Hello dear ones and welcome to today's reading of The Five Children and It,
Chapter 8.
Just taking a moment as always to arrive here in the space and in your body.
If you are tucked up in bed,
Maybe taking a big stretch and snuggling yourself down beneath the duvet.
And when you're ready,
We will continue with our story.
Chapter 8,
Bigger Than The Baker's Boy.
Look here,
Said Cyril,
I've got an idea.
Does it hurt much,
Said Robert,
Sympathetically.
Don't be a jack-o'-nape.
Oh,
Shut up,
Bobs,
Said Anthea.
Silence for Squirrel's oration,
Said Robert.
Cyril balanced himself on the edge of the water butt in the backyard,
Where they all happened to be,
And spoke.
Friends,
Romans,
Countrymen and women,
We found a Samoyed.
We have had wishes.
We've had wings and being as beautiful as the day,
Which was pretty jolly beastly if you like.
And we've had wealth and castles and that rotten gypsy business with the lamb.
We haven't really got anything,
Though,
Worth having.
We've had things happening,
Said Robert.
That's always something.
It's not enough unless they are the right things,
Said Cyril.
You know jolly well that when we're all rotting about in the usual way,
Heaps of things keep cropping up,
And then real earnest wishes come into the heads of the beholder.
So let's just play bandits or forts or soldiers or any of the old games.
We're dead sure to think of something if we try not to.
The others consented.
Bandits was hastily chosen for the game.
It's as good as anything else,
Said Jane gloomily.
So the bandits set out along the road that led to the sandpit.
We ought to be near the Samoyed,
Said Cyril,
In case we think of anything suddenly.
It is all very well to make up your minds to play bandit or chess or ping pong or any other agreeable game,
But it is not easy to do it with spirit when all the wonderful wishes you can think of or can't think of are waiting for you round the corner.
The game was dragging a little,
And some of the bandits were beginning to feel that the others were disagreeable things,
And were saying so candidly.
Then the baker's boy came along the road with loaves in a basket.
The opportunity was not one to be lost.
Stand and deliver,
Said Cyril.
Your money or your life,
Said Robert.
And they stood on each side of the baker's boy.
Unfortunately,
He did not seem to enter into the spirit of the thing at all.
He was a baker's boy of an unusually large size,
And he merely said,
Chuck it now,
Do you hear?
And pushed the bandits aside most disrespectfully.
Then Robert lassoed him with Jane's skipping rope,
And instead of going around his shoulders as Robert had intended,
It went around his feet and tripped him up.
The basket was upset.
The beautiful new loaves went bumping and bouncing all over the dusty,
Chalky road.
The girls ran to pick them up,
And all in a moment,
Robert and the baker's boy were fighting it out,
Man to man,
With Cyril to see fair play,
And the skipping rope twisting around their legs like an interesting snake that wished to be a peacemaker.
It was that sort of a day.
You know yourself there are days when rows seem to keep on happening,
Quite without your meaning them to.
If I were a writer of tales of adventures,
Such as those which used to appear in the Boys of England when I was young,
Of course I should be able to describe the fight,
But I cannot do it.
I never can see what happens during a fight,
Even when it is only dogs.
Also,
If I had been one of those Boys of England writers,
Robert would have got the best of it.
But I am like George Washington.
I cannot tell a lie,
Even about a cherry tree,
Much less about a fight.
And I cannot conceal from you that Robert was badly beaten.
The baker's boy blacked his eye,
And being ignorant of the first rules of fair play,
He also pulled Robert's hair and kicked him on the knee.
Robert always used to say he could have licked the baker if it hadn't been for the girls,
But I am not sure.
Anyway,
What happened was this,
And very painful it was to self-respecting boys.
Cyril was just tearing off his coat so as to help his brother in proper style,
When Jane threw her arms around his legs and began to cry,
And asked him not to go and get beaten too.
Anthea rushed in between Robert and the baker's boy and caught that unfair and degraded fighter around the waist,
Imploring him not to fight any more.
Oh,
Please don't hurt my brother any more,
She said.
He didn't mean it,
It's only play,
And I'm sure he's very sorry.
The baker boy pushed Anthea away very roughly,
And chased Robert with kicks and unpleasant conversation right down the road to the sandpit,
And there,
With one last kick,
He landed him in a heap of sand.
Cyril,
Impeded by Jane,
Could do nothing without hurting her,
For she still clung around his legs with the strength of despair.
