A Talk About Inviting More Pleasure

In this short talk, I talk about the different types of pleasure we can experience and the barriers that we can sometimes face when it comes to experiencing our pleasure. I also discuss the benefits of cultivating more pleasure in our lives and share some of my personal journey on this juicy topic.

Transcript

Well,

Pleasure is a topic that is very dear to my heart and as I record this short talk,

I am actually indulging in my own pleasure right now as I am once again in the forest close to nature,

Hearing the birds,

Perhaps you can even hear them in the background,

And just taking this hour to switch off from my Wi-Fi,

To connect to my body,

Heart and soul and to,

Yeah,

Just have this bit of nourishment out in nature.

So,

I'm talking to you on this topic from a place of pleasure itself.

And as you're listening,

Maybe you're even asking yourself,

You know,

What is pleasure?

I mean,

It's a big word,

Right?

It can be a triggering word even.

But if we look at the dictionary definition of pleasure,

It is often defined as being a pleased feeling of enjoyment,

Of delight,

Of satisfaction.

And it can also relate to your wish,

Your will,

Or your choice.

And as I feel into this topic,

I realize that actually pleasure is a very diverse thing,

You know?

And what I think is particularly beautiful about it is that nobody gets to define it for you.

It's a very personal thing.

So,

For some people,

Maybe mental pleasure,

For example,

Is what really gives them a thrill,

You know?

Whereas,

Perhaps for the next person,

Cooking a nice homely meal,

Creating a beautiful space at home with candles and calm,

Kind of minimalist approach,

You know,

Maybe for that person,

Then the homely aspect would be pleasure.

Of course,

Pleasure can be sensual,

It can be spiritual,

It can be sexual,

And that's the word that we most often,

I would say,

Connect with the word pleasure.

It can be playful,

It can be to do with nature,

You know,

The list really goes on.

And yeah,

In this moment,

As I speak with you,

I have this kind of feeling of an inner smile because,

Yeah,

I'm so,

So passionate,

Really,

At opening up this topic around pleasure.

Because I feel that,

Especially as women,

Many of us are putting limits on our pleasure.

You know,

We feel like it's not responsible to actually indulge in it.

We have so many roles and responsibilities and duties,

And they are what we need to go to first,

That pleasure is kind of a secondary thing,

Or that it's superficial or hedonistic.

And yeah,

We often heap so many different labels onto what is essentially a very pure state of delight,

A childlike,

Innocent state,

Which when we're in it,

Actually gives so much to,

You know,

The people around us.

They pick up on our pleasure vibes,

They feel our joy,

And actually,

They have a little bit for themselves.

And so,

My wish for everybody,

And especially for women,

Is that,

You know,

We give ourselves good,

Good time and space to actually fully experience pleasure in our lives.

And that's not always easy because,

You know,

If you think about some of the sayings associated with pleasure,

For example,

My guilty pleasure,

You know,

What an oxymoron that is,

You know.

Something so wonderful and nourishing and light is actually heaped next to a word that's loaded with shame and blame,

You know.

And of course,

Other things that often get in the way and are barriers for us are feeling like we don't have enough time,

Yeah,

As I was saying previously,

Responsibilities.

And even things that we put in our own way,

Like,

You know,

When we get super addicted to checking our WhatsApp messages or,

You know,

We're overly connected to Wi-Fi and then kind of disconnected to ourselves and our inner worlds,

That can also be something that makes pleasure a little bit on the outside of our lives.

And then,

Of course,

Other things can crop up and often do,

You know,

Moments when we have high stress levels,

When our anxiety is,

You know,

A bit higher,

And actually we don't really find an access point to our own pleasure,

So it becomes something that,

You know,

Is somewhere out there in the ether,

But we can't really relate to or tune into.

So our habits can also very much influence pleasure.

As I shared previously on a talk around creativity,

It's very similar actually for me when it comes to pleasure.

I know that how I start my day is super,

Super important when it comes to the levels of pleasure that I'm likely to experience throughout the course of the day.

