I'm Ali Mills and this is a meditation for when caring responsibilities feel like they're holding you still.
When your life may feel on pause because you're caring for somebody,
Somebody else,
Somebody that you are responsible for.
As a caregiver myself I've been caring for my mum with dementia now for a long time.
I can completely identify with this and sometimes it is,
It's really hard.
So I want to share this meditation with you not to try and fix or change your situation but as a recognition,
You know,
A quiet pause,
A space of self-compassion and joint compassion from me to you.
So if you can I would always recommend seeing if you can take some time out from your responsibility.
Just a change of room or somewhere where you can feel comfortable for this short pocket of time that is your time to rest and rejuvenate,
Rejuvenate sorry,
You know,
Somewhere where you can be undisturbed.
Maybe wearing an eye mask,
Maybe wearing headphones.
This is your time now and it's important that you can feel comfortable in this space and safe.
And you may want to lie down and get really comfortable with cushions or maybe sit on a chair somewhere that you feel more supported where you can be more alert.
But really feel into what you need right now,
You know,
Feel into what it is that will give you most support in these few moments.
And as we begin to settle wherever you've found yourself,
Welcome yourself to this space.
Welcome yourself to this time where you are right now.
You may choose to close your eyes or simply soften your gaze as you begin to connect to your breath by taking a couple of deep breaths in and out.
And as you do,
Take the breath a little deeper into the body.
And as you breathe out,
Allow that breath to move out slowly.
This is a signal to your nervous system.
It's time to pause now,
Time to slow down.
So do that again in your own time,
In your own way.
Breathing out really slowly before coming back to soft and easy breaths.
As you begin to acknowledge your situation and where you are,
Your caring responsibilities,
You may notice that you are on hold,
That you are on high alert.
And in this space you may notice that the rest of the world is still moving around you.
Everything and everyone moving on from day to day.
And maybe you notice how your emotions and your body responds to this.
And you may notice subtle thoughts and judgements moving through your system.
You may notice where you are holding on to judgements,
What life should look like and if only things were different.
And this can take us into a downward spiral of life not being right and things not being fair.
So maybe if it feels okay,
Offering a gentle invitation of letting go of any comparisons or judgement.
Judgements of how it could be if you didn't have this caring commitment.
And acknowledging and maybe letting go of comparisons of other people and their lives or any internal assessment or in a critical dialogue of how you are doing at the moment.
You are noticing all that comes up.
And you are offering and inviting gentle breath to move with your experience as you breathe in.
And out.
And as we breathe gently and soothingly into the body we may loosen the jaw,
The shoulders and any points of pressure or tension.
Maybe between your eyebrows or your forehead.
And there is no force or control here,
No way to get this wrong.
We are simply noticing and inviting a gentle softness to move into the system as an act of self-care.
And your mind may still kick in with how it is for you now.
The mind is always there trying to protect you and you may slip into noticing how it feels when other people talk about their plans,
Their weekends away,
Their holidays,
Their new beginnings.
And you may notice how you are still here,
Still showing up your commitment to your caring responsibilities.
And you are still showing up and you are still working with caring intention.
And this stillness isn't any laziness or lack of ambition.
It simply is how it is right now.
This is the kind of stillness that is holding someone up,
That is keeping things going quietly behind closed doors.
This stillness is bending around other people's needs,
Their routines,
The medication,
The confusion,
The long nights and disrupted days.
And as you breathe gently,
Maybe taking one hand over your heart and one hand over your belly,
You notice that all you do is full of compassion and every day you show up,
You are showing up with resilience.
And you notice that even though it can feel hard and still and stuck,
That it's full of devotion.
And breathe.
Knowing that it is okay.
Sometimes it feels like a loss,
A loss of freedom,
A loss of movement,
And a loss of choice.
It's a balancing act.
You can feel deep compassion and care and grief together,
All in the same moment.
You can deeply care and be full of sadness.
And you can be wanting to remain with your caring responsibilities,
But also have desires to be somewhere else.
And this is okay.
Knowing no comparison,
No judgment.
Coming back to the present of your breath as it moves.
Rolling breath as you inhale and exhale.
This breath is yours.
This moment is yours.
And in this moment,
Nothing needs to change.
And in this moment,
No one needs anything from you.
And maybe there's a realization that nothing needs to change for you to be gentler with your experience.
You don't have to like it.
You don't even need to accept it.
What you are noticing is that you can meet the day without bracing.
Coming back to the breath time and time again.
This is the practice.
And if you're listening to this,
Know that you are doing an amazing job simply by being here in this moment.
And when you are ready,
Gently congratulating and giving yourself a nod of self-compassion,
For taking part in this meditation.
You can gently begin to open your eyes.
Noticing the room around you.
Again,
Noticing the support beneath you.
And gently invite yourself to carry this softness with you when you can.
Maybe not all of it,
But just a little as you move back into your day.
Seeing if you can treat yourself with the same care and compassion you would offer others,
Your loved ones,
Maybe a pet.
And even just a few moments like this each day can make a massive difference to your whole physical being.
It supports your nervous system.
Gives you space to be with what is without pushing it away.
This is Ally Mills sending care and compassion to your experience.
Bye for now.
