Namaste.
How supported do you feel?
Do you feel worthy to receive support,
Love,
Abundance from your life,
From others,
From the universe?
During my earlier journey,
I thought I was so open to wanting and having a relationship,
Yet felt continually blocked and I couldn't understand why.
It was through reflective work I saw I was essentially holding one welcoming hand saying yes,
Whilst the other hand said no.
This conflict creates a still point.
I was blocking my own desires and manifestations due to conflicting beliefs.
I realised deep down I didn't feel worthy of a relationship,
So this then became my focus,
Meeting my unworthiness so I could receive.
Why is it so easy for many to give,
Yet so hard to receive?
Why do many find it easy to receive,
Yet so hard to give?
There is a yin yang balance that all souls are seeking,
In all areas.
Giving and receiving is a monumental one.
As a testament to spiritual growth,
I met this part and transformed it,
Experiencing relationships as I allowed myself to receive.
It is an area I continue to heal due to many conflicts of beliefs that I am continually discovering.
On this spiritual path,
We can find ourselves experiencing many of these conflicts because of our definitions of what healing and empowerment is.
I deep dove into empowerment to arise from my own depression,
And however incredible that was,
It simultaneously created a strong belief that only I could heal myself.
Only I could take myself forward.
I found myself rejecting support externally and became attracted to ideas that supported my belief system,
Such as,
You have all of the answers within.
No one can heal you but you.
You are the one you've been waiting for.
Whilst these phrases are all true on some subjective level,
It doesn't need to be extreme.
It isn't meant to be polarized.
This is a big revelation.
It determines the length of the journey we take towards what we want.
The revelation asks us to be honest about our journey.
For me,
I had to honestly reflect to realize I didn't in fact single-handedly take myself out of depression.
I had immense help from others.
From books I read,
Healers,
Workshops I attended.
Even the ones I didn't resonate with helped me understand who I was and what I wanted.
The journey of empowerment is an incredibly complex one,
Yet it isn't solitary.
We live in an interactive world and we are always learning from others,
Whether we like it or not.
On a deeper level,
It means we can ask for help in many ways.
When I began to scan the rest of my life,
I realized I had it everywhere.
I thought being a healer and a spiritual guide meant I should not need outside help.
It is a strange belief that we have in all areas of society,
Ingrained within our psyche,
That asking for help is somehow weak,
That it reveals our vulnerabilities of not being somewhere we are somehow supposed to be.
That vulnerability itself is somehow wrong.
As I began to reach out to others,
I realized the power of being lifted up.
It offers us pure acceleration.
I had to climb down off a mantle I had created for myself,
Which had always been impossible to attain.
It had always simultaneously created immense anxiety and inauthenticity.
The relief alone was immense and I know many,
Many healers,
Teachers and guides who go through this process.
Depending upon your personality,
Upbringing,
Belief system,
You will have your own unique perspective on what you should receive and what you shouldn't.
What others should receive.
What you need to do before you deserve to receive.
What is fair in life and what is unfair.
There are many streams this river can take us towards and one of them is self-worth.
Not feeling worthy to receive blocks what is rightfully ours.
From others,
From life,
From the universe.
You deserve to receive.
Just take a moment and take a deep breath in,
A deep breath out and repeat these words internally or externally.
I deserve to receive.
I deserve to receive.
I deserve to receive.
It may feel liberating.
It may feel challenging.
It may even feel shameful to say it.
This shame is related to many factors.
Shame for wanting more.
Shame for having more than others.
Perhaps shame for not suffering like we perceive others to be.
Shame for even asking for help.
Shame in not being able to do it on our own.
Shame is intrinsic in healing our relationship with receiving.
So how does support fit into this?
A few years ago I had a sudden irrational fear of ceilings or floors beneath me collapsing.
If I was on a second or third floor I would feel like it would collapse if I brought too much luggage into the room.
It quickly spread and I felt that beds would collapse when I got onto them.
During this time I experienced a strong earthquake whilst in Bali that shook the building so violently the walls and floors waved like water.
Luckily everyone was okay yet it was a clear sign the universe was speaking to me and I needed to listen.
This fear was related to support.
Feeling supported by the floor equated to feeling supported in life by the universe.
I realised for a long time I hadn't felt supported by the universe.
I had worked so hard and tried to follow all of the spiritual rules yet everything in my life was so challenging.
I had experienced so many hardships with money,
Projects,
Relationships,
Businesses.
There were always mighty challenges that left me feeling unsupported.
Over time this feeling of being unsupported,
Despite my seeming faith,
Was manifesting through this fear.
It was here that I realised I had lost my faith and it initially frightened me to admit that.
Yet this was okay.
I realised I was lost and this was okay.
I was tired and frustrated and trying to do everything right yet nothing felt right or was going right and this was okay.
It led me to a place of surrendering my deeper spiritual beliefs and revolutionise my spirituality.
I explore this in my Living in the Mystery course which you can find on Insight Timer.
Yet the point here is that it highlighted my dysfunctional relationship with support.
I wasn't receiving support because I didn't feel worthy of being supported.
At a deeper level I didn't feel adequate of supporting myself.
I didn't feel I had the know-how to support myself.
We all learn to support ourselves based on the upbringing we have.
If we aren't taught vital skills in learning how to support ourselves,
Then of course how could we know?
This isn't about blaming what we didn't receive,
Which is another aspect of this healing process.
It is about learning the wisdom to apply this to ourselves now.
The first step towards supporting ourselves is to believe we can.
This may seem simple yet is perhaps the hardest aspect.
To believe we can support ourselves is the essence of empowerment.
It is to know we can handle our experiences.
We can adapt to them.
We can transform them.
We can be resourceful enough to create the foundations upon which we stand.
This takes faith in ourselves.
However the trap again is to polarise this teaching of believing we have to support ourselves on our own,
All of the time.
This leads to more struggle and suffering as we do not open to other ways of receiving.
Other much more mystical,
Interconnected,
Synchronistic ways that the universe provides.
The keys to all of this are a collection of insights,
Approaching a lack of support as life experience,
An initiation to spiritually grow from,
To also know you can ask for support to help you move through things and to reach for more,
To receive by opening the heart.
We may feel our hearts are open if we are very giving,
Yet they can only truly be open if it is flowing in both directions,
Giving and receiving.
As the saying goes,
To give to another brings great joy.
So when we receive,
We are allowing another to experience the same gift of giving.
Here we become receptive to the universe's gifts.
Manifestation and synchronicity occur when we are open to life's treasures,
By receiving.
Being receptive to the magic of life magnetizes more of this magic towards us.
This is what I have discovered since opening deeper and deeper to receiving.
Learning to receive and learning to be supported takes us into a powerful space where we open up to the universe's natural flow.
The universe wants to give to you.
The universe wants to support you.
The universe wants you to experience joy.
Do you believe it?
Can you receive it?
Blessings on your journey.
Namaste.
