How To Break Free From The Trap Of Perfectionism

Do you ever hold back from sharing your work because it’s not “perfect” yet?
Perfectionism is one of the sneakiest blocks that keeps entrepreneurs from showing up authentically and connecting with the people who need them most.

In this episode, you'll learn:

What perfectionism really is and how it disguises itself
How to recognize perfectionism even if you don’t “identify” as a perfectionist
Why it disconnects you from your authentic self and ideal audience
Practical ways to shift out of perfectionism and show up as your true self in business

You’ll also learn why authenticity is the foundation for sustainable success, especially as we move into the new global era of individuality and collaboration.

Transcript

Would you rather have your work be perfect,

Or would you rather have it be authentic?

Perfectionism is an issue that many,

If not most entrepreneurs deal with at some point in their business.

It can keep you stuck in paralysis,

Disconnected from your ideal customers,

And keep you from sharing your gifts in business,

Your authentic self,

And the strengths that you bring to the table in the way that only you can.

In today's episode,

You're going to learn what perfectionism is,

How it can disguise itself so that you're not even aware that it's a problem,

How to recognize it in yourself,

Even if you don't identify as a perfectionist,

Because it really can be quite sneaky,

And you'll get some simple practical tips to move past perfectionism so it stops sabotaging your business and you can share your work authentically with the world.

Perfectionism in a business context involves striving for unattainable flawlessness that is often accompanied by relentless self-judgment.

This is not just about wanting things to be good or excellent,

But needing them to be absolutely perfect before actually taking action.

And there is a lot of fear of judgment by others that's involved with perfectionism and a desire to control others' perceptions of you.

And this often does come down to even people-pleasing.

Perfectionism really shuts down your authenticity.

And remember,

If you're trying to please everybody,

You're actually not going to really connect with anybody.

And here's the thing with human design.

This is known as the science of differentiation.

Human design shows you how you are completely unique and different from everybody else,

And that there are a certain set of gifts that you can deliver in only the way that you can,

And also only to a very specific audience.

And this audience are the people that are meant to learn or receive what you have to offer in the way that only you can offer it.

And in order to find those people,

Really expressing your true authentic self is what connects with them.

Now,

When we are dealing with perfectionism and we're really trying to control how everybody views us,

We actually shut down our authentic self,

And we can become this really polished,

Almost robotic version that people do not really connect with.

Now,

When we're talking about perfectionism here,

This is not the same thing as doing your best or really striving for excellence.

Because yes,

We do want to do our best in our businesses,

And we want to strive for excellence,

Especially in those areas that are our zone of genius.

But perfectionism takes it way beyond that.

It needs everything to be absolutely flawless before we put it out.

And this can sabotage our business in so many different ways.

You might be really afraid to share your work,

And even when you do,

You cannot connect because it's not real.

Maybe you're hiding behind a made-up facade of perfection that nobody relates to.

It can really hinder connection and authenticity,

And it drains your energy.

And this is the energy that you can actually be using to do the work that you're here to do and express yourself in the way that really shows who you are.

And last but not least,

Perfectionism will keep you from putting anything out in the world because in your eyes,

It's not perfect.

And now let's think about it this way.

Who do you relate to more?

Maybe you're watching a YouTuber who really shares her authentic sense of humor,

Talks the way she does in real life.

Maybe her toddler walks in while she's doing a live and she has to pause the engagement for a second.

Or do you relate more to somebody that shows up perfectly polished,

Has every word scripted?

There's not a single um,

Or like,

Or awkward pause in sight.

And I don't know about you,

But I definitely relate more to the first one.

We are currently in the process of moving into a new global cycle,

A new global area that is all about authentic connection,

Expressing our individuality,

And collaborating with others.

It is more important than ever to really show up as who you really are,

Especially in this age of technology and AI.

Because technology and AI can produce things that aren't near perfect,

But it's not human.

People can tell,

And it doesn't connect.

So what are some examples of how perfectionism can show up?

Maybe you re-recorded the same video five times and it's still not good enough for you.

You might be creating things over and over again,

But never actually launching,

Selling them,

Or even talking about them to your audience.

And that is also that thing where you are continuously tweaking something over and over and over again.

And in your eyes,

It's never finished because it's not perfect.

And remember that done is better than perfect because you're never gonna get to perfect.

And at some point,

You're just gonna have to finish and put it out there and trust that it's gonna connect with the right people.

Perfectionism can also show up as over-complicating something to the point where it really stops making any kind of sense whatsoever.

And then you just give up and throw out the entire thing.

And you also might find yourself over-researching things to the point where you don't actually do any work because you never think you know enough.

And I am looking at you first lines and people with gate 48.

Trust me,

I know I have a first line in my profile.

And this is one of the ways that perfectionism shows up for me all the time.

Let me know in the comments,

Do you recognize any of these in yourself?

Or maybe there are some other ways that perfectionism creeps in in your business.

