Live Honestly
In this session we discuss one of the principles of taking yourself from surviving to thriving: "Live Honestly" - Highlighting how being true to ourselves is the key to progression. An honest life is one that is in alignment with the self and with reality, and thus positivity will follow leading to your highest potential.
Transcript
Live Honestly This principle speaks to a few different truths.
The first one is the direct sort of meaning,
The literal meaning of live honestly,
Aka don't lie.
Don't lie to yourself and don't lie to others.
Now this isn't necessarily a moral guidance for moral guidance's sake,
But it's practical.
A liar,
A deceitful person has to remember so much of what has been said to everyone,
Who knows what about what,
Holding all of that in mind and making up scenarios to fit with what they remember,
People remembering about the situation that they're talking about and what they want to manufacture and how to best get it.
This is a lot of mental work that is quite simply unnecessary and also very challenging to pull off.
The honest person on the other hand,
The person who doesn't lie,
The person who speaks what they feel and interacts with people honestly,
The person who puts down the mask,
That person merely needs to be,
That person merely needs to speak truth just to remember what actually happened and say it,
What they actually feel and speak it.
There's no games,
No pretense,
The mental load is significantly reduced.
But what's more than that is people have a very clear radar as to who isn't authentic both to themselves and to one another and to the world.
It is very easy to know when someone is trying to get something from you,
It's very easy to know when someone is trying to use you or take something from you or are just wanting a once again there is nothing wrong with having transactional relationships,
You do it every day,
You transact every time you go to a supermarket,
You spend money to buy food,
There's very minimal relationship there and that's okay,
That's the social construct,
That's the dynamic,
That's what you've agreed to and if that's what you agree to openly and honestly with someone that yeah,
You're here for this,
I'm here for that,
Let's do it,
That's fine because there's no dishonesty there.
But when one person is trying to deceive the other,
Trying to use them,
To try and get something from them,
Most of us realize it and we pull away and these people might have a little bit of success but ultimately they will find themselves alone and unsuccessful.
If you want to thrive,
Honesty is the best policy because you'll start to discover people around you are very appreciative of your truth,
They will see you as a breath of fresh air,
They'll see you as a beautiful mirror that reflects the truth that they're craving,
They'll see you as a point of difference in a world of deceit,
They'll see that you are living by your truth and what's more you will be living by your truth so you won't be deceiving yourself.
We talked about in the previous sessions of it all being on you and to know and accept yourself.
If you know and accept yourself you know who you are,
You know what you want,
You know where you're going,
You know what you're good at and what you're not good at so you're not deceiving yourself.
It is very easy to think more or less of yourself and then to have your life turn out certain ways because you didn't make the right choices,
Because you were tricking yourself into thinking something that you aren't.
Live honestly with yourself and with others.
This principle also suggests or speaks to the idea of developing a moral code to live by.
Now some people will have guidance from their religion or their spirituality or some other source and if that's you then great,
Live by it if and only if it speaks to your core truth.
Chances are that there are aspects of that code that aren't quite hitting home or that you need a little bit of a nuance or that doesn't quite make sense in your current context and if you don't have an external source of guidance like that as most people don't seem to,
Come up with your own.
Find what makes your life better to give you the ability to act when you can't quite figure it out logically or emotionally.
It's like a decision-making process.
If you know that someone like you,
The best version of you,
The person you want to be acts in a certain way in certain situations,
Then that will become your honest truth because you've sat and you've meditated and you've decided on who and what the optimal version,
The ideal version of you is going to be.
This speaks to the idea of knowing and accepting yourself.
What does you value?
What do you want?
What do you see as right?
Because if you know that in the heat of a moment,
In the middle of a decision,
If you know what is right or wrong,
Then you will make the highest level choice for yourself.
There are a couple of guidances here that I can offer and the caveat is this is what I go by.
I'm not in any way saying that you should.
I'm saying that you should find your own set of guidances,
Your own set of morals,
Your own code to live by so that you can live as honestly to yourself,
To your highest self.
The simplest version came from a Vipassana course that I undertook and the moral code simply put was this,
Do good,
Don't do bad and purify the mind.
Now obviously you could critique this.
That's very simplistic.
What does good mean?
What does bad mean?
What does it mean to purify the mind?
What does any of that mean?
And that's part of the discovery of knowing and accepting yourself,
Of introspection.
But to me,
It makes sense.
There are clear cases of what's good and bad and when we're not sure,
We sit and meditate,
Sit and listen to the silence.
We pray.
We do what we can to purify the mind and then the answer will come.
Now yes,
That might mean that I might make a choice now that I would have thought was good but might actually be bad upon deeper reflection,
Upon more knowledge.
But that's okay.
Later in life,
When I realise that,
I rectify the choices.
Do good,
Don't do bad,
Purify the mind.
That's one option.
Another option would be to think a little bit deeper.
I've memorised a mantra or a prayer that I say to myself daily as a reminder of all that I value.
Each one of these phrases and every part of this has an elaborate meaning that goes well beyond this session.
But I'm going to share it with you with the idea that you can come up with what you value so that you can remind yourself daily so that when you come down to a place or a choice or a decision or an interaction,
You know what your highest self wants.
My mantra,
My prayer,
My guidance for my highest,
Deepest,
Intuitive self goes like this.
Be present.
For now is all that exists.
Grow,
Enjoy and act morally.
Drop your ego.
Listen,
Empathise and forgive.
Trust your intuition and be compassionate.
Nothing more is within your control.
Let it go and just feel.
Accept.
Be present.
For now is all that exists.
Grow,
Enjoy and act morally.
Drop your ego.
Listen,
Empathise and forgive.
Trust your intuition and be compassionate.
Nothing more is within your control.
Let it go and just feel.
Accept.
That's my code.
That's what I live by.
By living by that,
Those statements and what they mean for me,
I'm living my honest truth.
Now you're more than welcome to take those words for yourself,
But I don't think you should.
Even though that's what I believe to be the highest truth and what I think would be good for the world,
I actually don't.
What I think truly and deeply is that for you to get to your version of surviving to thriving,
You need to work out what your version of living honestly is.
What is your truth?
If you know and accept yourself and realise that it is all on you to discover this truth,
You will find yourself sitting and contemplating and working out and saying,
Hey,
What is right and how can I do that?
What is just?
What is honourable?
What will get me to a place of surviving,
Not just externally or materially,
But internally?
When I close my eyes to sleep at night,
How will I know that I am thriving based on my inner state,
Based on my conscience,
Based on the choices I've made?
Sit and think and discover your truth so that you may live honestly.
This track is taken from my course,
From Surviving to Thriving,
Ten Principles to Turn Your Life Around.
It's out now and available on my InsightTimer profile.
I invite you to check it out.
