18. Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality!

In this episode of Spiritually Hungry, Monica and Michael explore the potent influence our thoughts have on our reality and why it behooves us to practice reinforcing our positive thoughts – while not giving gravitas to the negative ones. Listen as they take a deep dive into the power of our thoughts and how by changing them we can change our consciousness and, in turn, our reality.

Transcript

In reality,

There's probably nothing else that is as important and has as much influence and impact on our lives than how and what we think.

If your mind is in a negative state,

Then you are in a negative place.

The power of the mind,

Your ability to change what you think,

To redirect your thoughts,

Is our greatest attribute actually.

Often people just don't take advantage of that.

That's our power,

That's our superpower,

That's our strength.

Next time you have a thought,

Can I possibly do this?

Remind yourself it's not just you,

It's you and the light of the creator or you and the entire creative force that brought this world into being that is connected to you.

If you have that consciousness,

Then of course there's nothing that you can't do.

Of course there's nothing that you can't manifest.

I think that our minds are very powerful and in the process of training them to think in a different way,

These little tools I think really help.

Welcome to Spiritually Hungry Podcast,

Episode 18.

I'd like all of our listeners to do something for me today.

I want you to close your eyes.

Now if you're listening to this podcast while you're driving,

Then don't do that.

But I'd like you to all imagine,

I want you to not think about white bears.

So think about whatever you want,

But whatever you do,

Just don't think of white bears.

How good you're joining us,

Michael.

Yes.

All right.

Now you can open your eyes.

How,

Well,

I'm going to ask you,

Did you think about white bears?

In the beginning,

I mean,

I started thinking about something else.

I'm sure most people thought about white bears because what you tell yourself not to think about usually you do.

And what we're going to talk about today are thoughts.

They're very powerful.

Some are negative and hopefully some of our thoughts are positive,

But any which way they are powerful.

And the thing about the mind is,

Especially when you try not to think about something,

Right,

Like something that bothered you or something that irritated you,

You felt bad about,

You think about it over and over again.

You ruminate about it.

You kind of become obsessed with it.

And there's something that psychologists have identified.

It's called ironic process theory,

Also known as the white bear problem,

Which is it's a process where the mind attempts to avoid certain thoughts,

Which makes them all the more intrusive.

In fact,

Telling yourself not to think about a white bear only encourages your brain to do exactly that.

And as Eckhart Tolle has said perfectly,

What you fight,

You strengthen and whatever you resist persists.

I also really like Louise Hayes.

You know,

I've been a fan of her work for over 30 years and she speaks a lot about thoughts and the mind.

And we know that thoughts create a reality.

I think that that is a point that nobody would argue today,

Wouldn't you say?

It creates our reality.

It's a good question.

I'm not sure everybody would agree.

Actually,

After this podcast,

I think that hopefully you will.

Well,

Actually,

Interestingly,

You know,

One of the things we did before this podcast is we asked on Facebook and on Instagram for our listeners to send in questions.

And interestingly,

You raised that because there was actually a question I believe it was on Facebook.

And by the way,

Thank you to all of our listeners.

Yes,

For writing to us.

For writing and a lot of what we're going to speak about today either directly or in some way addresses and answers some of your questions.

But there was a question,

Let me find it quickly,

From Louise.

He asked the question,

In what measure do our thoughts influence our reality?

And I think that a lot of people might not fully accept that it has an influence on what happens.

And I think they really hopefully in this podcast will address both sides of this.

I think one of the things that is unquestionable is the fact that our thoughts influence our experience of life,

Regardless of what is happening.

The second,

I think,

More controversial,

But me and you both agree with this strongly and we've seen this in action,

That our thoughts actually influence what happens.

So I think there's really two parts to the power of thoughts.

One is the fact,

And this again,

As I said,

Undisputable,

That our thoughts about what is happening,

Our thoughts about our lives influences our experience of it.

And the other part of it,

Which is that spiritually we believe that how we think about things,

Where our consciousness is influences what actually happens.

And I think those are two separate things,

Which obviously all have to do with the power of thoughts and important for us to address.

And thank you,

Louise,

For sending in the question.

So back to Louise.

Hey,

She says,

Imagine your thoughts are like drops of water.

When you think the same thought over and over again,

You create this incredible body of water.

At first a puddle,

Then a pond,

Then a lake,

And finally an ocean.

If our thoughts are negative,

We drown in a sea of negativity.

If our thoughts are positive,

We float in the ocean of life.

So basically what she's saying is that your thoughts become your beliefs and your beliefs inform your choices that you make.

And I don't think,

I mean,

If there's one thing we can leave you with,

If you get nothing else,

I know,

But that your thoughts,

Because a lot of people,

I think,

Think,

Oh,

You know,

I just thought it,

I didn't act on it.

It was a thought that I had.

Nobody knows what I was thinking really.

What did it really do?

But in fact,

What you think absolutely then informs the choices that you make.

Yeah.

And again,

Sometimes I think you make these statements are so important and we sort of gloss over them and go on to the next.

I really would like everybody listening to this podcast right now would stop and really think about what you just said,

Right?

That our thoughts,

Because they do not have physicality,

We mistakenly give them less import than other things that we do or even things that we say.

When in reality,

There's probably nothing else that is as important and has as much influence and impact on our lives than how and what we think.

Well,

I know every single thing I have manifested to this point in my life began with a thought.

Every single thing.

Now,

I haven't take my thoughts very seriously and I also try to direct them into a positive way,

A positive frame.

