Expectation Of Submission

This track explores the concept of expectation of submission as a relational dynamic where one person’s needs, boundaries, or emotional reality are treated as secondary to another person’s internal demands. It looks at how this can shift relationships from mutual understanding into patterns where one person is subtly pressured to accommodate or erase themselves.

The track also explores how people often try to resolve these dynamics through communication, when the deeper issue is often the structure of the relationship itself. It reflects on how clarity around this pattern can help someone recognize when a relationship is organized around control rather than mutual recognition.

Transcript

Expectation of submission is a relational dynamic where another person's needs, Boundaries, Wants, Feelings, Or separate reality are treated as inconveniences, Threats, Or problems to manage rather than a valid expression of another human being. And unhealthy relationships, People often assume the core issue is communication. So one of the partners will spend an enormous amount of time trying to explain themselves better, Soften their tone, And find the exact perfect wording or say it in a way that the other person will finally understand. And they do this in the hopes of, If this person understands, Then they will stop treating me the way they do. But sometimes, With certain personalities, It's not primarily a communication problem. It's an expectation of submission problem. It's not that the person can't understand you, Because they could. It's that they don't want to understand you. They would rather you. Just exhaust yourself so that you eventually stop complaining, And then they get what they want, Which is you just being quiet and letting whatever behaviors are happening, Letting that continue without fighting against it. In these dynamics, Conversations tend to become circular, Confusing, Or exhausting. These are my signals for myself. To notify me that I may be speaking with someone that is unhealthy for me. And these conversations kind of feel like you're banging your head against the wall, Not always because understanding is impossible. But because genuine understanding would require acknowledging the other person as a separate human being with equally valid needs, Feelings, Boundaries, Or perspectives, Not objectifying the other person. But when that acknowledgment threatens the dynamic and changes the power, The conversation may keep looping while the underlying expectation remains unchanged. I would spend every waking hour. Trying to read books, Speak to therapists, Speak to other people so that I could come up with the exactly right, Perfect way to describe something to my audience. X. Without realizing that if someone wants to understand you, They will. No matter how you say something, If someone has the desire to understand you, They will ask you enough questions until they get to the point where they understand you. But someone who is committed to misunderstanding you, No matter what you say or how you say it. There will not be an understanding met because there's not that intention. For me personally, If I don't understand what someone is saying, I sit there with them and I keep asking questions until I get it. So just please remember. If someone wants to understand you, They will. And if someone does not want to understand you, They won't.