84. Removing Doubt: 7 Ways to Find Certainty In A World Of Chaos

Kabbalah teaches that we can place total trust in the Creator in all situations. This is more difficult to do than say. When the world is in turmoil, how do we transform our fears into unwavering certainty that every obstacle we encounter is meant for us to learn and grow from? Listen to this live-recorded episode with Monica and Michael Berg as they discuss how to find clarity in chaos. Big Question: How do we transform fear into certainty?

Transcript

We go to great measures to protect things in life. You do all these things, Great measures to go to protect the things that you appreciate and it seems obvious, Right? Because the alternative would just let people take your things. But we don't guard the things that are most valuable to us, Really. And that is our potential. And we allow fear to steal that from us each and every day when we feed the fear rather than challenge it. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to the Spiritually Hungry podcast, Episode 84. All right, So we decided to take our podcast on the road and do some live episodes. And we were talking about the different topics we wanted to discuss. Many different people were coming over to us at the time saying we want to talk or we want to hear about fear and uncertainty. And then the world got a little bit crazier with Russia and Ukraine's situation. And you know, Even after and still in this pandemic, I think it's a very timely and appropriate topic. And in fact, I always think it's a timely topic, Which is why I wrote a book about fear, Because it is something that connects us all. If you're living and you're breathing, Fear does come up and exist in your life. And I would say, First of all, If you haven't yet read Fear Is Not An Option, It is available in Spanish as well for all of our friends here, To all of our listeners all over the world, Please stop the podcast right now and go ahead and purchase your Fear Is Not An Option book. I don't ask him to say these things. I think it's important. I would only add that, Kabbalistically, We know that there are no coincidences. And that means that everything that happens in the world, Certainly pandemics, Wars, While there are always reasons and forces behind it, There is also an important lesson, Learning, Change that each one of us needs to take from it. And the fact that it has become so clear to the world that we are living in such uncertain times is and should be a great impetus for all of us to gain more understanding, Consciousness, And tools, How we can live, Because that's why we are experiencing it, How we can live a life that is with more certainty, That is even a midst of so much chaos and so much peace. I'm going to tell you a little secret, But it's not a secret to you. And it's illustrated in the news that we've seen recently, But there are no guarantees in life. And the only guarantee we ever have is having that connection and certainty with the Creator. And I know we're going to unpack it, But that is the bottom line of everything we're going to talk about. A very wise man named Michael Berg told me once, And often I think this is the message you share overwhelmingly with all of us, Is that we need to place total trust in the Creator in all situations. You said, The light of the Creator is involved in this, It's exactly what the Creator has prepared for me, And the light in the situation will transform me. And that is a big thing to actually be able to live. First it's really hard to comprehend in a way, Because we bring up things like disease and losing people too soon, Wars, Bad things happening to good people, It brings up the questions of time, Really. And then if you wrap your head around this idea that that is the only certainty of life, And really trusting that process, Then the next big question is, Well then how do you live it? So I think we'll be answering those questions today. And the truth is, There's no guarantees to a happy, Peaceful life. I mean, We go about life thinking that things are going to turn out exactly as we want, We're going to have the amount of kids that we want to have, They're all going to be healthy or as smart as we think they'll be, They'll turn out exactly as we planned, We'll marry the person we planned on marrying, We'll have the job we planned on having, And then those things don't work out. So really, The only certainty we can have is to lean in to the process and make meaning and derive purpose from that, And those experiences. I think that's maybe a very important point, That the thought that we ever really have control, That I, You, Any one of us actually has control on what is happening, Certainly what will happen, Is a silly thought. Unfortunately, We often go through life until something important or chaotic happens with that belief. Unless we really remove from our thought that idea that I can know what is going to happen over the next one year, Five years, Ten years, You can't even begin the process of attaining the consciousness necessary and the tools necessary to be able to have certainty in uncertain times. Well, Spending your time in that space of fear, Right? We put ourselves outside of ourselves every day in the world, Right? The alternative is to do nothing. We reach out to people to become friends. We don't know if that friendship will be reciprocated. You can say the same about romance or love, And then we wake up in the middle of the night, 4 a. M. Usually, What if this happens? What if that doesn't happen? And all of those things, We place our thoughts and our energy into the fear, Into the uncertainty, And there's a far easier way to really look at what is being offered and say, Okay, There's no option not to live. I mean, You can certainly avoid living risk, Right, Having a risk-averse existence, But then you also have a joy-averse existence. Right, I think this may be the most important message from tonight. The fact that every one of us needs to know that we, I and you and every single one of us can live a life whereby even through the chaotic, Uncertain times, We can maintain both certainty and peace. And I think that's really what we want to awaken within ourselves this evening, But it begins with the understanding that it's possible. And we have seen people achieve it. We ourselves have experienced that certainty through chaotic situations. But unless you really understand, First, As we said, That life is uncertain as a base reality, Any time we thought that I know what is going to happen, How this is going to play out, That was a fallacy. Well, Uncertainty basically, By definition, Is a lack of clarity in the outcome, But also, I guess, In the process. So again, We think that we'll get married and we know how that marriage is going to end up. And that's usually the way we envisioned it. We think that, Again, We bring kids in the world and we never imagined they might grow up, God forbid, To be Ted Bundy. Right? I mean, You don't go through life with those kinds of certainties, But we expect to have them. And then when things go in a way that is different from what we expected, Then the fear kicks in. So they're very close friends, Uncertainty and fear. But fear is a sharper edge because it's like having a crystal ball, Like, Oh, I feel this so completely. It terrifies me. It's like I'm in every fiber of my being, Where uncertainty kind of just feels vague, But they're really closely related. Right. So the question, Of course, Is what is the process by which, Because it is a process, And I want to make it clear, This may be the most important work that we do in our lives. You know, Sometimes maybe when a person is younger or at a certain point in a person's life, We believe, You know, I can see how things are going to work out. But what is absolutely certain is that every single one of us is going to come to a point in our lives, Many of us probably have had many of them, Where we just can't make sense of what's going on in our lives and certainly can't make sense of what's going on in the world. So to begin with, I would focus on the work necessary to create, To have the strength of consciousness. And let me be very blunt and say that unless