37. Spiritual Focus: Taking Your Soul’s Work Seriously

In this episode of Spiritually Hungry, Monica and Michael explore how growing our self-awareness feeds our soul and fills our life with joy and purpose. Listen as they discuss the myriad benefits of injecting consciousness into everything we do, thereby developing the traits we want while letting go of those that don’t serve us.

Transcript

The spiritual journey was actually never a destination.

It's a forever ongoing process of learning and discovery.

As I said earlier,

The process is the purpose.

We understand that there are responsibilities we all have.

People need to work nine to five.

You know,

They need to get food on the table,

All of those things.

However,

You can still provide for your family while constantly checking in with yourself that you're living the life you're meant to live.

When we come into this world,

And this is an important concept,

We are veiled.

Our life's purpose is to remove those veils and become every day more and more able to see for ourselves and to reveal to the world who we are.

And unless,

Unless we are actively developing ourselves,

That won't happen.

So I think that in order to appreciate all you have,

It does require coming back to the present and really being.

Welcome to the Spiritually Hungry podcast episode 37.

Wow.

37.

Can I do that every time?

No,

I said,

Yay.

Usually I usually say yay.

No,

I said,

Wow.

Wow.

Okay.

So I'm always really excited about tonight's content.

So I have this idea.

It's kind of a good one.

But what if we ran our lives like little successful businesses?

If we created,

Which I've done,

A mission statement to live our lives by,

Each person having their own unique mission statement that we can refer to back in times of uncertainty.

To help keep things on track in the face of adversity and upset,

A model for clarity and a source of providing us insight into our aspirations and the life we intend to live.

So I know we're going to go much deeper in this,

But I want to start at this place of this idea of a mission statement.

So I looked up a few of ones from successful businesses and companies,

And I think these were pretty powerful for successful companies.

So Microsoft,

Their mission statement is,

We work to help people and businesses through the world realize their full potential.

Nike,

To bring inspiration and innovation to every athlete in the world.

Facebook,

Give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected.

Google,

Organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful.

Ford,

We are a global family with a proud heritage passionately committed to providing personal mobility for people around the world.

So what do you think about these mission statements?

Relatively inspiring.

And they also exemplify each company's undertaking in the world,

Right?

And what they have committed to.

So a mission statement basically is a sentence or a paragraph and it reflects your core belief,

Your purpose,

Your identity,

Your values,

And your principal aspirations.

So it needs to be powerful and compelling,

But above all,

It needs to inspire confidence and certainty at every turn.

And I do think it's important because what we want to talk about today is the soul and the soul's potential and our purpose for really being.

And I think that if you don't actually take the time perhaps,

I mean,

Of course it's going to take investment and action time and time again,

But I think starting actually at a mission statement,

Who are you?

What do you believe?

What's important?

Where are your values?

What is your mission?

I think that that will help you be really clear on if you're spending time on important things in life or if you're not.

So my mission statement came from four core ideas that I have.

It's this.

I have the power to restart my day at any time.

When I focus my energy on helping others,

I find clarity and purpose in my life.

In life,

The process is always the purpose and it should be filled with love,

Levity and laughter.

I should not be afraid to deviate from the planned route because in change there is great power.

So there's also a quote that I really like that I want to share and then you'll have a turn to speak,

But it's by Oscar Wilde and he said,

To live is the rarest thing in the world.

Most people exist.

That's all.

And I think that kind of sets us up for where we want to go today.

Yeah,

As a complete aside,

When I was exercising today,

I watched a documentary on winemaking.

Complete aside.

Yes.

And no,

Because you mentioned Oscar Wilde,

So that's an apparently- Don't you love how the brain works?

Yes.

And apparently Oscar Wilde was in jail once.

I'm not sure how or why that happened.

And he wrote a letter to this famous French champagne company and he said,

Being in jail is not so bad,

It's just that there's no champagne here.

It's just,

It has nothing to do with the- So the documentary actually didn't give you information as to how he ended up in jail?

No,

No,

No.

It was about winemaking.

Yeah,

But hello,

Fun fact.

Now I'm going to Google that.

Yes.

So I hope it's a true story.