And therefore,

It's working for me,

Right?

But there was a time in my life,

20,

30 years ago,

Where I had a lot of negative thoughts,

Especially about myself,

Which we'll go into later,

And it also hindered what I was able to manifest.

And it stopped me full stop.

For sure.

And I think there's actually,

By the simple way to put it,

Not everything that we think can become,

But certainly what we do not think cannot become,

Right?

Everything begins with a thought.

We will never,

And I do want to address this.

But see,

I do want to say something because even though everything we think may not manifest,

However,

If you keep directing your thoughts in a positive way and you keep thinking in that way that you are deserving of good things,

That you are meant to reveal your greatest potential,

That you do have something unique to offer the world,

Even if what you thought you were going to do doesn't manifest,

Something else will.

So I think that no matter what,

When you direct your thoughts in a positive way and you allow that to be your roadmap for life,

You will never be disappointed.

You might be surprised,

But you're not going to be disappointed by where you end up.

And you might be surprised for a little bit and then understand.

If I can go just a little bit deeper in this because I do think this is a very important point.

And I think there's some,

I don't want to say mistake,

But some ways that people think about this that I'm not sure is exactly correct.

So for instance,

There is this idea that if you think,

And again,

Not speaking negatively about other schools of thought,

But there's this general teaching out there that if you think something,

You can draw it to yourself.

That's like the positive thinking,

Psychology.

Right.

And that's not necessarily true.

Well,

That's not what I'm saying.

Right,

Right.

I understand.

But I want to explain a little bit,

I think what I think is the spiritual underpinnings of the right way to think about this.

And I think it begins with humility.

You and I believe that,

And I'm sure many of our listeners do,

That there's a force bigger than me at play in my life in this world.

That force is smarter than me.

We call it the creator.

You can call it the universe.

Different people have different names for it.

Smarter than me,

Knows better than I do in this moment what is actually for my ultimate good.

And therefore what we're saying is that the right thought process or thinking in a positive way connects you in a deeper way to that force,

Making what is good for you come more quickly,

More actualized,

And therefore the life that you will draw for yourself and manifest will be one that is filled with more blessings.

But the process might not be exactly what you want.

And that's also good.

For instance,

I often use this example.

There's a story that the Kabbalists have used for thousands of years.

There's a biblical king,

His name was King David.

His childhood was very- I think pretty much everybody's familiar with King David.

Or his biblical story.

Right.

But so in the biblical story,

He's brought up and he is hated by all of his brothers.

And his father treats him the worst of all of them.

And they really think that he's a nobody.

They treat him literally as a slave,

As a nothing.

Cinderella,

Cinderella.

Exactly.

And then the story goes that when the prophet at the time,

Samuel,

Is going to choose the king,

Who eventually chose King David,

He comes to Yishai,

His father,

And he asks him,

I know I have been told.

By prophecy,

That one of your children is going to be the king.

He brings all of the sons and doesn't even bring David because he knows he's a nobody.

There's not possibility he's the king.

Of course,

Samuel,

The prophet says,

No,

This is the one,

He's the anointed one.

He's the one who's chosen to be king.

But they say something very interesting.

Why did David's first years of life have to be so really sad?

His father not really liking him that much,

His brothers treating him so poorly,

All those years.

They say because he was meant to be king.

And had his ego not been broken down by those earlier years,

Then being chosen to be king,

His ego would have been out of control.

He would never have been able to fulfill in the right way the purpose of his life.

So the point is there,

David could have had the most positive thoughts all those years.

Still the most perfect thing for him at that time was to go through a process where his brothers belittle him.

So it wasn't that that in an instant because he was having positive thoughts,

He would have been able to change his reality.

But what hopefully he was able to do is know that this is actually ultimately for his benefit.

But the point is this,

Right?

I'm not saying and I agree with you.

I'm not saying to have positive thoughts about life and the outcome necessarily.

How do we know what David was thinking at the time?

Was he thinking badly?

Did he believe that he was somehow less than or not worthy because he had all this opposition thrown his way?

Or did he actually think that this was part of his process?

The point is this,

Right?

When it comes to thoughts,

I think the most important thing,

It's not just to be positive about the outcome.

I don't even think we're either one of us the same.

I think it's about what do you think about yourself in the process of disappointment,

Of rejection,

Of hurt,

Of life?

What's your experience of it?

Exactly.

And then I think that's the point.

I think the point is that when your mind and your thoughts are directed in the right way,

Then your experience of what others might objectively say is a challenge or disappointment,

Your experience of it will be of a positive nature.

Exactly.

Because somebody who talked about this too,

The same thing can happen to two people,

Right?

And one will,

It won't even change anything.

And for another,

It will break them completely and change where their life is going,

Right?

It just all depends on your perspective.

But I think this leads into what kind of negative thoughts do we have about ourselves,

Right?

And you don't go there in your mind,

You never were that person,

Which I've always loved about you.

But I think for a lot of our listeners and a lot of people in the world,

There's a lot of self thought that is very negative.

And I want to hear what you were about to say.

Do you?

No,

I'm sorry.

I just want to underline what you just said.

Because I'm so appreciative of all of our listeners who sent in these questions,

And especially because you're about to address it.

They're actually two,

I believe these came to your Instagram.

And one was from Andrea.

And she says,

I fear I am pushing myself back by not believing I am capable or worthy of greater things.

The thought of I can't do this,

I won't ever be able to do this is something I can't get past.

It's exhausting.

And then Luca said,

Same here,

When things start to manifest,

I get scared and self doubt.

