Heal In Place. Fill Your Still. (Emotionally Immature Parents)

Today’s episode is dedicated to Dr. Jonice Webb and Dr. Lindsay Gibson. I have read their books and articles and highly recommend them. They detail how emotionally immature parents feel safest when they maintain control by using guilt and shame. Their parent-child attachment is more about dominance and obedience than affection, security, and guidance. The child of emotionally immature parents is there to serve the needs of the parent, not the other way around.

Reviews

Needed to hear this even though it is still a struggle to accept...
I'm still that little girl more often not when it comes to my parents. If I let go of the fantasy that they might change then my little girls world comes crashing down all around me. I dip in and out and still sit on the fence half hoping for change.
The only change is here and it begins and ends with me.
I have placed boundaries and am looking forwards. And the first kick in the face is that when I'm not allowing them to take over my whole life, control everything, and be at their beck and call, evrrything revolving around them. Guess what happens? They don't call. I haven't received a call since. And it has highlighted the fact that I haven't ever had a normal conversation on the telephone. It was staged, it was a fake performance. And it was always about them. I wasn't heard or listened to. I supported them. I wasn't allowed feelings. I was caught in between their unstable marriage, and used. Not loved, not cared for, but just used for their own needs.
If I observe as the second or third person, I can honestly sit back and think what the hell was that? Incredibly, punch in the face, here's your childhood and adulthood thrown at you in one huge punch. One scarily awakening experience.
Anyone that reads this. Make sure you are ready, really ready. Then make one change, however slight, and be ready to see your family for exactly who they are.

Thank you for this. I refuse to be that for my son and I am working to break the cycle. Many blessings to you on your healing journey as well!

That was very helpful Tami, thanks. I recently read an article by Dr Jonice Webb which I found helpful.

Spot on. I’ve learned somewhat through these podcast why my parents are the way they are. It does help a bit with my understanding of why I was treated the way I was. The #1 thing I have learned and believe is THEY NEVER CHANGE nor do they want to. So I change !!! Great mini podcast Tami!! 💜