So I want to go back to before I share a few things,

I want to go back to what you said,

Right?

That idea,

Because I don't want to gloss over it.

I think it's so important.

And that is that,

And it's funny we were having this conversation yesterday,

But people that we know that are very successful in many areas of their lives,

Especially in business,

But they wind up often not being that successful in their personal lives.

More importantly,

Not being successful in developing themselves as a human being.

And that uniqueness is something that I think is really the core of what we're talking about now and hopefully awakening within our listeners.

What irritates me,

By the way,

Of that narrative is because people often,

What they say so they don't actually have to figure out a solution or do the work is that,

Oh,

You can't be good at everything.

You can't be lucky at everything.

If I'm successful in business,

So then other parts of my life are going to be a little bit less successful,

Which is untrue.

It doesn't have to be the reality.

Well,

It is true.

Okay,

True.

I understand that argument,

But,

And this is the key point that what we're talking about is who you are and who you will become.

And unless we frame it for ourselves in that way,

We will go through life being successful in certain areas,

But not usually enough development of ourselves.

And not in the most important areas,

I would argue.

Also true,

Especially since this is the most important thing.

Yes,

There are people who have beautiful families and people who create great businesses and people who are very wise and share that wisdom in the world.

It isn't always attached to the personal unique development of that individual.

And what we're saying and hopefully everything we're going to share today will inspire towards this question.

Like you said to our listeners,

Do you have a mission statement for yourself?

So whether you're,

Again,

20 years old,

50 year old,

70 year old,

Do you have the person you want to be?

What are the areas that you want to develop in?

Is that clear to you?

Because I think for so many of us,

It might be,

Yeah,

I have a goal.

I want to get married.

I have a goal.

I want to build a successful business.

I want to make enough money to support my family.

Nothing that I said is not important,

But the most important one is,

First of all,

Understanding who I am today and how do I want to develop myself.

And unless that is a constant and clear focus,

We will go through life being successful at certain things,

Failing at others,

But not paying enough attention to the most important purpose of life.

Well,

What's interesting about goals is that they have a point that you want to get to.

And then when you get there,

You're on to the next goal.

And that is problematic because for instance,

If your goal is to get married,

Well,

What do you want your marriage to look like?

How do you want it to evolve over the years?

It can't just be like a destination because a spiritual journey,

There's actually never a destination.

It's a forever ongoing process of learning and discovery.

As I said earlier,

The process is the purpose.

So what we're talking about,

And I don't like to use the word spirituality because I think it's misunderstood very often.

It's used overused,

I would say.

But I would like to talk about development of the soul because if we really approached our life and our growth on that aspect of us,

That's everything,

And we really looked at it as you would plan a business,

You would never say,

I want to create this business.

I have no idea where I'm going to be in five or 10 years from now.

I'm not really sure what my core values,

Beliefs are and what we stand for,

But I'm just going to go and put a lot of money,

Time and energy there and we'll see what happens.

We'll see where the chips fall.

You would never approach the business that way.

You perhaps wouldn't even approach having children or raising children that way.

What has always confused me is that when it comes to soul,

We never often,

Mostly never stop and say,

Okay,

What's my life plan for who I want to develop as a human being?

And I remember years ago,

It was actually my OBGYN who delivered all four of my children,

But I had gone,

So it's years and years ago.

I think I had had two kids by then.

Anyway,

I was there and I said,

Yeah,

He's like,

Do you have anything coming up?

I said,

I have a trip coming up.

I'm giving a talk on your potential.

He's like,

Your potential and what?

He's a doctor and he's like,

He wanted your potential and what?

As a business woman.

And I looked at him,

I said,

Your potential as a human being.

And he just really looked at me with the most confused look ever.

We talked about it a little,

But he still was having a hard time grasping it.

And in that moment I was like,

Wow,

So many people,

Intelligent people,

Driven people,

Successful people actually don't think about this most important concept of growing your soul's potential.

Right,

Exactly.

We make plans for everything except for who we're going to become.

I mean,

It's such an important idea.

And again,

I said,

I don't want to gloss over it,

Although there's a lot that I'm excited to share.

But like you said,

I really ask all of our listeners to heed what you said before.

Make a mission statement for yourself.

