Do you use affirmations to raise your confidence,
To believe in yourself,
To think and be more positive,
To call in abundance in your life,
And do you repeat your affirmations religiously every day and yet you don't see the results you want?
If so,
You are not alone.
I've seen and heard so many affirmations in the last couple of years and most of the time I think,
No,
That's not quite right.
So today I want to share with you three reasons why your affirmations might not work.
Some of my clients use affirmations and this is what I teach them.
And I hope it will help you to get the best out of your affirmations.
So let's start with the question,
What are affirmations?
And I have two answers for you.
The first one is affirmations trick your brain into a new or different reality.
That's why you do them.
You want to change your current state to a better and improved,
A positive state.
So you tell your brain about the future state you want to be in.
Secondly,
Affirmations are I am statements.
I am,
That's your identity.
You identify yourself with these thoughts.
You probably know the picture of the iceberg in the water.
So the peak is above the water level,
But the big chunk is underneath the water level.
Above the water level is your conscious.
Everything you are aware,
Like your feelings,
What you hear,
What you see,
What decisions you make,
That's up there.
Underneath the water level is your subconscious,
Your values,
Your beliefs,
Your filters on how you interpret the world around you.
And at the bottom of that iceberg,
So very,
Very,
Very deep down in your subconscious,
That's where your identity sits.
And that's where you send these I am statements to.
So this is the reason why your I am statements should follow some key points to work at their best.
So they get embedded into your subconscious,
All the way down to the bottom,
To the core of who you are.
So the number one reason your affirmations don't work is because of the way they are stated.
The ground rule for affirmations is short,
Positive and stated in the present.
Keep it short.
There's no need for you to write a novel,
Rather a couple of short sentences all starting with I am.
Keep it positive.
That is because your brain doesn't process negatives.
When you affirm I am not going to blame myself today,
Your brain only hears I am going to blame myself today.
And that's not what we want.
So don't do it.
Another example is even though I feel scared and overwhelmed,
I am able to get through this.
Be careful.
This is a sentence you would use in EFT or tapping.
This is not a sentence you want to use for your affirmations.
Acknowledging your feelings is great.
Do it.
But when you practice your affirmations,
You want to empower yourself.
So we keep it short and positive.
Stated in the present.
Using our first example,
I am not going to blame myself today.
So we know that our brain doesn't process negatives and additionally to that,
This sentence isn't stated in the present.
Alternatively,
To have your affirmations short,
Positive and stated in the present,
You could say I am respectful and compassionate towards myself and others.
So let's move on to the second reason your affirmations don't work.
And that's because they are not aligned with you.
You are not aligned with them.
There are so many lists that you can use to start with affirmations.
But whichever affirmation you want to use,
Make sure you are aligned with it.
And what I mean by that is that you make sure you pay attention to these two things.
The first one is use sentences or tweak them so they speak your language in the sense of use words that you are actually using in your day-to-day life.
Like for an example,
If you never use the word empowered,
Don't try to use it now.
But rather use strong or motivated.
Pick words that you are familiar with.
Because when you use a new word,
You don't have a connection with it yet.
So it makes it harder for your subconscious to connect with it and to make it your identity.
Secondly,
Use sentences that express what you really want.
Going back to the example,
I am respectful and compassionate towards myself and others.
If you don't feel a lack of respect and compassion for yourself and others,
There is no need for you to affirm it.
Pick affirmations that reflect what you truly want.
And know that I am statements at first can feel unfamiliar.
And this is because you are not used to these kind of positive words about yourself,
About who you want to become.
On the other hand,
If it feels off,
It's because your statement doesn't fit.
The glove just simply doesn't fit.
You are not aligned with what you are saying.
Either the wording or the meaning or maybe both of it.
Let me share with you a personal example about feeling off.
And that's a couple of years ago when I started my business.
The coaches I worked with suggested affirmations for me to become a proper businesswoman.
They suggested I should say,
I am the queen of sales.
Now this affirmation simply felt off.
That's not me.
Not what I want to be.
I use the word queen when I talk about the queen.
But apart from that,
I don't use it and my interpretation of the word doesn't fit with me being the queen.
I have no desire to be the queen nor to be called the queen.
So that didn't work for me.
I had to find a different word.
Let's move on to the third reason your affirmations don't work.
And that's because of your previous or current beliefs.
Now here's the thing.
When you start using I am statements,
It's usually because you want to change your current thinking about yourself.
You want to think more positively about yourself.
As I said at the beginning,
You trick your brain to believe in a different reality.
But for years,
Even decades maybe,
You have been telling yourself,
I am overwhelmed.
I am bad at this.
I am stupid.
I am lonely.
I am incapable.
There was a lot of self-shaming and self-blaming.
And all of those statements have become your identity.
They are at the bottom of your iceberg.
You believe them.
So what you are trying to do is to override your current identity with a new identity.
You sprinkle your little positivity into the negativity that you've built up over the years.
And with time,
Yes,
You can change that negative identity.
But what usually happens is that you chant your mantras and then there is this little voice in your head that questions each and every one of your statements.
You chant louder.
You chant stronger.
You chant more enthusiastically.
Yet,
That voice comes and questions your statement.
What you could do is to create your affirmations so that they are not too far off from your reality,
From your current reality.
What I mean by that is that they are different and there is a positive improvement from your current state.
But you don't go all out.
As an example,
If your current belief is,
I am ugly and hate my body,
You could start with affirming,
I am okay and accept my body.
Instead of going all the way out and saying,
I am amazing and love my body.
And when you believe you are okay,
You move on to the next steps.
That's maybe,
I am good.
And then after good comes amazing.
So pick a word,
A statement that is a bit further than your current state,
Yet still somehow believable.
Little steps for long-lasting results.
So let's recap.
Number one,
Your affirmations don't work because they are not stated correctly.
Keep them short,
Keep them positive and keep them stated in the present.
Number two,
You are not aligned with them.
So what you do is you use your language and affirm what's important to you.
Number three,
It's because of your previous or current beliefs.
So create your affirmation so it's easy for you to believe in them.
And with that,
We've come to the end of this class.
I hope this was helpful.
And if you have any questions,
Please send me a message.
So thank you for your time and take care.
