The Mechanism Of Desire | Deep Spiritual Insights

What is desire, really? Is it the pull toward something outside of us, or does it reveal something deeper?

In this episode, I explore the mechanism of desire—how it functions, why it often gets distorted, and how it can lead us back to a deeper truth. Together, we’ll examine the subtle distinction between the *sensation* of desire and the *image* of what we think we desire.

Transcript

Imagine you get this image in your mind of what you desire and the fearful side says,

Oh,

I need that in order to be whole and complete.

And when you recognize you're already whole and complete,

Then you see the same image and you say,

That's interesting.

That sounds like fun.

I'm curious about that.

Let's go explore it.

It's like the difference between I desperately want that and I'm playfully open to that.

My intention here,

As with most things I explore,

Is to look at my direct experience,

Search my own heart and see what is the most true thing to say.

Now,

Granted,

This is hilarious because I also understand that no matter what I say,

It's not really true because we're using silly words to talk about something that can't actually be defined.

So this is incredibly playful in nature.

I invite you to not take any of this seriously,

But rather hang out with me here in the moment,

Marinate in the presence and just allow yourself to see whatever you see and explore what kind of value might be contained there in for your experience.

Okay.

Disclaimer is done.

The mechanism of desire.

Can we first start by recognizing the reality of this experience that we call desire?

And maybe we can find agreement that says everyone has the experience of desire.

Every human being.

Can we start with a simplicity that says desire presents a longing,

A sense of longing that feels pulled to a particular experience.

I like that.

It's very simple.

And what I also find fascinating about this is all of our assumptions or commentary that might suggest desire is somehow in the way or wrong.

And I hope to dispel that like most things,

If not all things,

It's my perspective that there is nothing in the human experience that shows itself that is not intentionally put there in a way that serves your overall journey of being human.

So desire has a very purposeful presence in our life.

And as with all of these things that have presence in our lives,

They're not inherently wrong or bad,

But yet what makes them problematic is our relationship to them.

And this is what I love about this exploration that I'm constantly pointing to is that we're not trying to gain control over these things.

We're simply seeking to understand these things.

And the more you understand them effectively puts them in their proper space.

You let go of them and they do what they're meant to do.

So desire is the same in this regard.

Desire being a recognized sense of longing that feels pulled toward a particular type or flavor of experience.

Let me speak to what I consider to be the biggest misunderstanding about desire.

And that misunderstanding is to confuse desire with the mind's images of the desired.

I understand that sounds confusing.

Give me a second.

I'll clarify it.

What I mean by this is the sensation of desire,

The energy of longing is very different from the image you create of what you think you desire.

For example,

And this is a great exercise that you might find yourself doing where you get still and you feel into the energy of desire beyond labeling it or drawing a picture about what it is.

You just feel the energy.

You feel that you're being pulled towards something.

But what we do as human beings is in our mind's attempt to understand this energy of desire,

It paints a picture of it.

And then we think we want the image.

A classic example of this is you have a desire that points toward what we will call a desire that we will call an experience of freedom.

Something in you longs for this thing that we will call freedom.

And then your mind imagines you flying through the sky,

Being able to go wherever you want to go.

And then you think,

Oh man,

If only I could fly,

Then I could finally be free.

You see what's happening here.

And you can also do this with thinking that you desire a billion dollars where you feel pulled to not have any concern about money,

To not be worried about your finances.

And so you're being pulled towards this sense that all is well,

There's nothing to worry about.

And then the mind paints a picture of that and says,

Oh,

Okay.

What does that look like?

Oh,

Well,

If I had a billion dollars,

Then I could feel that way.

And so then we confuse desire with the desired and think that what we desire is a billion dollars.

And so I'm just inviting you to see the distinction there,

Because what I'll say is that every human being,

This inescapable function of desire in us all is a desire for the same thing.

And I don't even like saying the word thing because it's not really a thing,

But there is a fundamental pole within every human being in the same direction,

But yet we're all painting different pictures of it.

Now,

Here's something I want you to look at in your experience of desire.

And let me know if you can recognize this.

Does it seem accurate to say that the pole you feel in your desire is to experience something that resembles love and wholeness,

An experience that resembles feeling profoundly connected to feeling free to feeling all as well.

Even look at the nature of sexual desire.

Do you see how it's mirroring this?

You can see it in relationship desire.

You can see it in financial desire.

Do you see how all of these things are actually being pulled in a very similar direction,

But yet we're telling different stories about it.