Really take the time,

Which would mean to look at who you are,

Who you want to be,

Who you want to become,

And how you're going to get there.

It's so important again,

Because,

And it's that phrase and something we're going to share as well,

But being,

Right?

Being,

Not doing,

Not goals,

Because you used before the example of,

As we often see,

And it's always surprising every time I knew where people spend so much time,

Effort,

And worry,

Who am I going to marry?

How am I going to get married?

They get married the next day.

How can I get divorced?

Exactly.

Why?

Because often,

Again,

Of course there's so many different reasons for different situations,

But because you often brought the same person from five years ago into this marriage,

If you haven't developed,

And by the way,

If your spouse hasn't developed the person you want to be with,

Hasn't developed and developing,

It makes it much more difficult to stay in a thriving relationship,

And certainly over time.

Do you know that the question I ask most people I meet with usually in,

Well,

It could be in the first meeting if they're really stuck,

Fifth meeting,

But this idea of being stuck,

I often ask the question,

If you continue living your life as you do,

Where do you see your life,

Your soul,

Your spirit growing in one year,

Five years,

10 years?

I never thought of that.

And for me,

It's like,

How can you actually invest in anything if you don't actually say,

Okay,

If I keep doing this action every day,

Every day,

Where will I be in 10 years?

And it could be a positive or a negative action.

One of my favorite Kabbalists,

Columnist,

Kalman Shapira,

Said it this time.

He was an inspiring Kabbalist and his work has always profoundly affected me.

He lived in the time of the Holocaust.

He was actually in concentration camps and he wrote a lot of his books while he was there and he buried them.

And he wrote a note and he said,

When you find these books,

If you find them still alive,

Send it to this address and if you find that I am not alive,

Send it to another address,

Which was like a printer.

And he did perish in the Holocaust.

But he wrote in his book called The Student's Obligation,

He posited that a child must be imbued with the vision of his potential greatness and be an active participant in his own development.

Kalman looks at the differences between the soul and the body.

The latter represents the tangible world.

You can see it,

You can feel it.

It's what's left behind when you die.

But the soul is invisible and intangible.

Emotions,

Thoughts,

And feelings are not only apparent to the soul and the starting point for coming to know it is introspection.

In Kalman's words,

Each person needs to take an honest evaluation by honest self-awareness of the intricacies of his unique soul.

Which I think really puts this whole concept in like a very clear,

I like when he says,

You know,

Children,

Because that's where we start learning.

But then I think it's even more important as we're adults.

Right.

So what I'd like to do is take a little bit of a deep dive in a minute to some of Donald Winokot's teachings on this.

We've mentioned it before.

He's really a very,

Very interesting person,

Renowned child psychologist.

But again,

I just want to underline this again,

Because if there's one thing that our listeners take away from this podcast,

It is that we all need to be spending significantly more time,

Effort,

And thought on who I am and how am I going to develop myself?

How am I going to become that even greater version of myself?

So Donald Winokot often uses the word creativity.

And what he means by that,

He's going to explain in some of it,

But it really relates to developing oneself,

Living with creativity,

Living with newness.

And so I'm going to read a little bit of what he says.

Some of it is,

I think it's self-explanatory and I find tremendously inspiring.

Hopefully our listeners will as well.

And some of it I think we should develop.

To be a creative person- You mean unpack?

Unpack,

Yes.

That's the word I was looking for.

A person must exist and have a feeling of existing,

Not in conscious awareness,

But as a basic place to operate from because that's the idea.

Because we're talking about is the awareness of the being.

It's not just that I am a father or mother doing things for my children.

I am a friend or a teacher doing things for my friends or students.

It's the act of being and a whole consciousness around both myself and what I will become or how I develop myself to become.

So being could also be understood as creating.

Yes.

Creativity is then the doing that arises out of being.

It indicates that he who is alive,

If you're not consciously being and through that creating,

Living creatively as he will explain it,

Then you're just an effect of life.

And again,

So often we are and too often we see people who are.

And this is I think is the core concept.

Else may be at rest,

But when the word doing becomes appropriate,

Then already there is creativity.

It is possible to show that in some people at certain times,

The activities that indicate that the person is alive are simply reactions to stimulus.