So things never actually happen because I self sabotage.

What should one do to avoid this?

Which I think leads exactly to what you're about to say.

What's interesting is a lot of people who want to be successful also fear the success.

I had that for many years,

To be honest.

So for a lot of people,

The thoughts we have about ourselves are often not gentle.

They're not encouraging.

In fact,

They're the opposite.

And I'm just going to go through a list of a few things because I want to bring it to where we are.

Most of us are in our minds very often.

And it sounds more like this.

I'm overbearing,

Incompetent,

I'm lazy,

I'm selfish.

I'm a terrible parent.

I'm rude and temperamental.

So what are you actually going to be able to create in your reality or your experience of your reality if this is what's going on in your head day to day?

And most of us would never say this to another person.

We wouldn't walk around and say you're this or that unless you hated them.

But a lot of people have this negative self talk.

They wake up in the morning with it.

They go to sleep throughout the day.

They ate something they shouldn't have.

They didn't do a goal that they had planned on doing and they did something else.

And it's just like over and over again.

And the Bel Shemtov says something that I really love.

It's where your mind is,

Is where you are at.

It's one of my favorite teachings of unthought.

It's so simple,

Right,

But so profound and deep.

So if your mind is in a negative state,

Then you are in a negative place,

Full stop.

And I think that,

You know.

And conversely,

Right,

You could be,

It doesn't matter where you are,

If your mind is in a positive state.

As King David,

Right?

That's perhaps where he was,

I would assume.

And I think that the answer,

And again,

It sounds like,

Oh,

It's just an easy thing,

But the power of the mind,

Your ability to change what you think,

To redirect your thoughts,

That is our greatest attribute,

Actually.

Often people just don't take advantage of that.

That's our power.

That's our superpower.

That's our strength.

So if you just say,

I'm not going to speak to myself in a way that's unkind,

I'm going to be gentle with myself as I would to a child,

Perhaps,

Or somebody that I do love unconditionally.

And you just decide to treat yourself better because you know what's at stake here.

I think this is such an important point.

And again,

I don't want to gloss over it too quickly.

I think the thrust of the spiritual view on thoughts is the fact that we can control them.

First,

That it's really important that we come to control them,

And second,

That we can actually control them.

But third,

The only way that we can do that is through practice.

Right?

So somebody just heard you say that you have this,

And I'm sure there are those of our listeners who do this,

Who have this internal dialogue of negative thoughts about themselves.

And you just said,

You have to stop that.

But I believe,

And this is true,

And I found this in different ways,

That that will only happen if you actively and seriously begin to practice different thought patterns.

Because while it's true that I believe,

We believe,

That you can change your thoughts about yourself and the way you speak to yourself internally,

That necessarily needs practice.

And that's the only way it's going to change.

Again- Yes,

But it starts with a choice,

Right?

You have to decide first.

That's step one.

And again,

Some of our listeners might not even accept that or have thought that they can control.

No.

And by the way,

Some of these negative thoughts started in your childhood when your parents said,

You're lazy or you're fat or whatever it is.

Right?

Some people do have parents who did their best,

But that was their own narrative.

Right?

So often,

The voice in our head is the one that we heard growing up.

And then somehow now we've accepted that it's our own and we go on.

The other thing I think people do very often,

You might recognize a negative thought,

But who keeps it alive?

How much time do you give it?

How much space?

And I often say we have,

It's like our mind,

Our brain is a house and we decide how much rent we give to our thoughts.

Are you going to let it stay a month?

But if there's a leak and you're not happy with the tenant,

Why are you allowing these tenants to occupy space that isn't really serving you?

Absolutely.

And again,

Especially since hopefully what is clear to us now that our thoughts influence and certainly our experience,

But we believe even further influence what comes into our lives and therefore it is of utmost importance that we change negative thought patterns.

So knowing that,

Knowing that it's actually something we can do and then how do you do it?

Well,

I'm going to give you,

I have a few ideas and maybe you do too,

But I do want to give you an example.

I had a friend,

They have a friend who for years she considered herself lazy and she would judge herself.

I mean so much and she'd compare herself to other people who would wake up first thing in the morning and they'd go for a run and they'd have all this energy and they'd do all the things they said they were going to do in the day.

And she just would compare herself and feel that she just didn't measure up.

And then finally she went to the right doctor who said that she sleeps so much and she has these other issues because she actually has a physical diagnosis that really makes it harder for her.

Like she can sleep for 16 hours and that's what she needs.

And then she looked at her life and she said,

Wow,

With all the things that were stacked against me,

I've actually achieved so much.

And when she changed that lens and she stopped judging herself,

First of all,

She was much happier,

Right?

But she was also more productive because her thoughts changed from negative to positive.

And they have another friend who… And by the way,

If I can just say,

I know who you're talking about but I don't know her process and correct me if I'm wrong,

My guess would be that that didn't change in a day.

It probably took her time to really reinforce that positive internal dialogue.

And then over time with that practice,

Then she appreciated.

Absolutely.

And I had another friend who told me the story and he went to a night clubby single and he was having a great night,

Positive thoughts,

Feeling like I'm going to meet somebody,

I'm attractive,

I'm really feeling great.

Went to the bathroom,

Washed his hands and then he walked out of the bathroom with the most negative thoughts about himself.

You're old,

Nobody's going to date you.

What are you doing here?

You're a loser.

And he's like,

I don't understand what happened.

I had the best night and then it just changed suddenly.

