Taking Care Of Teachers Retreat. Teaching On How To Practice

This is a teaching offered in English at the beginning of a retreat for teachers. Introduction to the practice of pausing to take care of oneself. It is possible to pause through many practices. So it is possible to be creative and see that the practice of returning to the present moment can take place in many different ways.

Transcript

Feeling nervous.

When I signed up to be a monastic,

I never thought I would be holding the microphone that often.

I thought I would go to a place where I can retire and practice meditation.

So I'm still trying to get used to holding the microphone and speaking in front of people.

But I think it's beautiful to find the courage to share our journey in the practice with other people,

To inspire other people to do the same.

I was asked to share about some basic practices that I've been enjoying practicing since I found this tradition,

Plum Village,

In 2013.

For me,

It was a kind of turning point.

I still remember the first retreat in Plum Village.

It was pretty magical.

It took me a few days to really arrive.

I don't know how you're feeling today,

If you're still traveling or you're fully settled.

It normally takes a few days to really arrive.

I remember my first retreat in Plum Village.

After three days,

I felt stepping in a space and in a kind of collective energy that I didn't know was existing before.

I found myself stopping for the first time in my life,

As I was joining the community in the collective energy of practice,

Without even putting any effort.

So I think the chance of practicing together is very precious because we are creating a collective energy where we can really benefit by really creating this condition of stopping.

In my life before,

I was running pretty much,

Chasing after things quite often,

And I got to a point where I kind of burned out.

I wasn't able to function anymore.

So I really needed,

At that time,

A retreat where I could stop and reconnect to myself.

Because I feel sometimes,

Even if we are connecting with people,

It doesn't really mean we are connecting with ourselves as well.

I remember experiencing,

Feeling disconnected to myself and isolating myself with my own suffering and without having the capacity to take care of it.

I remember connecting to the community and to the practitioner.

There was also a space for me to share what were my difficulties.

And by sharing my difficulties,

I was able to slowly,

Slowly acknowledging them and transforming them.

So I think coming together is really an opportunity to reconnect with ourselves,

Also with our difficulties,

And learn how to become friends of them as well.

I think there are some people from the United States.

So I was in the United States a few years ago,

And I learned there is a saying that you have to keep your friends close,

But your enemy even closer.

Because if you are able to do that,

You can really learn how to build a better relationship with your enemy as well,

Because you will always have some enemies in your life.

And if you learn how to build a good relationship with them,

I think we can have a more pleasant life.

And in this case,

Sometimes enemies can be seen as our own suffering and difficulties.

So every time we experience some difficulties,

The tendency is to wanting to acknowledge them and pushing them away.

But having this compassion to really invite these difficulties and suffering to our living room,

Drinking tea with them,

And becoming friends with them.

I would like to share a story.

So the Plum Village monastic community likes to engage quite a lot by organizing a lot of retreats.

And sometimes Plum Village organizes retreats in the monastery,

But sometimes we also organize retreats outside of the monastery.

If there is a lay community inviting us to offer retreat outside,

We are happy to go when there is a condition,

And to connect with local community outside as well,

To bring the practice also in different places.

And one day I was lucky enough to organize a retreat in Italy,

And inviting some monastics.

I'm from Italy,

So I always have this interest of trying to bring the Dharma in my own country.

And we were having retreats in this city called Pisa.

Pisa is famous because there is a leaning tower.

And during the retreats,

Normally we also arrange some space to rest.

We call it lazy day.

So we're going to experience also during this retreat a lazy day,

Which can be kind of a challenging day because our tendency is doing,

Doing,

Producing,

Engaging.

And so sometimes it's very difficult to create within ourselves the capacity to really stop and enjoy doing nothing.

So our teacher was sharing that doing nothing is doing something.

So sometimes when we don't do anything,

We feel we are losing our time.

And because we are not producing,

We are not doing stuff,

But doing nothing is doing something because the condition is allowing ourselves to rest and to take care of ourselves.

And so sometimes we also need to do that,

To rest,

Let go everything and just take care of ourselves.

And so during these retreats in Pisa,

We were enjoying one lazy day.

So after 10 years of practicing lazy day,

I learned how to enjoy being lazy.

And so we were kind of taking the opportunity also to visit the city and we were a group of monastics.

And as soon we got to this square,

Which actually is very beautiful,

One sister,

As soon as she saw the leaning tower,

Which was not straight,

Was leaning,

She started to feel very uncomfortable.

Because she felt like this urge of put it back straight,

Because the way she perceived things,

Everything should be straight.

And so she was feeling very uncomfortable with that image.

And the image was also creating stir up a lot of emotions and mental formation in herself.

And until the point she was really struggling to watch the reality how it was,

Because she couldn't accept the reality how she was.

And she was experiencing a lot of tension and mental formation,

And even frustration to see,

You know,

When you see something that makes you feel uncomfortable,

I don't know if you have that experience.

And so she was kind of stuck in that experience for quite some time.

While we were getting closer to the tower,

She was really,

You know,

Finding ways,

Possible ways to put the tower straight again,

To,

You know,

To feel better with herself,

You know,

Changing the reality to feel better.

But it wasn't possible,

Of course.

So when she recognized that experience,

That she was experiencing all of that,

She said,

Maybe it's better.

I have learned how to come back to my breathing,

To take care of myself.