this is a constant focus and work, It's impossible to achieve. If it is something that we focus on and work towards, Strong consciousness, Then I promise you that we can achieve a life where everybody else is maybe enveloped in chaos and uncertainty, And we feel complete certainty and peace. But to achieve that, There's something, We spoke about this I think some months ago in our podcast, We call it mind hygiene. Right? That idea that in order for our mind to be strong and certain and at peace through uncertain times, We have to clean our mind. For example, If you are spending your day or too much of your day or you're weak thinking negative thoughts about other people, Thinking even negative thoughts about yourself, Those thoughts cloud the mind. You can listen to a thousand lectures and a thousand podcasts about certainty in uncertain times, You will never be able to achieve it. Only if you take seriously the work of cleaning the mind of what you can call mind hygiene, Can you even begin the process to think about how and using the tools to achieving peace when there's chaos around you. We talk about in Kabbalah especially, Consciousness is everything, But I think we need to stop for a second and say, Okay, We can all have consciousness, But very often we have the wrong consciousness, One that is steeped and rooted in fear and doubt and worries and uncertainty. As soon as we feel a pain we didn't have before in our body or we find a new gray hair, We start to think the worst and we catastrophize. Maybe you don't think about the gray hairs. Do I have any gray hair? Does that affect you? But we go to those places and it doesn't allow for, There's no pause, Right? It's just we see something, Effect, Effect, Effect, And you're not really living a life where you are in the driver's seat, Where you are choosing your consciousness and choosing a higher state of perspective. Right, Absolutely true, But I would say again strongly that it starts the step before that. And I ask all of us to ask ourselves the question, Today, How many thoughts that are not, Let's say positive, Did you have? Kind or supportive. Kind, Supportive, How many of them were negative or judgmental? In this day, Right? In this day. And I know that unless you are actively protecting your mind, Which means again limiting, We're not meant to be angels, We're not meant to be perfect, But unless you're actively limiting the amount of negative thoughts that you bring into your mind, Forget about having peace and certainty through chaotic times. Impossible. I think everybody should really pause and count, Like how many, How many negative thoughts did we have today that were rooted in worry, Fear, Doubt, And just plain wrong? Or negativity towards other people, Or judgment of other people. I strongly. . . So how many did you have? That's a good question. Let me count. I think I probably win for the day. Yes, But the point is again, The point is not again to be perfect at it, But it is about taking it, Maybe the most serious work that we must do, Because without that, Nothing we say tonight, No podcast, Book, Wisdom you ever hear will be able to give you a sense of certainty and peace, Which is absolutely possible for every single one of us through those chaotic times. So again, I do think it's a point, Let's take three or five seconds for every one of us to think about this day. How many negative thoughts did we have about ourselves? How many negative thoughts did we have about other people? How many thoughts of fear, Of doubt, Of anger did we allow to enter into our mind? You know, Throughout the pandemic, Even when you walk into this hotel, When you walk into many stores, They give you the sanitizer. Today was upgraded. Yeah, We actually, Monica and I went for a walk with our kids today, And every place we walked into, It's a surprise because in New York and LA, This was a little bit less felt in London as well, But everybody gives you sanitizer. Everybody was aware, At least through the early stages of the pandemic, You have to keep, You know. No, But here you have to sanitize your shoes. Oh, We found that. Yeah, What is that, By the way? But by the way, I want to get one for the house. Does anybody have a good explanation? That's kind of cool for the house. I don't know. Well, You have to sanitize your shoes before you walk into a store or a restaurant. Interesting. But again, The serious point is that. . . That's pretty serious. That's pretty serious. That we are not, None of us are keeping our mind sanitized enough. And unless we seriously take that work, Which means this evening, Tomorrow, After you hear this podcast, Be aware of the negative thoughts that are coming into your mind and say, Look, I might not like that person, And I might feel free to judge them, But I know one thing. If I allow that thought to enter into my mind, My mind is polluted. Well, You have to know what's at stake. So you said there was a step before the step I suggested, But I think there's a step before that, And that is, What is at stake here? What will we lose? And if you spend enough time in this state of mind, You basically lose days, And then you lose weeks, And then you lose years, And then the fear gets stronger and stronger, And those things that you imagine, The worst case scenario, Now are really polluting your mind, And you can't even see anything else. So you basically waste, It's a wasted life, Because you're spending time either in the past about things you feel badly about that you did, Or worried about the future, What might happen or what might never happen, And so what happened to this day? What happens to tomorrow? What happens to the next day? So have you, Does anybody come to mind that you've met that they were so rooted in fear of the unknown that they basically stopped their life? They didn't get married, Or they didn't have kids, Or they really didn't, They didn't do the things that they really desired because they were afraid of the outcome. Absolutely, I mean, Again, We have the merit to meet so many people all over the world. Great, Tell us a story. A person that I can think of. Well, I know somebody when it came to children, When they were so afraid of what kind of parent they would be. They came from a broken home, And they saw parenting that wasn't exactly right, And therefore they decided that they would either never have children or they wanted to take a long time before they were willing to have children. And again, That one example of so many, We know people, For example, Who are worried that they'll never find, Their soulmate will never find the person who really fulfills them, And therefore they either delay or unfortunately never come to marry or be with their soulmate. The idea that you said, Which is so important, The reason why this is so important is because nothing steals joy and happiness from our lives, Nothing steals time from our lives as much as fear and uncertainty. You know what comes to mind? So for, I mean, I don't know, I always assume people know us, But maybe you don't know everything about us. We have four kids, And our second son was born with Down syndrome, Which is just a side note for the story, But he graduated from high school a year ago. And I remember at his graduation, It was a room filled with parents who I think were experiencing the same emotions we had. They were moved, There were tears. It was seeing, You know, I think that the way that our children came into the world, Everybody in that room was different than most parents experience. There was some fear around it, Uncertainty, Unknown. The doctors scared us beyond when Josh was born, But he is actually one of the most fearless people I know, And he doesn't worry about anything, And he's certain that he will have all the things he desires. A wife, Whatever, It's absolutely happening. He's going to join a basketball team. He lives life in this beautiful reality for him. But I remember sitting in that room, And I thought, So our births didn't happen the way everybody in that room, Right, The way that we expected. The first few days of welcoming our children were not to be expected, But the overwhelming pride and joy on everybody's face was unanimous. Everybody had