Heal In Place. Fill Your Still. (Perfectionism)

I held myself to impossibly high standards. Nothing I did was ever good enough. Perfectionism differs from high achievement in one important way: where your focus lies. If you are striving for excellence, you will be happy about your achievements and learn from your mistakes. Perfectionism is a self-defeating way to move through the world.

My relationships with myself and the world were performance-based, not authentic. I pursued perfectionism hoping it will make me more acceptable. That failed.

Reviews

The quote at the end made me cry. I was an emotionally abandoned child and now I am severely hampered by perfectionism. It has taken a long time to see it but now I do and so begins the journey to heal. Thank you for this beautiful talk. At last I feel supported and vindicated in that my struggles have a reason and a source. Thank you.

Very helpful and insightful. I suffer from perfectionism and it is debilitating. The quote about emotionally abandoned children very much resonated with me. May all we perfectionists gently heal ourselves and forgive those who have hurt us🙏✨🪷

Wow Tammy! That totally resonated with me. This is a much needed and awesome talk for us who struggle with perfectionism. You helped shed light on how much of a delusion it is and how it robs us of our lives. Thank you. 🙏

I never thought about myself in this way but after hearing thus I can see similarities do I will give thus one another listen. I always thought my mama felt this way about me because I never did anything right. Just yesterday she let loose on me about something she didn’t like and she becomes extremely sarcastic. Thus happens every few weeks or less when I don’t give her the answer she wants. At almost 92 all I can think about her is WTF !!! Is she ever going to give it a rest!! More work for me to do.

Thank you so much :) ! As an older teen who is fresh out of high school , I can relate to it . I have amazing parents who have done and continue to do their best in loving and supporting me but I do feel that as the elder one of my parents' children , I have this inherent habit of chasing perfectionism and presenting myself as an ideal flawless person. Obviously since perfect is not real , I tend to self-sabotage by excessive and toxic procrastination which has made me to hate myself. I want to break away this pattern and conquer out of it as a greatly better version of myself. Thank you for this talk. I would definitely appreciate your valuable advice in this regard 💖💖