Maybe since I cannot put the tower back,

Maybe I can,

I can take care of my emotions and my perceptions.

And so she had done that.

So when she felt ready,

She came back to her breath,

And she started to calm down her emotions and her mental formations.

And slowly,

Slowly,

She was able to create space within herself.

So the reality that she was witnessing was not overwhelming anymore.

And this is a kind of experience that was kind of inspiring for me,

Because I find myself many times fighting with things that I don't like.

Just getting caught in fighting or producing thoughts that don't go in the direction of embracing the situation as it is.

Instead,

I normally fight with things that I don't like.

And by doing so,

I also learn that I'm creating a lot of tension for myself.

So the sister,

At that point,

She also found her body very tense.

And this is what happens when we are not really able to embrace things as they are.

And so mindful breathing sometimes can really help us when we find ourselves in that kind of situation,

To really take care of all the tension that we're building up or the mental formation we are having,

In order to calm them down and creating space within ourselves to be able to feel at peace with everything that is happening.

And to find a kind of space of stability for ourselves.

And this is also,

Again,

A practice that really has inspired me a lot and helped me a lot in my journey.

Learning how to take care of my anger as soon as it's rising,

Instead of expressing it and being caught on it,

Recognize it and come back to the breath to calm the anger.

And recognize that I'm much more than just that emotion that I'm experiencing in this moment.

And so this is a kind of powerful experience that I have in the practice,

And what I have learned also from the sister's story as well,

Of the leaning tower.

And then also remember coming to Plum Village for the first time was also finding this collective energy where I could really learn how to stop as well,

Without putting effort in stopping.

Like this morning during sitting meditation,

By connecting with the collective energy,

I could find myself stepping in the space of practice in a much easier way than if I would have been alone,

Practicing alone.

When I'm alone,

Sometimes I try to sit for 30 minutes,

But after 10 minutes I find myself get agitated.

And maybe after 15 minutes sometime I just end up and stop the session.

But as we are coming together we are really creating this opportunity to really support each other in stopping and nourishing this inner space,

The inner stability for ourselves.

And also coming to the retreat is also.

.

.

I like Zen tradition because you can use image to share something deep.

And I like the image of a soup.

Sometimes we eat the soup,

But sometimes the soup is a bit salty.

It's not very pleasant to eat.

And sometimes also our life gets a bit salty.

And also during the retreat is also an opportunity to really stop.

And if we recognize that our life is a bit salty in this very moment,

We can add more water to make it less salty and more pleasant to eat.

So as we are coming together we are also having this opportunity through all the practices that we're going to share together.

And also during walking meditation is also an opportunity to check how is our soup,

If it's too salty.

And if we find our soup too salty we can generate different kind of energy,

Such energy of peace,

Of calm,

Tranquility,

To change the taste of the soup.

And we also have the opportunity if we connect with the soup and we learn how to taste it and see how it is,

Also to add more flavors to make it even more tastier.

And as Italian I like to add olive oil sometimes to my soup.

And yeah,

This is every time I have opportunity to check my soup.

I like to add what I like.

And sometimes I need stability because I go through difficult times.

You know,

As a monastic,

Of course,

I'm still experiencing emotions and difficult moments.

And so sometimes the ingredients I need to add to my soup is stability.

And for me,

Walking meditation is very,

Very helpful to do that.

Because thanks to my steps,

Because it's a practice where I can fully engage also with my body and really touching the ground with my foot.

And by touching the ground with my foot and really be present to my steps,

I let go all the thoughts and I'm fully coming back to the present moment.

And when I'm able to do that,

I can get in touch with so many beautiful things,

You know,

The collective energy of the community.

And sometimes I need to remember that I'm also in the countryside and the quality of air in the countryside is pretty good.

And I can also get in touch with that quality of the air and enjoy it.

Maybe we can listen to one sound of the bell and check together how is our soup in this very moment.

And yeah,

Just simply coming back to the body and to the breath.

Enjoying the fresh air.

Enjoying to have a body.

Coming back to the present moment.

So one is fully resting at the moment.

That's another opportunity that we have for this retreat,

Actually.

As Brother Baotang was sharing at the beginning,

Really allowing ourselves to rest,

I think is a beautiful gift that we can offer to ourselves.

I found myself,

You know,

This is always the first step.

Even,

I remember when I became a monastic at the beginning,

I really wanted to get enlightened.

I have this perception that maybe I can,

You know,

Break through something,

Go very deep and get enlightened.

And slowly,

Slowly I learned that actually we can get enlightened every day with many different small things as well.

Anyway,

I was putting a lot of pressure to myself because I really want to achieve that.

And having also an idea what enlightenment is.

And I was finding myself putting a lot of pressure on my body,

On my mind.

You know,

I was becoming a soldier of the practice,

Waking up very early in the morning and being very diligent and putting a lot of pressure and attending all the schedule and following my breath every single second.

And it was mechanical.

It was really becoming my practice a bit mechanical and it wasn't alive anymore.

So at the end I said,

OK,

If I cannot become enlightened,

Because actually I'm putting a lot of pressure to myself,

I'm doing the opposite.

Maybe I can just learn now to be happy.

You know,

I can switch my shift,

My attention towards that direction.

And so at the end I slowly,

Slowly let go the idea of becoming enlightened and just learn now to become happy and try to be happy as the day unfolds.

And I see there is many opportunities during the day.