Managing Other People's Energy: Episode #8

The Meditation School Podcast, hosted by David Gandelman, is full of short, direct strategies, tools, stories, and meditations, to guide you to a deep state of calmness and purpose. Get ready to laugh, let go, and enjoy the process of awakening to your authentic nature, without wasting any time.

Are you ready to break free of anxiety, ground into a consistent meditation practice, find purpose and inner-peace?

Transcript

Hey friends,

Welcome back to the Meditation School Podcast and today is a special episode.

It is a holiday episode.

So happy holidays,

Happy Hanukkah,

And Merry Christmas,

And Happy New Year,

And whatever else you celebrate.

If you're watching the video of this,

I have a sweet shirt on.

It's Will Ferrell from the Elf and it says OMG and he's super excited and so am I.

I actually ran into him at a cafe in LA like two years ago I think.

We caught eyes for a moment and he seemed so sweet.

There's a scene in the Elf movie where he gets in the elevator and he sees all the buttons and he presses one and he's like beautiful and then he presses all of them and there's like 80 of them and there's another guy in the elevator and he just looks at him and he goes it looks like a Christmas tree.

David,

Why are you bringing up the Elf?

I thought this podcast is all about meditation and calming down.

Well,

As we get into the holiday season and as the cycle ends and as we go into the new year,

I think it's really important to take a step back to recalibrate and really think about and reflect on what's important to us.

Although a lot of us believe certain things are important,

The way we act and respond in the world sometimes shows that other things are important.

For example,

We all want to believe that play is important to us,

But seriousness and responsibility usually overshadows it.

We also want to think that giving is a big piece of who we are and what we care about,

But most of the day we spend our time thinking about what we can get,

How we can get more money,

How we can get more things,

How we can get people to like us.

And I think the holidays is usually a time where people get really stressed out,

Family gets in your space,

There's too much going on all at once,

And people get lonely and depressed even though it's supposed to be this really beautiful special time of awakening and opening and sharing.

So how can we honor ourselves,

Our spirituality,

As we go into the holidays and have some fun at the same time and not be super stressed out and anxious all the way through to the new year?

Because you don't want to start the new year off the way you ended the previous year if it's not in a great energy.

So first and foremost,

And this might sound a little bit intense,

But I think it's important to sit down and actually write a list down of all the people that stress you out.

That doesn't mean it's to judge them or even to say that it's their fault.

Okay,

Not saying it's their fault.

Just write a list down of the people that in some form or another you think cause you stress.

Ultimately,

You cause yourself stress,

But let's just start with a list.

And then next to each person's name,

I want you to write down what about them or the situation or the scenario stresses you out.

So is it their judgment?

Is it their neediness?

Is it pressure of some kind?

Is it too close to you in your space?

What is it?

And then see if you can take them out of the equation and start to reconcile that energy inside yourself or yourself.

And if you have to have a conversation with them,

If you can't,

Then maybe it's time.

The end of the year is a great time to really reconcile and heal.

So if you can recognize,

Wow,

A lot of my stress comes from me caring what these three people in my life think.

Now is it those three people's fault?

No,

It's a great opportunity to sit back,

Maybe in meditation and contemplate why do I care what these three people think?

What is the image?

What is the energy inside me that makes me believe,

Feel and think that it's important to have their approval?

As you start to resolve that and work through that or whatever it is,

You're going to unlock so much of your energy.

And what you'll realize is that there's a deep level of purpose underneath it.

You might think this person is annoying me and they're making me stressed out and that's not what I want through the holidays.

But when you look closer,

They're giving you the ultimate holiday gift.

They're pressing all your buttons.

They're getting on your elevator and they are pressing all your buttons.

And that gift is they're giving you the opportunity to reflect on maybe some weaknesses that you have,

Some places inside yourself that are unhealed or unresolved,

Where you haven't stepped into your power.

So find out whatever this is,

Whatever the person is doing to you,

Or you think they're doing to you is sit down,

Start to work through it in meditation.

And you're probably like,

All right,

David,

Well,

I got that pretty quick.

How do I actually work through it?

So let's just do three easy steps to work through some energy,

Some negativity as we close out this year.

So step number one is just identifying what the energy is.

All right.

This person makes me feel unworthy or unloved.

OK,

So the energy is I feel unworthy or unloved.

It's just an example.

Feel that in for a moment in your body.

Actually let yourself feel it.

Step two,

Take a moment and reflect.

Where did I first start feeling this energy?

Did this person come around and this the first time it's ever happened to me?

Or is this something that's recurred time and time again?

And they're just another person that's kind of pressed my button.

So find where the original image memory experience comes from,

If you can,

Or one that's a little further back.

That's maybe actually part of the irritation.

And once you find what that is,

Step three,

Take a clear look at it and begin to resolve it by seeing if you can have compassion for yourself,

Acceptance,

Understanding.

Really look through it and just ask yourself,

Is this true?

Am I not worthy or was I just a little bit less conscious in the past and somebody programmed me or pushed me or hurt me in some way to make me feel like I wasn't?

