Getting Better At Making Decisions When Overwhelmed #234

DECISIONS, DECISIONS, DECISIONS... How to make a decision when you don't know what to do? How to know what's best when you feel overwhelmed, under pressure, or anxious? How to decide when there are just too many options?? Do you ever experience "decision fatigue"? In this episode, I share tips and strategies to navigate through the decision-making process with more ease and relaxation. This episode was recorded live on June 20th, 2022.

Transcript

Welcome to the Soul Infused Monday Show!

Today's topic is how to get better at making decisions,

Even when you are feeling overwhelmed,

Stressed out or insecure about the decision.

And to give a little bit of context,

If you have not been following my current journey,

I have been dealing with decision-making.

We all have dealt with it all our lives.

However,

Recently in the last couple of months,

I have been going through this process so severely and much more than lately,

Because in February I left the Dominican Republic,

Where I used to live,

And I've been traveling since then and I am on the lookout for a new home.

Now on that journey,

I get to constantly make decisions,

And I had and have so many moments where I sit and think,

I don't know what to do,

I don't know what to do,

There's so much going on.

That does not relate to your current journey about traveling maybe,

Or trying to get a new home,

But decisions,

Decisions,

Decisions.

We get to make decisions a lot in our daily life,

And it can apply to you in your business life.

It can be in your family life.

It can be in your health.

It can be just even for lifestyle.

Also,

This time that we're in right now,

It feels sometimes so fast-paced,

So much information,

So many options.

It's so overwhelming sometimes that making a decision can be really hard sometimes.

Can you relate?

Can you relate with the fact that sometimes you just don't know what to do because you feel so overwhelmed?

I hope that my tips today and sharing how I maneuver this roller coaster of decision-making will help you to ease your mind a little bit,

Give you some inspiration,

Give you some tips and strategies of how I maneuver it.

Hopefully,

This will help you today.

Take a nice deep breath,

First of all.

First of all,

Just take a breath.

One of the things I wanted to say to start right off,

Whatever decision you make,

It generally works out.

It might not always work the way you envisioned it or planned it,

But it always works out on some level,

And you are proof right now at this very moment,

Right this second,

That you're watching me or maybe you're just listening in somewhere.

You are alive.

You are safe.

Otherwise,

You wouldn't watch this right now.

You have a device,

A phone,

A laptop,

Whatever device you have running internet in power.

It worked out so far.

Everything worked out so far.

Now,

Let that sink in for a moment.

We often are so consumed with so much stuff around that we don't take a moment to say,

Hey,

It actually worked out.

I'm here where I'm at right now.

It might not be the perfect room for improvement,

But it generally works out when we look back.

Would you agree or would you disagree?

And both are totally welcome.

Maybe you agree or maybe you totally disagree.

Totally fine.

Let me know.

Do you agree?

Do you disagree?

In general,

When we look back,

It worked out.

Otherwise,

You wouldn't be here.

That's number one.

Number two,

And you might want to take notes.

Some of the things that I'm going to share are not new at all,

And yet they are so helpful sometimes because that's what I get to remind myself going through journey of decisions,

Decisions,

Decisions.

Maybe you know the term decision fatigue.

Sometimes there are so many decisions to make that even a small decision that we have on our mind seems to be like climbing a big mountain.

Right.

So first of all,

Remind yourself it generally works out.

It generally does.

The other thing is we tend to overcomplicate,

Period.

Most of us do that.

Most of us tend to overcomplicate.

So when you catch yourself being totally overwhelmed or not knowing what decision to make,

Being anxious about it,

Being insecure,

Remind yourself,

OK,

If I would simplify this and you can ask the question,

What's the easiest solution right now?

What's the easiest way to look at this?

And you remove the stuff that is not really important and you de-overcomplicate it.

I don't know if that's even a word.

I just came up with it.

So you de-overcomplicate it.

That's one other thing.

Next time you hear yourself say,

I don't know what to do.

I've thought that many times in the last couple of months.

So I am with you 100 percent.

Doesn't even matter what the decision is about.

Next time you hear yourself think or say out loud,

I don't know what to do.

First,

Of course,

Take a breath,

Because I hope one thing that I keep saying to you over and over again,

That it's so ingrained,

That is first you want to take a deep breath and then ask this question instead.

What do I know for sure?

Write that down so you might know,

I don't know what to do.

However,

We know something.

We know something.

So you want to ask yourself,

OK,

What do I know for sure?

And maybe for sure is,

Well,

I don't want to do this.