The baker's boy went off,
Red and damp about the face,
Abusive to the last.
He called them a pack of idiots,
And disappeared around the corner.
Then Jane's grasp loosened.
Cyril turned away in silent dignity to follow Robert,
And the girls followed him,
Weeping without restraint.
It was not a happy party that flung itself down in the sand beside the sobbing Robert,
For Robert was sobbing mostly with rage,
Though of course I know that a really heroic boy is always dried-eyed after a fight,
But then he always wins,
Which had not been the case with Robert.
Cyril was angry with Jane,
Robert was furious with Anthea,
And the girls were miserable.
Not one of the four was pleased with the baker's boy.
There was,
As French writers say,
A silence full of emotion.
Then Robert dug his toes and his hands into the sand and wriggled in his rage.
Suddenly,
His hands sprang up,
For they had touched something furry.
It was the Samoyed,
Of course.
I only wish I was bigger than him,
That's all,
Then I'd have beat him.
And of course,
Next moment,
Robert's wish was granted,
And he was bigger than the baker's boy,
But much,
Much bigger.
He was bigger than the policeman who used to be at the crossing at the mansion house years ago,
The one who was so kind in helping old ladies over the crossing.
No one had a ruler in his pocket,
So Robert could not be measured,
But he was taller than your father would be if he stood on your mother's head,
Which I am sure he would never do.
He must have been ten or eleven feet high,
And as broad as a boy of that height ought to be.
His suit had fortunately grown too,
And now he stood up in it,
With one of his enormous stockings turned down to show the big bruise on his vast leg.
Immense tears of fury still stood on his flushed,
Giant face.
He looked so surprised,
And he was so large to be wearing a turned-down collar outside of his jacket,
That the others could not help laughing.
The Samoyeds done us again,
Said Cyril.
Not us,
Me,
Said Robert.
If you'd got any decent feelings,
You'd try to make it make you the same size.
You've no idea how silly it feels.
And I don't want to,
Said Cyril.
I can jolly well see how silly it looks.
Oh,
Don't,
Said Anthea.
It's hateful for poor old Bob's,
All alone up there.
Let's ask the Samoyed for another wish,
And if it will,
I do really think we ought all to be made the same size.
The others agreed,
But not gaily.
But when they found the Samoyed,
It wouldn't.
No,
It said crossly,
Rubbing its face with its feet.
He is a rude,
Violent boy,
And it'll do him good to be the wrong size for a bit.
What did he want to come digging about me for,
With his nasty wet hands?
He nearly touched me.
He's a perfect savage.
A boy of the Stone Age would have had more sense.
Robert's hands had indeed been wet with tears.
Go away and leave me in peace,
The Samoyed went on.
I can't think why you don't wish for something sensible,
Something to eat or drink,
Or good manners,
Or good tempers.
Go along with you,
All of you.
It almost snarled as it shook its whiskers and turned a sulky brown back on them.
They turned again to the colossal Robert.
Whatever shall we do,
They said.
And they all said it.
First,
Said Robert grimly,
I am going to reason with that baker's boy.
I shall catch him at the end of the road.
You can't hit a chap smaller than yourself,
Old man,
Said Cyril.
Do I look like hitting him,
Said Robert.
Why,
I should kill him if I did,
But I'll give him something to remember.
Wait till I pull up my stocking.
He pulled up his stocking,
Which was as large as a small bolster case,
And strode off.
His strides were six or seven feet long,
So that it was quite easy for him to be at the bottom of the hill,
Ready to meet the baker's boy when he came down swinging the empty basket to meet his master's cart.
Robert crouched behind a haystack in the farmyard,
And when he heard the boy come whistling,
He jumped out at him and caught him by the collar.
Now,
He said,
And his voice was about four times its usual size,
I'm going to teach you about kicking boys smaller than you.
He lifted up the baker's boy and set him on top of the haystack,
Which was about 16 feet from the ground,
And then he sat down on the roof of the barn and told the baker's boy exactly what he thought of him.
I don't think the boy heard it all.
He was in a sort of trance of terror.
When Robert had said everything that he could think of,
And some things twice over,
He shook the boy and said,
And now,
Get down the best way you can,
And left him there.
I don't know how the baker's boy got down,
But I do know that he missed the cart and got into the very hottest of hot water when he turned up at last at the bakehouse.
I am sorry for him,
But after all,
It was quite right that he should be taught that boys mustn't use their feet when they are fighting,
Just their fists.