that. And then I thought, If you are so worried about outcome, Right, Sometimes the things that you don't want are better than the things that you actually wanted. And everybody in that room was full of pride and joy and happiness, Because what we had wanted or hoped for, What actually came about was much better than that. Absolutely. And it brings to mind a famous quote that I'm sure many of us have heard before, Marcus Aurelius, Who was seen as one of the most benevolent of the rulers at the time. He was also, Those of you who know the history, He was a very good friend of a great capitalist. His name is Ravi Uddanasi. But Marcus Aurelius wrote many words of wisdom. And one of them, And I think this is really one of the tools and ways that we want to develop for ourselves and hopefully for everybody here tonight and our listeners, Is this idea that what stands in the way is the way, Right? Because like you said, We think that we can plan and direct our lives for what is best for us. And then when something happens that is outside of either what we thought we desired or what is outside what our plan is, Suddenly we're taken aback. This is bad. This might be terrible. Rather than realizing, And I think this is the work of consciousness, That when you realize that what is in the way actually is the way, Which means that what is happening that I have not planned, What is happening that is outside of my plan actually will, Either immediately or over time, Be what is better for me than anything that I would have planned myself. But you need to shift your consciousness and you need to be all in and jump into the messiness of it, The stickiness of it, The discomfort of it to be able to find the gem and the pearl that's really there all along. And you need to practice it. Of course. So again, Another question I would ask every one of our listeners, Everyone here tonight, When was the last time that something happened that you didn't want to happen, That you didn't plan on happening from bad to terrible, That you were able to stop and say, Even if you didn't, Of course, You don't know how. The obstacle in the way is the way. This, Even though it's not clear to me how. Put that on a T-shirt. I like that. Yes. Okay. There you go. Soon you'll be able to buy it on spirituallyhungry. Com. Somebody write that down. Right. So when was the last time or ever in your life have you ever come to a situation like that, Again, From bad to terrible, That you said not only, Again, The obstacle in the way is the way, That not only am I not upset, Disappointed, Angered, Going to spend the next three days worrying about it, But actually know without knowing, Know without knowing that this situation that has entered into my life is actually perfect for me and actually is what is going to in some way make me better, Make my life better, Make my family better, And practice, Practice, Practice. That's basically what surrendering is, And people don't like that word because it sounds like giving up, But it's not. Surrendering is to stop holding on to your narrative and stop fighting the fight you believe you need to fight and leaning into something far greater. It's surrendering to something bigger than you, And it's really a beautiful experience when you do it. Yeah. I mean, I know in your book, Which maybe you'll share with our friends here tonight, There's a story that you tell about surrendering, But before that, I wanted to just underline this point because it's so important. And, You know, For Monica and myself, Really, When we share, Especially through Spiritually Hungry, Our desire, Although we enjoy speaking with each other, And I have to say I'm very happy to have all of you here this evening in the South, I was so excited to spend an hour or so talking with Monica. So kind of one of our date nights during the week, But also, Hopefully there's something that we can awaken that creates real inspiration and change. So I think if you want to cement that idea, When was the last time you understood or experienced the way is the way? Oh, All the time. All the time. So, Like I said, I think it's a gamut, Right? So last night, We were at a wedding and something happened that, You know, I thought was sort of out of what I thought the plan should be. And then afterwards, I was talking to somebody and I said something very simple, Which I believe wholeheartedly completely, Is that if this happened, The one thing we know is that this was absolutely the best thing to happen. That had our plan gone as we had hoped for it to go, It would have been less better than what actually happened. But I do want to make this very clear. Everybody here, Every one of our listeners can get to a life where our friends will look at us and say, You're crazy. This is happening in your life or this is happening in the world and you're at peace and you're actually happy about it. It doesn't make any sense. But if you practice, Practice, Practice. This is a story I often share, But it's one of my favorites. And this number of years ago, We were traveling from LA to New York on a flight and I sat in my seat and some other passengers were coming on board. And one of them was putting their luggage in the overhead compartment right over my head and they had a big venti, I think it's called, Starbucks, But one of those sticky ones, Right? One of those sticky sugary. And they, It fell out of their hands and the cup opened and it spilled all over me. So the first thought I had was, Oh my God, For the next six hours, I'm going to be sitting in sticky clothing. And my thought was, I'm so happy it wasn't me. But my second thought was, Even though I don't understand why, I have complete certainty that this is the perfect thing for me. You did, You really could, You recovered very quickly. And therefore the next six hours, Even though one could say, What are you sitting there in your sticky clothes, You must be uncomfortable, I can honestly say that the six hours were actually better for me because they actually had purpose. Even though I couldn't understand, I don't understand exactly why it was necessary for my development, For my growth to sit six hours in sticky clothes, I had clarity and certainty that that was the case. And therefore those six hours for me were not only better than had my clothes been unsoaked in sticky Starbucks coffee, But they were actually better and more purposeful. And therefore I cannot underline this or stress this enough. You have to practice this all the time. Which means again, You're stuck in traffic, Somebody said an unkind word to you, Something really bad happened, You can repeat those words in your mind. I might not understand exactly why this is for my best, But I have certainty that it is. And if you do that enough, That strength of mind becomes your reality. And then people will be looking at you and saying, This is happening in your business, This is happening in your family and you're so at peace and you're so happy, How can that be? Yeah, Because I practiced for a week, For a month, For a year, For five years, For 20 years. And let me say this also, Every one of us, Every one of us is going to come, Maybe as I said, You have, You will come to a point in your life to a situation that is overwhelming. And unless you practice this strength of mind, This consciousness for five years prior, 10 years prior, 20 years prior, You will be overwhelmed. You will not know what to do. You will be filled with fear and with confusion. But if you practice starting today, For the next day, Month, Year, Five years, I promise you, You will get to those situations and people around you will not understand how, But you will be at peace and you will be fulfilled and you will be happier through that process than not. Well, In Secrets of the Zohar, You promised for you to share a story of your surrender. I didn't promise. I promised. I didn't say anything like that. I have other, I have other intentions. I'll share it if you want me to later. Okay. I'll remind you, Let me make a note, One second. Or you could just read the book. Oh, Once again, If you haven't yet read Fears on an Option, Please make sure. The chapter on surrender. So Secrets of the Zohar, You wrote, From