Or maybe I have three options or I know for sure that I want to go in that direction at least.

You know at least something for sure.

So check what do I know for sure and tune into that.

That's a great question.

What do I know for sure?

And I want to give you a few other questions that I use.

And I had a little,

I call it a genius moment.

It was Saturday when I was running.

I tell you that in a moment it relates to the questions that I'm going to share with you.

And that genius moment for me,

I call it when I have an aha moment or a breakthrough or something like,

Ah.

And it might be a total no genius moment for you,

But I will share it anyway because it's so simple,

But it was so profound in that moment.

So hang in there.

Here are a few questions that you can ask yourself when you are not sure what to do.

If you want to make a decision but you don't know what to do.

The question could be,

What is really important?

What is really important?

Write it down.

It's so simple.

However,

Again,

It goes back to the overcomplicate things and we pile on things.

Go back to the present moment and check what's really important right now.

Okay,

That's one question.

Another question that works for me also.

Sometimes we are also challenged because it might be a financial investment question.

So when I'm not sure what to do and I'm not 100% sure,

Is it actually,

Do I not want to spend the money or is it not important enough?

If I'm not sure around that,

I ask the question and I remove everything else to the side and I say,

If it wouldn't be for the money,

Would I do it or not?

The answer for me comes very quickly.

If it wouldn't be for money,

Sometimes it's a clear yes,

Then I generally do it anyway.

But that's obviously anyone's decisions can choose.

And sometimes it's still a no.

I say,

Oh,

It's not actually about the money.

Even if I would have the money,

It's no,

I don't want to do it.

So it creates clarity if money is an issue.

Now you can substitute money with something else.

What I did,

And I share a little story.

When I left the Dominican Republic,

I first went to Colombia and I wanted,

I thought I would stay there for a couple of months,

Maybe even for six months,

Would travel around.

So I was open to it.

And after being there for a month or a couple of weeks,

And then I was house sitting for a friend up in the mountains,

And it was very challenging.

I was going through some stuff and at some point I wasn't sure what I wanted to do next.

I had no idea what to do.

I was like,

Am I going to travel to Colombia?

Am I,

Where am I actually going to go?

I'm basically home free besides of this physical body that I can call my home,

My physical home right now.

I don't have a physical home.

So it's not like,

Oh,

I'm not going to go back home.

I'm not going to here.

So I was very stressed out about it.

The question that helped me in that moment was what's really important right now for me?

Like,

What's the intention of my next step?

And you can apply that to anything.

It does not have to be traveling.

And I was tuning in and in that moment,

I felt right now where I'm at,

I'm in a different place right now,

Internally,

Externally.

But in that moment,

I remember back when I was in Colombia,

I was sitting there.

It was more important to me to connect with friends,

To have community and to start to get back in shape physically,

To take care of my health and my physical health and movement and friendship connection.

And for the first time in my life,

I would merely say,

Looking back and I've traveled a lot and I still do travel by myself.

But in that moment,

It was very clear to me I didn't want to travel by myself.

I did not want to make one more decision by myself.

Accommodation,

Flights,

Where to go.

I just felt like I don't want to do it by myself this time,

Right now,

This moment.

So then when I wavered between am I going to stay in Colombia and travel or am I going to go to Turks and Caicos where I went,

Where I used to live because my friend invited me to stay there with her.

I wasn't so sure.

It wasn't in my plans.

I didn't even think of going there.

It wasn't even my intention.

But then I reconnected to what's important for me in that moment.

Friendship,

Exercise.

And I love playing tennis.

I have my tennis buddies there.

I have friendship there.

Everything else that I was looking for,

I knew I would have there.

And then when I wasn't sure,

I asked again,

What is important right now,

Sonia?

What's your intention for your next trip?

And then I got clarity again when I got insecure about am I making the right decision?

Are we not so often so stressed out about making the right decision?

Right.

So that helped me tremendously.

And I knew the answer was still no,

I don't want to travel by myself right now.

Therefore,

I'm not going to stay in Colombia.

I'm going to move to Turks.

Not move.

I'm not moving there.

No,

No,

No.

No rumors out there.

I am going to Turks and Caicos.

So the question,

What's important to you right now?

What's your intention with any type of decision that you get to make?

Maybe it's a decision that you get to make for your children.

Education,

Work,

Health,

Money.

It doesn't matter.

That question is gold.

The other thing that you can ask and I had that goes along with my genius moment.

But one other question.

I wrote it down so I don't forget.

One other question that helps me as well.

What I do.

I generally there is no always and no 100 percent.

