Welcome to this mini meditation for hair pulling.
This meditation is designed to be used after you have pulled when you may be in need of comfort,
Support,
Or a reset.
So you've pulled your hair out.
Now what?
The most important thing you can do right now is try to soften and show yourself compassion.
This is your gentle reminder that change or developing any new pattern takes lots of practice and is usually very gradual.
If you're feeling impatient or rushed about change,
Ask yourself if there's any space to slow down and participate in the journey.
Change is hard and it takes time,
Often more time than we would like.
We can soften this truth by choosing to view these moments as learning opportunities rather than failures.
The goal is not to be perfect or never mess up.
The goal is to keep learning and growing.
So ask yourself,
What can I learn from this?
Notice what feelings are coming up for you right now.
Are you feeling guilt,
Shame,
Embarrassment,
Frustration,
Or anger?
What about compassion or curiosity?
Is there any room for that?
Pulling often brings up a lot of uncomfortable emotions and self-criticism,
So if you're experiencing any of this,
Ask yourself if you can set that judgment aside.
Can you allow it to be there without it being the main focus?
Are you able to extend some warmth or kindness to yourself in this moment?
It may be helpful to consider that your pulling served a purpose.
It meant a need.
You received some kind of benefit from it.
Even if the effect is frustrating or unwanted,
The intention behind the behavior was likely to help soothe you when you were feeling out of balance.
Sometimes we end up pulling out of habit or simply from muscle memory.
Your brain knows this behavior well.
It feels comfortable,
Familiar.
Change requires effort,
And maybe your attention was focused on something else.
Whatever the reason,
You have the opportunity right now to start over and try again.
I'm going to guide you through a breathing technique called 4-7-8 breathing that can help you transition from stress to rest mode.
The great thing about this practice is that it leads to physiologic changes in your body,
Slowing your heart and lowering your blood pressure,
Which promotes relaxation.
For this method,
We're going to breathe in for a count of 4,
Hold for a count of 7,
And exhale for a count of 8.
I'll guide you.
Inhale,
2,
3,
4,
Hold,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
Exhale,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8.
Inhale,
2,
3,
4,
Hold,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
Exhale,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8.
Inhale,
2,
3,
4,
Hold,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
Exhale,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8.
Good.
Now,
Take in a regular breath and blow it out.
The value of this technique is in the exhale being longer than the inhale,
So if you don't like the count,
Feel free to focus on inhale,
Hold,
Long exhale.
Now that your body has started to relax,
Check again to see if there's any judgment present.
If so,
Can you try to set this judgment aside?
You may find that the answer is different from when we started.
Is there any room for compassion towards yourself at this time?
Is there any space to see your pulling as an effective coping tool,
But one that you'd like to exchange for something else?
If you can't feel self-compassion right now,
Imagine feeling compassion towards someone you care about,
And sit with that feeling for a moment.
Can you forgive yourself for pulling when a part of you needed soothing,
But other parts didn't want this?
Maybe one day you'll even be able to thank or show appreciation towards the pulling for jumping in to help you regulate.
Finally,
Let's choose a mantra to guide you for the rest of your day.
You may choose something like,
I am kind to myself,
Or I am patient with change,
Or any other statement that resonates with you.
Now I invite you to celebrate yourself for doing this practice today,
Especially if it was difficult for you.
Take a moment to sit with how that feels.
May you be good company to yourself today.