Of course,
The water he got into only became hotter when he tried to tell his master about the boy that he had lit and the giant as high as a church,
Because no one could possibly believe such a tale as that.
Next day,
The tale was believed,
But that was too late to be of any use to the baker's boy.
When Robert rejoined the others,
He found them in the garden.
Anthea had thoughtfully asked Martha to let them have dinner out there,
Because the dining room was rather small,
And it would have been so awkward to have a brother the size of Robert in there.
Martha brought out the dinner.
It was cold veal and baked potatoes,
With pudding and stewed plums to follow.
She of course did not notice that Robert was anything but the usual size,
And she gave him as much meat and potatoes as usual,
And no more.
You have no idea how small your usual helping of dinner looks when you are many times your proper size.
Robert groaned and asked for more bread,
But Martha would not go on giving more bread forever.
She was in a hurry,
Because the keeper intended to call on his way to Benhurst Fair,
And she wished to be smartly dressed before he came.
I wish we were going to the fair,
Said Robert.
You can't go anywhere that size,
Said Cyril.
Why not,
Said Robert.
They have giants at fairs,
Much bigger ones than me.
They don't,
Said Cyril.
Then Jane screamed with such loud suddenness that they all thumped her on the back and asked whether she had swallowed a plumb stone.
No,
She said,
Breathless from being thumped.
It's not a plumb stone,
It's an idea.
Let's take Robert to the fair and get them to give us money for showing him.
Then we really shall get something out of the old Samoyed at last.
The idea appealed irresistibly to everyone but Robert,
But even he was brought round by Anthea's suggestion that he should have a double share of any money that they might make.
There was a little old pony cart in the coach house,
And it seemed desirable to get to the fair as quickly as possible,
So Robert,
Who could now take enormous steps and go very fast indeed,
Consented to wheel the others in this.
It was as easy to him now as wheeling the lamb in the mail cart that had been in the morning.
It was a strange sensation,
Being wheeled in a pony carriage by a giant.
Everyone enjoyed the journey except Robert and the few people that they passed on the way.
These mostly went into what looked like some kind of standing-up fits by the side of the road.
Just outside Ben and Hurst,
Robert hid in a barn,
And the others went on to the fair.
There were some swings and a hooting-tooting blaring merry-go-round,
And a shooting gallery and Aunt Sally's.
Resisting an impulse to win a coconut,
Or at least to attempt it,
Cyril went up to the woman who was loading little guns before the array of glass bottles on strings against a sheet of canvas.
"'Here you are,
Little gentleman,
' she said,
Penny a shot.
"'No,
Thank you,
' said Cyril.
"'We're here on business,
Not on pleasure.
Who is the master?
' "'The what?
' "'The master.
The head.
The boss of the show.
' "'Oh,
Over there,
' she said,
Pointing to a stout man in a dirty linen jacket who was sleeping in the sun.
"'But I don't advise you to wake him,
Sudden.
' His tempers contrary,
Especially on these hot days.
"'But it's rather important,
' said Cyril.
"'It'll be very profitable to him.
I think he'll be sorry if we don't wake him.
' "'Oh,
If it's money in his pocket,
' said the woman.
"'No kid now.
What is it?
' "'It's a giant.
' "'You are kidding me.
' "'Come along and see,
' said Anthea.
" The woman looked doubtfully at them.
Then she called to a ragged little girl in striped stockings and a dingy white petticoat.
Leaving her in charge of the shooting gallery,
She turned to Anthea and said,
"'Well,
Hurry up,
But if you are kidding,
You'd best say so.
I'm as mild as milk myself,
But my Bill,
He's a fair terror.
' Anthea led the way to the barn.
"'It really is a giant,
' she said.
"'He's a giant little boy,
In a suit like my brother's.
And we didn't bring him up to the fair because people do stare so,
And they seem to go into a kind of trance when they see him.
And we thought perhaps that you'd like to show him and get pennies.
And if you'd like to pay us something,
You can.
Only,
It'll have to be rather a lot,
Because we promised him that he should have double a share of whatever we make.
' The woman murmured something indistinct,
And had taken hold of Anthea's hand and was holding it very firmly.
And Anthea could not help wondering what would happen if Robert should have wandered off or turned his proper size during the interval.
But she knew that the Samoyeds' gifts really did last until sunset,
However inconvenient their lasting might be.
And she did not think,
Somehow,
That Robert would care to go out alone while he was that size.
