I want to make something very clear.
Something you may have never heard about in your whole life.
Self-sabotage does not exist.
There is no part of you that doesn't want you to succeed.
Not one.
Every part of you is trying to do just one thing.
Protect you.
Trying to keep you from getting hurt.
Trying to keep you safe in the only way it knows how.
Yes,
That may show up as pushing love away,
Even when all you truly want is love.
Or it might look like procrastinating for so long on a project that you end up losing your job or getting a bad grade in school.
But if you look deeper,
If you slow down and ask why,
You'll find that the purpose of that behavior was never to destroy you.
It was to protect you.
Protect you from love that might hurt you later.
Protect you from being seen and possibly not accepted.
Protect you from failure,
From rejection,
From shame.
It's not to make you fail.
It's not to make you unlovable.
And it's definitely not to ruin your chances.
I really don't like that self-sabotage is even a word used in psychology,
Because it implies we're against ourselves.
And if anyone in this whole world were going to be against us,
It would never be ourselves.
What kind of sense does that make?
It doesn't.
It doesn't make any sense when you really stop and think about it.
So the next time you think you're self-sabotaging,
I invite you to pause for just a few moments.
Ask yourself,
What am I trying to protect myself from right now?
And when you find the truth of that answer,
You might come face to face with a very tender moment,
A moment of deep compassion.
Every time I've looked at what seemed like a self-sabotaging behavior,
It has led me to a really innocent,
Sweet,
Loving part of myself,
A part that's still learning how to feel safe,
A part that's creating new chances for me to love myself more,
To forgive myself for the times I thought I was doing harm,
When really,
I was just trying to survive.
These parts were just trying to help.
So maybe the truth is,
You were never sabotaging.
You were always protecting.
And now you can meet yourself with love when those moments show up.