our birth until the day we leave this world, Fear is a constant challenge in our lives. So I look at it kind of like if we understand there is a healthy place for all of our negative emotions and they're there to wake us up and to shift and to change and to see the way we're living in a different way to challenge ourselves. So it's not that we want, That fear is horrible. We need to eradicate it, But we also need to understand it and we need to let go of it. So I will say this, In my book I identify three different types of fear. Because I think this is a really powerful way to navigate fear. So there's three types. There's healthy, Real and illogical. Healthy is as it sounds. It's set up for your survival and your protection. It's there to keep us safe. Like don't put your hand over an open flame. It could burn a person. Don't go too close to an edge of the cliff because you could fall. It's all of those things that keep us safe. And intuition is a part of that as well. It reminds me of this story because people often confuse fear and intuition. How do you know if, For instance, You go into, You park your car in a lot underground every day and you fear every day that something's going to happen, There will be somebody there that will cause harm or danger. But if you have that thought every day, Chances are it's not intuition because you have the thought every single day, Right? It's something that you are just afraid of. Intuition would be you never have that thought and then one day you have the thought. I would say take it seriously. And remember that actor John Larroquette from, Was it Night? The Night Court. I don't know if anybody here, I think that's not something. He's older. Anyway, He's an actor. It was actually one of my, For those American listeners, That was one of my favorite shows. I never watched it, But I liked the story about him. So he, It got my attention because he was from New Orleans like me and he had a childhood friend that they nicknamed Hannibal. I don't really know why, But it sounds like another interesting story. And they had a lot in common. They both suffered from alcoholism. They had a very turbulent childhood. And so they bonded in that way. And for whatever reason, One day he kept thinking, Or one week, About his friend. And his friend never answered the phone so he couldn't call him. So to actually check on him, He had to fly to New Orleans to go and see what was going on. And he tried to ring the doorbell. He couldn't get in. He found another way into the building and he goes to the door and he sees this king cake, Which is a famous cake during Mardi Gras. I'm giving you like history in my childhood that made me very happy, But it was sitting outside the door for two weeks. So then he got really worried and he broke the door in and his friend had died two weeks earlier. So that is that intuition, Right? Of course he was worried, He was fearful, But there is a place for that. So that is healthy fear. And there's a way to learn to practice your intuition, Which maybe we'll go into later. The other one is real fear. And that's based on reality. It's fear of disease, Aging, Death, Losing your loved ones. These are real fears we have in life, Right? But even with that, That can be transformed to be a motivator for growth. So for instance, If we take the idea of losing loved ones, Then make sure the time you spend with the people you love is purposeful, Is fun, Is engaging. And then you're saying, I love you. You're not fighting and picking. You're certainly not ruminating that thought over and over again of the day will come where I won't have them. You really experience them fully. So that also can be a good fear. Then there's illogical fear. And this is where most of our fears stem from. It's fear of elevators and snakes and rejection, Flying, Public speaking. It's all of those things that keep us small, That keep us from living our dreams, That keep us paralyzed in a state of constant worry and doubt. And that is what really stops us from living the life we're meant to live. Because we take all of those illogical fears seriously and we think about the what ifs. And if this happens and that happens, Then we just stay in this little box where we never make people too upset or we never make too much noise. We never go after the things that we want to do because we're worried about the outcome. And that is the fear that needs to be eradicated. Yeah. As you were saying that, It reminded me of a story, But you tell much better than I. So once again, I'll ask you. Is it that story about me? Yes. No, It's not about you. A number of years ago, We were flying with our friends in a small plane from LA to Las Vegas. And as we were, Those of you who've ever flown that route, You know, In Las Vegas, Sometimes it's very, Very windy. So Monica, Complete the story. She's a very fun friend, But she was very uncomfortable flying. And we are not and her husband was not. But there was a lot of turbulence growing up and down. And she starts to say, I don't want to f-ing die. She's freaking out, Screaming. I'm like, Nobody wants to die. We need to stop that right now. But she was full on in the throes of the illogical fear because the chances of dying other ways are much greater than the ones we worry about. Which brings us to another important idea, That the way we view our lives, The spiritual way, The Kabbalistic way to view our lives, Is that whoever I am today is meant to be even greater, Even better, Even more fulfilled, That a constant state of growth and change is necessary. If you don't live your life in that way, Then the next thing I'm going to say is going to be even more difficult. But I want all of our friends, All of our listeners, Everybody here to think about that, That if we view our lives as a process of growth and change, That who I am today, Speaking for myself, I want to be a different person tomorrow. I want to be a more transformed, Changed, Elevated version of myself next week. Then that leads us to the understanding of why situations occur that were not in my plan. Because every single one of those are perfectly created so that I can bring forth, Make manifest greater strength, Greater version of myself. Why did I have to sit for six hours in sticky clothes? Because that. . . You wanted to entertain me. But also because that process, Even though I can't understand the specifics of it, Made me a better person, Elevated me, Transformed me. And when you view life in that way, That wherever I am today, I am meant to be a different version tomorrow and the next day, That is one of the most powerful ways to be able to embrace all the un-thought, All the unplanned aspects that come into our lives. Understanding that they are perfect for me, That they were created in such a way to bring out of me. Each one of us has much greater power, Happiness, Wisdom than we're currently manifesting. No matter what you're doing, And hopefully many of us are doing very important and great things with our lives. But I know, And we should all know clearly, That there is so much more within me. And therefore, I have to always be growing and changing. But and this is the ancient Hebrew word, Nisayon, Which means challenges or tests are necessary. And they have a very clear and perfect purpose. Going through this is how I transform, Is how I elevate, Is how I manifest from me the greater version of myself. And therefore, In the ancient Hebrew, It's not coincidental that the word for elevation or ness is the same word for nisayon, Challenges and tests. And if you live your life in that way, That is how you, With joy and maybe even greater happiness, Embrace, Call it surrender, But embrace those unplanned situations. Because I know that the reason why this is coming into my life is perfectly. . . Whoops, Even that, Even that, Even that, Is perfectly set up, Is perfectly set up. I'm thinking about all this and this, I didn't know what just happened, But okay. Even that. . . Well, They can imagine. Yes, Something terrible just happened. Even that is perfectly prepared to be able to bring out of myself a better version of myself. Well, Think about the story we just told about our friend, Right, On the airplane. So