Only Seeing Potential In Others Is A Coping Mechanism

In this track, Dakota explores how only seeing the potential in others can begin as a coping mechanism rooted in childhood survival. When reality felt difficult or unsafe, focusing on who someone could become rather than who they were in the moment could create a sense of hope and emotional stability.

As this pattern continues into adulthood, it can shape how we choose relationships and environments, often leading us to connect with possibility instead of presence. Over time, this can create a disconnect between perception and reality, where we relate more to imagined potential than to consistent behavior.

Transcript

Something that I learned recently is that only seeing the good in others is potentially a trauma response. The reason our brain is able to learn how to only see the good in others is because at one point we had to survive a toxic environment or toxic caregivers in order to survive. So our brain learns to put the blinders on. And see potential and love where there is none. In order for us to survive our environment. I always used to pride myself on seeing potential in others, But now I admit to myself that a lot of that was an illusion. I was projecting a lot of goodness on people. Even when they were showing me consistently otherwise. So that I could stay in that environment and not make any choices to change. It's almost like our brain allows us to put the blinders on. And when we learn how to do that as a child, We tend to repeat that same pattern as an adult. Sometimes we allow ourselves to stay with people that are deceptive or dishonest or intentionally harmful to us consistently. Because we see potential and see who they could be. Even though that's not the reality of what they're showing us right now. This skill helped me survive childhood. I am so grateful for my beautiful brain. For all of the gymnastics it did for me to make it through. But as an adult. This coping mechanism has hindered me from healthier relationships and hindered me from leaving environments. Sooner than I should have. So, If you're open to it, If you are someone who sees the good in others, Who only sees potential in others and rarely sees people's quote-unquote bad side, I recommend asking you this question. Is this a coping mechanism? Or is there something deeper under that pattern of yours that may hinder you now as an adult?