Healing For The Mother Wound

Here I read a poem by Chelan Harkin called "Mother" and then a personal reflection bringing some of my own story relating to mother. We can often find ourselves wounded by our mothers and this meditation may offer some solace, healing and freedom from that wound. There is language that speaks of The Divine.

Transcript

As part of a wisdom circle on the Divine Feminine that I've been hosting,

We've been exploring the mother wound and how deeply that can rest within us,

That wounding from our mothers.

And as part of that exploration we looked at a poem by Celen Harkin called Mother.

So I want to read that poem to you and then offer you a reflection that I wrote and shared with the group in response to the poem and my own journey with the mother wound within me.

I thought it may be helpful to share it here just in case anything that I can offer resonates with you and invites you to a deeper place of healing and freedom.

So to begin with here's the poem Mother by Celen Harkin.

Expand the word mother let it encompass the hills the morning that which feeds you.

Mother is much too big a word for one person alone to hold.

Take it off her shoulders,

Hand it to community,

Warm baths,

Anything that soothes and restores.

Healing is learning to know where to find the mother in her myriad forms whenever you need her.

I'm now going to offer my reflection on that poem and part of my own story with mother.

Mother that word,

That word.

What a lot it contains.

Depths of complexity,

Shame,

Immense pain,

Beauty,

Glory,

Wonder,

And comfort.

I have looked towards that name within myself and seen a vast black space of nothing.

A void of empty darkness that seemed as if it could swallow me and never let me out.

That vast void of bleak nothing had been there a long time.

It had at times chased me down and tried to pull me into itself.

Mother has been for me absence rather than presence,

Distance rather than closeness,

Pain rather than comfort.

I have wrestled that word,

Thrown it around,

Pummeled it and run from it.

I have also been curious about it and walked right up to it wondering about what it really means.

What it means as it lives within me,

Within my friends,

Within those that have shown me the beauty of mother.

What it means as divine love in the fullness of the kindest of embraces and safest of places.

I jumped into that black void recently.

I finally felt safe enough to go from walking around its edges to leaping.

The divine mother had enabled me to do so.

She was my guide and companion as I flung myself into the dark.

I tumbled a while through black and then light came,

More and more and more of it until I was moving through a tunnel of white and gold and glory.

It seemed to me to be an umbilical cord of sorts.

It was good to be here and I moved fast as if being reborn,

This time as the daughter of divinity.

The daughter of a mother unwounded,

Whole,

Complete and knowing how to love me.

I am letting mother encompass hills,

The morning,

That which feeds me.

She is becoming real,

True and huge in her love.

I'm learning what it is to let her mother me.

She comes to me as my own body,

My own embrace and love of myself and as the body,

Voice and embrace of others.

I'm finding her in wrapping my cold hands around hot milky coffee and smelling its goodness,

In the hot water bottle that never leaves me from October to April,

In blankets,

Woolen jumpers,

Soft cushions,

Fairy lights,

Hot soup and snoozing dog,

In a welcoming duvet at day's end,

In sleep when it finally arrives.

I find her in the hug of my husband and the conversation of a friend.

I find her in a freezing cold sea and the drying off afterwards.

I find her in the sip of whiskey that warms and the taste of chocolate that delights.

I find her in the leaves of the tree,

Brown now then green.

I meet her in the bark under my fingers,

The soil under my feet,

The earth that connects to me every day.

I meet her in the sky,

The clouds,

The stars and the moon.

I meet her in the sunrise and the sunset.

I taste her in nourishing food and sharing it with others.

You are here now in my breath,

My heartbeat,

My skin,

Hair and eyes.

You are here as I look at myself in the mirror.

I see your penetrating gaze of deep love absorbing me and delighting in me.

She is far too big for just me and yet she is also just mine,

As she is just yours and yours and yours.

She comes in the stillness of solitude and aloneness to sit alongside and be the presence needed.

She arrives in the love of others,

In friendship,

In smiles,

In the messy ways of community.

I love how we can grow into this word together.

We can mother each other in our nurture,

Love,

Protection and nourishment to one another.

We can carry that word together in solidarity,

Shoulder to shoulder.

We carry it in and for each other,

Knowing that for most of us that word has been or still is shrouded in pain,

Perplexity and suffering.

We can carry it together,

Knowing that even when the complexities of how it lives in us are sometimes too layered,

Even for us to make sense of,

We will still be there as and in community,

Loving,

Listening,

Offering hope.

Here is the soothing,

Restorative healing,

Here in the place of simplicity,

Of saying I am here with you.

I am here with tea and love and a warm bath.

Our voices echo with the voice of Divine Mother as she is always found at the heart of community.

She is right there in the voices and arms of others,

In sky,

Field,

Tree and sea,

In all that nourishes and brings comfort,

In all that cheers us on,

In all that makes us feel okay about who we are,

In that feeling of belonging and coming home to ourselves.

She is there too in the path that helps us find our way home,

Even when we're not yet fully familiar with it.

She is the ever-present guide,

Friend and light that helps us make our way through this world into places of deep spaciousness,

Rest,

Knowing and joy.

She is the ever-present guide,

Friend and light that helps us make our way through this world into places of deep spaciousness,

Rest,

Knowing and joy.

Whenever we need Mother,

She is there.

We may have to look around for her,

Lift up our gaze.

We may have to pick up the phone or send a vulnerable,

Tear-streaked message asking for help.

We may have to turn inward,

Placing gentle,

Reassuring hands on our hearts.

We may need to walk through rage and pain,

Tears and grief to be able to see her,

But she is there to be found.

She is there to be found and she is there to find.

She has already made her home in us.

We meet her in the deepest truth of who we are and we meet her in the vastness of the outside of ourselves,

Ever and always present,

Knowing us,

Loving us,

Alongside us,

As us.

Mother,

Let me meet you as you really are.

Free me from false projections and dark images.

Free me from the shame that connects with that word and the death that is found there.

Free me from all that isn't who you truly are.

May grace work her deep and wonderful magic where she's needed.

I surrender to you,

Divine,

Loving Mother.

I want to get to know you forever.

Amen.

Reviews

Healing and profound. You spoke directly to my heart. Thank you ❤️‍🩹

Gorgeous. Will be returning to this one. Thank you 🙏🏼

Thank you so much!
Recently I had to move in with my mom again, which has been pretty challenging and painful at times. Your words touch me so deeply, resonated, and I could feel something shifting in my perspective. Freeing! Again thanks so much 🌟 🧡

Thank you so much for this! I needed this within my rage and hurt.

Thankyou so much for creating this beautiful meditation I loved it so much and this cane at tine very needed ❤️

Thank you so much for sharing this Nicky…such a healing balm and very timely today….Forever grateful for you & your meditations. Blessings!