When they reached the barn and Cyril called Robert,
There was a stir among the loose hay and Robert began to come out.
His hand and arm came first,
Then a foot and leg.
When the woman saw the hand,
She said,
Oh my!
But when she saw the foot,
She said,
Upon my word!
And when,
By slow and heavy degrees,
The whole of Robert's enormous bulk was at last disclosed,
She drew a long breath and began to say many things.
What'll you take for him?
She said.
Excitedly.
Anything in reason.
We'd have a special van built.
I know where there's a second-hand one that'd do.
What'll you take for him?
He's soft,
Ain't he?
Them giants mostly is.
But I never seen.
No,
Never.
What'll you take?
Down on the nail.
We'll treat him like a king and give him first-rate grub.
He must be dotty,
Or he wouldn't need you kids to cart him about.
Come on,
What'll you take for him?
They won't take anything for me,
Said Robert sternly.
I'm no more soft than you are.
I'll come and be a show for today,
Today only,
If you'll give me 15 shillings.
Done,
Said the woman.
So quickly that Robert felt he had been unfair to himself and wished that he had asked for 30.
Come on now,
Come and see my bill and we'll fix a price for the season.
I dare say you might get as much as two pounds a week regular.
Come on and make yourself as small as you can for gracious' sake.
This was not very small and a crowd gathered quickly.
So that it was at the head of an enthusiastic procession that Robert entered the trampled meadow where the fair was held and passed over the stubby,
Yellow,
Dusty grass to the door of the biggest tent.
He crept in and the woman went to call her bill.
He was the big sleeping man and he did not seem at all pleased at being awakened.
Cyril,
Watching through a slit in the tent saw him scowl and shake a heavy fist and a sleepy head.
Then the woman went on speaking very fast.
Bill slouched up to the tent and entered.
When he beheld the magnificent proportions of Robert he said but little.
Strike me pink were the only words the children could afterwards remember.
But he produced the 15 shillings mainly in sixpences and coppers and handed it to Robert.
Can you do a song or a bit of a breakdown?
Not today,
Said Robert rejecting the idea of trying to sing.
Get Levi and them to clear out them blooming photos clear out the tent,
Stick out a curtain or something the man went on.
Lord what a pity we ain't got no tights in his size but we'll have them before the week's out.
Young man your fortune's made it's a good thing you came to me and not to some other chap I can tell you.
I've known blokes has beat their giants and starved them too so I'll tell you straight you're in luck this day if you never was before because I'm a lamb I am and I won't deceive you.
I'm not afraid of anyone beating me said Robert looking down on the lamb.
Robert was crouched on his knees because the tent was not big enough for him to stand upright in but even in that position he could still look down on most people.
But I am awfully hungry I wish you'd get me something to eat.
Here,
Becker,
Said Bill get him some grub the best you've got,
Mind.
Another whisper followed of which the children only heard down in black and white first thing tomorrow.
Then the woman went to get the food it was only bread and cheese when it came but it was delightful to the large and empty Robert and the man went to post senitals around the tent to give the alarm if Robert should attempt to escape with his 15 shillings.
As if we weren't honest said Anthea indignantly when the meaning of the sentinels dawned on her.
Then began a very strange and wonderful afternoon.
Bill was a man who knew his business in a very little while the photographic views the spyglasses you look at them through so that they seem really rather real and the lights that you see them by were all packed away.
A curtain an old red and black carpet really was run across the tent Robert was concealed behind it and Bill was standing on a table outside the tent making a speech.
It was a rather good speech.
It began by saying that the giant it was his privilege to introduce to the public that day was the eldest son of the Emperor of San Francisco compelled through an unfortunate love affair with the Duchess of the Fiji Islands to leave his own country and take refuge in England the land of liberty where freedom was the right of every man no matter how big he was.
It ended by the announcement that the first 20 who came to the tent door should see the giant for threepence apiece.
After that said Bill the price is riz and I don't undertake to say that it won't be riz so now's your time.
A young man with his sweetheart on her afternoon out was the first to come forward for this occasion he was the princely attitude no expense spared money no object.
His girl wished to see the giant and so she shall.
The flap of the tent was raised the couple entered.
Next moment a wild shriek from the girl thrilled through all present.
Bill slapped his leg that's done the trick he whispered to Becca it was indeed a splendid advertisement of the charms of Robert.
When the young girl came out she was pale and trembling and a crowd was round the tent.
What was it like?
Asked a farmhand.