you can either panic full on in that moment. You can say, Okay, Here's an opportunity for me to flex that muscle. Of course, You have to be in the game, Right? You have to realize that that's something you want to flex and you want to build. But it's those moments each and every day where, You know, You come, Let's say you come to Mexico and the elevation's giving you a headache and the pollution and whatever else. Okay, What's the opportunity? What can I actually. . . Do I take it as a sign as I wasn't meant to come or I shouldn't be here or it's something bad is about to happen? Or is it an opportunity to flex that muscle? And that really has to be the way that you kind of navigate life. Because again, Fear will be along for the journey. It's part of what is necessary for us to reach our evolved self. Absolutely. And if I can, There's a deeper concept here and I hope you know something Monica helps me unpack. Challenge is a good word too, As we just said. Some of the deeper concepts that I share, But this is so important and I was inspired by it today as I was studying. The unknown or as the ancient Cabalists call the Ain, The unknown, Has more light, More blessings than what is known, Than what is called the Yish, What exists. So that means that life must be filled, You actually want it to be filled with the unknown because there's so much more in the unknown than what is in what is. And again, I hope this is understandable, But what that means is that every time something happens, Even if it's fearful, Even again, It's a difficult challenge that you have to deal with, Remind yourself. And this has to become our mantra. In the unknown, There is more light and blessings and fulfillment than in the known. And therefore when the unknown occurs, Which what all of our fears, Most of our fears, 99% of our fears, Not from what is here, What it is, But the unknown. We are born with the fear of the unknown. But if you practice this thought, The unknown is greater, Has more blessings for me than the known, Then I don't want to know. I'm actually happier when my plan doesn't go to plan, When the situation that comes into my life is completely against or again, Even challenging or even fear awakening because I know that in that unknown, There is more light, There is more blessings than any of the ish, Any of the known that I already have. Well, It takes us, I think the story of Josh's graduation is a perfect example. I think that that really explains the feeling that I had that day. Everybody in that room really embraced the unknown. Nobody knew how their child, We never do, Right? But we're under the illusion that we know how our children will turn out, Right? Can I challenge you? I love to be challenged. So we don't know what the process was for all of those families. And let's talk about this, I think it's so important. So Josh was born 20, Almost 21 years, 20 years ago. And from that moment, We had two options. We could have listened to the doctors and all the negative things that they said and all the things that he won't do. So we could have lived 20 years in fear, 20 years in doubt, 20 years of unknown that leads to fear. Rather, We chose a different path. Do you remember though, At first I was like, What's going to happen when he hits puberty and what's going to happen at this age? And then I said, I don't even know, I mean, Let's look at today and then tomorrow, Let's look at tomorrow. Because you can put yourself in a whole spiral of doubt. But unfortunately, We know people who went through that process and it's possible people in that room in the graduation were families that started from day one with fear of the unknown. And we lived 20 years in fear only to realize hopefully 20 years later, It is much better than we thought. Yes. And that's where it goes back to- That's not a challenge, I agree with you. Yes, Yes. No, But what I'm saying was those families in the room, We don't know if their life for the past 20 years was filled with doubt and uncertainty. I don't know. And I'm sure that they probably had a harder path because we had a spiritual foundation to fall on. But what awakened me that day is that everybody had the same look on their face that we had. Their tears of joy and pride. And I don't know what they, What took them to get there, But that was the experience. It was not, You know, Nobody was suffering in that room. Absolutely. Yeah, And to the point that, Like you said earlier, Hopefully part of the awakening from this evening is that I will not allow fear of the unknown to steal a moment of joy from the now. Unfortunately, Too many of us do it too often. And again, None of us are perfect and none of us are meant to be perfect. But the understanding that through practice, Through wisdom, We can actually live a life that is more not known because none of us will ever get to known. The future is always going to be unknown, But the embracing and the joy of the unknown. And like I said before, I think because we do see this and there's a story again that Monica often shares, We were here in Mexico probably over 25 years ago. We were actually in Acapulco and there was a big earthquake. We were staying at a hotel with my father. You're on the 20th floor. 20th floor. And it was a big earthquake. I forget exactly how big, But it was a big earthquake. And I'm sure everybody in this room knows, But maybe a brother of this. The hotel was swaying. Everybody in the hotel ran down to the, Not to the outside. And the Ra of my father. . . Was eating a steak. Was eating, Was eating dinner. And again, He had lived his life practicing everything we spoke about this evening. And after everybody ran outside and everybody came back, Maybe half out. . . Well, By the way, When I say he's eating a steak, Very slowly. The Ra was a slow eater, But like still we're swaying. We stayed with the Ra, Eating like it's like nothing's happening. I mean, Really like nothing was happening outside of enjoying dinner. And therefore, What I'm so excited to share this evening is the fact that imagine what your life will be like if through an earthquake, Either actual or in our lives, You are able to maintain that certainty. And we've seen it. It's possible. We've acted. I'm sure many of us in times have acted in this way. We too often allow the theft of our moments of our days through fear. And there's another way. And that's the understanding. There's another way. So you brought up this. . . You brought up perfectionism. And I just want to bring up three points of things that we don't recognize as fear, But they are rooted in fear. So this is where it hides. The first is perfectionism. The need to be perfect is a mask we wear to protect ourselves from criticism and rejection. So we use, Again, We use these places that are actually motivated by fear, Right? But we don't recognize it. So perfection is very much fear-based. The other is settling. Settling for less than you deserve is a powerful indicator you're letting your need for certainty, But not as we understand certainty, The need for security, For comfort. . . For knowing the future. . . . For knowing to run your life. If you don't have an extraordinary, Passionate relationship and a job you absolutely love, You're living in fear. And procrastination, Always putting your goals off until tomorrow or when I have more time than a classic delay tactic of those who are living in fear. I used to be a big procrastinator until the day I realized that people who procrastinate are just worried about. . . They're unsure of the outcome, So then they actually delay finding out what that would be. By the way, I'm sure many of our listeners, Our friends here, Know in a few moments we'll be open to questions and I really hope that part of our joy in traveling throughout the world and sharing the Spiritually Hungry podcast is both hearing and interacting with our friends. Well, I do want to share one other tool because, I mean, We talk about a lot of ideas, But I want to just ground it a little bit so people can actualize what we're discussing. And this inspired me. It's actually something from Theta Healing. But it's a powerful question. So when we are facing fear, We can ask ourselves, What is the