Accepting Powerlessness: A Guided Meditation For Step One

We are powerless over so many things in life. Accepting the places we are powerless can be an enormous relief and release from trying to control things that are not in our control. This guided meditation helps us move into acceptance and sweet surrender. When we accept our powerlessness, we open ourselves to being more fully engaged with the aspects of our life that we can control. It also lays the groundwork for handing over the unmanageable aspects of our lives to a higher power.

Accepting powerlessness is Step One in all of the 12-step programs. This meditation may be helpful for people in recovery. It is a practice that goes well with the DBT Skill Radical Acceptance. It is also helpful for anyone struggling with issues of power and control over the uncontrollable (your own addictions, other people, natural disasters, etc.)

Transcript

This guided meditation is meant to help you radically accept situations in which you are powerless.

Powerlessness is such a struggle for us to accept.

We want to be able to control things.

We want to be able to control people,

Especially people who are hurting themselves or hurting us.

We want to be able to control situations.

And sometimes these things are within our control,

But other times they're not.

And radically accepting that we are powerless over a situation,

Over a person,

And that when we try to have power over these things,

Our lives become unmanageable.

This is like the first step in Al-Anon.

Although you don't have to be in Al-Anon for this to be valuable.

I want you to think of something in your life that you are struggling with because you so badly want to have control over it,

And yet you don't.

You're powerless over this person or this situation.

And when you try to gain control over it,

Your life becomes unmanageable.

So let's start with turning your palms facing up and setting them in your lap.

This is called willing hands.

Willing hands help you open you to accepting reality,

Open you to being effective with what is.

So with your hands facing palms up,

I want you to join me and say aloud,

Think of the situation you're in.

I am powerless over.

.

.

Just fill in the blank with whatever the situation is that you're powerless over.

I'm powerless over this person and their decisions.

I'm powerless over this situation.

I'm powerless to change the past.

I'm powerless over.

.

.

Go ahead and sink into that idea.

And the next I want to see you to say out loud,

When I try to have power over this thing,

My life becomes unmanageable.

When I try to have power over this person,

When I try to control the situation,

My life becomes unmanageable.

So some people feel very uncomfortable with this meditation because they feel like it's disempowering.

I'm trying to be empowered here.

I don't want to be talking about powerlessness.

But there is a liberation that can come when you accept that you are powerless over certain situations.

It frees you to focus on the things that you can control,

The things over which you do have choice and power.

Let's do this again.

Take this in.

I say this aloud in your sweet voice to yourself.

I am powerless over.

.

.

Fill in the blank,

Whatever the thing is that you're struggling with.

When I try to have power over,

My life becomes unmanageable.

I am powerless over the thing.

When I try to have power over,

My life becomes unmanageable.

Take a deep breath in,

Let it go,

And see if you can ease into that.

The way that when you're trying to float in salt water,

You have to kind of lean back and surrender to the water.

If you're rigid,

You'll sink.

You have to relax,

Let go,

And let the water support you.

This is the same kind of feeling.

You're surrendering,

You're letting go,

And just saying,

I'm powerless.

I'm powerless over this.

I'm going to focus on the things that I can control.

Why is this so hard?

It's so hard to do because it doesn't feel safe.

Sometimes these things over which we have no power,

They feel like an existential threat.

Sometimes they actually are an existential threat.

But hopefully in this moment right now,

As you're listening to this,

Hopefully you are safe.

If you are safe,

I want to invite you to do a little progressive muscle relaxation with me.

We're holding in this space.

I am powerless over this person,

Over this situation.

When I try to have power over it,

My life becomes unmanageable.

That's terrifying.

So let's do a little progressive muscle relaxation.

Start by scrunching up all the muscles in your face.

Tighten your nose,

And your lips,

And your cheeks,

And your eyes,

And your scalp,

And your ears.

Squeeze,

Press your tongue against the roof of your mouth.

Tighten,

Tighten,

Tighten,

Tighten.

Get everything as tight as you possibly can,

And let it go.

Release.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Releasing and saying,

I'm safe.

Right here in this moment,

I am safe.

Now I want you to scrunch your shoulders up to your ears.

Tighten your shoulders,

And your neck,

And your back,

And your stomach.

Suck your stomach into your spine.

Tighten up your hands and little fists.

Pull those fists up to your shoulders,

And you're taking that entire upper body,

And you're squeezing,

And tightening,

And tensing.

And then release.

Let it all go.

I'm safe.

Check in with those hands.

Are they loose?

Check in with your wrists,

Your arms,

Your chest,

Your back,

Your neck.

Wiggle a little bit if you need to,

To find the loosest,

Loosest version of yourself.

Take a deep breath in and say,

I'm safe.

Check that your face is soft,

Too,

That it didn't tense up.

I'm safe.

I am powerless over whatever the thing is.

When I try to have power over,

My life becomes unmanageable.

And right now,

I am safe.

So let's do the lower body.

Tighten up your pelvic floor,

So all the muscles in your pelvis,

And your glutes.

And get all the muscles in your thighs,

And your knees,

And your calves,

And your feet,

And your toes.

Don't give yourself a charley horse,

But tighten all of that up.

All of that up.

Tighten,

Squeeze,

Squeeze,

Squeeze,

Squeeze,

Squeeze as tight as you possibly can.

And take a deep breath in.

Exhale and release.

I'm safe.

I'm safe.

Say aloud,

I'm powerless over whatever this is.

When I try to have power over it,

My life becomes unmanageable.

Right now,

In this moment,

I can release all the tension from my body and recognize that in this moment,

I am safe.

When we can radically accept the things that we don't have power over,

The things we cannot change,

The things that are outside of our control,

The things that are outside of our control,

Gives us the opportunity to focus on problem solving the things that we can control.

See if you can tap into the feeling of liberation that comes from letting that go.

Letting go of that control.

Take another deep breath in.

Exhale.

I'm safe.

Thank you for practicing with me.

As you go through the next week or the next day,

Just practice telling yourself that you are safe and surrendering to your powerlessness,

Only in situations in which you actually are powerless.

But surrendering,

I'm powerless over this.

Over this.

So if you're powerless over a person who is making destructive choices,

You can turn to yourself and say,

Okay,

I'm powerless over them,

But I do have power over my decisions and what I do to take care of myself.

I'm powerless over this bigger situation at work,

This bigger situation in my town,

In my family,

Whatever it is.

But I can make decisions about my life and how I protect myself.

Anyway,

Thank you.

Take care.

Reviews

I’m really struggling right now with accepting my powerless-ness Over a person and their choices. Your imagery of saltwater and leaning into it was really helpful. And also the reminder that “I am safe”. Thank you and I will return.