But there's something within you that is longing for something very specific,

But it's difficult to put words to it.

But we're all longing for that same something.

And that's everyone's desire.

Furthermore,

If we unravel this further,

And I guess it depends on how familiar you are with all the things I talk about.

But what this is saying more fundamentally is that what we desire is to connect,

Recognize,

Or remember what is actually real and true.

This is so wild to me that this is the reality of reality,

That the nature of our desire is actually to desire the truth of life.

And there is a fundamental pull within us in that direction.

And let me say this,

The more you recognize that that's what it is,

And you also recognize in some profound capacity,

What is the truth of life,

Then desire takes on a very beautiful expression within the human being.

Now,

On the flip side,

The more confused you are about what's true,

The more distorted the desire will become,

And the more problematic it will show itself in your experience.

Another way that we can illustrate this is that it's the difference between separation and wholeness.

When you recognize that what you desire is already within you,

Meaning you're not separate from it,

Then you can relax and understand this thing that you desire is something that we all desire.

It's fundamentally what you're here to explore.

It's the thing you want most,

Even if you don't recognize it.

It's the primary objective for your human experience.

And the truth of the matter is you're not separate from it,

It's inside of you.

Now,

The confusion of it is to assume you're separate from the one thing that you want most in this life.

This is the distortion that makes desire very problematic.

It's like you start believing that what you desire is actually outside of you,

That you're separate from it.

And what this does from behind your eyes,

Through your perception,

Is it creates the appearance that other people,

Or circumstance,

Stands in between you and what you desire,

The thing you want most.

Can you just recognize the potential difficulty there?

I mean,

Create a visual where someone is longing for the most important thing to them,

And it seems like they're separate from it,

And there are other people in the way.

Do you see the subsequent disaster?

Do I need to spell it out or is it obvious?

And we can look at this in our own direct experience,

Where you have felt separate from what you desired,

And you saw other people as in the way or withholding it from you,

Keeping you at a distance from the thing you want most,

And you can't help but see those people as enemies.

You can't help but see those people as monsters,

Right?

Standing in between you and the thing that you are here to discover,

The thing that you are here to experience,

The thing you want most.

And we can look at this in the concept of love.

You see this happen in relationships all the time,

Where we assume that the love we crave is in somebody else,

And they're the ones that give it to us.

And so now they have a particular power over our experience,

Meaning that they have the thing that we want most in this life.

Do you see how that sets up a disaster of a relationship experience?

It's inevitable.

And that's what I'm trying to illustrate here,

And I don't know if it's going so well,

But you have to see that it's the most important thing for you.

It's what you've been looking for your whole life.

And then when it looks like you're separate from it,

There will be a fear of not getting it.

And in the fear of not getting it,

That fear completely distorts your experience.

That fear creates all sorts of imaginary monsters.

And on the original side,

The wholeness side,

When you recognize that what you desire is inside of what you are,

It's not out there,

Then there's literally nothing to fear,

Because it's already there.

And this is the clarity that we are invited to see to some degree,

That no matter what the mind says that you desire,

There's a more sincere recognition that what you desire is to experience some aspect of yourself that you already are.

Which is what allows us to let go of the mind's images,

Where even if the mind says,

Oh,

I desire a billion dollars,

There's a recognition of,

I know it's not really that.

And so what is it really?

And what it really is,

Essentially,

In some way,

Is that I'm craving to come back to this moment and see the truth that I already am that.

And then from that recognition,

Now I can go play,

If that makes sense.

If desire is about desiring the truth of life,

Can you see that desire is to also imagine creative and playful ways to experience different flavors of the truth that you are?

Meaning,

If what you are is love,

Then desire says,

I'd like to experience the love that I am in this way.

Or what about this way?

It's almost like a navigation of attention.

It's like a direction in your sail of interest and curiosity of what your human would like to explore.

But again,

It's not to do so from the standpoint that you're missing something.

It's to do so from the standpoint of playful curiosity and adventure.

You know what this is the difference of?

It's like the difference between I desperately want that and I'm playfully open to that.

Right?

Imagine you get this image in your mind of what you desire and the fearful side says,

Oh,

I need that in order to be whole and complete.

And when you recognize you're already whole and complete,

Then you see the same image and you say,

That's interesting.

That sounds like fun.

I'm curious about that.

Let's go explore it.

Now look at what happens here.

