This guided meditation for men is for the man who is still trying to earn something from a man who may never say it.
So find somewhere comfortable to sit.
And take a slow,
Deep breath in through the nose.
And exhale slowly through the mouth.
And gently.
Close your eyes.
Now we're going to begin with the physiological side.
And we'll do this three times.
To take a slow deep breath in through the nose.
Set.
Release.
As we release the past.
Take another slow deep breath in Just sip,
Release.
As we release the future.
Take one more slow,
Deep breath in.
Sip.
Release.
As we come in to the present.
Now just let your breath happen naturally.
Don't try to control it.
Just make the breath out.
A little longer than the breath it takes.
Nothing forced.
Just take your time letting it go.
Notice where your weight is right now.
The contact between your body and what's holding you.
Notice how much of you has already been supported by something that isn't you.
Let the jaw relax.
The shoulders relax.
The hands go heavy.
Your whole body go heavy.
Take another slow breath in.
And release.
There's a particular kind of drive this meditation is for.
Not the drive of a man chasing something he wants.
The drive of a man who is still,
Somewhere underneath it,
Trying to make a phone call land differently than it did 20 or 30 years ago.
He wins.
He builds things.
People are impressed.
And there is a part of him that is still checking.
Even now.
Even mid-success.
Whether it actually counted.
Whether it was enough.
Whether if his father was watching right now,
That this would finally be the thing.
Sometimes the father is God.
Sometimes it's still around and it changes nothing.
The checking still happens.
Sometimes the sun couldn't tell you what is actually still waiting to hit.
Only that some part of every win still feels unfinished.
He doesn't think of this as waiting for his father.
He thinks of it as ambition.
Take a slow breath in.
Slowly out.
I want you to see if you can find in the body where that feeling lives.
Not the thought of it.
The actual physical place.
It might be in the chest.
A specific kind of age.
Like reaching for something that keeps arriving a second too late.
It might be in the jaw.
Something clenched around words that never got said in either direction.
It may even be lower.
A tightness that has been there so long that it stopped registering as anything at all.
Don't work it out.
Just find it.
Stay with it exactly as it is.
Don't try to shift it or make it useful.
Just keep your attention there.
Notice what it wants to do.
And it wants to pull away.
If there's an urge right now to open your eyes.
To tell yourself that this isn't about him anymore.
You've dealt with it.
And this doesn't apply to you.
Don't follow any of those.
Just stay here.
Take another slow breath in through the nose.
And slowly out through the mouth.
Notice that it hasn't killed you.
Was still here.
Still breathing.
Still as capable as you were before you sat down.
Nothing broke.
This is the part that most men never reach.
You didn't build this because something's wrong with you.
Most men carry some version of a scoreboard that nobody else can see.
You built this because,
A long time ago,
You worked out exactly what it took to get noticed.
Not loved unconditionally.
Toughness.
Not needing anything from anyone.
Being the one who didn't need help.
So you became him.
The one who could hold his own.
Who didn't flinch.
Keep going.
And it worked.
And got you seen.
And got you something that might have looked like pride,
Or at least the absence of disappointment.
But the standard you built yourself around was never actually about what you were capable of.
It was about what got a reaction out of one specific man.
And a scoreboard built to satisfy someone else never has a final number.
That's not a flaw on you.
That's just what happens when the metric was never yours to begin with.
Take your breath in and release.
And let the breath do what words can't.
And bring to mind a younger version of yourself.
Whatever age this started at.
Whoever old you were,
The first time you understood exactly.
.
.
What you'd have to become to be noticed.
Don't try to fix him.
Don't try to explain anything to him.
See ya.
Notice his face.
What does his face look like?
Take a slow breath in.
And out.
Notice what he needed to hear back then,
And that he's probably still waiting on it.
And from his father.
The man he became.
To say what it needs to hear.
In your own head.
Whatever it is.
Take a breath in and let go.
Feel what it's like for that boy.
To hear it from someone who was actually there.
He's not years away.
He's what's left once the scoreboard stops being the only way that you know your own worth.
Take a breath in.
.
.
And slowly out through the mouth.
At some point today.
You'll catch yourself checking whether it's enough.
Whether it counts.
Whether somebody specific would finally be satisfied.
When you notice it.
Put both feet flat on the floor and press down for a second.
Feel the flow take you away.
And say to yourself quietly,
His verdict isn't the final word on me.
Take another breath in.
And release.
And gently start to bring your attention back to your body.
Notice the chair beneath you.
The air around you.
Notice your breath.
Gently wiggle your fingers and your toes.
And maybe a little stretch.
Some gentle movement to your head.
And when you're ready,
You can slowly open your eyes.
Stay seated for another moment before you reach for your phone.
And just be present in this feeling.
