So fundamentally,
Why have we sought a relationship?
Because you find yourself that without a relationship,
If you do not have any kind of relationship in your life,
Then you become depressed.
So fundamentally you're seeking a relationship because you want to be happy,
You want to be joyful.
Or in other words,
You're trying to use the other as a source of your happiness.
When you're trying to use the other person as a source of your happiness,
What it means is your happiness is not on self-start.
It's like this.
Maybe nobody is old enough for this,
But here… Let's say you bought a car in 1940s.
If you got yourself a car in 40s,
Along with the car you have to get yourself two servants because morning push start.
Fifties if you got a car,
One servant would do because crank start.
Now all your automobiles are self-start,
Isn't it?
But your happiness is still on push start,
Isn't it?
Somebody has to push it a little bit,
Otherwise it won't get started.
If you put your happiness on self-start and now if you're happy by your own nature,
Now relationships will become a means for you to express your happiness,
Not to seek happiness.
If you're forming relationships to seek happiness and trying to squeeze happiness out of somebody and that person is trying to squeeze happiness out of you,
Now this is going to be a painful relationship after some time.
Initially it may be okay because something is being fulfilled,
But if you have become a joy by yourself and you're forming relationships because you want to express your happiness,
Nobody's going to complain about you because you're in the process of expressing your joy,
Not seeking joy from the other person.
So if your life becomes an expression of your joy,
Not in pursuit of happiness,
Then relationships will be naturally wonderful.
You can hold a million relationships and still hold them good.
Now this whole circus of trying to fulfill somebody else's expectations does not arise because if you are an expression of joy,
Anyway they want to be with you.
If you're trying to extract joy from them,
Then they won't avoid you.
Yes?
Shifting your life from pursuit of happiness to an expression of joyfulness is what needs to happen if relationships have to really work on all levels.