Can you see how the more anxious or fearful it is,

The more distorted the image becomes?

Dare I say the more perverted the image becomes?

Actually,

This is interesting because the more distorted the truth is in the desire,

Then the more the desire will include having control over others or taking something from others.

Almost as if other people have what you desire and you need to get it from them.

Do you see that massive distortion and do you see how that plays out in society?

Do you see how that gives rise to certain forms of violence or stealing or any of that kind of stuff?

Because within the individual,

It feels like what I desired is over there separate from me,

So I need to take it.

Sexual assault is that.

But when you recognize that you're not missing it,

This thing that you want most,

You also recognize that nobody else has it,

Which is nobody else is in the way,

And you don't need to take it from anyone.

I think that's so fascinating.

Because we can talk about how,

Well,

What about people who desire to harm others?

Well,

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

The misunderstanding,

Which is they don't see themselves clearly.

They assume that what they desire is outside.

And somebody else has it or somebody else is in the way,

So they need to gain control over that other in order to get it.

And even though we can see this on an extreme scale with violence of all kinds,

I'm sure you can see how this still plays out in your human experience in some way.

And of course,

Like I mentioned quite often,

The internal pain that comes with that,

Which is the anxiety,

Which is that fearful sensation that you're separate from it or you might not get it,

Or even to act violently is only possible because you're experiencing a pain.

That pain is an alarm that is saying there's a distortion here.

I'm not seeing things clearly.

I'm blown away right now with the degree to which this life is brilliantly designed.

Designed in such a way and so brilliantly that from one perspective,

It looks like absolute chaos.

But when you look at it more closely,

It's so obvious what's going on,

At least to me.

I think that's so fascinating that all of what we might call violence,

Whether it's towards others or whether it's in our desires,

Is a reflection that we are not seeing the truth of what we are.

And the more we see the truth of what we are,

That violence disappears,

Which makes perfect sense why the fundamental desire that we all have is to see the truth of what we are,

Is to experience what we are,

Which is also why the confusion inside has to come out in those problematic ways so that we can see it.

It has to show itself on the surface so that we get the reflection,

Which is also like saying that it's not wrong and it's not bad.

It's like,

This is just what has to happen.

The confusion on the inside has to show itself on the outside so that we can see it,

Which is what allows us to bring clarity.

If you look at your spiritual journey,

You're only here looking at these things more deeply because of what you've seen on the outside.

You've seen all the confusion on the inside show up in your outer life and you're like,

What the hell is going on here?

And then as you look more clearly,

It's like,

Oh,

There's a massive confusion on the inside.

I thought the problem was out here in life,

But the more I looked at it,

I see that I'm the one that's confused.

That's profound.

It's so extraordinary that this mechanism of desire in every human being is looking for the same thing,

Which says,

I want to experience a deeper truth of what I am.

I want to experience the truth of what I am in this way,

In this way,

In this way,

In this way.

Wow.

And do you see the shift that happens?

Maybe you can see that it's a shift from serious to sincerely playful,

From fearfully serious to lovingly playful.

Where the confusion says,

What I desire is fearfully serious.

And then as you see it more clearly,

Wow,

This is sincerely playful.

And of course,

This is also the contrast between heaven and hell.

Even when I look at my own desires,

Like if I start making a list of my desires,

What I can recognize in some way,

What they say is I want to honor the truth of what I am.

Which to me,

In a manner of speaking,

Is a quite healthy relationship with desire.

Like when your desire says something like that,

I want to honor the truth of what I am,

Which is almost like acknowledging the original intent of desire.

And then I can also see a flavor of egoic desire that might want to arise,

And even the potential confusion that wants other people to give up their sovereignty so I can connect with the desired that I think I'm missing.

But when I look at it,

It's obvious,

Oh,

That's not really what I desire.

And if you don't see that,

Man,

It can just really capture you.

It can be such a distraction in your life to run around really thinking you're missing something,

You're missing what you desire.

Do you see how that distorts your whole world?

Just notice that.

To assume that you're separate from what you desire makes for a very anxious human experience.

I think we can agree with that.

In another way,

It's like saying you realize that you are what you desire,

And there's no losing what you are.

And then the desire takes on a new flavor of playfulness,

Which is,

In what ways might I experience the depth of what I am?

Let's go play.

Gosh,

I almost don't want to say anything else about it.

Just let you sit with that.

Reviews

Thank you for this reflection!!!🙏🏼❤️

Interesting distinctions to think about