So I said to him,

I was like,

When you looked in the mirror,

When you washed your hands,

Can you catch the thought that you had?

And he looked in the mirror and that's what happened.

He was looking like what?

And suddenly all of the things that he felt,

He looked at himself,

Judged what he saw so harshly,

So severely.

He left that night.

And by the way,

He's still single years later because he's struggling with changing this thought pattern.

Right.

And I just want to go back and underline what we said earlier,

Practice,

Practice,

Practice.

You have to start this positive internal dialogue,

Know that you have the ability to change how you think about yourself and really practice it.

But if I can,

You just reminded me of one of my more favorite quotes around thoughts and I think it's really important.

And I do strongly recommend this book,

Thinking Fast and Slow.

He's a Nobel Prize winner,

Daniel Kahneman.

I strongly recommend reading this book about the mind and how we think.

But he says the following,

Most impressions and thoughts arise in your conscious experience without your knowing how they got there.

You cannot trace how you came to the belief that there is a lamp on the desk in front of you or how you detected a hint of irritation in your spouse's voice on the telephone or how you managed to avoid a threat on the road before you became consciously aware of it.

The mental work that produces impressions,

Intuitions,

And many decisions goes on in silence in our mind,

Which I think is so powerful because either consciously or egotistically,

We like to think that I am in control of all the thoughts and sub thoughts.

The reality is that so much is going on in our brain unless we either catch it and also train.

It's like a dog,

Right?

That you have to train to be thinking in the positive way,

To be thinking about yourself in the positive way.

And I think that story that you just shared is so powerfully connected to this because again,

He,

Until you brought it to his attention,

Had no idea what happened.

Suddenly he was feeling bad about himself.

And he was down for days because he didn't know.

It was like he almost felt like something,

There was a hex on him.

I think that people underestimate the influence of,

Think about your day to day,

Right?

How many exchanges did you have?

How many people did you bump into in the street when you were walking or meetings you had or maybe somebody looked at you a certain way or you got information you didn't necessarily want but it came to you.

And then that of course is going to affect what you think,

Especially if you hear something negative,

Let's say about yourself.

And even if you don't believe it,

You have to actually choose to say,

Okay,

I recognize that this doesn't feel right.

I also recognize that this is information I'm happy to have.

And I also accept that I don't accept this,

Right?

And you can choose,

But you have to be able to have,

First of all,

That awareness,

That all of this energy,

All of these thoughts,

Judgments,

Ideas,

People,

Places,

Things are coming at you every day.

Did you watch the news today?

What information is being given to you every single day at such a fast speed?

And unless you stop and you pause and say,

Okay,

I'm going to actually select what I'm going to allow to influence me and how I choose to think about it,

Then it's not really your life I guess.

Right,

And I think maybe this is a good point to share some,

I would say positive news about our mind.

And that is,

And I think it's important that we know this,

Our mind,

Our thought process,

Our true thought process is a very positive one.

Left to our own devices,

Our mind,

Our consciousness in its natural state is one of the things positive about ourselves,

About others,

About what is happening to us,

About the world.

But we have polluted our mind.

And I think it's important to really view it in that way.

It's not that there's something wrong with my mind,

There's something wrong with the way I think,

But that unfortunately both because of choices of thoughts that we've had up until now of parents sometimes or others who have spoken to us and their thoughts have entered into our mind,

Sometimes because of environmental thoughts,

Our mind is polluted,

But not wrong,

Not bad in any way.

And I think it's so important to know that we come from that starting point.

So as every one of our listeners- If you've had a car,

Right?

And you actually don't take it in to be serviced and change the oil and check the air in the tires and make sure it's running smoothly.

And more than that,

You add big tires and you change the balance of the car,

Right?

These are all things- And more than that,

You allow people to throw a bun on it all the time and throw rocks at it.

And you never get it washed and there's dents and scratches and all of this.

So then you understand that now it didn't start that way and it certainly doesn't need to.

.

.

You can fix it,

Right?

But you've got to go check,

Check it in,

Check the oil,

Check,

Make sure everything's operating as it should.

And I think that far too often we don't do this.

I mean,

I think to some extent as humans,

We do it with our bodies,

Right?

We understand that that.

.

.

Well,

Because if a person gets toothache or something,

Their hair turns gray,

There's very visible- That's what's wrong with it.

Is it visible indications of change or digression,

Let's say,

Right?

Not so much with the mind.

Right,

Right.

And that's why I think,

Again,

I really want to sort of pour in this positivity into this conversation.

You and I,

As we're sitting here,

Every one of our listeners has the most beautiful,

Powerful,

Clear mind,

Right?

But over the years,

From the moment we're born by things that we have experienced consciously and unconsciously,

One of the things we spoke about when we spoke about parenting is that,

And we mentioned Dr.

Winnicott,

That so much of what a baby goes through,

His experience with his mother in those early days and months and years influences how they think.

So every one of us has been changed in some ways,

Polluted by either experiences,

Others' thoughts about us,

Maybe sometimes our own negative thoughts about ourselves.

And the mind therefore is really,

I would say,

A polluted place.

And part of the process has to be first accepting that my mind is a powerful,

Clear,

Clean place,

But I have to go through the process of cleaning it.

And part of it,

Like you said before,

Is stopping any further pollution from others or from myself.

But unless you start there,

If any one of our listeners really thinks that my mind is a problem or I'm in a negative loop,

All of that is just stuff that's been piled on,

What is beautiful,

Powerful,

And life-changing,

The mind that each one of us has.