A whole life may be built on the pattern of reacting to stimuli.

Withdraw the stimuli and the individual has no life.

But in the extreme of such a case,

The word being has no relevance.

In order to be and to have the feeling that one is,

One must have a predominance of impulse doing over reactive doing.

And I want to talk about that because what he's saying is maybe all of us at certain times and certainly our listeners at certain times,

Unfortunately,

Maybe some people all the time are not really alive.

They're not really being.

Because what it means if when a person wakes up in the morning,

Oh my God,

My kids need breakfast.

Oh my God,

I have to prepare them for school.

Oh my God,

I have to go to work.

Isn't that more existing as Oscar Wilde said?

Well,

That's exactly the point.

And he would say the word living is really not really relevant to such a person because he or she,

They are reacting to stimulus.

That's all.

And think about it.

And again,

I ask- It's a robotic existence.

This concept has touched me deeply and especially watching my father and his digression into his state that a lot of people just exist and they wait for life to go by because they're not living anymore.

They're simply existing.

A lot of people are in pain and suffering.

And then there's other people who have always approached life in a way of,

I want to live this life.

But think about it.

And again,

This is all for me and for you and for our listeners.

Which by the way,

Terrifies me to ever.

That's why I question,

I recheck all the time.

Many people that we've met are living a life based on the stimulus,

Right?

Reactive living.

I have to go to work.

Oh my God,

I got to work nine to five.

Oh my God,

I got to go home.

People's I have responsibility.

This is what they thought I should do with my life.

And then what happens is they don't even remember what it feels like to be alive.

Exactly.

Exactly.

And again,

For me,

This is such a clear understanding of what we're talking about,

Which is that ask yourself what percentage of my day is a reaction living?

What percentage of my day is proactive living?

And by the way,

I don't want people to misunderstand us.

We understand that there are responsibilities we all have.

People need to work nine to five.

They need to get food on the table,

All of those things.

However,

You can still provide for your family while constantly checking in with yourself that you're living the life you were meant to live.

And more than that,

Actually,

And Donald Willcott gets to this,

Two people can be doing exactly the same thing,

But with a different awareness.

So one person might wake up in the morning,

Again,

Imagine this,

Right?

So you look at two parents,

Let's say.

They wake up in the morning.

One of them says,

Oh no,

I got to get my kids ready for school.

Rush,

Rush,

Rush,

Rush.

Do it.

One of them says,

I'm going to share with my kids.

The person,

Throughout everything that he or she does to prepare,

There's an awareness that,

Okay,

This is an action of sharing.

I get to spend time with my kids.

There's an excitement and newness to the action.

They work nine to five,

They work nine to eight,

But there's an awareness of it.

I'm at work.

Maybe I am kind to the people around me.

One does not simply go through and reacts to either what they know has to be done or what is happening.

But lives with much more awareness of themselves within it.

And that's what,

Interestingly,

He calls creative living.

For another example,

And he uses this example as well.

So you go to work,

Right?

So you have to get to work.

Some people today with corona,

People are working from home.

That's you got to take the bus,

You got to take the train,

You got to take your car.

While you're driving,

What are you thinking about?

You could be looking at the sky and be overwhelmed by his beauty,

Or you can be just rushing from one thing to the next.

So living creatively in his words is not,

Like you said,

I think it's very important.

It's not necessarily that I'm going to paint like Picasso now,

Right?

That's not what we're talking about,

Living creatively.

What we're saying is that living consciously,

Being aware of my being in this process,

But not simply living reactively to stimuli.

You're being in each moment,

No matter where you find yourself.

And then in addition to that,

And this I think maybe is the additional element to this,

How do I grow from this,

Right?

So I'm with my kids,

Rather than thinking about the next thing I have to do,

I'm there with my kids.

I'm listening to them,

I'm enjoying them,

I'm appreciating them.

I feel the love for them.

I feel their love for me.

I'm at work,

Rather than just doing my work,

I feel my relationship with my coworker.

I help when I can.

It's a whole different while doing the same basic important life tasks or even chores,

Doing them with creativity,

Doing them with being.

