Understanding panic attacks so I can help my teenager.
Hello and welcome.
Panic attacks can be really scary,
Especially when it's your child having one.
All we want to do as a parent is to make it stop and make sure that they're happy and healthy and suffering as little as possible.
So what should you do if your teenager has started to have panic attacks?
When your child has been struggling with anxiety,
Unless they're given the right help and advice,
The anxiety can become so intense that their system takes over.
The message humans have been given over the years has been that if we feel anxious we need to do something to get rid of it.
It shouldn't be felt and there's something wrong.
We have a huge amount of resistance and that's what holds it in place and makes it worse.
The more we push it down,
Or try not to feel it,
The bigger and more intense it feels.
I'm sure you've all heard the phrase,
Whatever we resist persists,
So we fight it.
And it just comes up again and again and again.
If we were able to feel that feeling without labelling it as bad,
It would be allowed.
The moment of feeling is allowed.
It's not the same.
Have you ever tried arguing with someone who doesn't argue back?
It just subsides and loses all its power and strength.
This is exactly what happens when we let the feeling of anxiety be there.
It's only called anxiety because our mind has called it that.
It's a sensation that's been linked to an anxious thought.
This talk is about how to help your team when they are experiencing panic attacks.
The basis is the same.
The feelings in the body need to flow all the way through.
And where your teen has been battling with the anxiety,
It's never been allowed to flow all the way through.
So it just keeps on happening.
Getting stronger and stronger.
Then a panic attack happens,
Which looks and feels like it's awful.
But what if it's just the body taking over so it can flow through?
I had my share of panic attacks as a teen,
And after a long while,
I read an article in a magazine which said,
If you're having panic attacks,
The best thing to do is to let them happen.
This sounded terrifying,
But I tried everything else and I was desperate.
I had one one day,
And as it was starting,
I just encouraged it,
Almost like a bring it on approach.
It felt weird,
But it was a lot easier than my normal reaction.
Allowing it to happen was actually the thing that lessened the intensity.
If you think of a fast river flowing.
If you try to stop it,
It would be really hard work.
But if you allowed it to flow on its own,
It would just do what it's meant to do and you could just relax.
This is the message I want you to put across to your teen whenever they are frightened of the panic attack.
Tell them that it's safe.
That their body is just taking over in that moment.
Tell them to trust it and that we are made perfectly.
A bit like the way we let our skin repair itself when we cut ourselves.
This is the same.
Tell them to go with it and let it happen.
If it's too much for them,
It's OK.
There's no pressure.
There's no pressure to make them see this.
You're just planting the seed.
Helping them to see that there could possibly be another way.
And if they feel like they don't want to do it or they need a doctor,
Then that's okay too.
There's no right or wrong here.
For me.
After allowing it,
I never had a panic attack again.
And there was even something different about the anxiety.
It just felt like there was more space to breathe.
Just by knowing their bodies are made to handle this is reassuring.
Thank you for listening.
Take care.