And I think that's where we have to begin this process of then stopping any further pollution and stopping any further negative thoughts to know where we began and even where we are now,

All there is is some layers upon it and maybe some pollution in there.

But at its core,

Our mind,

Our consciousness,

Our thoughts are beautiful and powerful.

And by the way,

If your negative thoughts are shaping your day in the way that you don't desire,

You can restart your day at any time and you can choose the thoughts.

So for instance,

And I hear this a lot from parents,

They feel guilty about being or fear,

They feel guilty about not being with their children,

Let's say,

Enough,

Or they fear that they're a bad parent.

But an easy way to kind of remedy that is set aside extra 15 minutes a day,

No phone,

No distractions where you sit with your child and you actually ask them questions,

You hear from them,

You're really present and available.

That's going to change.

If you do that every single day,

That belief that you're not a good enough parent,

I think would actually change.

That's of course,

If you're not doing anything too damaging day to day.

But if I could say something,

So that you just gave something practical that they can do.

But I also think that it's important to also have the internal dialogue where they actually are truthful with themselves.

And they say,

Listen,

I'm a working mother,

Let's say,

If that's the case,

I'm providing home,

Food,

Love for my children.

It's maybe in a given week,

I would like to have another hour or two and you're suggesting an additional 15 minutes.

But don't let that thought,

I'm not a good parent,

I'm a bad parent,

To marinate in your mind,

Kick it out.

I think that's part of this is not just about what you're suggesting somebody do practically.

I think it's so important to become aware about the negative thoughts and stop them,

Literally stop them and argue them out.

So in this case,

Next time you have a thought of I'm not a good enough parent,

Stop see what's that's not true.

That's not true.

If you listen to our podcast and parenting,

You would say I'm at least a good enough parent,

But I'm loving,

I'm caring,

I have a full time job and I'm providing.

I would maybe like to have an additional hour or two,

Whatever that is,

But I'm a good parent.

But see,

I think it's a marriage of both.

I think that first you need to have that conversation with yourself,

Right?

To get the facts from fiction,

Right?

What is really true here and what is it that I'm feeling,

Right?

Now,

The truth is I'm a good enough parent.

Let's say that that's where they arrive to after that conversation they have with themselves.

The second part of that is,

But if you feel like you want to give more time,

Whatever your lack is,

Then no one's stopping you from do that.

Because what I've learned in my,

For me with negative thoughts is that I will have that dialogue,

But I always feel so much better when I take an action step to creating more of the reality I want.

So I'm going to give you another example because I hear this a lot from women and even from some men,

Right?

This judging our bodies,

Right?

Especially with social media,

Things are,

You can change anything,

Right?

To look a certain way.

So this self-talk of I'm fat has never made anybody thinner,

Right?

But a lot of people have this conversation in their heads all the time.

And then the self-judgements just perpetuate.

And I like something that Martha Beck said.

And she said that,

And it encourages people to think differently.

Her line is,

I am fingernails.

Do you have any idea where I'm going to go with that?

Right,

Right.

Already you're intrigued,

Right,

Michael?

Intrigued,

Yes.

No,

It's actually just raising an association of something completely different,

But okay.

Intrigued too.

So for instance,

If a person has a little extra body weight,

Let's say,

Right?

So yeah,

I didn't say that you said that.

So yeah,

That means that you have fat,

Right?

But that doesn't mean that you are fat.

So the same thing like a person has fingernails,

But they aren't fingernails.

So next time a person says,

Okay,

I'm feeling I am fat.

No,

You say it's just like saying I am fingernails.

So you just are silly about your approach and you just challenge that thought to be absolutely ridiculous and not giving it energy.

I think that our minds are very powerful and in the process of training them to think in a different way,

These little tools I think really help.

And if I.

.

.

One of the.

.

.

So go ahead,

Say I am fingernails.

I am fingernails.

And I don't have to lose any weight.

I never said you did.

I'll remind my whole family about that.

But okay,

I think one of the tools,

Because one of the questions,

I forget where it was,

I think it was either on Facebook or Twitter.

Oh,

Here it is from Jan.

He asked,

What are cabalistic tools that we can use to stop having negative thoughts?

So a thought that I use,

A thought practice that I often use and it's related to what we were speaking about earlier.

When things are happening in life and you're going through different experiences and objectively they might be challenging,

Objectively they might be difficult,

The thought that you want to have is this is coming from the creator.

The negative thought?

No,

No,

No.

It's the reality.

Let's say.

.

.

Okay,

A challenge.

A challenge.

Something I use as.

.

.

Something unwarranted.

Somebody just yelled at you at the supermarket.

Right?

So something just happened.

And the practice of the mind should be,

This is coming from the creator,

This is for my benefit.

Now,

Whether I see it in the moment or whether I don't,

It doesn't matter,

But I grow that certainty,

That clarity in my mind,

That everything that is happening to me is coming from,

You can call it the creator,

You can call it the universe,

And it's coming from my ultimate benefit,

Whether I see in the moment right now how it's benefiting me or not.

And when I talked earlier about practice,

This is what I mean.

Imagine,

And I ask all of our listeners,

Everything that starts happening to you.

And usually it's easier to practice in the smaller things than in the greater things.

But I know that this has worked for me and I don't want to guarantee,

But I'm telling every one of our listeners that if you start this practice,

You will see the difference in your.

.

.

Certainly in your experience of life.

That take today,

Take tomorrow,

And absolutely everything that happens to you that you didn't want to happen,

Hopefully the smaller things.

And every time it happens.