So if I can,

I would like to read a little bit more because I think this is both so fundamental and also different than the way most of us,

Most of us,

Most of the world probably goes about their life.

Creativity then is the retention throughout life of something that belongs properly to infant experience.

So he said one of Winnicott's big ideas is the fact that we come when we are born and assuming that we are parented relatively well.

Well enough.

Well enough,

If you're not parenting as he refers to it.

When you are a child,

Which I think is a beautiful concept,

Your concept is that you have no idea that the world existed before you were born.

So as far as you're concerned,

The world came into being when you came into being.

And you are omnipotent.

You want food or you need food,

Suddenly,

Oh,

This nice woman who happens to be his mother brings it to him.

So the whole first few years of life are creative in that the child gets the sense that he or she can create anything they want.

Anything they need.

Anything they need will come out.

So I just want to read this because I think it's so beautiful because the point is we lose.

By the way,

I still live life like that.

I'm not expecting people to give it to me,

But I really,

I think that that's the thing.

I mean,

I actually questioned myself this morning.

I was like,

You know,

Because I realized and I realized a while ago that everything that I want to create,

Like it's going to happen.

So this morning I'm like,

Well,

Suppose you want it.

Does it mean that it should?

And I was like,

Yeah,

My desire is to create and therefore it should happen.

I mean,

Of course you have to take the steps and the actions and the consciousness,

But yeah,

I like that.

Yeah.

So the ability to create the world.

For the baby,

This is not difficult because if the mother is able to adapt to the baby's needs,

The baby has no initial appreciation of the fact that the world was there before he or she was conceived or conceived of.

But then of course,

As we grow up,

Because then the reality principle comes in.

The fact that the existence of the world,

Whether the baby created it or not,

The reality principle is too bad,

Just too bad.

By the time the child is called upon to say ta,

Big developments have taken place and the child has acquired the mental mechanisms for coping with the insult.

For the reality principle is an insult,

Right?

So imagine,

I love the beautiful framing of this,

That each one of us,

When we were an infant,

We believed that we were creating everything.

That that bowl of food that just came,

I needed that and this nice lady or man brought it,

I created its appearance and so on and so forth.

But then at some point in our growth,

The reality principle,

Which is that,

Oh my God,

No,

I can't control food to come to me whenever I'm hungry or a caring embrace whenever I need it.

But he frames it as,

That's really an insult to us because that's not obviously the way we initially understood the world.

So given good enough environmental conditions,

The individual child who became you and me found ways of absorbing the insult,

Compliance at one extreme simplifies the relationship with others.

Of course,

They have their own needs to attend to,

Their own omnipotence to cater to.

At the other extreme,

The child retains omnipotence in the guise of being creative and having a personal view of everything.

So as we grow up,

Two opposite things can happen and most of us wind up somewhere in the middle.

We think that we can't create,

We can't really have control over our lives,

We can't have omnipotence.

No,

I don't think control and creation are the same thing.

Okay.

Meaning?

No,

You just said we can't control our lives,

We can't create things in our lives.

I think they're two separate things.

Well- We can't influence what's going to happen is what you're saying.

Or create what we want to happen.

So what happens is that we start feeling the need to be compliant with other people's needs and therefore we start diminishing ourselves in our sense of creativity,

In our sense of being able to create that which we need and that which we want.

And again,

What Winnicott stresses is that the way you want to actually develop yourself from this moment on,

Whether again,

Whether you're five years old or 40 years old or 80 years old,

Is to focus yourself on living with creativity,

Which goes back to what we're saying before,

Living and being and developing yourself.

Right.

So when we come in the world,

It's something that seems effortless.

I have a need,

I have a want,

I have a desire and boom,

Just by my thought,

My desire alone,

It's been created,

Manifested and I have it.

So now when we get older,

The impetus is on us to know that we can create the things we want,

But it requires us investing in our soul to continuously grow it.

Continue to be.

Right?

Continue to be.

And I'll just,

Again,

There's a lot to hear.

I do recommend those of you who have the time to read the original,

But I believe that there is nothing that has to be done that cannot be done creatively if the person is creative or has that capacity.

And that's what really,

I think we're calling to our listeners to say some of this is not about necessarily changing what we do,

But how we do it.