And you'll allow that image,

That memory,

That energy to start to resolve just by looking at it and sitting with it and bringing in one level of acceptance after another.

And if you're like,

David,

I just can't accept it.

Then I want you to start by accepting that you can't accept it.

David,

There's bad people in the world.

They're mean to me.

They torture me.

Okay.

Can you start by accepting that?

And then let's see what's on the other side of it.

But if you respond in anger or rage or you hide,

You avoid,

Then nothing good is going to really come out of that.

And you're going to have coals in your stockings,

Energetic ones.

This is really a great opportunity to shift your energy before the new year.

And this is the ultimate gift that you can give yourself and the people around you that you love,

Which is your own spiritual awakening,

Your own shift of energy,

A calm,

Peaceful,

Loving,

Accepting,

Compassionate version of yourself.

The one that you know is there that sometimes gets covered up by that holiday stress or other people's negativity.

Use this as an opportunity.

I think whether you're celebrating Hanukkah or Christmas or anything else,

All of these holidays are really a reflection of something deep in the human spirit that yearns for the truth,

For love,

For growth.

So Christmas,

Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus and all of the teachings that come with him around love and acceptance.

And in Hanukkah,

It's really a celebration of,

Well,

One of the pieces historically is the celebration of winning against a tyrant.

But we can look at that also as an analogy of winning against an inner tyrant.

So there might be a negative energy that's an inner or even an external tyrant in your life that's pressing your elevator button,

Lighting up your internal tyrant.

It's time to sit down and reflect,

Shift your energy.

I know I gave you a lot of homework.

I hope you have an amazing end of your year.

Love yourself and everyone around you.

You out.

See you soon.

Reviews

You dear David have integrated your person and humanity beautifully. With your kind eyes, beautiful smile, breathy beginning laughter, your wonderful resonant voice, and presence…you exude trust and truly embody groundedness. Thank you for being the human you are…the darkness needs your light more than ever today. Jan. 5. 2026. Susan in Philadelphia

Always a great session and words of wisdom from David! 🙏🏼

David- I remember that scene from Elf! You always make me laugh and smile in the best way possible, thank you :)

Just what I needed to explore, due to a new coworker who has very negative energy.

This was awesome!
I'm wish I would have listened to this b4 Christmas. I just realized my sister in-law has been a witch🧹 since day one. My "keep the peace @ all cost" attitude has hurt me. My own issues have made this worst. Ty.
You rock!
All your videos are so insightful and funny at times.
Hugs 🧘🏼‍♀️👑♥️😘

Wonderful inspiration and insight. I will work with these 3 questions and release some of my stress. Thank you
🙏

Great meditation thank you so much give me a different perspective on looking at a few things in my life, so thank you Namaste

As always! Love your laughter. I can’t help but laugh w/you. 🙏

Not really a meditation, not December, but still valuable.

Listening to this after the holidays but I will watch Elf year around. I really loved the little exercise to write down the people who stress you out and why and the guidance to take that into meditation. I will use this! ❤️

I always love your energy. Elf is one of my favorite holiday movies. Will Ferrell is so fun, funny and talented. I knew exactly what you were saying. 😄Taking the time to realize when my elevator buttons have been pushed and stepping back to think about what that means for me, is crucial to me placing that energy in a more appropriate place. Being more proactive instead of reactive is helping me to mitigate those situations a lot better. Somethings you just know will trigger something else and we set ourselves up for those by habit and we don’t even realize it. It’s getting easier for me to say “give me a moment while I process this feeling.” It’s feels weird but it’s taken seriously. I’m so happy to say my reactions are much better now than how I inherently wanted to respond before learning several techniques that help me throughout my day. 🙏🏾🌸🙏🏾

I like his giggly happy energy, it makes me relax alot!

That was thought provoking and helpful. Thank you!

Exxxxcellllllent reflection David!! Happy Holidays to you as well!!
I will be doing this a few times before the years end of 2021 so I may move into 2022 with a lightness and renewed energy ✨✨✨💖🙏🏻

Powerful!! So incredibly helpful, practical tools for turning a difficult situation into one of growth! It’s ALL within my power!!!

Really great advice. Love your meditations David. Thank you for sharing this one.
🦋💐🥳🌸💝🍂🐾✨🌼☀️🕊🪶🍁🙏🏽🌹

This was very helpful. I love your sweet nature. Thank you… 🙏🌸🦋

The Will Ferrel reference was woven neatly into the message. Very insightful explanation on how the annoyance/ aggravation reaction to people is more of an indication of unresolved ‘stuff’. Hoping that there was little to no “energetic coal” in stockings 😆

Thanks, David. It’s not December but it does seem like we in the West are preparing to start over again. I don’t know what things will feel like as I come out of solitary confinement. Many millions are still in turmoil from Covid and tribal conflicts, ancient and new. I’m among the lucky/blessed ones. I’m grateful for the privilege, while my heart hurts for all those suffering. I’ll try my best to rise to the occasion. Play the hand I’ve been given as best I can, “with generosity toward all and malice toward none.” 🙏🏻💞

David, thank you so much for your humour, good energy and love. Happy New year. 💖