I've been on the journey for a long time.

I came a long way.

I trust myself and I generally trust.

Now,

Sometimes when I didn't know what to do or when I don't know what to do,

There's a level of we are not trusting ourselves in that moment.

There is a notion of I don't know what to do means like I'm not clear.

I don't trust something or myself.

So then I ask the question.

If I would trust myself 100 percent.

What would I do?

Or you can even remove that 100 percent.

You can say if I try if I would trust myself in this moment,

What would I do?

And again,

It's an internal process and it helps you to reconnect with in very powerful.

So and I give you so many things.

Write them down.

You explore what works for you.

These are all suggestions,

All invitations for you to explore it,

For you to remember.

And for you to hopefully get inspired so that you can be more relaxed about making decisions versus being so afraid or stressed about it or overwhelmed.

And it's OK to be overwhelmed sometimes.

And it's OK not to know what to do.

Sometimes it's OK.

It's totally everything is OK.

Everything is an experience.

Everything is an opportunity to go inside and learn and grow.

So the next question that got me to my little genius moment that I love that moment.

So I was running on Saturday morning.

I started to run here only recently.

So I'm quite out of shape.

However,

I was running.

And again,

I was thinking about what am I going to do next?

What am I going to do next?

To give you an example,

I was thinking,

OK,

Am I going to stay longer in Europe?

Am I going to go back to Caribbean,

America,

Kind of like that continent?

Or am I going to go to Asia as I'm already in Europe?

So I'm already halfway through.

And so many things.

And I was anxious about things.

Also,

I'm not someone that lives in scarcity.

However,

Once in a while,

Someone tells me something and it sticks.

And so a friend of mine was saying,

Yes,

Stay in Europe,

But don't stay too long.

You don't know.

Maybe another round of a pandemic or lockdown is coming.

You don't want to stay.

You don't want to stay stuck in the winter there.

So that somehow was in my system as well.

So I was having all these thoughts,

All these fears and insecurities and doubts.

There's so many options.

When you have too many options,

It's extremely stressful.

Give me two options or three and I'm happy.

Give me like an endless variety of options.

It is very,

Very stressful to make a decision.

And again,

Doesn't relate necessarily only for travel,

Any type of decision.

If you have more than two options or three,

And usually it's even more.

It's easy for us to get stressed out.

OK,

Genius moment.

Now,

I was running and I was going in my head.

What am I going to do?

Am I going to do this?

Am I going to do that?

And then I asked myself the question.

If I wouldn't be scared.

What would I do?

I asked that question.

And then obviously my mind thought then a certain solution or direction or answer would pop up.

I'm laughing because I just love that moment so much.

So I asked the question.

I wouldn't be scared.

What would I do?

Where would I go?

And the answer that came made me laugh.

And it was just so such a genius moment.

The answer that came was if I wouldn't be scared right now.

I wouldn't think about it.

Now let that sink in for a moment.

It's so simple,

But it's so profound.

So in that moment,

I was thinking,

If I wouldn't be scared,

What would I do?

And it's like,

You wouldn't even think about it.

And in that moment,

Everything just dropped like a big weight from my shoulders.

And I had to laugh.

And I felt like this is like genius.

I said to myself,

Wow,

I wouldn't even think about it.

I wouldn't stress about it if I would not be scared,

Because what's the fear?

Ultimately,

The fear is making the wrong decision.

There's no such thing like a wrong decision.

There is no such thing like wrong decision.

There's only a decision.

There's a decision you make and it will have consequences and results.

And if you like them,

You continue on that path.

If you don't like it,

You can regroup,

Reset and go into a different direction.

But that I got that I wouldn't think about it released so much stress from my system that I thought it was genius.

Now,

Maybe you think it's stupid or you think it's not genius at all.

However,

I'm sure that one person will hear this and will think,

Oh,

Yeah,

That is great.

I wouldn't even stress about it.

Now,

I have one really,

Really important piece as well that is super,

Super helpful.

One more piece when you are stressed out about decision making.

But before I go there,

I want to check in with you out of everything I've shared today.

All the tips and strategies and stories that I shared with you today.

What landed for you?

What was the most valuable thing you heard today?

So take a moment to tune in.

Take a breath.

It's always great to take a breath in between.

I use an opportunity to relax,

To be present and share with me.

I love hearing your takeaways.

So if you're watching this right now or if you're listening to this and you are not able to write a comment,

Leave me a review at the end.

Send me a message.

Share with me.

I love it.

I love it.