.

.

Like the soup was bad at the restaurant.

Exactly.

The soup was bad at the restaurant.

The waiters being nasty to me,

Any and all small slights that happened to me in my life.

This is coming from the creator,

It's for my benefit.

Say that not once,

Say that not twice,

Say it five times for every time that it happens.

And you will find as you do this practice that your experience of life changes.

If you remind yourself 10 times a day,

This is happening to me,

That's happening to me.

I can't see it with clarity now how it's for my benefit,

But I know it's coming from the creator,

It's for my benefit.

I know it's coming from the creator,

It's for my benefit.

You will find in life that you're.

.

.

I'm telling you this from my own experience,

That people will look at you like,

How is this possible that you're going through this or you're going through that,

Or this just happened and you're smiling because you've practiced and now you are in a place where it comes much more naturally for you to receive what happens in life in a positive way.

And I think,

Again,

I can tell you for myself,

This is probably one of the most powerful tools that I've used over the years and I still continue to use it.

And again,

Like I said,

It's not about then saying,

Oh,

This is why it's for my benefit,

But it brings your mind to a completely different place where you can enjoy things that others find disappointing or upsetting.

You're just training your brain really to go to the positive instead of the negative and each perhaps disappointment becomes your why.

Right.

And not because you see it in the moment with clarity,

But because you've seen it in your life,

Which I think is another part of this.

And you trust the process.

Right.

I mean,

I remember a few times in our lives when something happened and in the moment it would seem to be something very negative or something that is very challenging.

And it doesn't mean that when you're spiritually evolved and you've trained your mind in a second you could see the worst thing as the most as a positive thing,

But you will notice,

And this I think is a very important measure of our evolution as a spiritual being,

That what would have upset me last year or five years ago either doesn't upset me at all now or upsets me a lot less.

And I think.

No,

I'm thinking that,

You know,

Once because once a person has a thought,

It's really hard to change it at that point.

And this enters the idea of pre-thoughts.

Right.

Pre-thoughts,

It's called the hir-hur,

Is that correct?

It talks about this,

That before you have an actual thought,

There's a hundred pre-thoughts.

I'm going to get an example of that because what you're saying is I think a person who walks through life and they get upset about the soup or the long line or this and that,

There were a hundred pre-thoughts that got to this state of being,

The state of thinking.

And now they perceive life or their experience of life as having to be hard or one of suffering or negative.

Right.

That wasn't a thought that they weren't always like that.

You look at children,

They think that every day is going to be amazing.

Right.

They can't wait to discover something new and they're curious about it.

I wonder what this day is going to bring.

So I think that when we have a hundred pre-thoughts that we're not paying attention to,

Then by the time it becomes thought,

It's harder.

So I want to talk about pre-thoughts for a second.

So there's,

I'll give you an example.

And this relates to what we talked about earlier about the polluted mind.

Yes.

And this is how it becomes polluted.

So let's say for example,

And again,

I go back to wait a lot because I just,

I talked to a lot of people and they share their personal experiences with me.

They might say to themselves,

I don't like the way my pants fit.

And they might say that every day,

Every day,

I like the way the skirt fits.

And then that,

Those pre-thoughts,

You have a hundred of those.

So then you're going to arrive to,

I am fat.

Right.

Or let's talk about somebody,

Because we have a bunch of fleeting thoughts throughout our day.

And then this person has fleeting thoughts of,

He's attracted to other women,

Right?

It's just a thought,

No harm.

He's not acting on it.

Just a thought.

And then eventually he has a bunch of those pre-thoughts.

And then his next thought is he's going to flirt,

Right?

He's flirting,

No harm,

Just a little flirtation.

Then that leads to actually not thinking that's a big deal either.

Right.

And then they act on it.

Why are you smiling?

Because I just remembered those of you who watch Friends,

There was an episode that Ross tries to flirt and he's terrible,

Terrible at it.

So those of you who remember this,

You could have a little chuckle right now,

But yeah,

Keep going.

So I don't know,

You totally went off topic,

But okay,

We love Friends.

By the way,

If you haven't seen that episode,

I strongly recommend it.

So eventually that thought will manifest in behavior and action.

Right.

And it actually becomes a thought that this is okay.

And who knows what that,

Well,

We can imagine where that's going to go.

So and it will open a bunch of other,

The door to other fleeting thoughts.

And before you know it,

One thing leads to the other.

So the problem is with negative pre-thoughts,

They have an insidious way of becoming now the way we think.

And then at that point,

It's much harder to change it.

We have negative thoughts,

Right?

Like I messed that up or I hate that person or I never get what I want or I'm so ashamed.

Again,

If you have these thoughts,

You will be upset about soup and you will be upset about somebody yelling at you at a grocery store.

Or if you have thoughts related to victimhood,

Like how could she do that to me?

Why is this happening?

I don't deserve this.

Or even judgmental thoughts.

Her house is a pigsty.

He loves the sound of his own voice.

These are the negative thoughts that I'm talking about,

What we're talking about,

Because it's not just the bigger things of life.

It's these pre-thoughts every single day,

Day in,

Day out.

And then eventually it becomes how you think and then it becomes how you see the world and then how you experience it.

Absolutely.

And I think again,

And this goes back to what we were saying before,

Which I think needs to be really underlined,

That we need to treat our mind like the most important.

.

.

Like a shrine,

Like a holy temple,

Really.

Exactly.

Which again,

None of us do enough.

Many of us don't do it all because again,

We don't see the weight of the pollution of our mind.

