Understanding The Ups And Downs Of A Teenager

The teenage years are full of emotional ups and downs, and that can be just as overwhelming for parents as it is for teenagers. In this talk, you’ll discover why these fluctuations are a normal part of being human, how to avoid getting pulled into the problem alongside your teen, and how staying grounded can help them navigate their emotions with greater confidence and resilience.

Transcript

Understanding the ups and downs of a teenager. Hello and welcome. The teen years are messy and chaotic and wonderful and painful and heart-wrenching and all the emotions you could possibly imagine. When our children are small, We are mesmerised by their ability to flow in and out of emotions. With not a lot of judgement. But when they hit the teen years, We seem to expect them to know a little better and behave in a more adult way. But In the same way toddlers can't help it, Teens can't either. It's their humanness and being human can be really messy. This messiness, And I'm not talking about the state of their bedroom. Is how they learn and they grow. But if they aren't okay, We as parents go into a bit of a panic. We label it as bad and desperately run around, Smoothing things over so that they don't become anxious or angry or moody or sad. How many times have you got completely caught up in the weeds of your child's problem, Where you think about it on repeat? You can't sleep or focus on anything. Only to find your teenager has come out of the mood or sorted the problem. But you're left feeling absolutely battered and they're fine. How would it feel if you could zoom out and you could watch it play out without trying to fix? When we get into the weeds with them. It confirms to them that there's a problem. Things happen in life. There are fallouts and breakups and bad grades and grief and parents divorcing. Unfortunately, We can't make sure they never have to experience anything like that. But that's part of the miracle of being human. There are a huge range of emotions and situations that they get to feel and experience. We wouldn't want to ride a flat, Straight roller coaster. That would be boring. So surely helping them to be in the experience and riding it all is better than panicking and trying to change their experience. Help them to feel into it. It's safe to feel anything. We label the emotions, But they're all the same thing, A sensation in their body. How do they know it's anxiety or sadness without their thinking mind telling them so? Ask them how they know it's anxiety or depression. What if we didn't even need to get them out of the feeling? Could you be okay with that? Could you be okay with their humanness, As messy as it is? When we can see their ups and downs as humans, We can be grateful for the highs and graceful with the lows, Knowing that we will always have both. Aiming for constant highs is not allowing them to embrace being human. We need contrast. We couldn't have up without down, Or hot without cold. And just know that we always learn the most important lessons from the lows. When we're not so in our heads, We are the most helpful we can possibly be. So don't feel bad if you're not worrying. It's the best parenting you could ever do. Being there, Totally grounded and calm. So that your teenager can ride that rollercoaster and feel every twist and turn, Loop the loop and drop, Knowing that you are there. Holding space for them to be as messy and human as they need to be. For this experience to flow all the way through. Thank you for listening. Take care.