Do it with consciousness,

Do it with being,

Make sure that we are going through life in a way that we are developing ourselves,

Which I think,

And this is something we did touch upon in the previous episode,

But the understanding that my soul is unique,

That there has never been from the beginning of time till the end of time,

Another soul that has both the potential and the need to reveal my uniqueness.

So what does that mean?

It doesn't mean that I'm going to discover the next amazing vaccine,

But it does mean that as a parent,

What I can give my children,

If I develop myself in the way that I need to develop and grow and change,

They will never be able to get from anybody else.

As a friend,

What I can give to my friends is unique and cannot be given to them by anybody else.

I think this goes back to taking yourself seriously in the right ways,

Right?

Your power of influence,

Your power of creation,

And also appreciating the things that you have in life.

Because I think often,

Let's say a mother,

Of course she values her children or a father values children,

But also they feel like they should be doing an important job,

Maybe finding the next vaccine for something,

Right?

So I think that in order to appreciate all you have,

It does require coming back to the present and really being.

It's interesting you say that because for instance,

Today I was missing our youngest all day,

Like Abigail.

We were talking about in the morning and I was just yearning for her.

But usually when she comes home,

The hour she comes home,

I tend to have a lot of meetings at that time.

And she always opens my office door and she pops her head in.

And I said to myself,

And I did this yesterday too,

Because it's something I became aware of,

You've missed her all day,

But now she's coming at a time where now you're busy with something else.

And I think that's the trick of the world we live in.

So I'm making a conscious effort to stop what I'm doing.

Even if I'm on a conference call,

Pause,

Look at her in the eye and say,

I love you.

How was your day?

I'm going to be done in this amount of time.

And then we're going to do X,

Y,

Z together.

Because at the end of the day,

That is the being,

Right?

It's not just enough that you love your children or that you see them.

That's really how you express yourself in the world in all aspects.

Exactly.

And like you said,

It really all goes back to both being conscious,

Being,

And also that's such a beautiful example because you didn't really change your whole life or your whole schedule.

But what you did say is if for those 30 seconds or a minute- I woke up,

Yeah.

You're going to be there.

And back to what I said before,

What you gave her in those 30 seconds,

There's nobody else in the world who can give it to her.

And I think that's so important.

And I want to just add one more thing to that.

We are,

Each one of us,

Unique.

But when we come into this world,

And this is an important concept,

We are veiled.

Our life's purpose is to remove those veils and become every day more and more able to see for ourselves and to reveal to the world who we are.

And unless,

Unless we are actively developing ourselves,

That won't happen.

Meaning we will not be able to reveal for ourselves and for others our uniqueness.

We can be good parents,

We could be good friends,

We could be good teachers,

But without constant development and focus on that development,

That beautiful,

Special,

Unique being that I am will not be able to become manifest and revealed,

Neither to myself nor to the world.

What I think is so interesting about this too is I think when people think about spirituality,

It's not usually this idea of really developing their soul by really being present,

By being certain that they can create,

By taking themselves seriously in the right ways.

They tend to think that if I'm a person that's giving or charitable,

Then I'm a better person than I was and therefore I'm going to be happier.

But if a person even takes his time and shares with people all day long,

But it's not coming from purity of heart,

Which is being,

That is your essence.

Then you'll do a lot of good deeds,

But you won't necessarily elevate and grow your soul.

And develop yourself.

It's interesting.

I actually made a note for myself as I was thinking about this.

I've met a lot of really good people and they do and did many positive actions,

Shared with people,

Gave to people,

But developing themselves was actually never something they either,

Either the word is desired or thought about and therefore they never did it.

And on some level,

Although not to diminish in any way the great actions of sharing with others,

Whether it was giving of charity or giving up their time and assistance and love and friendship,

Their unique gift that they were meant to bring to this world probably was lacking in being revealed.

And that's what we're talking about.

That- And don't you find it's the hardest things that you,

It's not the things that are easier,

Right?

Like you created a multi-billion dollar business,

But maybe he was really meant to speak from his heart and come from that place and write a book that will inspire people in a different way,

Right?

We don't know the parts of ourselves- And they're not mutually exclusive.