Oh just horrid you wouldn't believe it she said it's as big as a barn and that fierce it froze the blood in my bones I wouldn't have missed seeing it for anything.
The fierceness was only caused by Robert's trying not to laugh but the desire to do that soon left him and before sunset he was more inclined to cry than laugh and more inclined to sleep than either.
Four by ones and twos and threes people kept coming in all afternoon and Robert had to shake hands with those who wished it and to allow himself to be punched and pulled and patted and thumped so that people might make sure he was really real.
The other children sat on a bench and watched and waited and were very very bored indeed.
It seemed to them that this was the hardest way of earning money that could have been invented and only 15 shillings.
Bill had taken four times that already for the news of the giant had spread and tradespeople in carts and gentle people in carriages came from far and near.
One gentleman with an eyeglass and a very large yellow rose in his buttonhole offered Robert in a whisper ten pounds a week to appear at the Crystal Palace.
Robert had to say no.
I can't he said regretfully it's no use promising what you can't do.
Oh poor fellow bound for a term of years I suppose well here's my card when your time's up come see me.
I will if I'm the same size by then said Robert truthfully.
If you grow a bit so much the better said the gentleman.
When he had gone Robert beckoned Cyril and said tell them I must and I will have a rest and I want my tea.
Tea was provided and a paper hastily pinned on the tent.
It said closed for half an hour while the giant gets his tea.
Then there was a hurried counsel how am I to get away said Robert.
I've been thinking about it all afternoon.
Why you just walk out when the sun sets and you're your right size they can't do anything to us.
Robert opened his eyes why they'd nearly kill us he said when they saw me get my right size.
No we must think of some other way we must be alone when the sun sets.
I know said Cyril briskly and he went to the door outside which Bill was smoking a clay pipe and talking in a low voice to Becca.
Cyril heard him say good as having a fortune.
Look here said Cyril you can let people come in again in a minute he's nearly finished tea but he must be left alone when the sun sets.
He's very queer at that time of day and if he's worried I won't answer for the consequences.
Why?
What comes over him?
Asked Bill.
I don't know but it's sort of a change said Cyril candidly.
He isn't at all like himself you'd hardly know him.
He acts very queer indeed someone will get hurt if he's not alone about sunset.
And this was true.
He'll pull around for the evening though I suppose.
Oh yes half an hour after sunset he'll be quite himself again.
And so at what Cyril judged was about half an hour before sunset the tent was again closed whilst the giant gets his supper.
The crowd was very merry about the giant's meals and they're coming so close together.
Inside the tent the four children breathlessly arranged a plan of retreat.
You go now said Cyril to the girls and get along home as fast as you can and never mind the pony cart we'll get back tomorrow.
Robert and I are dressed the same we'll manage somehow.
Only you girls must get out we can run but you can't whatever you may think.
No Jane it's no good Robert going out and knocking people down.
The police would follow him until he turned his proper size and then arrest him like a shot.
Go you must.
If you don't I'll never speak to you again.
It was you that got us into this mess really hanging around people's legs the way that you did this morning.
Go I tell you.
And Jane and Anthea went.
We're going home they said to Bill.
We're leaving the giant with you please be kind to him.
When they had gone Cyril went to Bill.
Look here he said he wants some ears of corn there's some in the next field.
I'll just run and get it.
Oh and he says can't you loop up the tent at the back a bit.
He says he's stifling for a breath of air.
I'll see that no one peeps in on him.
I'll cover him up and he can take a nap.
While I go for the corn.
The giant was made comfortable with a heap of sacks and an old tall powling.
The curtain was looped up and the brothers were left alone.
They matured their plan in whispers.
Outside the merry-go-round blared out its comic tunes screaming now and then to attract public notice.
Half a minute after the sun had set a boy came out past Bill.
I'm off for the corn he said and mingled quickly with the crowd.
At the same instant a boy came out of the back of the tent past Becca.
I'm off after the corn said this boy also and he too moved away quietly and was lost in the crowd.
The front door boy was Cyril the back door boy was Robert now since sunset once more his proper size.
They walked quickly through the field along the road where Robert caught Cyril up and then they ran.
They were home as soon as the girls were for it was a long way and they ran most of it.
It was indeed a very long way as they found out when they had to go and drag the pony cart home the next morning with no enormous Robert to wheel them in it as if it were a mail cart.
I cannot possibly tell you what Bill and Becca said when they found that the giant had gone for one thing I do not know.
