This guided meditation for men is for the man who could fill a room and still feel like no one in it actually knows him.
So find somewhere to sit.
And take a slow,
Deep breath in through the nose.
And exhale slowly through the mouth.
And gently.
Close down your eyes.
Now we're going to begin with the physiological side.
And we're going to do this three times.
Take a slow,
Deep breath in through the nose.
Sip release as we release the pause.
Take another slow deep breath in.
That's it.
Release.
As we release the future.
Take one more slow,
Deep breath in.
Sip.
Release.
As we come in.
To the present.
Now just let your breath happen naturally.
Don't try to control it.
For the next few minutes.
Just make the breath out.
A little longer than their breath in.
Nothing forced.
Just take your time letting it go.
Notice where your weight is right now.
The contact between your body and what's holding you.
Notice how much of you.
Is already being supported.
By something that isn't near me.
Allow your jaw to relax.
Allow your shoulders to relax.
Let your hands go heavy.
Like your whole body.
You're heavy.
Take another slow deep breath in.
And release.
There's a particular kind of alone that this meditation is for.
Not the alone of a man with no one around him.
Most of the men this is for have plenty of people around them.
A partner.
A group chat that never stops.
People would say if you asked them that they know him really well.
This is the alone of a man who is in the room.
Laughing at the right moment.
Saying the right thing.
It still feels like he's watching it from somewhere outside himself.
Nobody can see it.
Because there's nothing to see.
Is not withdrawn.
He's not cold.
He sure is up.
And his good company.
But somewhere in the last few years.
Without deciding to.
He stopped letting anyone go the way in.
Not one bad experience.
Just a slow closing.
A door that got easier to leave shut.
And to keep open.
He could go through his whole phone right now and not find one person that he'd call at two in the morning to tell the actual truth to.
Take a slow deep breath in.
And slowly out.
Now see if you can find in the body where that lives.
It might be in the throat.
A tightness.
Like something that's been ready to be said for a long time and never was.
It might be in the chest.
Not sure.
She's Tolo.
The way a room feels different after everyone's left it.
It may even be lower.
In the stomach.
Quiet ache with no clear cause.
Don't work it out.
Just find it.
Stay with it exactly as it is.
Don't try to shift it.
And make it useful.
Just keep your attention there.
Notice what it wants to do.
If it wants to pull away.
If there's an urge right now to open your eyes and just get on with the day.
To tell yourself that you're fine.
You've got plenty of people around you.
This doesn't apply to you.
Don't follow any of those.
Just stay.
Take another slow breath in through the nose.
And slowly out through the mouth.
And notice.
You're still here.
The uncomfortability hasn't killed you.
This is the part that most men never reach.
You didn't end up here because something's wrong with you.
Plenty of men have people around them and they still feel this.
You ended up here because of a decision you made a long time ago.
And one you probably don't remember making.
At some point,
You worked out that being fully known was a risk.
Not a dramatic one.
Just.
If someone saw all of you.
They might see the parts that don't hold up.
So we let people close.
But not all the way.
Enough for company.
But not enough to be found out.
And it worked.
No one got close enough to be disappointed.
And nobody got close enough to really leave either.
Because they were never really all the way in to begin with.
But there was something on the other side of that deal.
A version of you that wanted to be known completely.
Not managed.
Not perform for.
Just know.
Take a slow breath in.
And release.
And let the breath do what words can't.
Then bring to mind a version of you who is still exactly where you are.
Same life?
Same people around him.
But there's one person in it who actually knows him.
Not the performance.
I want you to pick the actual room.
See the light in it.
See the furniture in it.
See that version of you sitting across from someone.
Not managing what he says.
And not checking how it lands.
Now notice his face.
What do you see in his face?
Take another slow breath in.
And out.
Notice how different he looks from the version of you that walked in here today.
He's not Waco.
And not less than.
Just don't.
Known for a moment.
Instead of watched.
Take a slow breath in.
And let it go completely.
Feel what it's like to be a man who is actually seen.
Not in my head.
Is not years away.
Is what's left when you let one person see past the version of you that everyone else gets.
Take a breath in.
Nice and slow.
And out slowly through the mouth.
At some point today,
You'll have a chance to let someone see slightly more of you than you would usually allow.
And use a real ad zone.
Instead of I'm good.
Give one true sentence.
Instead of the version that just keeps things easy.
And when that moment comes.
Put both feet flat on the floor.
And press down for a second.
Feel the floor take you away.
And say to yourself.
I don't have to be unreachable.
Take another slow breath in.
And release.
And start to bring your attention back to your body.
Notice the chair beneath you.
The air around you.
Notice your breath.
Gently wiggle your fingers and your toes.
Maybe stretch a little.
Some gentle movement to your head.
When you're ready.
You can slowly open your eyes.
Now stay seated for another moment before you reach for your phone.
Just be present.
In this feeling.
