Well,
Hello everyone and welcome.
Today we're going to be talking about letting go.
And I'm sure that many of us are familiar with that clinging to something or pushing something away or some other form of letting go or resisting or clinging.
This foundation in mindfulness is really about cultivating the attitude of letting go or another way of putting it is non-attachment and letting our experience be what it is in the moment.
In meditation practice we intentionally put aside our tendency to cling to some aspects of our experience and to reject others,
Right?
So this is really part of the mindfulness practice.
And letting go is a way of accepting things as they are and making room for new possibilities.
So alternatively when it isn't possible to let go,
We can make the commitment to ourselves to let it be just for now,
Just for this moment.
And often we can let things be as a way of making room or making space for something new to emerge.
As Jon Kabat-Zinn says,
It's not a matter of letting go.
You would if you could.
Instead of let it go,
We should probably say let it be.
And in India there's an interesting story.
There's a particularly clever way of catching monkeys and as the story goes,
Hunters will cut a hole in a coconut that's just big enough for a monkey to put his hand through.
And then they will drill two smaller holes in the other end and put a wire through,
Secure it to the base of a tree.
And then they put a banana in and they hide.
And the monkey comes down,
Puts his hand in and takes hold of the banana and the hole is cut so that the open hand can go out,
But the fist cannot get out.
And all the monkey has to do to be free is to let go of the banana.
And believe it or not,
It seems that most monkeys don't let go.
And often our minds get us caught in very much the same way in spite of our intellect.
For this reason,
Cultivating the attitude of letting go or non-attachment is really fundamental to the practice of mindfulness.
When we start paying attention to our inner experiences,
We quickly discover that there are certain thoughts and feelings and situations that the mind seems to want to hold on to.
And if they are pleasant,
We try to prolong these thoughts or feelings or stretch them out and conjure them up over and over.
And similarly,
There are many thoughts and feelings and experiences that we try to get rid of,
Right?
To protect ourselves,
To prevent ourselves from having pain.
And they're unpleasant and can be frightening even in one way or another.
So it's a protective mechanism to shield ourselves from pain.
In mindfulness,
When we find ourselves judging our own experience,
The practice is to let go of those judging thoughts,
Right?
We've talked about that.
I think our very first foundation is non-judging.
And so we recognize them and we just don't pursue them any further in the practice of mindfulness and in an ideal world.
But it's a practice,
So we have to keep coming back to it.
We let them be and in doing so,
We can let them go.
Similarly,
When thoughts of the past or the future come up,
We let go of them.
I'm sure in your practice,
This is a very common occurrence.
And we try in our practice of mindfulness just to watch and observe.
And if we do find it particularly difficult to let go of something because it does have a strong hold over our mind,
We can direct our attention to the opposite,
What holding on feels like and maybe exploring that.
Holding on is the opposite of letting go.
And we can become an expert on our own attachments,
Right?
Because the more intimately aware we are of our tendencies,
The more likely we are to be able to make a shift or a change,
Right?
And we can also then recognize what the consequence is in our life when we hold on or even what the results are of what it is to let go,
Right?
So whether we're successful at letting go or not,
Mindfulness does continue to teach us about what it means to hold on and what it means to let go if we're just willing to examine our own experience.
And that's such a big part of mindfulness is to be examining our own experience,
Becoming familiar.
The awareness is what gives us the opportunity to make different choices.
And it's no different with the concept or the idea of letting go.
And letting go is not such a foreign experience.
We do it every night before we,
When we go to sleep.
We lie down in bed with the lights out in a quiet place presumably,
Maybe not for all of us,
And we let go of our mind and our body.
And if you can't let go,
You can't go to sleep.
So most of us have experienced times when the mind just wouldn't shut down,
Right,
When we got into bed.
And this is one of the first signs of elevated stress,
All right,
So you can really be aware of that.
And at these times,
We may be unable to free ourselves from certain thoughts because our involvement is just too powerful.
