Reflection on Friendship

The quality of your friendships starts with a friendly relationship with yourself. That's not something you should take for granted.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to Your Daily Meds.

Today we reflect on friendship.

You have to feel a certain way about somebody to be a friend.

And friendship starts within,

Inside you.

So the question is,

Are you a friend to yourself?

Do you judge yourself?

Are you harsh?

Do you look down upon yourself?

Do you give yourself a break?

Or when things go wrong,

Do you beat up on yourself?

Think that you are stupid?

Wish you were somewhere or someone else?

These are all human patterns of behaviour.

We do these things.

We are very unfriendly to ourselves sometimes.

For some people it's a constant pattern.

And as you might expect,

These are the sort of people who are most difficult to befriend.

So friendship clearly starts within.

It's not just a cliché.

So let's take a look at your attitude towards yourself.

Take a deep breath.

And let go.

Let the air come in and leave.

Unobstructed.

There is nothing here you need to interfere with.

So sit back and watch the breath happen.

Trust yourself.

Trust the breath.

Don't worry about meditating well or meditating properly.

You see how there is no need for those judgements?

You just breathe.

You don't bug a friend.

You support.

So don't bug yourself.

Support yourself.

Keep it simple.

Allow yourself to sit and breathe.

Without any judgement.

When your attention wavers,

Return to the breath.

Notice how your body manages to do all this.

Expand,

Contract your lungs.

Absorb the oxygen.

Metabolise it.

Retrieve the waste carbon dioxide and take it out of your body.

It does that by itself.

You can trust it.

You don't need to interfere.

Body is your friend.

More importantly,

You are a friend to your body.

You don't make it do things that it can't.

You don't push it when you are tired.

You don't starve it when you are hungry.

You treat your body with respect.

It's a limited commodity.

Whatever strength and vigour you have now,

Decline with age.

You can get angry.

You can blame.

But it's hardly the point.

But these are patterns of unfriendliness that sometimes we find in our minds.

There are attitudes that we picked up somewhere along the line from parents or siblings or people at school.

We absorb the impressions that we feel from teachers and from bosses and colleagues and clients.

We are constantly tempted to judge.

Are we doing well?

Are we doing badly?

And those judgements may be valid.

But nevertheless,

If you are not a friend to yourself,

Then who is?

Who can be?

If you don't let yourself in,

How will you let anyone in?

So accept.

Accept your mistakes.

Accept your good points.

They all come together.

You are a friend.

You are kind.

You don't call yourself names when you make mistakes.

Mistakes,

What you learn from books is nothing compared with what you learn from experience.

And learning from experience is a process of trial and error.

Sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn't.

That's how you learn.

By being friendly with yourself.

By accepting.

By trusting.

This doesn't happen overnight.

It's surprisingly difficult to become a friend to yourself.

It takes effort.

When you do,

When you are truly open with yourself,

Then you have the option to be open with others.

You can help them become friends.

Not just to you,

But to themselves as well.

A friend is somebody who helps you trust yourself.

So feel that trust in yourself as you breathe.

Breathe deeply.

Enjoy it.

Be glad of your body,

Of your breath.

You can judge it,

But this is what you've got.

And because of it,

You are conscious.

You are aware.

Right now you are being mindful.

It is no greater gift than being conscious,

Really.

Everything else comes from that.

And here you are,

Fully conscious,

Fully aware,

Able to look at yourself and able to change your perception of yourself.

And all it takes is a relaxation,

Letting go of mistrust and judgment.

Being yourself,

Being grateful for what you are,

Happy for what you are,

Content to be who you are,

Knowing that that changes all the time.

And that you can help that change along by being a friend to yourself.

And that by being a friend to yourself,

You are an even better friend to others.

What could possibly benefit this world more than true friendship?

The more the better.

But don't be blinded.

Make friends of people who are friends with themselves,

Who are honest and true,

Who are open to question.

And know the difference between friendship and mere cooperation.

Sometimes that's all that's possible.

You must keep your eyes open.

This is part of being a friend to yourself,

Protecting yourself.

And when you meet somebody with whom you feel you can be open,

Take a risk.

Might become a friend.

If not,

You've learned.

You move on.

Give yourself a pat on the back for trying.

Friendship makes the world a better place.

It's not some obscure philosophical truth.

It's clear,

Obvious,

Something you recognize from day to day.

Surround yourself with friends.

Make friends.

Intelligently.

And always remember that it begins with you.

Be friends with your mind.

Let go of judgment,

Mistrust.

Be friends with your body.

Allow the breath to come and go.

Just watching.

No judgment.

This clarifies your thinking,

Clears your mind,

Improves your perception,

Makes you happier.

What more can you ask for?

From this very simple thing,

Friendship.

It starts inside you.

And remember,

This doesn't only happen when things are going well.

A friend is somebody who tells you what you need to hear at the very time that you don't want to hear it.

It's a long term thing.

So take three more breaths and open your eyes.

And that's all for today.

We'll see you next time.

Reviews

Helpful

Reflective & thought provoking - just what I needed to hear. Thank you.

Very helpful. Thank you.

Just what I needed. Great message.

Lovely talk, thank you!

An important talk! Kindness to self...little old you/us/me.
Dont forget yourself in all this concern for others. Just be nice to you.

Very good reminder. Thank you.

A lifechanger 🤗

This is perfect for me! His voice is kind and soothing, like my inner voce needs to be. Thank you!

Really loved it! Very insightful!

Wonderful reminder to befriend ourselves and then extend that friendship, once it has flowered within us, to others. Thank you.

Really loved this one and needed the message.

I listen to this often , very well done Thank you

By far my most favorite go to daily med. mahalo 🌴❤️🌴❤️

All of my life I've never truly acknowledged that friendship starts within. Logically, I've understood this. Today, after this wonderful meditation, I feel it within my heart. Mistrust and judgement have become a big part of my life. I've gone through a lot of trauma and I've wondered why it's so hard for me to make friends as an adult and I see it's because I've had such a hard time trusting myself and others since childhood. I don't need to remain this way however. It starts with simple love towards myself and letting go of my imperfections and judging them. I am blessed to be alive each moment

Very helpful and very simple- thanks for reminding me to love and be friends with myself

Thank you! I needed this reminder last night... Blessed to have seen it this morning.🙌🏽

This wasn't what I expected, but it was exactly what I needed right now. Thank you🙏🏽.

Nice reflection.