The desire to feel different,
A natural part of our human experience.
We ache to feel safe,
Comfortable,
Loved,
Easy,
Spacious,
Creative,
Excited.
And then there's the dark,
The shadow,
The pain,
The discomfort,
The anxiety,
The fear.
We ache to stay out of those places,
To run,
Distract,
To even pray,
Meditate,
Breathe them away.
But it is learning to dance in the light and in the dark,
To make room,
To make space for these places,
To be curious about our fears and anxieties and shadows,
To enter into them deeper,
To discover the medicine,
The healing powers of what it is we ache to avoid.
All of it has something to teach us about ourselves,
Each other,
The world.
All of it is expansion,
All of it is higher consciousness.
When we live in the micro,
When it feels like the walls are closing in on us and we want to come out of our bodies and out of the space,
When we feel like we can't take it anymore,
The pain is just too great.
It is then we are given an opportunity to observe,
To step into higher consciousness,
To compassionately witness,
To watch ourselves as divine beings having a human experience,
To learn how to be and sit with our pain,
To let it metabolize and move through us.
Our only options are not to repress or overexpress,
But we can breathe deeply,
We can make more room,
We can sit with these parts of self.
It is the way we heal,
It is the way we discover,
It is the way we allow ourselves to move through so we don't have to return time and time again to the same story and the same pain.
So wherever you are in this moment,
Whatever feeling you hope to shift or change,
We are going to sit with it exactly as it is.
And so I want you to take a really big deep breath in,
Exhaling and surrendering your body to the earth,
Bringing all of your attention and awareness to the center of your heart,
And to your body,
Staying with your breath.
And with every inhale,
Imagine yourself expanding,
Making more room inside of yourself.
And with every exhale,
You're surrendering to all that is.
Slowly breathing in,
Making more room,
Exhaling and surrender.
And on your next exhale,
I want you to imagine cracking open the center of your heart,
The portal to the other realm,
Your deepest knowing,
Your heart's truth.
Allow the light of your heart to shine through.
With every exhale,
You expand that light,
Creating this beautiful ethereal cocoon,
Allowing that light to encompass your entire body and the entire space around you until you can feel yourself floating in this beautiful light.
And inside of this space,
A beautiful ethereal veil appears,
And you take your hand,
Sliding it across the veil,
And you find yourself stepping out into a land of vast mountains.
Your feet step on old ancient stone as you look around at giant peaks making their way up towards the sky,
Ancient and old.
Allow your landscape to appear around you,
Trusting what you see.
Continue to feel into the expansiveness with your breath,
The support of your ancestors,
Of the earth mother.
And off in the distance,
On the side of one of these mountains,
Is the entrance to a cave.
Too far to walk,
So I want you to call on a helping spirit winged creature to meet you.
The animals of air teach us how to expand our view,
How to see the bigger picture,
How to move from the micro to the macro,
Whether it be the eagle,
The owl,
The dragon or crow.
They swoop down,
Landing in front of you,
Holding their wing out,
Bowing down,
Calling you on to their back.
Feel their feathers,
Their skin.
Lay upon them,
Attune your breath to theirs,
Breathing in deeply and exhaling.
Now allow yourself to be taken up,
Into the air,
Into the wind,
Taking in the expansiveness of the great below.
And as you fly high above in the air,
I want you to think about that feeling it is that you ache to change.
And taking really big deep breaths,
Finding it in your body,
You make more room for it.
As you continue to fly,
I want you to think about your ability to hold space for both feelings.
Holding space for this discomfort,
While also holding space for this adventure,
This connection to your vision,
This animal,
The expansiveness of the sky,
The color of the mountains,
The feeling of hope and freedom.
Slowly breathing in,
Making room for both,
And your animal drops you down at the base of your cave,
Letting you know they will be outside waiting at the end of your journey.
As you make your way down from their back or wing,
Feeling your feet on the cool stone,
You walk into the darkness,
Continuing to breathe deeply,
With every step you take,
The ground beneath you illuminates,
The earth and stone coming to life in color and texture,
The mountain showing you they are alive,
They are with you,
There is nothing to fear.
You begin to hear water,
You begin to smell the sweet of flowers,
And you find yourself greeted by a tropical forest,
Allow all of the color to expand around you,
The trees and the moss clinging to the sides of the stone,
There are other birds and creatures here,
It is alive,
This beautiful space,
Thriving in the darkness.
Now find a place to sit,
As you are surrounded by this beauty,
I want you to come back into your body,
Once again finding that space you ache to change,
That feeling you no longer want to feel.
Find it in your body,
Maybe you feel its energy,
See it as a color or a light,
A texture.
Take a deep breath in,
Make more room for it,
Maybe it is a story,
Maybe it is an obsession,
Whatever it is,
Allow it to come,
And then take a deep breath in,
Exhale,
Send it outside of your body,
Imagine it about three feet in front of you,
Maybe it is a color,
Maybe it is a person,
Maybe it is you,
Ask it to show itself to you in a different way so you can be with it,
Sometimes giving it eyes and a face allows for more presence,
As you feel and see the discomfort,
Continue to breathe,
You are not trying to change it,
And you are not trying to get rid of it,
It is calling you,
It is asking you for something which is why it exists,
And I want you to sit here with it,
Really be here.
You might find all you need to do is breathe,
You might find you want to ask it questions to understand it more,
I want you to think of yourself as a loving parent,
This part of you,
You are able to love,
To allow,
To be,
You are not trying to shove it down,
You become curious,
Accepting,
Surrendering,
And if it starts to feel too big,
Too much,
Give it more room,
Make your cave larger,
Give it more space to be,
And you can thank this part of self for showing itself to you,
Letting it be honored,
And then I want you to imagine it becoming one with the landscape,
Freeing it,
As your cave becomes brighter,
The plants become greener,
And a beautiful light shines through a crack up above in the ceiling of the cave,
Shining down,
Illuminating even further this beautiful landscape,
And you are reminded at any time you can return to this place,
To make room for your feelings,
To be with all that you are exactly as you are,
You make your way out of the cave,
Back towards your helping spirit animal that's been waiting for you,
And they take you one last circle in the air,
As you breathe in the expansiveness of life,
And they drop you down towards the earth,
Your feet again on the stone,
You thank them for their love and wisdom,
Knowing at any time they're only a call away,
And taking one last look around you,
You take a deep breath in,
Exhaling,
Slowly allowing the landscape to disappear,
As you come back into your body,
Back into the space,
Opening your eyes,
When you're ready.