And if we try to force ourselves to sleep,
It just makes things worse.
I'm sure that many of us have experienced that.
But if you can go to sleep,
You are already an expert in letting go.
Now you just need to practice or we just need to practice collectively individually applying this skill in waking situations as well.
So,
And just to summarize,
You know,
We're on our seventh foundational attitude.
And,
You know,
Now you may have begun to notice,
Excuse me one second while I kind of find my place.
Yeah,
You may have begun to notice how they're all related and integrally connected to one another.
So letting go or letting be well,
That requires a degree of acceptance.
That was last week,
Week six.
Before we can let things be,
We must accept or at least acknowledge they are as they are in this moment.
And it also requires letting go of judgments,
Right?
Our judgments may be filled with expectations of how we want things to be,
Making us cling to them or resist them.
Letting go or letting be also requires enough trust in ourselves at our own authority that letting go does serve us.
It also requires us to trust in the process that unfolds when we let go.
Letting go is also a form of non-striving.
And we talked about non-striving a few weeks back in week four.
We often strive for things to be a certain way,
Right?
And so there's,
It's very much tied into this idea of letting go.
Having a beginner's mind may also allow us to get,
To let go more easily when we approach the situation with curiosity and without expectations.
And it also requires us to have patience.
Letting go or letting be can be scary if the outcome is unknown.
So we will have to have some patience to see what will emerge if we don't cling so tightly or resist our experience so much.
So in fact,
These foundations all build on one another and something to remember is how we can draw on the one that feels most accessible in the moment.
And that can help us strengthen the others,
Right?
And maybe we find we have a go-to one of these foundations that seems to come more easily in many situations.
And so that can be something very valuable to recognize and to utilize on the fly.
Okay.
So with all of that being said,
Let's try to let go and let's begin our meditation.
So if it's comfortable for you,
I invite you to close your eyes and maybe just taking a moment to allow yourself to have that sense of arriving in the space that you're in and allowing the body to settle.
And now just perhaps finding a comfortable posture,
Lengthening the spine,
Allowing the head to gently balance above the neck and shoulders,
And then reaching the crown of the head upwards towards the sky.
And if need be,
Shifting the body to find a supportive posture,
You want to be comfortable and feel supported and maybe feeling the support of the chair that you're sitting in or even the support of your own body in the chair.
And perhaps the earth below.
As we begin to bring awareness into the body sitting here,
And maybe allowing an awareness of the feet on the floor and the sits bones on the cushion or chair to be the gateway into the body.
When we're in the body,
We are present.
So just taking a moment to really sense into the contact points and feel into the body sitting here and know that you are sitting here.
Know that your body is here in this chair.
And then maybe allowing an awareness of any kind of pressure,
Slight pressure from clothing on different parts of the body.
So maybe feeling socks across the toes or the gentle tug of pant legs across the knees.
And maybe also feeling the coolness of the air around you or warmth.
Just sensing the air on the skin.
And now turning the gaze ever more inward.
Allowing your awareness to come to rest gently on the breath.
And then just beginning to follow the rhythm of your own breath cycle.
Following along.
So not needing to change it in any way.
But maybe noticing in this moment how the breath is.
Perhaps it's easy.
But maybe not.
Maybe it's a little bit labored.
If you were rushing around before.
But just noticing how the breath is.
And perhaps allowing the breath to deepen just a little bit.
Following each breath cycle all the way to the end.
Maybe just noticing how naturally each in-breath turns into an out-breath.
Maybe with your awareness on the breath you can even sense that micro-pause between the in-breath and the out-breath.
And if the mind has wandered,
It's perfectly fine.
That's what the mind knows how to do.
But as you notice it,
Well that's the moment that you become present again.
So then just gently guiding the mind back to the breath.
Just continuing this exploration of the breath.
In your own time.
At your own pace.
Perhaps allowing your awareness to come to rest on the place that your breath is felt most prominently in this moment.
