Hi,
Everyone.
Welcome back to the Rx to Feel Steadiness series by InMotion.
My name is Maria,
Jerome's mom,
And I'll be moving with you today.
Today's session is about the power of rhythm.
One of the most comforting parts of rhythm is its predictability and repetition.
The rhythm of my days has been shaped by my early morning routine.
Before Jerome died,
I already had a pretty well-established one.
Wake up extra early,
Have breakfast,
Pray,
And then and only then start my day.
Since JJ died,
Even though I have navigated a gigantic crisis of faith,
I have continued to dedicate close to one hour in the morning every day to prayer.
Here,
The word prayer comes in between quotes,
Meaning a time dedicated to embrace my pain without interruptions,
To grieve without witnesses,
To confront my debilitating doubts,
And to search for Jerome.
This time of quiet at the beginning of the day usually sets the tone for the rest of it.
If it happens to be soaked in despair,
The day is heavy.
My pain takes center stage.
If instead I find peace and sometimes hope,
Then the day is light,
Bright even.
Rituals offer a similar safety,
So we are going to move into our grounding rituals.
Hopefully,
These are starting to feel familiar.
If you can,
Find a quiet place outside where you can be still.
Keep your eyes open or closed,
Whatever feels best to you today.
As always,
We start with three deep grounding breaths that remind us to be where our feet are.
Take one deep inhale through the nose,
And just at the end,
Take a little extra sip at the top.
Now a long exhale through the mouth.
Feel your breath travel down to your feet,
And wiggle your toes to feel them touching the ground beneath you.
Let's do that together three times.
OK,
Now let's tap our hearts twice as a reminder to honor all our feelings as we move today.
Now let's stretch our arms out wide and relax our gaze.
We reach out our arms to connect,
Letting go of comparison.
I'm ready to move.
Are you ready?
Whether you're walking,
Running,
Hiking,
Or biking,
Let's take that first step forward together.
I'm starting off with a steady walk,
Feeling my body move forward with every step.
Find the pace that feels right for you at this moment.
I'm going to pause for a few seconds as we find our stride.
As I mentioned,
Today's steadiness concept is the power of rhythm.
In grief,
We can find ourselves in a place that looks or feels unfamiliar.
In this interim time,
As writer John O'Donohue calls it,
There is a feeling that nothing is as it was before.
It can feel like groundlessness,
Where it's hard,
Maybe even impossible,
To find the steady ground.
Rhythm can help us find that steadiness.
In some ways,
Rhythm is the beat of life.
Our mother's heartbeat is the first rhythm we ever felt.
So there is a beat that feels familiar,
So there is a beat that feels familiar to all of us.
That familiarity is actually a deep knowing.
As Dr.
Bruce Perry teaches us,
It is what makes patterned,
Repetitive rhythms regulating.
We can notice rhythm in many ways.
We can pay attention to the rhythm of our breath,
The rhythm of our feet on the pavement,
In birds' calls,
And even find rhythm in the man-made sounds of cars.
Just noticing rhythm can keep us present.
It steadies our busy minds.
J-Rom was a drummer.
He would spend hours working on a song,
Trying to emulate the different beats of each section.
Of course,
As he practiced in the basement,
The rest of the household cursed the loud and intense rhythms,
While barely enduring the softer ones.
Now,
Though,
I have gained a new appreciation for drums and drummers and the power they give to any song.
Intense beats often bring my boy closer to me.
I am sure that,
Like me,
You,
Too,
Also feel your loved one close by when you hear certain songs,
Songs that make me feel gooey inside.
Gooey is soft and a little bit vulnerable.
I choose certain gooey songs to invite that vulnerability,
But in a way that I feel I can manage.
So in place of our quiet movement today,
We will move to music.
In just a moment,
I'm going to ask you to pause this session and pick out a gooey song to move to.
Choose a song,
Any song,
That brings you close to what brought you to this series to begin with.
Is there a song that you attach to a memory,
A person,
A moment,
A feeling?
At the chime of the bell,
Turn on your song and let it move you toward that memory,
Moment,
Person,
Or feeling.
Notice the rhythm,
The lyrics,
And the melody.
Notice what comes to your mind and how your body feels as you listen.
Feel free to play as many gooey songs as you'd like,
Or play your one song as many times as you like,
Or just listen once.
It is up to you.
When you are done,
We invite you to come back to our session,
And I'll be here,
Ready to move with you again.
Once we are back together,
I will invite you to reflect on what came up for you during that gooey song,
And then we will close with our poem.
Here we go.
["CAT STEVENS"] Welcome back.
Let's get back in stride together.
Why don't we tap our hearts two more times to honor what came up for us during that gooey song?
For me,
My gooey song is Cat Stevens' Yusuf Islam's Heaven Where True Love Goes.
It popped up on the radio about a year after Jerome died.
I have songs,
I think we all do,
That feel like love letters sent by our loved ones to us.
But this particular song,
Heaven,
For me,
Goes above and beyond.
As soon as I heard it,
I went to look for its lyrics,
And I found the official YouTube video of it.
The song is powerful,
But you have no idea what the images conveyed to me at that moment in my grieving journey.
How about you?
What song did you choose?
Why that song?
What came up for you when you were listening to it?
Songs like these can be a comfort,
But they can also be hard to revisit.
Rhythm helps us to hold these feelings and move with them.
We can save these songs and come back to them.
We can even build a whole gooey list.
Music invites us to turn toward hard things while letting the rhythms soothe and comfort.
Feel free to take a moment right now if there is something you would like to make a note of to revisit later.
As we approach the end of our time together,
Let's bring our attention back to the rhythm of our movement.
Let's stay here for a few strides.
I'm going to wind down my walk,
But feel free to continue moving if that's what's best for you.
We'll close our session today on rhythm with a blessing for the brokenhearted.
A blessing for the brokenhearted by Jan Richardson.
Let us agree for now that we will not say the breaking makes us stronger or that it is better to have this pain than to have done without this love.
Let us promise we will not tell ourselves time will heal the wound when every day our waking opens it anew.
Perhaps for now,
It can be enough to simply marvel at the mystery of how a heart so broken can go on beating as if it were made for precisely this,
As if it knows the only cure for love is more of it,
As if it sees the heart's sole remedy for breaking is to love still,
As if it trusts that its own persistent pulse is the rhythm of a blessing we cannot begin to fathom but will save us nonetheless.
I am Maria,
J-Ram's mom,
And it was a privilege to move alongside you today.
See you next time.
Prescription to Feel is a series created by Emotion,
An organization on a mission to change the way the world relates to grief and loss.
Learn more at emotion-mc.
Org or find Emotion on Instagram at weare__emotion.
Thanks for moving with us.