worst thing that can happen? Because what happens, Again, When the turbulence in the plane, Oh my God, It's going to crash and die. We're going to die. Well, What's really the fear? Like, What's the bottom line of that? So here's one example. If you ask a person, What is your greatest fear? And the answer, Their fear is being poor, Let's say. So what will happen if you're poor? I'll be on the street. And what if you're on the street? I'll suffer and die. And what if you suffer and die? I'll become nothing. So the fear wasn't really about being poor. It was about being nothing. And in this case, The work would then be to focus on understanding the infinite nature of your soul and building a connection with your soul versus working on fears around security. And that's why it's important to unpack fear. It's important to know yourself, To be emotionally intelligent. So the things we think we fear are not really what we fear. There's something else that's underlying. And when you recognize it, When you name the fear, It's easier to transform it. I do have a conclusion. I was going to say, No, One more, It's interesting, We have a friend who in this moment is going through different challenges in his business. And I had this conversation with him. So this is somebody who, Regardless of how this one, He has a few businesses, How this one business goes, He does not have to worry really about his life. And I had this conversation, What are you worried about? And he's up late at night and worried and taking care of things and literally living, Stealing months, Stealing months of joy. And I said, Let's talk about this logically. Let's assume the worst thing happens and this business goes out of business and you lose all the money that you invested. Are you or your family are going to have to worry about what you're going to eat, Where you're going to live, What you're going to do? He said, Absolutely not. I said, So how silly would it be? Yes, Of course it's important to find a way to fix the business, Find a way to make it work, Amazing. But the fear? That's a story, It's the fear of being nothing. Exactly, Exactly. And it came to the point that it wasn't about the business, It wasn't about the money, It was actually about the idea of how can I fail? How could I have failed? And so often in life, That's the reality, Where if we follow the fear thought all the way through, Okay, What's the worst? What's the worst? What's the real reason? We'll find that we're allowing what I would say ultimately silly reasons that are born from that fear to steal time from our lives. So let's wrap it up in a nutshell, Right? We go to great measures to protect things in life, Right? When you leave your house, You turn on the alarm and lock the doors. When you get in the car and you get out of it, You put the alarm on. If you ride a bike, You secure it to a rack, You put your money in the bank, You put your jewelry in the safes. You do all these things, Great measures to go to protect the things that you appreciate. And it seems obvious, Right, Because the alternative would just let people take your things. But we don't guard the things that are most valuable to us, Really. And that is our potential. And we allow fear to steal that from us each and every day when we feed the fear rather than challenge it. Absolutely. And if I would say if I can leave all of you maybe with four thoughts that we spoke about this evening. First, That a life I would say without any type of fear, But at least with much less fear than any of us experience now is absolutely not only possible, But what we're meant to achieve. The only way to get there is by protecting our consciousness, By protecting our mind, Not allowing our mind as we do all the time to be polluted by negative thoughts. That's the prerequisite of achieving a life of certainty through any type of uncertainty that comes into our lives. Third, The understanding that the reason why things do not go as planned. There's only one. Why did this happen? Why did this challenge occur? Why did this problem happen in my business? Why did this problem happen in my life, In my family? Is because this situation is meant to change me, To elevate me in such a way that my greater potential becomes revealed. And it's perfect for that. And then fourth, Practice, Practice, Practice. You get stuck in traffic, There's a small problem. Only if you are practicing this thought that the obstacle is the way, As Marcus Aurelius said, Then you'll find in a year, In five years, Then maybe even bigger challenges happen, People will be looking at you saying, How? How are you so happy? How are you so at peace with all this happening? I've practiced for five years. I've practiced for 20 years. That's how. So as we often say, We hope that our friends here tonight, Here in Mexico City, All of our listeners all over the world, That we have inspired, And as I said, For me, The reason this topic is so important, Because maybe this is the most important work that we must be doing every day of our lives, Because the benefit of it is so great. But I hope you enjoyed, Our friends here enjoyed our time here, Our sharing of some inspiration and wisdom, As much as Monica and I enjoyed sharing it, Maybe more importantly that it actually creates a change in your life. And now we're open to questions. Yes, Please. Questions, Please participate. Yes. So one of the first things I learned when I started studying is how you can choose what you see and what you hear. And in my case, And due to my personality and job, I have chosen to watch the news. So my question is, How can I protect myself from this opening I'm creating? Not watching the news is not an option. How can I protect myself from all these fears, Real, Irrational, That I'm seeing through the media? But why do you have to watch the news? Why do I have to watch it? I really enjoyed it. I like knowing about social, Political issues, Current issues, And because of my job, I need to be informed. It's not an option not to know what's happening with the political situation, Let's put it that way. Plus, I'm a journalist. Used to be a journalist, But it's not. Well, I would say two things. Maybe we don't always think about this, But we think that the mind's job or purpose is to take in information. But actually, Scientifically, The most important task of the mind is to limit the amount of information we take in. For example, And this is, Again, Scientifically proven, As we sit here in the room, There's more than a thousand things happening right now in this moment, Right? This person might be moving, This person might be listening, This person might be standing. So why is it that we're able to think clearly when there's literally, At every moment, Thousands and thousands of pieces of information entering the mind? Because the mind's most prominent purpose is to be able to filter out 99% of what is happening right now in this room for me, And allow me to focus on, Hopefully, What is important for me. So the ability to take in information, But not to be enveloped by it, Is only achieved through the daily practice of what we spoke about tonight, Which means next time you're stuck in traffic, Right? Because, By the way, I watch the news as well, And I would assume, Not knowing you well enough, That me and you can watch the same thing, And while we might both take in the same information, One of us might focus and think about it in a negative way that causes either fear or sadness more. You experience it differently. Right. The way we experience. So two people can take in, As happens throughout the world, The exact same information, But one person will take it in and hold it as information. Another person will allow it to emotionally, Or at least even in the mind, Go over and over and over. Practice, Practice, Practice. I promise you that if every day of your life when the small things happen, Your sister or brother or mother or father or friend say something you don't like, And you stop and you say, This is happening because I need to, This is only for my good, The obstacle is the way, What is in the way is the way, And you will find that then you will watch the same thing that a week ago got you so upset