We sometimes might even not think that it exists.

But like you're saying,

Every single one of those thoughts creates pollution in our mind.

And then like you said,

Our experience becomes more and more negative because we start seeing more and more negative because our mind is so polluted with so many of these thoughts.

That's our vision out to the world.

Absolutely.

I also want to talk about how we take back our power because that's really what we're talking about.

In our mind.

In our mind.

Well,

Everything is,

It starts with the mind,

Right?

So one step,

Because I'm all about steps,

Is again,

These hundred pre-thoughts create one dominant thought.

So I think often when you try not to think about something,

Right?

You think like the bears,

Right?

So instead of pushing our negative thoughts away,

Acknowledge them because you can't combat negativity by ignoring it.

Just like you can't make a room light by imagining it's light.

You actually need to take an action step,

But first is to acknowledge them rather than push them away because pushing things away actually requires energy to fight something.

The second is to think,

And we talked about positive thoughts,

But also,

And I love this story.

I don't know if you're familiar with,

I mean,

Everybody knows Jim Carrey,

But he was on Oprah years ago and he was talking about when he was really struggling.

He wanted to be an actor.

He had no money,

No success.

And instead of thinking about how old he was and how he had no money and he was a starving actor and nothing was going his way,

He actually kept dreaming about being an actor,

Didn't allow the negativity to take over.

And he took it one step further and he wrote himself a check because every day he did visualization exercises of actually being a working actor.

So one day he took a step further.

He wrote a check to himself made out for $10 million to him for services rendered.

And it was dated for three years to the date,

Which would have been Thanksgiving three years later.

And he carried this check around in his wallet every single day to remind him,

Right?

He kept seeing it and wanting it and desiring it.

And he believed that it should happen,

Right?

Thanksgiving rolled around three years later.

He started thinking about this and he gets a call that he was going to be paid $10 million for acting in Dumb and Dumber.

So I love that story because I think that again,

He directed his thoughts.

His thoughts could have gone anywhere,

Right?

What are the facts?

The facts are he's an actor,

He's not getting any work and maybe he should do something else.

Imagine if he had allowed the negativity to direct where he went.

And it's actually one of my favorite teachings around thoughts is something that,

Again,

I use all the time and it relates again to some of the questions that we mentioned before about the negative thoughts.

Can I accomplish?

Can I manifest?

And it's a little bit detailed but I think it's important enough to go through.

So Ravash Sala,

A very great Kabbalist,

The founder of the Kabbalah Center,

Wrote about this concept and he called it contact with the creator.

And he says that every single one of us has the opportunity to be in constant contact just by having this thought with the light of the creator,

Which means that the force that created all that is,

The force that created every single human being that ever existed,

I am in contact with that force.

And what that means,

If I really believe that,

If I really have that thought,

Then of course there's nothing that I cannot do.

Of course there's nothing that I cannot manifest because it's not just me,

Whatever this is,

But the entire force of creation is behind me.

And he calls this concept contact with the light of the creator.

So next time you have a thought,

Can I possibly do this?

Do I have the wisdom,

The strength,

The wherewithal to accomplish whatever it is that you're desiring to accomplish?

Remind yourself it's not just you.

It's you and the light of the creator or you and the entire creative force that brought this world into being that is connected to you.

If you have that consciousness,

Then of course there's nothing that you can't do.

Of course there's nothing that you can't manifest.

Which reminds me of a joke which isn't that funny,

But it's very apropos of this teaching about a little mouse that was sitting on the back of an elephant and he's running through the desert and this huge plume of smoke that rises behind him.

And the mouse turns to the elephant and says,

Look at all the dust we're kicking up.

Which obviously again,

Not a very funny joke,

But very apropos to this teaching.

Of course the elephant is doing the majority of the kicking up of the dust,

But the point being that the little mouse was with the elephant and Srivastava says the same thing about us.

We have to remind ourselves every single day,

I am in constant contact with the creator.

I am in constant contact with the force that brought this whole world into being.

Of course there's nothing that we together cannot accomplish.

And he uses the example,

He says the only difference between those who live their lives with this and those who do not is that when you're aware of this,

You are actually able to draw that power.

And he uses the example of a person who has the winning lottery ticket in his pocket.

Besides that he has nothing and he's not even aware of the fact that he has the winning lottery ticket in his pocket.

So he goes around life and he goes around this day thinking I have nothing,

I am poor,

I don't know what I'm going to eat.

And somebody walks over to him and says,

You know,

By the way,

You might not remember this,

But last week you bought a lottery ticket and I think it's the winning lottery ticket.

Why don't you go into your coat pocket and take it out?

And he takes it out and he realizes that he is a multimillionaire.

What changed,

Ravashalak says,

From the moment before that he realized or was made known that he had the winning lottery ticket to the moment after?

Nothing changed.

The reality is that he had that winning lottery ticket which was worth millions of dollars in his pocket while he thought he was the poorest man in the world and when he became known of it.

So nothing objectively changed except his knowledge of it.

Go to,

Ravashalak says,

My knowledge,

Your knowledge,

Our listeners' knowledge of the fact that I am in constant contact with the creative force of this world and therefore as I begin my day and as I go through my life to accomplish,

To do,

To manifest,

It isn't just me.

It is me and the creative force of this world.

Of course there's nothing that we can't do together.

But only if you're living this consciousness will you have that power.

And that's why,

Again,

I think one of the most important thoughts for us to begin every single day and to go throughout our lives in our day when you're feeling a little bit overwhelmed,

When things aren't exactly going as you want them to go,

Stop and think,

What second?

