Hello,
My name is Dakota,
And today I want to share something that has helped me so much in my life.
Honestly,
It was the key to my own freedom.
It's the idea that you spot it,
You got it.
What this means is that when we feel reactive,
Annoyed,
Or judgmental towards someone else,
It's often because we're seeing a mirror.
Something in them is reflecting something in us that we haven't fully acknowledged yet.
And this isn't about blaming ourselves or making ourselves feel bad.
It's about understanding ourselves better so we can be free of the irritation and agitation that gets stirred up by other people's behavior.
Let me tell you a quick story.
The other day,
I was at a cafe and I saw a woman who looked so sad.
She was sad about her food,
Sad while talking to her husband,
And then she looked at her kids,
And again,
Sadness.
I felt this jolt of irritation and caught myself thinking,
Why is this woman so miserable?
Why is everything in the world so wrong for her?
And then I paused,
Why is this bothering me so much?
And it hit me,
It's me who's been constantly sad.
I realized that for the past couple of months,
I've been quietly moping,
Feeding that sadness with old stories and outdated thoughts.
I even noticed I've been making a sad face at myself when I walk by a mirror.
I had to laugh a little because suddenly,
It was so obvious.
The only reason I felt annoyed with her was because I recognized those same chronically sad behaviors in myself.
But instead of shaming myself,
I asked,
What can I do right now to give myself even just a little bit of joy?
So I decided,
I was going to take myself to get a double scoop of salted caramel ice cream,
And I was going to get it in a sugar cone,
And that's where I started.
And then something funny happened.
I completely stopped being annoyed by her.
She became absolutely irrelevant to me.
I don't even think I looked at her one more time.
My energy turned inward towards me.
That's when the trigger softened.
It had done its job.
It showed me what was asking for attention within me,
And I was able to let everything else go.
Now,
Instead of using my energy to get annoyed or judge someone else,
I can use that very same energy to bring my attention back to myself.
And that changes everything.
Here's a great analogy.
If someone makes fun of you for having blue hair,
But you don't have blue hair,
You wouldn't care.
You'd brush it off,
Maybe laugh,
And move on.
It wouldn't even bother you.
Why?
Because it's not true for you.
But when someone does something that rattles you,
When you feel that fire of annoyance or anger,
It's likely because that thing is true for you too,
Even if only a little bit.
That's the mirror.
And that mirror isn't here to shame you.
It's here to set you free.
It's here to show you what you haven't been able to see in yourself.
And it will help you get to know yourself better so that you can actually meet your own needs.
Needs you might not even realize you have until that mirror shows up.
I wouldn't have known I was endlessly feeding my own sadness if it weren't for that woman at the cafe.
So next time you feel triggered,
Try this.
Instead of spiraling outward,
Pause.
Ask yourself,
Where is this in me?
How am I acting the same?
Because when you turn your attention inward,
The charge or the emotion will often melt.
And you can use that extremely valuable energy in a way that's wise,
Useful,
And benefits you the most in the long term,
In ways you can't even imagine.
Instead of being mad at someone or something you can't control,
You bring the focus back to what you can change,
And that's yourself.
For some people,
This might not feel easy at first.
But for me,
It's actually become fun.
I get to know myself more.
I laugh with myself more.
And most importantly,
I get to give myself what I actually need instead of wasting my energy on others who are simply holding up a mirror.
Thank you for being here with me today.
I hope this invitation helps you feel empowered and opens the door to growth,
Just like it has for me.
And if you've experienced something like this too,
I'd love to hear your story in the comments below.