So when I get out first thing,

I have my morning walk,

I'm in the fresh air,

I jog,

I'm connected to my body,

So I feel like,

You know,

Like the whole me.

All of this is actually boosting my energy levels,

Getting the energy in my chakras spinning and flowing,

And this in itself is really conducive to me being able to access my pleasure.

And you know,

Sometimes we just feel,

Again,

Especially as women,

That we're just not allowed to have pleasure.

You know,

It's just almost like a taboo or,

Yeah,

That,

You know,

It's something that maybe we indulged in when we were younger as kids,

But,

You know,

Right now there's no time or space for it.

And as a result of that,

We can even forget what brings us pleasure.

And I really think that we need to forgive ourselves for that.

Because in any case,

Our perception of pleasure changes,

You know,

Through the decades of our lives.

So part of our work is actually to re-explore what brings us pleasure now.

Because what we liked doing 10 years ago is not necessarily,

You know,

What's really going to light us up and give us a buzz nowadays.

So there's a process of getting to know each other,

Getting to know ourselves,

Sorry,

Again,

You know,

Fresh.

And what I also want to share is something around my personal journey with pleasure.

It actually started in a time in my life when I had a massive,

Massive kick up the bum from the universe.

It really was a moment of rejection and it was traumatic.

And just as I was kind of exiting that moment,

Literally the moment had happened and I was starting to move past it in the very,

Very early stages.

I actually had quite a surreal and timely experience.

I met,

I was on a bus and I'm living in Switzerland and there was a lady that was facing me on the bus.

And generally speaking over here in Switzerland,

People are quite private.

So it's not like every day that somebody would speak to you on a bus.

And this lady anyway,

You know,

Began to strike up this conversation with me.

And I think I must've,

I don't know,

Been energetically open or my soul was ready to,

You know,

Have this experience.

I'm not sure what,

But in any case,

She was asking me how I knew her and I didn't know her.

And she said,

Are you musical?

And I said,

Well,

I sing.

And we were trying to find the connection,

But,

You know,

Didn't really find it.

And of course we ended up leaving the bus at exactly the same bus stop.

And there was just something that was pulling me towards her,

You know?

And she said,

You know,

Would you like to come and see my apartment?

Which is kind of a strange thing for somebody that you've just met.

But something in me said,

Okay,

You know,

This is the village that I'm living in.

I feel quite a lot of trust.

Anyway,

So I enter into this woman's apartment,

Which was very small and,

You know,

Pleasant,

But I still wasn't fully understanding why I needed to be there.

And then on the wall,

She suddenly points to this very big,

Red,

Dramatic,

Fiery,

Textured painting.

And on the painting was the word Der Wille,

Meaning will.

And you know what?

In that moment,

It was incredible.

I just had this visceral knowing that this was a huge sign to really,

Really become my fully passionate,

Authentic self.

And I knew in this moment that my pleasure journey was beginning.

And so that's what makes me so passionate these days.

I'm now working as a Tantra guide.

I'm also a creative leadership coach,

And I'm guiding women on their own pleasure journeys.

So I'm offering sensuality,

Coaching journeys,

Also Tantra massage and coaching journeys.

And what's behind all of this for me is the fact that I'm now on a mission to help women to fully access,

Connect to,

And experience their pleasure in new and heightened ways.

And it all came about so organically.

And so I guess the reason that I'm recording this little talk is,

You know,

If you're listening and you're thinking,

Well,

Yeah,

I could do with just a little bit more pleasure in my life,

I really like daringly encourage you to embrace more of it,

To explore it,

To get to know it,

To create a vision board on what brings you pleasure these days,

To begin speaking to your friends about that,

And to actually making it a priority in your life.

And if this has aroused your curiosity in any way and you would like to reach out,

Please feel free.

And wishing you a pleasurable day.

Reviews

Was aimed at women but a nice reminder for me too, thank you!

Enlightening talk about pleasure! Thank you for that Sam! Your passion can be felt throughout!