Right.

For sure.

But- Because I think the idea is that people who are successful in whatever it is that they do,

We're not saying that,

Oh,

You should not be a successful parent.

You shouldn't be a success,

Continue to be a successful person in business.

But ask yourself the question.

How am I developing?

And the question,

And I often ask myself this,

What are the traits that you want to either change or develop?

And what do you need to do in order to do that?

And this is an active process,

Active thinking,

Active writing- Continual.

Yes.

But I think one of the great drivers should be that if you really accept,

And I really hope that our listeners accept this,

The light,

Goodness,

Wisdom that you have to reveal,

Every single one of us,

Is both unique,

Unique and necessary.

But it will not be fully revealed neither to yourself nor to those around you,

To your children,

To your friends,

To your spouse,

To the world,

Unless you are actively focused,

Giving energy and working on this development of yourself,

Of your being.

What do I literally make that list?

What are the traits that I need to develop?

What are the traits that I need to diminish?

And do I see that transforming?

And where are you putting your energy and your essence in to everything each day?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Keep going.

No,

I was going to read one more.

I was going to ask you,

Actually,

I was going to ask you a question.

Yes?

Okay.

I was going to say,

Can you share a recent moment or time that you either rethought your being,

More of something,

Less of something to be a different person,

That you invested that time and effort and thought into the development of yourself?

Pressure.

I think for me,

It often comes in.

.

.

It's interesting because what we do with our lives really is in the realm of spirituality,

Right?

What we teach and study,

How we help people.

So for me,

It's often to make sure that I'm walking in the talk and I'm constantly doing that work myself.

Our children happen to be the example or the opportunity for me to pause and say,

Okay,

Really,

Who are you?

How are you being?

How are you living?

Because I think that in other areas,

It's really interesting.

In other areas,

It's more like you can see,

Are the students happy?

Are you making an impact?

With our kids,

It's always more about the little things they say or the actions that they do or the disappointments or the joys that they have that makes me pause and question,

Am I really being?

That's the example I gave with Abigail today,

As much as I was thinking about her all day,

If I can't show up for the five minutes when she walked to that door.

.

.

And by the way,

I think in terms of creativity,

She's still expecting when she walks in the door that we're going to be like,

Abigail,

We've done always,

Especially when she was little,

Right?

She walks in and the whole room lights up and we make sure she knows that.

And so I think it's those reminders.

I never want to be the one that's going to burst that bubble for her or any of the kids.

And for me to make sure that I'm really showing up,

I often have to stop and say,

Okay,

Are you doing now or are you being?

So for me,

They really gauge that.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

I'll just one more quote just from Winnicott.

I believe it is true- What about the question for you?

Oh,

Sorry.

You have a question for me?

Same question.

It's interesting.

It's something we've actually spoken about,

We have many responsibilities and at different points,

I feel my responsibility is greater in one area or the other.

But just recently,

I know I've shared this with you,

Is that I felt that I really need to free up more of my time that is spent maybe on other things to be able to have the time to write because first of all,

I really enjoy that,

But that's not why I really feel that there are important things for me to write.

But because of other responsibilities that take priority,

I- So are you reacting to- Well,

In some ways,

Yes.

In some ways,

Yes.

I try to be present,

Of course,

Even in those.

But for me,

I think that's one of the things that I've been- Because as we're saying to our listeners,

This has to be a constant question,

Right?

Both how am I developing myself?

What are the areas?

What are the things I need to be doing more of?

What are the things I need to be doing less of in order to be able to really manifest my uniqueness?

And therefore,

So recently,

For me,

That has become clearer and clearer that that area of my life,

Really dedicating the time and saying no and not spending time and other things which are also important,

But because at least at this point right now,

I'm feeling that that's what my soul is telling me,

That it's important for you to do this.

So for me,

I think that's one area that recently have become clear about delegation of time.

And by the way,

We have to keep asking ourselves that question every day,

All the time in every area of our lives,

Not just one.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

So as we often mention- Wait,

You said you had one more quote.

I'm mindful of time.

I believe it is true,

As I have already indicated,

That however poor the individual's equipment,

Experience can be creative and can be felt to be exciting in the sense that there is always something new and unexpected in the air,

To live with that sense of excitement.

