything in this room is fine Let your eyes find that out for themselves Now let them rest on something dull. A patch of wall, The edge of a table. And just let it be there. And two questions before we start. First, Zero to ten, How wound up are you? The real number, Not the one you'd prefer Second, And this one matters more, Where in your body did you get that number from? The chest, The jaw, The stomach, Shoulders? The back of your neck or a buzzing you can't locate. Just see if you can find it. Don't do anything about it, Just know where it is and we'll come back to it later. And if it feels comfortable for you, Let your eyes close now. Otherwise, You can let them rest half open and unfocused. And let's start with three breaths with a particular shape a full inhale through the nose trying to fill the belly first and on top of that a second smaller inhale After which we do a long exhale out through the mouth as if you're breathing out through a straw Extra inhale on top, And out slowly through the mouth. Long as feels comfortable and then again inhale through the nose filling the belly first Extra inhale on top and then out through the mouth. Twice more in your own pace. And now we're going to have a deliberate let go and this one is physical. That they left something in your muscles. And asking them politely won't get it out. So we're going the other way first. Squeeze your shoulders up towards your ears and your hands into a fist and your whole face. Everything tight at once. Hold it even tighter. And then drop it all with an out-breath and let that exhale on the next one be audible, The kind of sigh you'd be embarrassed about to do in an open plan office. So again, Tightening everything up. Shoulders, Hands, Face, Jaw, Hold it. Squeeze a little bit harder. And then let it all go with the sound. And let's do one more and make the sigh louder than you want to. Lighten everything up again. Squeeze. A little bit more. And letting go. Something has actually left the body now And now let's do the breathing. And it stays like this for a while. Just mouth closed, Through the nose if that feels comfortable. And one instruction only, Let the exhale be longer than the inhale. Unhurried, Never forced. If you're straining, That means you've gone too far, So back off a little bit then. So a normal inhale for 2-3 seconds, And a long, Easy exhale for 4-6 or 8 seconds, Whatever feels comfortable for you. Normal inhale, Two-ish seconds. Long, Easy, Soft exhale. Carry on by yourself. Choosing a rhythm that feels comfortable for you. Keeping the one instruction in mind, Making the exhale longer than the inhale. Your mind may have started wandering off, Know that it's supposed to. When you notice it's gone, The noticing is the practice. You don't have to feel bad about the leaving, Just come back on the next exhale, Keeping the focus on your breath. You may find the exhale getting longer on its own. Let it. On push it. And now we go looking for what might still being held each place just notice it first and then let it go on the exhale in that order so move your attention to your jaw, Is it holding? And on the exhale, See if you can soften and let it go a little bit, Teeth apart. Your tongue probably pressed up against the roof of your mouth. Keep it relaxed, Let it rest there. And if it feels good you can lie it down. Move your attention to your eyes and the space between your eyebrows and soften it on the exhale. And then your throat and the front of your neck A lot of unsaid things live there. See if you can loosen it on the next exhale. And then notice your shoulders. On the next exhale, See if you can let them drop slightly. Feel any tension directing the breath towards that tension creating a bit of space from the inside and then your upper back between the shoulder blades You can stop gripping it. And your hands. Let the fingers maybe open slightly. Let their whole weight go into your lap or the chair or whatever surface they are resting on and your belly. Held in all day probably. On this next exhale, Let it go completely soft, Even if you don't love how that feels and then your hips and the whole weight of you going down into the chair chair is strong enough you can hand it over. Let yourself sink into it fully and then your legs and your feet on the floor. Heavy, Not working. Notice your whole body. Relaxing slightly more on each exhale letting go of what you've been carrying today. And now go back to the place you found at the beginning, Also the chest or the jaw or the stomach, Wherever that number came from. And is it still there? As it moved. Maybe changed shape, Maybe got a bit quieter. Or maybe a bit louder. We're not trying to get rid of it, We're just checking and that's the whole skill really, Being able to tell Sit with it. Notice it. Now for a while stop doing anything at all. Nothing to release, Nothing to check, Nothing to count. Your breathing is handling itself. Just sit here and let the room be around you If thoughts come, Let them go past You don't have to follow them, And you don't have to fight them. This right here is a thing you don't get in a normal day. Not necessarily calm exactly, But just a few minutes where nothing is being asked of you moment where you can move from always doing to just being. Noticing Nowhere to be. Nothing to do. Just sit. And simply noticing whatever comes up without a need to change or fix it. Without creating any aversion. Or resistance to it It's simply a neutral presence. With whatever is. If you feel ready you can start coming back slowly. Feeling the chair, The floor, Maybe the air on your face. Let your breathing be completely normal, No effort anywhere maybe one last time from zero to ten where are you now and before you open your eyes let the day be finished Not solved, Not tidied up, Just mentally finished Anything still unresolved will be exactly as unresolved tomorrow morning. And it will have you at full strength instead of. . . A more wound up version of you. There's nothing left for you to do with today. Open your eyes whenever you want to. And keep the lights low from here. Don't undo the last 20 minutes on your phone.