and you spent five hours, Maybe five days, Thinking about it that it makes you sad, And it doesn't anymore, Or at least less, Number one. And I would question when you say, And again you have to watch it, You know, We have to ask, We have to be very thoughtful about what we do allow into our lives. And sometimes we say I have to, But it might not be do I have to do 100% or is 70% enough? If we are truly aware of the need for mind hygiene, We're much more thoughtful. Maybe instead of, Again, Watching five hours, We watch two hours. Instead of two hours, We watch one hour. The reason we allow ourselves to go into those situations is because we don't enough appreciate the importance of mind hygiene. So those are the two things I would say, Practice, Practice, Practice in all areas, And you'll find that watching the same thing creates a negative reality for you less than before. And second, Awaken a greater appreciation for the need for you and for all of us, Really, Of course, To protect our mind. Thank you. You know, When I ruptured my tendon, I was not able to move around a lot after the surgery, And so I'd have the news on while I was working. I mean, I never really watched TV. And it struck me that a lot of the news was creating the way the narrative is. It's very alarmist. Like, You know, Even about Thanksgiving, You better run and get your turkeys this year or running out. Is there Thanksgiving in this world? I don't know, But there's Thanksgiving in the world, And everybody eats turkey for the most part. And I'm like, First of all, I don't eat turkey. I'm like, I don't care what the. . . And I realize throughout the day, I'm like thinking about like there's a lack, Right, Running out of gas. And while there may be some aspect of truth, I don't need to accept that as complete truth, A, Right? Again, As Mihai was saying, To protect your thoughts and how much you allow to influence you and come in, Because there are other agendas and things that we watch even in the news that's reported. And also know that your mind is going to. . . It hears these things. There's something called negativity bias, Which is it's going to protect you as soon as there's a perceived threat. How can I protect my sense of survival? And it's something I actually wanted to talk about, Because if we look back at like 10, 000 years ago and you look back at hunters and gatherers, Their day-to-day was about survival. So let's say they visited 10 caves in a day, Right, To go look for food. And then they looked for nests and eggs, And all but one cave they found eggs, But in one cave they found a bear. What are they going to remember from that experience? They're going to remember the bear. Why? So they can be cautious in their day-to-day activities. They can make sure. . . So you're going to gather all this information and you're going to hold on to it because you feel like you need to protect yourself. Just be aware of everything, Right? You can be informed, But you don't have to be threatened or feel threatened. You can be informed but not feel worried, Right? You can take active measures and steps to make sure that you feel secure and you're able to influence others to also feel positive in that way. And I would only add to that that, Kabbalistically, There's a very simple test to know whether the information we're gathering is the right information, Whether the emotion we're feeling is the right emotion. Simple test. Is this emotion propelling me to action to do or is it stopping me? Is it making me not do? Is it making me down or up? And up doesn't mean happy, But I see something, I'm going to act upon it. If you find anything you watch, Anything you listen to, Anything you do, Any thoughts that you have stop you from action, Then you have to limit those. The only thoughts you want to allow and only information you want to allow is information that propels you to do, Information that, An emotion that leads you to action. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. What's your name? Lydia. Thank you for coming to Mexico City first. I'm going to read it. I have felt that every time I trust my physical body, I have less fear and more certainty in myself and the Creator. How does this relate with the spiritual realm? Can you explain that a little bit more when you say trust your physical body? Because when I was little, For example, I didn't, I was like in illnesses and everything, And now I'm much more healthier. So now I trust my body and I feel certainty. So how does this relate with the spiritual, If it's physical? Right. Well, Everything's body, Mind and spirit, And you can't have just one operating and not the other. I think that sometimes we heighten just the spiritual and we ignore other aspects of ourselves. So it goes back to intuition, Right? When you, Sometimes people ask me a question, I say, Okay, Ask yourself the question, And what feels better to you? Like, Should I do this or that? And realize what happens to your body as you say one answer versus the other. When you say the truth, Actually, You feel more relaxed. Your back is lifted. Your breath is deep and slower, Right? When we feel or say something that is not attached to our soul, Our body tightens, Our breath shortens. And of course, The body is going to indicate things that the soul knows, And it's our way of understanding it and hearing it. So there's no, It's actually to be very connected. Your body, Mind and spirit need to inform each other and work together. Absolutely. I would just add to that. There's a really great book. It's called Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers. And the idea is, And this is why tonight, Even though we, Maybe we spoke a lot about the spiritual, And that's a very scientific-based book, We have to understand what we say. Everything we spoke about tonight is as important for the body as it is for the soul, For our mind, For our consciousness. Because living in fear, And this is scientifically proven, Is actually what creates so much of our disease, So much of our issues within our body. So it is not, To be very clear, Everything we spoke about tonight is not simply spiritual concepts, Even consciousness as one would call it, Or even hygiene of the mind. But actually, And this is again another promise, That as you develop these strengths in the mind or even from a spiritual place, It will actually be better for your body. The body-mind connection, As Monica mentioned, Is both absolute and learn from each other and necessary. So it's absolutely both connected and everything we spoke about, Even though it is on some way of consciousness and thought, It is an absolute influence constantly on our body. Thank you. Thank you. Hi Monica. Hi. What's your name? Andrea. Andrea. Okay, I'm going to translate. How does one do not to pass his own or her own fears to other people, Including kids or nephews? We need to work on them. That's a very, Very good question. And I'll just begin it by saying that the way that we think about our own fears is that we need to work on them. That's a very, Very good question. And I'll just begin it by saying that tonight, Again, What we shared tonight is so important. Again, What we shared tonight was not our own wisdom. It's wisdom from ancient teachers. Because besides, As we just said before, The influence on the body and disease, The influence on our children, On our families, It's actually a scientific fact that just as disease is transferred one person to the other contagiously, If you're sitting next to somebody who's nervous, That to some degree will absolutely influence you. You will catch fear from those around you. So those of us who think about ourselves, Parents, Friends, The reason we want to get better at this is not just for ourselves, But I don't want my children to be affected by any fear. If you're sitting in a room with your kids and you're fearful, Whether or not they ever hear a word of why, They have now gotten some more fear into their lives. So this work is so important, Again, Not just for ourselves, Not just for our mind, Not just for our body, But also because we are feeding everybody around us with where we are. Fear, They get fear. Certainty, They get certainty. So the