I appreciate it so much.

What is your biggest takeaway?

And I will share your takeaway in just a moment before I wrap this up.

One super important piece that I do that changed a lot for me over the years because I was terrible in making decisions.

It took me forever.

And I am still working on that.

I have the goal to get better and better in making decisions quickly.

I want to get better at making decisions quickly.

I want to get better at making decisions quickly,

Not quickly,

But quicker.

And also more relaxed,

More mindful,

More conscious.

And I've been working on this.

That's why I'm sharing all of this with you.

And I am still on this journey because I want to get better at it.

So while I'm learning to get better at it,

I'm sharing this with you,

Too.

My biggest tip I have for you when you have a moment that you are stressed,

When you feel stressed out,

When you feel anxious,

When you feel under pressure and you don't know what to do in that moment.

My number one recommendation is.

Don't make a decision at all.

Take a break.

Step out.

Do something completely different,

Because in that state of energy and that emotional distress.

Not only is it going to be like a vicious cycle that you loop in,

You're also most likely not make the best decision because you are not in the mind frame of it.

Don't make a decision in that moment.

And here's the biggest piece.

Shift consciousness.

Shift your energy.

Go to a higher place of consciousness.

And you can do that through meditation,

Through energy balancing,

Through breathing,

Through movement,

Through sound.

I've shared so many things here over the last five years on the Soul Infused Monday show.

You have everything you need to shift your energy.

So I'm not going to go into this today.

But my biggest advice is when you are super stressed out,

When you feel anxious,

When you feel overwhelmed and under pressure,

Don't make a decision.

Get out of that situation.

Do something completely different to break that pattern so that you can revisit and make the decision from a clear state of mind,

From a trusting.

And I'm more relaxed.

And sometimes we are afraid because time is ticking.

Right?

I've been sometimes under time pressure.

I knew I had to move out the next day.

Or I knew my Airbnb was expiring or I had a flight,

But I didn't know where to sleep.

Yet something around those terms,

It doesn't even matter.

There is a time pressure.

Even then,

Don't let your mind tell you,

Yes,

But I need to make a decision now,

Because that energy is not going to take you anywhere.

So I shared a lot.

I want to go over your comments.

I wanted to keep this under 30 minutes.

I hope I will make it.

I want to see your biggest takeaways.

Know that I read all your comments.

I love your comments,

Your feedback,

Your reviews.

I love reading them.

So please keep them coming.

Be so kind,

Whether you liked it or not,

Whether you had a takeaway or not.

I welcome every feedback from you.

Biggest takeaway.

I'm going to share a few.

And I used the term decision fatigue before.

And I hear here also known as decision constipation.

I like that.

I saw this comment here.

Thank you,

Darlene.

Here are some of the most valuable things learned today.

If I wouldn't be scared,

What would I do?

Great takeaway.

My pleasure,

Tina.

Thank you.

Most valuable thus far.

There is no wrong decision.

It is only a decision.

Very timely topic for me.

Overwhelmed in prepping for a big road trip.

So you can relate.

Yes.

Traveling big time.

My pleasure.

I'm happy.

Thank you for sharing.

I appreciate it,

Darlene.

Another takeaway.

I tend to overthink things.

So I love the simplicity of your aha.

I often get the message to get out of my head.

So good to hear your takeaways.

And I will listen to the beginning on the replay.

Yeah,

Beautiful,

Gail.

Thank you.

Thank you for sharing.

I will read one more.

It was supportive to hear that there are no bad decisions.

There are consequences to decisions and you can regroup for a different decision.

Thank you,

Ellen.

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for being here today.

It's always a pleasure.

I appreciate you.

I'm happy that you spent the time here with me today.

Happy that you had some valuable insights.

Please come back next Monday from a different country.

Still from Europe.

To a news episode for a news episode of Soul Infuse Monday 12 p.

M.

Eastern Time every Monday.

And have a fantastic week.

I invite you to practice one thing you heard today and write all the other things down.

Make some notes.

Keep it simple.

Go inside.

Go up to higher consciousness.

Ask those questions so that you can get more clarity.

And keep breathing.

Happy Soul Infuse Monday.

Much love.

Reviews

If I wasn’t afraid I wouldn’t even think about it! I wouldn’t be stressed about it.

This reminded me that (from an IFS parts work perspective) when I’m stressed, I’m in a part, not in Self energy, so I need to get more into peaceful Self energy before deciding. Otherwise I’m letting my parts make decisions for me.

Thanks!

Amazingly apt.loved it.🧡🙏