Welcome,
I'm Dr.
Piper Grant.
In this practice today,
We'll explore touch.
Touch without expectation,
Touch without performance,
And without pressure.
For so many couples,
Touch becomes linked to outcome.
If we cuddle,
It might lead somewhere.
If we initiate contact,
It must mean something.
And over time,
That pressure can make even the simplest of touch feel loaded.
The thing is,
Is that touch is not inherently sexual.
It is regulating,
It is grounding,
It is connective.
This practice is about restoring touch as safe.
Nothing needs to follow after this practice.
Whether you are in coupleship or solo,
This practice can be done together or apart.
And we're simply going to start with finding a comfortable position.
Noticing that even as we begin to talk about touch,
How does your body respond?
I encourage you to find a position that is comfortable for you and feels supported.
And we're going to just start with our breath.
Noticing the slight rise with the inhale.
And the fall with the exhale.
Allowing you to just find your breath right here in this moment.
At whatever pace you need and in whatever way.
But allowing your breath to ground you,
To center you,
To bring you to present moment.
And if you feel comfortable,
Whether with eyes open or eyes closed,
I ask you to now bring attention to your hands.
Gently rubbing your palms together.
Noticing the warmth.
Noticing the texture.
Noticing the presence of one hand to the opposite.
And now softly,
If it feels comfortable for you,
Place one hand on your opposite forearm.
Just a light contact.
Notice any sensations,
Again,
Any pressure,
Any temperature.
Just the presence of hand on forearm.
From here,
There is no goal,
No need to feel anything specific.
We're just curious with the contact.
And now,
I'd like you to imagine offering the same kind of neutral,
Safe touch to your partner.
Nothing sexual.
Not leading anywhere.
Just presence.
Notice even as I ask you to begin to imagine that,
What comes up in your body.
The offering of this type of touch.
Perhaps it would be sitting close.
Perhaps it would be holding hands.
Maybe it's you resting a hand on their back.
Notice how your body responds to the idea of offering this same type of touch without expectation.
Taking notice how that offering of touch might elicit something,
Might bring up something.
I now want to invite us to switch it up a little bit.
We're going to go from imagining offering that touch to now receiving this touch.
Imagine receiving the same kind of neutral,
Safe touch from your partner.
If you genuinely knew it was not sexual,
It was not leading anywhere,
It was just them wanting to be present with you.
Perhaps it's them extending their hand onto your back,
Onto your thigh,
Reaching out to hold your hand.
Notice if it's different for you.
Notice how your body responds to the idea of receiving touch without expectation.
Noticing if there is any tension or difference between receiving or offering.
As we hold these two images,
These two experiences,
If tension arises in either of them,
I invite you to soften the image.
Notice at what point does the touch feel safe?
How can you make it simpler?
Notice if you can believe that the touch has no perceived outcome.
It is not requiring of anything.
And if you knew that,
You believed that,
You felt that,
Could there be ease?
When touch feels safe,
The body relaxes.
And when the body relaxes,
Connection has an abundance of room to grow.
From either of these experiences,
Receiving or giving,
Can you imagine,
Can you feel,
In what type of touch would be relaxing?
Can you see where safety could be found in touch?
And offering this as a reminder to the body that in fact touch can be safe.
Touch can be free of expectations.
Touch can be free of obligation.
The touch that you imagine offering or receiving is without performance and without pressure.
It's an offering to help the body regulate,
To ground,
To connect.
And noticing what that experience with touch like that would be in your body.
Taking a few breaths here,
Allowing presence and awareness.
Noticing where your hands are touching even in this moment.
Noticing what it is like for your body to remember and experience that touch can be without and free of obligation and expectation.
An inhale as a reminder that touch is simply for regulation.
And an exhale,
Releasing the idea that touch needs to lead to sex.
Allowing your body to settle into that.
And be present with that.
And when you feel ready,
We're going to slowly bring ourselves back into this space.
Even by allowing ourselves touch by simply squeezing a part of our body.
This touch is to regulate and to bring us back.
Allowing your eyes and your gaze to come back into the room.
Come back into the space.
I leave you with a reminder that when pressure leaves,
When obligation leaves,
Warmth often does return on its own.
And so as you move forward with touch,
Removing any pressure and obligation will allow the tenderness of touch to return.
Thank you for joining me in this practice today.
Be well.