only thing I would say is listen to this podcast and use it because the practice we spoke about, The understanding that everything that is happening in my life is the way to elevate me, And therefore I am able to experience the challenges in a way that does not create fear or at least creates less fear. I need that. I need to be working on that and practicing that because I want my children, I want my friends around me, I want everybody who comes in contact with me to not be receiving the contagion of fear, But rather receiving the energy of peace that exists within me. And it is absolutely, Again, As I said before, There are many scientific studies on this, This is an absolute fact, That our state of mind, Our emotional state certainly influences those around us. Absolutely. So the need for practice, The need for really investing the time and effort of everything we spoke tonight is so important, Not just for ourselves, But yes, For our family members, For those around us, For our friends, Because we are influencing them absolutely all the time, Whether they even hear about what we're fearing or what we're uncertain about. After. . . I just want to add, And I wrote about this in Fears on an Option, But I used to have a fear of elevators, And it was an illogical fear, But I had it since I was probably six years old. And I remember when I was younger, I thought. . . Not when I was younger, When I was older, I thought, Okay, Well, Where did this fear come from? You know, Did my mom lock me in small boxes? You know, Where. . . How did I develop this? Because it just started one day. Did she? No, Not that I can recall. But I remember one day I was in an elevator, And I just. . . I became terrified that the doors wouldn't open. I was hyperventilating and pulling my shirt up and down. I was not even a teenager, So it was G-rated. But then when we moved to New York, And I had had enough experience with fear and life, And I had started working on Fears on an Option, I realized that I'm stronger than the fear, And I don't need to take the fear with me. And I used to climb up 20 flights of stairs in L. A. To avoid the elevator, But in New York there's elevators everywhere, And that's not possible. So I don't have that fear anymore. But funnily enough, One of my kids, I'm not going to out that one, Developed the fear the same age. And I thought, You know, She never saw me have the fear, Because by the time she was born I overcame the fear. So how did she have the fear? Where did it come from? And there is something called epigenetics, Which is whatever your ancestors or your parents, Your parents' parents did or thought actually is encoded in the child. So if your great-great-grandfather smoked, That actually affects you today even. But besides that, What I do, So the point is, Even if you hadn't, If I hadn't overcome the fear of elevators, You can still offer the remedy to her, And maybe she could overcome it, Right? So whenever we take an elevator now, We tell jokes, We tell riddles. And I also remind her, This is not who you want to be ultimately. You want to be somebody where fear doesn't stop you from going to explore, Being curious, Or doing things that frighten you, Right? So help work through the process even if you're not there yet. Thank you. We have one more question. Good evening. So I've listened to you tonight to speak about spirituality, And there's a reality happening on the other side of the world, Which is a war, And it's something real that it's happening. And I would like to ask two questions. The first one is, Can you help me understand my soul, Why this is happening? And what's the stance of the Kabbalah Center with this situation? So I'll answer both questions with one answer. Rav Aslak, The founder of the center, Writes that in our world, There's two groups of people. There are what he calls the builders of the world, Those who are involved in doing good not only for themselves, But making things better in small ways and great ways. They're called the builders of the world. And then there are those who are called the destroyers of the world, Those who through action create destruction, Create death. And while of course it is important that through political means and otherwise, Whenever there are great calamities, Wars, Destruction in the world, That that has its place, But Kabbalistically we ask the question, What is the root? Why does our world still have war? Yes, There's a war right now, But there was a war a year ago and five years ago and 20 years ago and 50 years ago and 100 years ago and 200 years ago. Why does our world still have wars? And the answer is because there aren't enough builders of the world. We collectively, And I say we, Of course not just everybody in this room or everybody listening to us, Are responsible for everything that happens in our world. And while of course not every one of us has the physical influence to create the change or the cease of war and calamities and destruction and death, We are not, None of us are living up to our responsibility. And therefore, Because you're asking a question to the rest of us, Not just to presidents or leaders, And what I would say is that if, And this I can say, This for thousands of years the Kabbalists have been speaking about it, To give the example that 100% of our world consciousness desire and action was to build this world, There would never be any wars. There would not be any destruction. There would not be any death. So for me and for you and for every one of us, The question of how do I bring an end to this war, We don't have the answer tomorrow, Not even the leaders have the answer to that question, But we do have what we must do. And the question we have to ask ourselves is how do I become a builder of the world? And that has to become into action. Whatever that means for you, Whatever that means for me, Whatever that means to any one of us. And I promise you that the day that enough of us, Us, I mean humanity, Thinks in that way and does what they can to not be a destroyer of the world but a builder of the world, There will be no more wars. And that really is the position of the Kabbalah Center and it's the work that we do. We have to change the consciousness of the world. Yes, It begins up with a lot of what we shared tonight, But it also begins with that understanding. Our world has two forces, Building and destroying. The only question that I have to ask myself is how do I manifest, How do I become more strongly a builder of the world? And I would say again, None of us are doing enough. None of us in this room, None of us listening to us are doing enough. We can do more. And that's not, I don't, I can't call it the answer, But that's the direction. And really if you want to ask the question why does the Kabbalah Center exist, That's the reason it exists. Because we know that when this consciousness permeates the world, When more and more, At least let's call it 51% of humanity, Desires and pushes themselves to be a builder in their life in whatever sphere of influence that they have, Wars will not exist. So that's the question that has to be, We have to ask ourselves. I know I'm not doing enough. I know that I want to be a builder of this world. What can I do more? And when that question permeates more and more people, Not only does more good happen, But ultimately, Ultimately, Yes, There can be no more wars if the majority of the world is of this consciousness, Is of this desire. Thank you. Gracias. So thank you again to all of our friends here. We really enjoyed this time with you and we hope one of many more now that the world is a little bit more open. But thank you all for coming and I hope that in our sharing this evening there is something that you can take that creates a positive change, That creates a positive inspiration in your life. Thank you. I'm spiritually hungry.

Reviews

Wonderful Especially your answer to the last question.
“Why is there war and other bad things in this world. “ your answer
That each of us needs to ask ourselves “what am I doing to make the world better? Not only for the world, but for myself but those around me”.

Thank You both of all your insight, knowledge and teaching around the world