This meditation is for relationship moments when your nervous system feels activated and the urge to reach out feels intense.
It's meant to help you slow down and walk through this moment with compassion so you can respond from your wisest and most grounded self.
So you might start by closing the eyes or softening the gaze and begin to notice your body settled either in the chair or laying down.
Notice the points of contact with the surface beneath you,
The pressure and stability.
And we'll begin with a few deep breaths,
Breathing into the belly and out through the mouth with the lips pursed like you're slowly blowing out through a straw.
And in through the nose and slowly out through pursed lips.
And one last deep breath in and one last slow breath out through the mouth.
And now releasing the focus on the breath and bringing the attention to that relationship anxiety and that urgent need to act to try to bring someone closer.
And noticing how that anxious urge to act shows up in the body.
Maybe there's a tensing of the arms.
Maybe an energy in the torso or a fast beating heartbeat.
Maybe the jaw feels tight and tense.
And experimenting with labeling these sensations like energy,
Movement,
Tension.
And wherever you're feeling this urge most strongly in the body,
You might place a soothing hand on that spot.
And imagine that this hand represents your wisest and most compassionate self.
The self that has the capacity to witness and hold this urge as it arises and falls.
Imagine that you can observe this urge as though you were a person standing on the shore of the ocean watching a wave rise,
Peak,
Crest,
And fall,
Receding naturally.
You don't need to push the wave away or stop the wave.
And you also don't need to jump inside the wave,
Tossing around and getting lost in it.
You can simply compassionately witness the wave rising and naturally falling.
Just like this observer on the peaceful shores of the beach,
Observe the sensations of the urge in your body as they naturally shift and change moment to moment.
Maybe the sensations are stronger in one part of the body and then another.
Maybe the quality of the sensations changes,
Moving from pulsing to tight or energy to buzzing.
Maybe the intensity becomes greater or less intense.
Simply letting this process unfold,
Knowing you're safe in this moment,
Your body is experiencing emotions and urges and thoughts,
And that's completely natural and human.
All the ways you're feeling make perfect sense in the bigger context of your life and experiences.
All emotions and sensations are temporary and you have the capacity to witness this process as it rises and falls,
Returning your focus to that soothing,
Comforting hand,
Feeling warmth,
And the intention to care for yourself as you experience something difficult.
You might offer the part of yourself that's experiencing this anxious urge some gentle reassurance.
You might say something like,
It's safe to pause.
It's okay for relationships to have moments of closeness and moments of space.
Slowing down can help you respond from your wisest and most grounded self.
Taking one last deep breath into the belly,
And one last slow cleansing breath out through the mouth,
And thanking yourself for showing up for yourself today,
Before you open your eyes and continue with your day,
Knowing that you can choose how to respond in the ways that feel right for you and strengthen your most important connections.
