Welcome,
I'm Dr.
Piper Grant.
In this practice,
We will gently explore something that many people carry quietly,
And that is sexual shame.
We are going to begin by meeting it with compassion instead of judgment.
Far too often,
Sexual shame can show up in so many different forms.
It can sound like,
I want too much,
I don't want enough,
I should be different,
I want something different,
Something is wrong with me.
Shame often grows from messages that we absorb from family,
Culture,
Religion,
Partners,
Comparison traps,
So many things.
And over time,
Those messages actually can settle into the body.
So this practice is not going to be about removing shame instantly,
It's about changing how you meet it.
Shame can thrive in silence and harshness,
And yet,
I believe that compassion shifts the ground beneath it.
And so today's practice is really an invitation to meet it with compassion.
To begin,
I invite you to find a comfortable position,
Any position that allows your body to feel supported in this moment.
And as we settle in,
Softening your gaze,
Or if it feels comfortable for you,
Closing your eyes,
And we're just going to find our breath in this moment.
Even with starting and talking about shame,
It can bring up so much in our body.
And so we just want to slow down by finding our breath,
Bringing a really beautiful,
Nourishing,
Affirming inhale through your nose,
And a really long,
Releasing,
Grounding exhale through your mouth.
And just finding that breath at whatever pace,
And whatever way that you need to,
So that in this moment,
Your body knows it is safe.
It is safe to be in this practice.
It is safe to move forward in meeting your sexual shame,
And your health.
When you feel comfortable,
I invite you to bring to your mind's eye a moment or an experience when you felt sexual shame.
I'm not asking you to revisit the details,
A simple noticing of the feelings.
And perhaps you can feel it instantly,
Or maybe it's so locked away,
It's even hard to access in this moment.
But as you bring it forward,
Noticing where it lives in your body,
What is your experience in your body as we bring forward that memory,
That time,
That moment?
Perhaps there is heat in your face,
Perhaps there is a tightness in your chest,
A pit in your stomach feels heavy,
Or even a contraction in your pelvis.
I'm not asking you to change it,
I'm not asking you to make sense of it,
Let's just notice it.
As you breathe,
As you are safe in your body,
You are safe in this present moment.
And just notice,
If there is one area in your body that feels incredibly activated,
Or perhaps even needs more attention,
I invite you if it feels comfortable to place one hand over that area.
And simply take a breath,
See if you can breathe into that space.
Perhaps allowing there to be a sense of safety,
A sense of awareness,
With simple noticing it can offer so much.
Shame is often a protective response.
Shame really does try to keep us safe from rejection,
Judgment,
Or disconnection.
So as you notice that space,
As you notice the sensations that arise in your body,
I invite you to actually say,
This feeling makes sense.
Because in fact,
This experience is not evidence of defect,
It is the body trying to protect us.
And so with this,
I invite you to find your breath again,
Taking another slow inhale,
And a full releasing exhale.
And now,
I'd like you to imagine speaking to yourself the way that you would speak to someone that you care deeply about.
Imagining that person there with you,
This person that you care deeply about,
That you have kindness or fondness for.
What would you say if they came to you sharing about their own shame,
Around their sexual shame?
What would you say to them,
From a place of loving kindness?
Perhaps you are just human.
You are allowed to be human.
You are allowed to have desires and wants.
It is okay to move at your own pace.
It is okay to change,
To make mistakes,
To want something different.
How can you let those words land as if you are speaking to a friend or somebody that you care about?
How do you offer those words to yourself?
Compassion does not excuse harm,
But it softens unnecessary self-attack.
And when we are in a place of shame,
We often are attacking ourselves.
Compassion allows us to soften that.
Can you hear the compassionate voice within yourself?
Can you direct the compassion that you would show somebody else towards yourself in this moment?
And I invite you to find that one compassionate statement that you could hear and carry with you.
Perhaps you need to tuck it in your pocket,
Place it on top of your heart,
Close it into your belly.
See if you can lock in that one compassionate statement.
As you hold it close,
Remembering that you get to carry that with you.
You get to hold that whether you are in this practice or not.
And with that,
I invite you to take one more slow inhale,
And a steady exhale,
A full release of all that you've acknowledged,
Bringing yourself back into this present moment,
Allowing your eyes to open gently,
Your body to come back into awareness of its present space.
And I offer you this remembering as you move forward,
That sexual shame is not identity,
And it can absolutely be met with understanding.
And the more gently that you meet yourself,
The less power that shame has to define you.
I thank you for letting me join you in this practice today.
Be well.