Again,

He uses the example of even a person cooking,

A person looking at a tree,

A person,

Like you said,

Welcoming their child.

Living creatively,

Right,

It's a reality that we can and are meant to be experiencing all the time if we're mindful,

If we're being before doing.

Irregardless of your circumstances.

Exactly.

If we are living a proactive,

Active life rather than reaction to stimuli and to responsibilities and things that we need to do.

So as we often mention,

The letters from our listeners really inspire us.

And what I love is the synchronicity often between the letters that we receive and share in any given week with the.

.

.

Not even though,

Of course,

Our listeners that are writing haven't heard this podcast yet,

But often I find it's beautiful how- Right,

It fits in.

Yeah,

It fits in exactly to what we've spoken about until now.

So please keep sending your stories and sharing your experiences and send them to monicaandmichael.

Com.

We will share as many as we can with our listeners,

But just so you know,

By sending them,

You inspire Monica and I to continue recording these podcasts and doing everything else that we do.

So please,

Please,

Please keep sending more and more stories,

Experiences that you're having with this podcast with the wisdom that you're receiving from it.

So this is from one of our listeners,

Name is Jessica.

Monica and Michael,

Thank you for sharing.

I discovered your work first by listening to Monica as a guest on a podcast about a year ago and more recently finding your podcast,

Spiritually Hungry,

And proceeding to devour every episode you've recorded so far in the matter of a couple of weeks.

That's so nice.

Yes,

Thank you.

I've just begun studying A Course in Miracles.

So I'll read it.

On page 12 of the text it reads,

While you believe you are in a body,

However,

You can choose between loveless and miraculous channels of expression.

You can make an empty shell,

But you cannot express nothing at all.

You can wait,

Delay,

Paralyze yourself,

Or reduce your creativity almost to nothing,

But you cannot abolish it.

You can destroy your medium of communication,

But not your potential.

This of course relates deeply to much of what you speak about in your conversations on the podcast.

I will not go into all the connections that come to mind as there are literally hundreds,

But one important connection that's resonating with my soul now is the truth that we cannot abolish the creative force within ourselves because that's the light of the spirit.

It is therefore indestructible,

But our free will allows that we may lay veils and veils,

Layers upon layers over that light.

And as the quote says,

Reduce it to almost nothing.

That is to say block it,

But we simply don't have the power to extinguish that light.

So I think many of our listeners are probably making connections to what we've spoken about just in this podcast.

Your teachings and now the study of A Course in Miracles came together in my life at this time for a great purpose,

To inspire me to fulfill my purpose.

I see a path forward to live even more inspiredly than I do now.

I have three young children.

The oldest is six.

Since becoming a mother,

I've been challenged with the feeling that some parts of my purpose have been placed on hold and consumed by the daily tasks necessary to show up as a good mother and wife.

Right?

And it's really,

Really my synchronicity with what we've spoken about for the past podcast.

Even in the way I just wrote that,

I can see the victimhood and error in that sentiment.

You are helping me reveal to myself that this now is the arena within which my purpose is unfolding.

Thank you over and over again for your part in my spiritual growth.

Let us continue to share and share and share our light.

Jessica from Minnesota.

PS,

My husband Zach and I also have a child with Down syndrome.

His name is Bennett and he is six years old.

We count him among the greatest gifts we will receive in this lifetime.

Naturally,

We look up to you as parents of a son with Down syndrome who is older than ours.

We love and appreciate your sharing about your son,

Josh.

So beautiful.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thank you,

Jessica.

And there's no question in my mind that many of our listeners are drawing inspiration from your words.

And to all the rest of our listeners,

Please make sure to continue sending your stories,

Anything that can inspire us and our listeners to Monica and Michael at kabala.

Com.

Please make sure that you go to Apple Podcasts,

Write reviews,

Leave five star reviews,

Share this with your friends and family,

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The reason we record this podcast is to inspire listeners like Jessica and all the rest of our listeners.

So please,

If you can do your part,

Share this podcast with as many people as you can.

And we hope you enjoyed listening to this podcast as much as we enjoyed recording it.

Bye.