Parenting Superpower #3: Managing Anxiety

The "Parenting Superpowers Toolkit" mini talks focus on strategies that are within our control. Superpower #3 is about raising your level of awareness around when you are stepping in to manage and problem solve as a way of coping with your own anxiety. The invitation is to look at when you may be working harder at something than your child is in order to help them avoid a negative consequence. Perhaps they need to experience a negative consequence to best serve their long term learning and growth. The goal is to practice taking a pause before you take action on their behalf to ask yourself, "Will this action I am about to take serve my child's long-term growth?" Or, "Am I taking this action as a way of coping with my own anxiety?" Once you know the answer to this question, you can take wise action to best care for yourself and your child.

Transcript

Welcome to another brief parenting talk in the Parenting Superpowers Toolkit series. Today we are looking at tool number three, Managing anxiety. And I'm going to read this in the first person because one of the goals here is to empower you to focus on that which is within your control. So managing anxiety falls under that category. Be theirs to navigate. And that can be really hard. We can feel anxiety arising because we're watching our child in a valley, Maybe about to stumble, Maybe about to have a failure, Miss getting something turned in on time, Something is coming up that's causing anxiety and it's hard to watch. So I encourage you to first pause and ask yourself, Whose problem is this? Ask yourself, Am I working harder than my child is? And if it's your child's problem and you're working harder than they are, Then I think that's a telltale sign that you're stepping in to manage your own anxiety and not necessarily taking action that serves your child's learning and growth. Oftentimes we'll step in to help our child avoid a negative consequence because it's really hard to watch the train sort of come off the track. But that might be where the greatest learning is for them. So becoming more aware of when we're stepping in because we are so anxious and using our problem-solving on behalf of our child as a way of coping with that anxiety. So taking all the learning that you get in the Insight Timer community from whatever teachers you follow, Your breathwork, Mindfulness, Meditation, And putting some space asking yourself whose problem is this? Am I working harder than my child? And what is going to best serve their learning and growth? And just acknowledging where you are, What you're about to do, The why behind it, And if you've determined like, Yeah, I'm stepping in because I'm feeling anxious about maybe a failure that is just about to happen, Taking that pause, Greeting yourself with some compassion and gratitude for realizing before you act and utilizing other tools that maybe you've learned through following various teachers on Insight Timer. So slowing yourself down and working to manage manage your anxiety in a way that doesn't actually become a roadblock to your child's growth and development and modeling, Right? You're modeling being able to weather their ups and downs and, Hey, I can handle it. I've got ways of coping with my anxiety. This is yours to solve. I'm here to be a thinking partner and to walk beside you. But I'm not gonna work harder than you are. And just being aware of when we're working harder as a way of managing our anxiety and inviting ourselves to choose another tool. Thank you so much for listening. I wish you all the best on your parenting journey.