Whether it's the rise and fall of the belly or the expansion of the rib cage.
And the deflation of the lungs in the chest.
Maybe it's the air at the back of the throat.
So flowing in and out of the nostrils to the back of the throat.
But wherever you're feeling the breath most prominently.
Keeping your attention there.
Loosely.
It's not another task.
It's just allowing that to come into the field of awareness.
And with this focus on the breath.
Allowing that to be the anchor into the body.
And into the present moment.
And knowing that the breath as your friend and your companion that never leave you can really be relied on in times of stress or in moments when you know you should be letting go of something.
But letting go just seems to elude you.
So turning to the breath in those moments.
Deepening the breath and allowing the breath to be your guide.
And so now I'm going to invite you to think about what it means to let go or let be.
Perhaps it might be helpful to call to mind an instance recently or not so recently even where you were either holding on tightly to how you wanted something to be.
Clinging to it or perhaps an instance where you were pushing away an unwanted situation.
Resisting something that had already happened.
Why me?
Is this going to go on forever?
This shouldn't have happened.
So just taking a moment to call something to mind and reflect back on the experience.
With as much detail as possible thinking about where you were,
Who you were with if you were with anyone at all.
What the feelings were that arose when you clung to so desperately or resisted so fervently your experience.
Was there a feeling of wistfulness,
Burning,
Even mournfulness if you were clinging to something.
Or maybe there was frustration,
Anxiety,
Fear,
Anger even if you were resisting something.
And also think about how it felt in the body.
Was there tension?
If so,
Where was this tension in the body?
What did it feel like?
Was there a pit in the stomach,
Tightness in your chest,
A lump in your throat,
A headache?
So just seeing if it's possible to recall the nature of the experience.
And now perhaps inviting a sense of letting go.
Recognizing that it may not be possible to let go.
But maybe it's possible to just let it be.
Perhaps noticing what happens when you're making space for the experience to be just as it is.
And also knowing that the mind and the body don't know the difference if it's actually happening now or some other time.
So really tuning in to what has come up for you in reflecting back on this experience.
Because perhaps some of the very same feelings were conjured up right now as you re-experienced it.
And now seeing if you can loosen your grip on wanting things to be a certain way.
Just giving it some space.
Just letting it be.
And just allow yourself to feel into any sensations associated with letting something be just as it is.
And can you allow some spaciousness around it?
And maybe you can even draw a circle of awareness around it in your mind's eye and gently hold whatever it was that you clung to or resisted.
And just be with it with some kindness.
And also knowing that having this attitude of letting go or letting be is not a sign of weakness.
It doesn't mean resignation or inaction.
It simply means the acknowledgement of things as they are and then letting them be creates this space around it from which to move forward with thoughtfulness.
And perhaps in this letting be,
New possibilities can emerge.
We're not so stuck in the chaos of gripping,
Holding on or resisting and pushing forward.
And then just taking a moment now to notice,
You know,
Was there a shift in how you relate it to this now in this moment?
And if there was a shift,
Simply being aware of what that felt like.
So staying tuned in to whatever arose,
Whether it was a shift or not,
But just allowing yourself to be with the experience just as it is.
Just breathing with what is here.
And in those moments of letting go and letting be,
Perhaps turning to the breath,
Your steady companion.
And now just deepening the breath a little bit and beginning to release this experience and this exploration of clinging or resisting and just allowing it to recede into the background for now.
Knowing that you can always come back to it.
And explore it some more.
And now just returning to the breath.
Allow by Donna Faulds,
There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt containing a tornado.
Dam a stream and it will create a new channel.
Resist and the tide will sweep you off your feet.
Allow and grace will carry you to higher ground.
The only safety lies in settling in letting it all in the wild and the weak fear fantasies,
Failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of the heart or sadness veils your vision with despair.
Darkness becomes simply bearing the truth and the choice to let go of your known way of being.
The whole world is revealed to your new eyes.