Maybe on my own I can't get through this.

Maybe on my own I can't manifest this.

But I am not on my own.

I have constant contact with the totality,

The force that created this world.

There's nothing that we together cannot accomplish.

A thousand percent with that,

Let's go seize the day.

So with that powerful idea.

And if I could just say in relation to everything we've said until now and certainly even related to this thought,

You have to practice it.

Practice,

Practice,

Practice.

Hearing this now and being inspired,

Even if any of our listeners were,

And then starting tomorrow with something else will not really accomplish,

Will not allow us to accomplish this shift in thought and consciousness.

You have to be practicing this consciousness and everything else we spoke about until now every single day.

And then your mind changes and then your thought patterns change.

Then both your experience of life and what you can manifest completely changes.

Like anything,

It's a muscle.

Everything takes effort and practice until it becomes,

It feels effortless.

You stop to still wake up every day and choose that.

We live scripts that we think are created for us,

But actually we are the screenwriters.

We get to write our narrative.

It's not imposed upon us.

And this is good news because it means we can rewrite it any time.

And as such,

This is the responsibility we need to take,

Rewriting our scripts through shifting our consciousness.

Thoughts are just thoughts and while they're powerful,

They can be changed.

As the Rav always said,

Consciousness is everything.

Therefore our thoughts dictate what is.

The way you think about your life and yourself is ultimately what you manifest.

Thoughts are powerful.

I mean,

That's it,

That's everything,

Right?

Yes.

And I hope that in some of what we've shared today,

Our listeners get the inspiration and some knowledge and some tools to be able to not only change thought patterns,

But create more positive ones.

Ones that can really shift their lives and not just their experience of life,

But also what actually happens in their lives and what they're able to manifest.

Because again,

There is nothing,

As the Valshamtva said,

There is nothing that influences both our experience in life and our life and what manifests in it as much as our thoughts.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

Do you have a letter you want to share?

I do,

Yes.

So again,

I want to thank all of our listeners who share questions,

Stories,

Either through Facebook,

Instagram,

Also by sending it to Monica and Michael at Kabbalah.

Com.

It really continues to inspire us and really because we do this and we enjoy spending this time with each other,

But knowing that this is going on into the world and that it actually has a positive influence is what keeps us inspired and desiring to share more and more.

So it's a little bit of a long letter,

But it really,

I think,

Beautiful and powerful and inspiring for Monica and I and hopefully for our listeners.

Dear Monica and Michael,

Nine months ago,

I didn't want to live.

I never thought of hurting myself.

It was more a desire to fall asleep and never waking up again,

But I wanted everything to change or stop.

And at that point,

I felt like I had no power to create that change or make it stop and not existing sounded like a great way to escape or run away from a horrible situation.

I bought Monica's book online and signed up for the book presentation in London.

I got two tickets because I was hoping my husband would come with me and that would be the thing in quotes that would ignite the change I was craving so badly.

Then COVID happened and my husband left and everything changed.

I was fortunate enough to get my book.

I came back home and send Monica a message.

You replied with the kindest words,

But there was one sentence that changed my life.

You got this.

I didn't think I read this letter yet.

This is so nice.

Here Monica created the online workshop for the book as an alternative.

And I of course signed up and I was able to have a short but meaningful one-on-one interaction with her.

I don't know if you're aware of the enormous impact you create every time you speak or send a short message or share your thoughts and knowledge during your podcasts,

But I wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for in a way and among other things and people saving my life.

Thank you for making me feel I am not alone and that somehow you are there holding my hand during this process.

You too were the first people who made me feel it was okay to be me and that what I did does not define me.

You made me feel loved and accepted and I just feel like I will never be able to find the words to express my gratitude.

I decided to take this as an advanced payment from the bank and quotes and I had the rest of my life to earn it.

I am working on that.

I would say the hardest thing in life is to forgive ourselves.

Nine months ago I hated myself and felt worthless and meaningless.

You helped me change and believe that I am now on the right path and for the first time in my life I am 100% certain that this is what I want to do.

I have big dreams now and a great desire to accomplish them knowing that some will be hard and challenging to get.

I don't have any attachments and will welcome whatever happens to me,

But I do have those great intentions and will do my best to get there.

All my love and my eternal gratitude to you both.

So nice.

Thank you.

So first of all thank you.

One of the things that is often difficult for all of us is to be vulnerable and open,

But please do continue to send your stories,

Sharing your stories with us so that we can share them with our listeners.

Your questions and comments is what inspires us to continue not only to do these podcasts and everything else that we do,

But also to make sure that more and more people have access to this wisdom and to this podcast.

So please continue to send your questions,

Your stories to monicaandmichaelatcabala.

Com.

One of the things we're going to be doing from now on is before we record a podcast,

We'll be posting to Facebook and Instagram what the topic is going to be so you can send us your questions in advance and we can of course address them throughout.

But I really cannot overstate how inspired and important your questions,

Comments and stories are to us.

So thank you for listening.

Thank you for sharing this podcast with so many of your friends and family.

Thank you to all of our listeners.

And as I always say,

I hope you enjoyed this podcast as much as we enjoyed recording it.

Bye.

Reviews

Thank you 🙏 I really enjoyed this reminder that consciousness is everything & the power of & in our thoughts 🙏💖🙏💖

Fantastic Thank You! :- )

Wonderful, thank you!

Love the way you both clarify with each other throughout the lesson, then summarize.