Be sure to also check out other people's comments because when we put these types of things out into the light and we see how it shows up for other people,

We recognize that it's really not just us.

Perfectionism is such a common thing and it really slows people down.

So let's talk about it.

Let's really bring it out into the open.

Now,

I have a long history of perfectionism and it's something I've been working on for years and years.

I've gotten much,

Much better about it.

And I still feel it creeping in all of the time.

And one example was when I was creating the outline for this podcast episode and I went into over-researching and I went into too much detail and I know that's something that doesn't work for me.

My design works best when I have a very loose outline with some bullets that I can then riff on.

If something is too overly scripted,

It just doesn't work for me.

And I saw myself getting lost in that,

Even creating multiple different outlines.

And it's always so funny to me when we notice in our business that the things that we're helping others with just happen to show up for ourselves so that we can learn even more about that experience.

So I just had to let go of it,

Create a very loose outline,

Put it in an order that makes sense,

And then just turn on the recording and go for it.

Now let's talk about authenticity and why it is such a necessary ingredient for success.

When you're really showing up in the world as your authentic self,

You're gonna connect to your ideal audience that needs what you have to offer in specifically the way that you offer it.

And these are the people that you get results for.

And there are lots of other people in our space doing the same thing.

There are tons of human design business coaches,

For example,

In my business,

You might be a yoga teacher and there are lots of yoga teachers in the world as well.

And we look at this as competition and you have to stand out from the rest.

And the way that you stand out is actually by really truly being your authentic self,

Because that's when the people that need what you have to offer find you,

And that's when they connect with you.

When you are in this really perfectionistic mode,

The right people don't connect to that.

And this is when you draw in the people that are really not the right audience for you,

The people that you don't get results for,

Those difficult clients that are always complaining about something or asking for refunds,

Because you didn't connect with the right people,

They couldn't find you because you weren't expressing your true authentic self.

When you are expressing your authentic self,

This really is a win-win for everyone because your people come to you and everybody else finds the people that are correct for them.

It's really the best thing for all of our businesses.

Now,

Let's talk about some very practical ways that you can deal with perfectionism in your business and really anywhere in your life.

The first thing that you wanna do is really become aware that it's there.

Awareness is always the first step.

Notice when it's coming up and pay attention to your behaviors.

Did you just re-record that reel for the 17th time because you said,

Um,

One too many times in the last one?

Have you never finished any of your human design reports?

Or maybe you have one sitting there that really is done,

But you've never put it out?

Also pay attention to how your body feels in the moment because perfectionism has some telltale signs and they might be slightly different for everyone,

But for me personally,

I get really tense.

My shoulders start hunching up and I definitely feel a very clear lump in my throat when that perfectionism and that over-control starts coming in.

The other way I notice it is when I'm constantly doing more and more research.

I'm a 5'1 here and that research doesn't feel good because normally when I'm researching as a 5'1,

I love it,

It is fun,

It's relaxing.

But when it starts becoming tense and like,

Oh,

I have to do this,

I know perfectionism is on the scene.

So start paying attention to how it shows up for you and building that awareness of when it's on the scene.

And then when you notice it,

Name it for what it is.

Oh,

Perfectionism is here.

And you wanna be really careful about not getting into self-judgment about it because self-judgment itself is a big aspect of perfectionism.

Just acknowledge it,

There it is,

Not making up any stories in your mind about,

Oh,

There it is again,

I thought I've already worked on this,

But just acknowledging perfectionism is there,

I am aware of it.

And then if you do find yourself really going up into your head and making up stories or why this needs to be perfect,

Or you can't put it out because it doesn't have this,

Do something that gets you back into your body.

Maybe that's doing some breath work,

Maybe go outside and go for a walk,

Maybe take a shower,

Sing,

Dance,

Whatever it is that you will love to do to get out of your head and into your body,

Go ahead and do that.

Once you feel more present,

Ask yourself the million dollar question,

Do I really wanna try to make my work perfect or do I actually want it to connect with the right people by being authentically myself?

And then take empowered action,

Do something that moves you in the direction that you wanna go,

Maybe it's posting that reel without it being perfect,

Maybe it's sharing in stories or on a post,

Maybe it's time to officially start your program launch.

Just take that first step that gets you out of that stuck paralysis that perfectionism puts you in and gets you moving in the right direction.

And then celebrate your progress and reward yourself.

And it's always helpful to connect with others about this,

Because you are not alone in your perfectionism,

We all struggle with it.

And remember when it comes to putting out your work in the world,

Done and authentic is what you want.

Your work is gonna evolve,

You're gonna get better at things,

Especially when you're new at something.

It's by doing it over and over again,

Sharing it with the world and really working that muscle of putting yourself out there,

That's how it gets stronger,

That's how it evolves and that's how you approach excellence.

Trust the timing and the process,

The only way to really go towards excellence at something is to allow yourself to be a beginner first.